AUTHOR'S NOTE: After all that I feel like we need something from EJ's POV of view eh? So here it is. ;)
Chapter TEN
EJ climbed out of his car and locked it, whistling a happy little tune. He caught himself doing it and grinned. But then why shouldn't he whistle, he had a lot to be happy about after all. It was just over a month since his and Samantha's melt down at the mansion. It still staggered him how Sami had been able to reach into the very depths of his soul and hold out the life line that he was too lost to know he even needed anymore.
What was even more astounding to him was that she'd wanted to. EJ had woken up from his coma to the realisation that Sami had shot him and something had just shut down inside of him. The hope that EJ had been cautiously nurturing throughout summer that he and Sami might yet still have a life together had been crushed once and for all, or so he believed.
EJ had decided that if he couldn't have Sami's heart then he'd have her body and make sure no other man ever had her. Of course at the time he didn't question why he just didn't cut her completely from his life but EJ hadn't wanted to examine that too closely. Life without Sami whilst married to Nicole had been some kind of faux living and EJ wasn't going to have that again.
He may not have been able to have all of Sami but he'd take what he could get, on his terms, by his rules and his children would have both their parent's living together. It had actually shocked EJ that first morning when they'd had sex. After four years of trying to cajole, sweet talk, reason, lay his heart bare for Sami to achieve that goal apparently he only had to do, not say anything.
He hadn't expected to get too far that first morning let alone have Sami three times – more than the total number of times they'd had sex in four years. EJ had figured it out then, or at least he thought he had – he had to withhold everything but his body from Sami and she wouldn't be able to stop herself from chasing after him. At first EJ had loved it, adored how she gave her body to him without argument or resistance. But no matter how many times EJ tasted of the Sami fruit he was never truly satisfied because deep down he knew that he wanted more than just her body.
When Sami had left that last morning EJ had followed her and as soon as he'd seen her with Rafe something had just snapped within him. It was the final straw that unleashed the floodgates of recriminations and accusations. It had felt so good to put into words all the anger and betrayal he'd felt at Sami's seemingly uncaring hand that day in their bedroom. The fight that had ensued had felt like four years of disappointment and pain being blurted out in one powerful act. Afterwards though, EJ had felt worse than he did before and had hated himself for his weakness.
Sami had screamed out her love for him during that last act of savage sex and it was all EJ had wanted to hear for so long and hated himself for what it did to him. He wanted to be free of the hold this woman had over him but hearing her declarations of love and how that made him feel threatened the carefully constructed reality he was desperate to maintain when it came to Sami. That realisation drove him from her presence and forced more walls up. He was too used to Sami's games to let himself go there again. Sami always toyed with him, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not and EJ was done with it, he didn't want to be her play thing anymore.
He hadn't expected how she was when Sami had followed him into the living room though and it was then EJ had realised his fatal mistake in allowing there to be kissing between them again. It had changed everything and he couldn't rein things back in and God help him but the will to try was leaving him which was even more frightening. But he'd had to kiss Sami, couldn't bear to hear her begging him to kill her, such a thought tore EJ's heart out that she could think he'd ever do such a thing. That just amplified the pain for EJ as well knowing Sami was capable of wanting him dead and had the scars to prove it.
He'd been such a mess of confusion and random emotion after that it was hard to find even the words to give voice to them. But then EJ had found Sami in that pool and everything had changed. It all came into sharp relief for him – no matter how torturous the life with Sami was it was so much better than a life without her in it. But then all the things Sami had said to him afterwards, it was all like a dream far too good to ever be true.
EJ feared for days afterward that he'd wake from that dream and find nothing had changed between them. He was afraid to close his eyes and sleep in the beginning in case he woke to a different reality. Each day he did wake though it was to meet this reborn Samantha, a woman who seemed to have gone through her own dark night of the soul and come out the other side something completely different. Or maybe more accurately – what she'd always been meant to be.
After what had happened by the pool he and Sami had talked – a lot. During their many talks they'd straightened many things out, expressed a lot of feelings and just been more honest with one another than they'd been with anyone else in their lives. EJ so wanted to embrace this new life, this second chance at everything that Sami seemed to be offering him with open arms but despite that something seemed to be holding him back. Sami had told him she understood, that there was a lot of water under their bridge and she was willing to wait until EJ had sorted out all the things he'd needed to.
It was so strange to be in this position. Sami was offering herself to him whole heartedly which is all EJ had ever wanted but now it was him he was baulking. It was like over the course of four years of knowing one another and all the things that had passed between them they'd completely swapped roles in each other's lives. When they'd first met it was EJ who had been sure they were meant to be together and encouraging Sami to believe in him and his love whilst Sami had been cautious and then downright reactionary to the concept.
EJ still couldn't imagine a life without Sami but he'd been hurt and rejected so many times by her that his faith had faltered and it wasn't so easily restored, no matter how much EJ might want it to be. But Sami had been amazing about the whole thing telling EJ that she understood and that everything was going to be alright. So they'd fallen into an easy rhythm of simply being parents to their children and rebuilding a real friendship and trust between them once again, like they had at the very beginning. Each day was more wonderful than the last as EJ slowly began to gain more confidence in the fact that this was real and Sami wasn't suddenly going to change her mind or run back to Rafe.
By tacit agreement they were no longer sleeping together. EJ missed being physically close to Sami, especially being able to share a bed with her but in the end it had felt necessary. Always their relationship had been too unbalanced one way or the other. Either EJ had been too open to an unready Sami or their relationship had been all mind games and one upmanship of hurting one another or too intensely physical without a meeting of hearts and mind. It felt like a new beginning for them and as Sami had confidently told him – they had time, they should take it and do this right, it was too important not to.
So for the last month they'd been parents and the friendship they'd enjoyed when they'd first met had returned. It was like their summer together only so much better because there was nothing left between them to hold back from the other. The days were filled with fun with the children and so many open and conversations with one another. EJ didn't think he'd ever been this happy in his life and it only got better each day. He could feel all of the scars of their past wounds fading for both of them. EJ knew he'd hurt Sami terribly over the years as she had him but somehow they were both finding their way out the other side of all of that to such a bright future. So that was why EJ had been quietly excited when Sami had rung him and asked him to meet her for a picnic lunch at the park. Every moment EJ spent with Sami he fell more under her spell and for the first time there was nothing to dread about that thought.
They'd moved out of his father's house, it had felt very important to distance himself from all of the symbols that had caused issues in their relationship before. Besides it was the house he'd shared with Nicole and EJ wanted something that was just his and Sami's. His father hadn't been thrilled but for the moment both he and Sami were relatively comfortable that Stefano should still be allowed in their lives so Stefano had ended up being placated with that and regular visits.
They'd moved into their new home they'd chosen together only a week ago and it was still a total mess of boxes and children toys but it was an exciting time nonetheless. EJ kept walking into the gardens until he was almost at the place Sami had organised to meet him. As he approached he heard the unmistakeable sound of his children's voice.
"No Sydney," piped up Johnny's voice, "You have to stayed here."
"Shh Johnny!" said Ali very loudly, "EJ will hear us."
EJ had to hide his smile at the twin's cute attempt at hiding and stepped into the clearing where there was a picnic table.
"Oh my," said EJ loudly, looking around himself, "I wonder where everyone is?"
EJ could hear the children giggling excitedly now and hid another smile. Suddenly Ali and Johnny burst out from behind one of the trees and Sydney a few seconds behind them, not sure what she was doing but following her older sibling's moves.
"Surprise Daddy!"
"S'prise!"
"Piz!"
EJ made a huge gesture of surprise in that way parents always do to delight their children.
"Johnny, Ali, Sydney!" said EJ wide eyed and looking shocked.
"Did we suprised you Daddy?" asked Johnny excitedly.
"So much Johnny!" exclaimed EJ, putting his hand to his heart and shaking his head, "Why I had no idea you were all there at all!"
The three excited children beamed at that and EJ smiled to see their excitement.
"Where's mummy darlings?" he asked, looking around knowing that they'd never be in the park by themselves.
They were lined up in front of him now and EJ could see all three of them had something behind their backs.
"We have a 'pecial surprise for you Daddy," said Johnny with a big grin.
"Do you now?" asked EJ with an indulgent smile wondering how he'd ever lived before his children were in his life, "I wonder what it could be?"
"We showed you EJ," said Ali with a huge smile and she and Johnny moved the piece of card from behind their backs and proudly displayed them, "You too Sydney."
Ali encouraged her younger sister to do the same as she and Johnny were doing.
"Taa dahh!" announced Sydney triumphantly having just recently learnt the word.
EJ choked back a gasp at the message or rather question written on the three separate cards each child was carrying.
"MARRY WILL YOU EW?"
Johnny and Ali were obviously standing out of order and little Sydney had her sign upside down but EJ knew exactly what it was meant to read and felt his heart tighten painfully with all of the emotion that rocketed through his body in that moment. EJ's vision became suddenly blurry as emotional tears filled his eyes at what this was. Sami walked out from a line of trees and came to stand by the children, a look of hopeful nervousness on her face.
"Hi," she said softly and EJ was too choked up to answer properly, "I felt like I owed you at least one of these EJ's."
Sami looked to her left and pulled a bit of a face at the children's efforts.
"We practiced that all morning," said Sami with a rueful smile at EJ.
"We do it right Mummy?" asked Johnny eagerly.
"It's perfect my loves," EJ answered for her with a tremulous smile.
EJ looked back at Sami then, holding her gaze adoringly.
"Utterly perfect."
"That was just the warm up act," said Sami, looking at him and gave him a smile full of trepidation.
EJ didn't know what else to expect but what Sami did next was something he'd never dreamt of in his wildest dreams. Holding EJ's gaze unflinchingly Sami went down on one knee in front of EJ, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.
"EJ I love you," said Sami emotionally, "I loved you from the beginning but ran from that love for so long and made us both suffer because of my fear. I don't want to run anymore, I want to be with a man who accepts me just the way I am and one that I do the same with. I want to be with a man who challenges me, makes me laugh, drives me crazy and is all the things I was too frightened to be loving you. I want to be with you EJ and only, today and all the rest of my todays."
"Samantha," said EJ raggedly, the sight of her kneeling before him and saying these impossibly sweet things affecting him in the most profound way.
"All my life I've been afraid of being alone EJ," Sami told him unevenly, "But I'm not afraid of that anymore."
Sami took a deep uneven breath.
"I'm only afraid of being alone without you," she confessed to him softly.
EJ closed his eyes, feeling his heart swell with love for this woman and realising how very far Sami had come in such a short amount of time to admit such a thing to him.
"I love you EJ and want to be by your side forever," said Sami earnestly, "Will you marry me?"
EJ wanted to scream out yes at the top of his lungs but his throat had constricted so with what Sami's sweet proposal had done to him that he couldn't quite get the word out. Sami was looking up at him with big blue eyes full of vulnerability and nervous hope and even fear that he might say no.
"Yes tah Mommy!" exclaimed Sydney brightly into the silence as she heard her mommy ask a question and though not understanding it she knew how to answer questions.
The child's innocent helpfulness broke the tension between her parents and both Sami and EJ burst out laughing.
"I think my youngest child has said it perfectly," said EJ with a huge smile, a happy smile streaking down his face.
EJ went down on his knees in front of Sami, drawing all the children and Sami into his arms at the same time.
"Yes tah Mummy," said EJ unevenly to a Sami whose face had lit up in relief and delight, "I marry will you ew – so very, very much."
Sami's face split open with the hugest of smiles as she cupped EJ's face and kissed him passionately as EJ held them all in his arms. EJ wanted that kiss to go on forever but it was a bit hard when you had three wiggly children under five in your arms at the same time.
"My turn!"
"Me too!"
The twins were wanting their kisses now and Sydney's squealed 'Meee!' meant there were suddenly a lot of sloppy, wet kisses being handed around. Everyone was laughing and kissing and for EJ it was an utterly perfect moment.
"I love you," said EJ emotionally, resting his forehead against Sami in amongst all of the madness.
"Enough to marry me now?" asked Sami with a quivering smile.
"Now?" asked EJ in surprise.
"Look Daddy!" exclaimed Johnny, ever the little man of action and keen to show his father.
Johnny grabbed EJ's hand as EJ stood up and dragged him over towards the path that EJ knew led to a gazebo on the other side of the line of bushes. When he walked through he could see what EJ could only assume was a marriage celebrant standing there with a patient smile on his face and the gazebo had been decorated all in flowers.
"Here EJ," said Ali with a big smile, "Mommy said I could looked after this for you."
Ali carefully removed a boutonnière from her dress pocket, a posy of purple flowers and handed it to EJ for him to wear and it was then EJ registered that all of the children were wearing different shades of purple – Johnny's shirt, the girl's dresses and Sami herself was wearing a softly flowing dress of lilac. He hadn't thought anything of it but Sami had laid out one of EJ's pale purple shirts to wear to work that morning and now he knew why.
"So," said Sami, looking nervous again as EJ looked down at his boutonnière and then back at her, "Winsomely romantic or pushing too hard?"
A slow smile came to EJ's lips at Sami even having to ask that question.
"Winsomely romantic Samantha," he said, a slowly spreading joy filling his body as he realised that at long last Sami was going to be his wife, "Definitely that one."
"So shall we do this?" asked Sami, her face practically glowing now, "Do you want to marry me now EJ and make this official once and for all?"
"More than I want my next breath sweetheart," said EJ huskily as they smiled at each other in excited adoration.
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"You were gone awhile," Sami commented, glancing over her shoulder as she finished doing the washing up.
"The children were still very wound up from today, especially Johnny," said EJ, coming up behind Sami and putting his arms around her waist and kissing the top of her head lovingly, "The girls crashed pretty suddenly but Johnny needed a little more of his batteries run down."
"That kid is a live wire alright," said Sami with an indulgent shake of her head.
"To be fair he did have a lot of wedding cake," EJ laughed, hugging Sami to him at the memory of the dinner they'd shared that night at the restaurant Sami had picked.
"It was a special occasion," said Sami, leaning back into EJ as she pulled the plug, done with the washing up now.
"A very special occasion," agreed EJ huskily.
Sami turned around in EJ's arms and smiled up at him.
"Thank you," said EJ with a heartfelt smile, "Today was perfect Samantha – you have no idea what it means to me that you did all that for me."
"You have no idea what it means to me that you said yes and trusted me enough to marry me," said Sami, her face softening, "I was so scared you were going to say no EJ. I mean I did to you – twice."
"You know what I think?" asked EJ with a wry little smile, "I think that if things hadn't happened the way they had between us before then we wouldn't have had this perfect day and I wouldn't give up the memories we made today for all the money in the world sweetheart so from where I'm standing it was all worthwhile, all of it."
Sami's face lit up at hearing that and she went up on her toes and kissed EJ lingeringly. Despite the hiatus on sex they kissed and kissed often and EJ loved that it was frequently Sami who initiated the simple act of intimacy and many others like taking his hand. They broke the kiss and Sami rested her head on EJ's chest as he hugged her to him.
"I'm exhausted," she said with a laughing groan, putting her arms around his waist.
"I can only imagine what it took to organise all this," said EJ admiringly.
"That wasn't the hard part," said Sami with a rueful chuckle, "The hard part was making sure the children kept our little secret."
"They did well," agreed EJ with a grin as he put an arm around Sami's shoulder and she put hers around his waist and they started to walk out of the kitchen and headed towards the bedrooms on the second floor.
They had to walk around many boxes yet to be unpacked but EJ was just happy that they had a home to call their own where his children and Ali and hopefully Will one day would want to live. The teenager was on holidays visiting Carrie and Austin right now and Sami had told him he hadn't been overly thrilled at the news when she'd rung him and told him what she'd planned.
Sami had said it was more to do with her than EJ though when it came to Will. She'd been down this road a lot of times before and Will basically expected her to ruin it sooner or later. EJ knew that wasn't going to happen this time but neither he nor Sami could blame the teenager for thinking that. Hopefully over time he'd come round and they could all be a proper family.
"You know sweetheart," said EJ with a teasing little smile as they finished climbing the stairs and headed towards the bedrooms, "This doesn't feel like one of our weddings. I didn't get shot and it actually happened."
They stopped now by the spare room which was where EJ was sleeping and he pulled a face.
"Then again," he said wryly, "Separate rooms for our wedding night – now it's feeling like one of our weddings."
"You wanted you to have space EJ," said Sami, wrinkling her nose, "And I didn't want there to be any confusion on your behalf that I only wanted your body and not the whole package. We kind of get lost a bit in the sex and I didn't want that clouding your judgement. I was happy to wait until you were ready."
"I know," said EJ huskily, "And I do appreciate that sweetheart. I think I needed it just to be about us and starting this relationship properly, based on trust before anything else."
"We kind of did everything backwards in this relationship didn't we?" asked Sami wryly.
"I'd hate for us to be typical," said EJ with a little smile.
"I don't think anyone could accuse us of that EJ," said Sami with a dry little laugh.
Sami bit her bottom lip and looked suddenly nervous now.
"But-but we are married now," she said a little hesitantly, looking up at him almost shyly, "So I guess that means you've kind of made up your mind about my intentions towards you and if you can trust me or not."
"I guess it does," said EJ with a slow nod of his head.
"So-so if you wanted to you could ah... stay, with me tonight," said Sami looking decidedly nervous now.
"Samantha," said EJ thickly, finding himself hugely aroused by her shy advances, "You know there hasn't been a moment I haven't wanted you this past month don't you?"
"I-I'd understand if there wasn't," said Sami unhappily, "I mean I nearly ended your life, there was a lot for you to get your head around."
"All that sex in the beginning was a convenient distraction," EJ admitted ruefully.
"And there was so much of it," said Sami wistfully.
"I couldn't give you any time to run away Samantha," EJ said, rather enjoying how Sami had sounded when she'd said that.
Sami gave him another shy look.
"And you didn't," she said unevenly and then reached out a tentative hand to stroked EJ's chest, "I-I really miss our schedule EJ."
The combination of Sami's light touch and her confession had EJ's heart suddenly thundering and almost all of his blood supply head south of the border and his cock stirred restlessly. EJ leant into the crook of the door and Sami followed, snuggling up to him – much to his growing hard on's delight.
"What do you miss about it?" asked EJ, his voice roughening as he watched Sami's face closely.
"I miss the orgasms," admitted Sami candidly with a bit of a cheeky smile, "I miss not knowing if you were going to make me cum or leave me wanting more-"
EJ moved a little restlessly in his spot, the way Sami was fitting her soft curves against his hard lines now not being missed on him.
"-I miss the way you'd take what you wanted without asking," said Sami huskily, looking up at him through her lashes, "I miss how relentless you were, how demanding."
Sami moved even closer now, going up on her toes so her lips were more in line with his, EJ's breathing becoming decidedly ragged now.
"I miss seeing your cock huge and thick and knowing that you were going to impale me on it at any moment," said Sami throatily and EJ was forced to swallow a moan at that and squeeze his eyes closed, "I miss how much I satisfied you when you saw how wet I was for you each and every time."
"Oh god but I loved that," EJ groaned helplessly as countless memories assailed him of finding Sami's juices dripping down her inner thighs and knowing it was all for him.
Sami gave her own little moan now, beginning to rub her body against his as though she couldn't help it.
"I miss feeling you cum inside of me EJ," Sami groaned, her frustration now, "I miss feeling it flood all up deep inside of me and knowing that is was my body that had gotten you off."
"Yess," hissed EJ, his voice tight with excitement as he suddenly reversed their positions.
EJ flipped Sami around so she was up against the door frame, his hand going to her breast and roughly massaging it through her clothes.
"Have you been touching yourself, making yourself cum this last month Samantha?" EJ demanded to know, his mind's eyes filled with images of her doing just that.
"I-I tried not to EJ," said Sami breathlessly, clearly enjoying his touch, "But I couldn't help it."
"Did you think of me every time you did it?" asked EJ roughly, needing to know.
"Yes," said Sami with a low moan, "Always you EJ."
EJ tightened his hand possessively on her breast at that admission.
"I'd like a wedding present from you Samantha," said EJ, his eyes dark with his own arousal.
"Yes," Sami groaned hungrily, "Anything EJ."
"I want you to make yourself cum right now while I watch," said EJ hoarsely.
"Wouldn't you like to do it for me?" asked Sami, licking her lips hungrily.
EJ would, very much so but he didn't know if he could trust himself once his fingers slipped into that dripping, pulsating core of Sami's – his hard on would be demanding its own turn soon enough. As it was the monster was already a painful pressure against his trousers.
"I want to watch," EJ said roughly.
Sami drew in an excited breath. Holding EJ's gaze Sami slowly pulled up the skirt of her dress so that her underwear was exposed to his avid gaze.
"Take them off," said EJ thickly, feeling himself begin to fall into this familiar web.
Oh god how he wanted this woman.
Sami quickly complied, shimming out of them and leaving them to pool around one ankle.
She moved her right hand to the apex of her thighs, her left hand still holding up her skirt so EJ could see properly.
"Use your other hand," EJ growled, moving restlessly as he pinned Sami to the wall as his own need for the show to start built inside of him.
Sami looked at him in confusion.
"I want your hand with my wedding ring on it to be the one which makes you cum," said EJ, his voice thick with excitement.
Sami gave a knowing smile at that and hurried to comply. EJ watched mesmerised as Sami began to work on herself, fingers disappearing into her folds and finding the clit that EJ knew from experience would already be swollen. The flash of Sami's engagement ring as she worked on herself frantically was an odd aphrodisiac for EJ – a symbol that she'd given her heart to him before giving her body now.
It added so much to the moment for EJ and his stomach muscles clenched accordingly. Sami was beginning to pant rapidly now and there were little grunting groans escaping her lips that she was trying to contain, conscious of not waking the children who were sleeping not far away. EJ's own breathing became ragged as he watched Sami struggle to contain herself.
"Let me go inside the bedroom EJ," Sami moaned in frustration, "I can be loud for you."
"No," said EJ, the excitement building in the pit of his stomach and tightening his balls, "I want it like this."
Sami bit her bottom lip to stop a moan of complaint but apparently despite her frustration she seemed to be enjoying EJ taking charge like this. She gasped and began to shudder helplessly as EJ tweaked the nipple he had in his hand hard as Sami suddenly climaxed. He was forced to help her stand up when Sami's knees suddenly went weak and she sagged against him a little.
"Oh god," she moaned weakly, clutching at EJ's shirt front and clearly trying to recover.
"Thank you," said EJ hoarsely, leaning his forehead against Sami, "Thank you for my wedding gift sweetheart."
"You can have more EJ," said Sami shakily, still trying to catch her breath but obviously very eager to please.
Her hand went to the front of EJ's trousers, cupping his painfully throbbing bulge and making EJ draw in a sharp breath from the flair of intense need.
"I think someone needs you to fuck your new wife all night long," said Sami, looking up at him with big blue eyes shining with excitement and need.
EJ swallowed hard and began to shake a little himself now...