Severus was in his room, sat thinking in front of the fire. He was sober this evening, something he hadn't been since he had pushed Hermione out of his quarters when he had realised his feelings for her were uncomfortably strong. Contrary to what Hermione might think, he was aware of her schemes to get him back. The duck incident had thrown him, but the robe switch had an obvious and sophisticated message behind it, one he couldn't ignore. It was time for him to face up to things.

The fact is, I miss her. I miss verbally sparring with someone intelligent enough to keep up with me, I miss working so comfortably with another person, and I miss the smiles, the glances and the seemingly innocent touches. If I'm truly honest with himself, I miss having her in my arms and kissing her.

Evan had visited him earlier, and had spoken a few choice words on the subject of him and Hermione. Even Lucius had sent a short note saying he hoped he'd get off his high horse, as he'd looked so happy at New Years. Severus was painfully aware his love life, or indeed lack of it, was a major topic of conversation at Shadow headquarters. Being a subject of gossip was both unusual and disturbing.

I meant what I said the time she tricked me into carrying her up to her rooms. There was no way she can learn what love was from me; I'm incapable of the emotion aren't I? God knows my parents hadn't been the best role models for a child to learn what an adult relationship was, abuse and pain and suffering….

He noticed his hand was wandering towards the bottle on the coffee table in front of him. Scowling he crossed his arms, squashing his hands into his armpits. He'd made a conscious decision to think things through sober this evening, and he wouldn't fall into the familiar trap of alcohol as an escape. He'd end up an alcoholic that way. Like my father, like he knew I would….

Severus looked up at the ceiling and counted to ten, calming himself. He shouldn't compare anything he had with Hermione with what his parents had.

Alright, problem one…

Hermione is young enough to be my daughter. There will be many raised eyebrows and the Daily Prophet will have a field day with a student teacher relationship, especially as it's us. The man whose past is murkier than anyone truly knows, and the brightest witch of the age, corrupted by said crook from a promising future as a Gryffindor to being involved with a mysterious potion as a Slytherin, leaving all her beloved friends behind her for individuals whose fathers are 'known' death eaters. It's not hard to imagine the hate mail she'll receive, and that's just the beginning.

One the other hand, she's made it clear it's perfectly legal for the two of us to be together, that point has been hammered home enough times. Anyone with a problem need only look at how happy we make each other, and if that doesn't satisfy them, they can go hang for all I care.

Fine then. Problem two,

Face it Severus, you're not good enough for her. Said murky past will drag her brilliance down. She is poised to begin her life outside Hogwarts, once she's seen a little of the world will she really want anything to do with you? You could just be setting yourself up for a massive fall. You've seen her potential, that's part of what attracted you to her in the first place. Is she really going to settle for you, when there are bound to be more attractive young men out there? She could have had Victor Krum for chrissake, a famous Quidditch star.

Yes she could have done, but she turned him down. Just like she turned down the Weasley boy. She could have easily stayed with both of them and enjoyed a full and happy relationship, but she ended them both. Maybe she is mature enough to know what she wants from a man, and if so, she certainly seems sure she wants me. "Merlin knows why, you're an utter bastard, but I think I'm in love with you." So, she knows what I am, but loves me anyway. And she doesn't look ready to give up any time soon…

Snape was starting to feel a lot happier now. Talking to himself was odd, but this weighing of options, pitting his honest and pessimistic sides seemed to be necessary. Burying his head in the sand hadn't worked after all.

Ok, so age is no barrier, she's fine with it. She thinks I'm worthy of her time, so why should I believe any different? Right. But do I love her?

Severus closed his eyes. Love. One word for such a multitude of emotions.

When I think about her, it hurts. I fear for her when she's way from me, where I can't watch her. And she'd hate me for saying it, she's hardly the simpering sort, but I love the feeling of protecting her. She arouses such anger from me, but such happiness too, is that right? Is that normal? What if one day she angers me so much I lash out? My father…

Severus paused, and sighed.

I am not my father. I would never strike her, even if she angered me enough for me to want to. Better to walk away and demolish a room's furnishings. My father never learned self-control. I have, I have needed to in order to survive. I'm a what, triple agent? And when this war is over, I could provide for her, what have I needed to spend money on these past few years anyway. And as a shadow I'd be in a vaguely important position, maybe heading up my own potions research group, she could satisfy her thirst for knowledge and not worry about material things.

And I would never stop her if she wanted to walk away. Ever. It would be the end of me if she left after I'd let her in, but I will never be her jailor. An equal-partnership should be exactly that.

Severus sat in thought for a little longer, before taking the bottle of Firewhiskey sat in front of him, and standing up, poured it over the fire, putting it out. Stood alone in the darkness, he lent against the mantelpiece and smiled to himself.

Hermione was up early the next day to supervise the students leaving Hogwarts for half term. There were more than was usual, normally people stuck around for the week off to catch up on homework, but this term the castle nigh on emptied. Ron, Ginny and Neville swept past her with ill-disguised hatred, and Hermione just smiled at them, angering them further. They were so easy to wind up.

Draco Pansy and Blaise were also leaving. Pansy was staying at Draco's rather than return to her orphanage and Hermione had bitten her tongue several times to stop from making inappropriate comments. They had been mature enough not to poke fun at her and Severus, so it wouldn't have been fair. They had left in the last coach, and once she had waved them off, Hermione went upstairs to change. Severus had sent her note at breakfast explaining that as they'd sacrificed her Saturday fitness training the last few weeks, they'd spend most of half term on that, spending the evenings on the potion. It wasn't permanent yet, but the mice whose lives they'd sped up showed they were incapacitated for about ten years. Easily long enough to win the final battle, but not the war. The order needed to be taken out. For life.

She had though about what to wear, and decided that dressing to impress wasn't appropriate. She would be worked hard if his smirk yesterday had been anything to go by. She transfigured a pair of white pyjamas into a basic exercise outfit, jogging bottoms and a polo shirt. She swept her hair up into a ponytail, and donned a pair of trainers. She decided to take her time walking down to the dungeons; she had plenty of time and was far from enthusiastic at the prospect of working out. She wasn't unfit, running around the castle dodging ghosts and teachers for six years had saved her that, but she was happier behind a desk.

Knocking on his classroom door at exactly half ten, Hermione strode straight in, not waiting for an answer. Severus was waiting for her, also dressed differently in deference to their activities. He was wearing a similar outfit to her own, but instead of being white, which she had thought sensible to keep cool, he had black sweats on, and a dark green Tee. He too had his hair tied back. And although the clothes were probably a lot lighter than his usual robes, he seemed lighter on his feet than she would have expected, and a lot happier than he had been yesterday when she'd gone to talk about Aberforth.

"Ready?" He asked. "You'll probably hate me by the end of this."

"As long as I can cuss as much as I need to I'll be fine."

Severus smirked. "Sounds about right. I thought we'd start today with a run around the grounds."

"Okay."

He led the way out of the dungeons and out onto the grounds. Hermione wondered briefly about why he wasn't concerned that they'd be seen running together, and questions might be asked. He could hardly answer that he was training her to fight everyone.

"We'll go once round the castle, then we'll stop and see how you feel."

Hermione nodded. "Lets just get this over with."

They started off at a slow jog, and Hermione managed to keep up with Snape easily. In fact she was often jogging in front of him, though she was too occupied with watching her feet to make any comments about him watching her six. The next time they ran round, he went a little faster, and she had to pause a few times to get her breath back. The third time, after about an hour and a half of running, Severus set off with an evil glint in his eye. Hermione groaned, but gamely trailed after him. This time the pace he set was way out of her league, and several times he stopped to give her time to catch up with him.

Hermione was having a miserable time. She was tired, aching and sweaty, thoroughly out of breath and her hair was all over the place. Severus, as if to rub it in, had barely broken out in a sweat at all. When they got back to the main entrance she happily collapsed in a heap on the floor.

"By the time I'm done with you, you'll manage that with no problems."

"Can't you just magic me fit?"

Severus chuckled. "No."

He held his hand out to her, and she took it, reflecting that by and large, he was treating her a lot better today. He hauled her to her feet, and the two of them made their way back to the dungeons. To her horror, they crossed paths with several students on their way, but Severus glared at them and they scuttled around them. Back in the classroom, Hermione questioned him about it.

"Won't is raise awkward questions if we're seen together like this? It's hardly to do with my potion is it?"

"It's unavoidable. I cannot make any of the dungeon rooms any bigger, they are the foundations of Hogwarts, and messing with them could cause structural irregularities. Unfortunately, that means that for running, we have to use the grounds. And as for weight training, I haven't figured that out yet. I'd shrink the desks and move the room around, but many ingredients are unstable, and doing so would alert the headmaster. The running we can pass off as two friends keeping fit together, but anything more serious will be a problem. Or is that you're more worried about being seen bright red?"

"I am not bright red."

"Are too. When was the last time you ran?"

Hermione ignored him.

"As to the other concern, I can solve that."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Please tell. And if it's the staff gym forget it."

Hermione thought fast. The room of requirement was perfect, but could she take a teacher there? Especially one who didn't already know of its existence. She felt like she would be betraying someone.

"Um. Well if I were to take you there, I'd have to cast some kind of disorientating spell. You can't know where it is."

"Why not."

"It's a student resource, a much needed secret room. A room that becomes whatever you need. It's where we held the D.A. meetings."

"Ah. The room of requirement. Yes I know it exists, but everyone who has ever come across it can generally never find it again. But I take it that's a myth?"

"Yep. We used it on a regular basis. But I won't tell you where it is, it's a student solidarity thing."

"Well isn't it you that's so keen to point out that you're not a student when you're with me, you're just a woman?"

Hermione opened her mouth and shut it again. Hadn't they just agreed to be friends a day or so ago? She'd expected flirting to take another few weeks at least.

"Well if you don't see me as a student…"

"I'm afraid I don't." Severus closed the gap between them. "Does that spoil your argument?"

"I couldn't care less about the room or requirement right now. Are you saying you see me as a woman? Not just a friend."

"I believe that is what I implied."

Hermione looked him in the eye.

"You're enjoying this aren't you."

"What?"

"Enjoying my bafflement as to what the hell you're doing. Are you saying that you're not going to be a complete idiot about us any more?"

"I was never a complete idiot…"

He trailed off at the look of utter joy on her face. I make her feel that way…

Needing no more encouragement, her leant forward and kissed her soundly, wrapping her in his arms as if she was the most precious thing in the world. Hermione, swept away in her surprise kissed him back with all the love she could muster. When they finally parted, both panting for breath, Hermione grinned.

"You may be all that at running, but I can take your breath away."