Disclaimer: Yes, I am JK Rowling, here to have my revenge. JUST KIDDING!
I know. I know. And if anyone's still reading this, I'm sorry.
Chapter Ten: Dive Bomb Dave
The ACL were grouped together outside the castle, by the lake. It was a fine sunny day, so they had all dressed lightly. Well, they were for a few moments, but when the few shorts-clad Goth's bared their legs to the sun, several Mosha's had been blinded by the light reflecting off of the white legs, so they had been forced to cover up.
Harry had gotten hold of the three digital cameras, and had once again divided the ACL into its four groups. They were standing in formation around him, and seemed to be making the place colder.
"Whoever brought that fan out, will you please take it back inside!" Hermione blew on her whistle and pointed at the big electric fan rotating around. An apologetic looking mosha hurried past the evil eyed Gryffindor with the fan over his shoulder. After he had returned, Harry dolled out the cameras, one to each group except the smallest group - the emos.
"Emo's, with Hermione, the rest of you, with me!" As the reluctant emo's pushed each other after Hermione, Harry took the rest of them to a shady patch beside some trees.
"Right. In ten minutes I want you all able to use these properly. Practice with them in any way you want but if I see any leather then heads will roll. Okay?"
Harry laid down on the banks of the lake to relax for ten minutes, but couldn't manage to clear his head. This might have been due to the hundreds of chavs jumping out of their windows into the lake and splashing him, but it might not.
"BOMBS AWAY!"
"FOR BIGGI!"
"KAMIKAZE!"
"WHEEEEEEEE!" Were just a few of the things yelled before the almighty splashes.
Harry sat up and squinted at them as they got out of the water.
"That was well wak!" Two football-chavs high fived then bounced their beer bellies together, creating a small earthquake and dislodging an uncertain whav in between jumping and going back inside. With a girlish scream, the whav belly-flopped into the lake.
"BOOYAKASHA!" One of the football chav's shouted, flicking is hand so his fingers snapped together. They were nearly all out of the water now and were about to set off for another go, when a Raven stopped, looking puzzled.
"Where is ma Dave?" A speedo-and-goldie-looking-chain'd 'puff gangsta slapped his back.
"Who's Dave?"
"Dave! You know Dave! Dave and Chaz!" Comprehension dawned.
"Ohhhhh. Chaz and Dave! Yeah. Where is he?" There was a search among their group, each checking that they themselves were not indeed Dave. Chav memories are notoriously small, as the amount of alcohol drank slowly pickles their brain cells.
"He's not here!"
"Did he even jump?"
"He's a puff, so probs not like."
"Do not disrespect Dave!"
"Or what?"
"Or he'll lamp you, you llama!"
"Wtf's a llama?"
"A type of fish, innit?" As the conversation descended into whether a llama was indeed a fish, Harry realised that ten minutes were up. He got up and strolled back to where he had left the ACL.
"Are you all done?" They were all sat down, relaxing and letting their hair down. And down. And down. It was amazing they could stand up with that much weight on their heads.
"Duuude."
"Okay. Lets see then." Harry took a seat just slightly away from the sweaties to avoid their smell.
"Ours is dude." The mosha's favourite word seemed to be dude. They used it in place of everything. For example, instead of saying 'Could you possibly pass me that razorblade over there old bean?' a mosha would ask, 'Dude. There, dude.'
A black haired, fat mosha with two rings on his bottom lip handed Harry the camera, touching Harry's hand for what Harry thought was longer than necessary.
"Ta…" He switched the camera on and flipped back the screen. He pressed play. Then pressed pause and looked up at the moshas.
"Where in the name of Merlin did you film this?" There was silence. "Tell me!"
"Flbble…" The fat mosha muttered.
"I didn't quite catch that sorry, where?"
"At a-" Unfortunately, the mosha was cut off by an anguished cry.
"OH MY GOD, DAVE!"
Next chapter:
What happened to Dave.
Where was it filmed?
The plan…