Chapter 11

"You are cordially invited by President Snow and his officers to join Victors Primrose Everdeen and Peeta Mellark on the Grand Victory Tour of Panem." Haymitch's mockery of the Capital accent was terrible, but Peeta couldn't laugh. Katniss sat next to him at her kitchen table. Prim took ahold of Katniss' hand.

"It's really happening," Katniss breathed. Peeta gripped the arms of the chair.

They had known this would happen. But now that it was here it was still unreal.

Six months had passed in the blink of an eye. Prim had grown over an inch, but was still the smallest in her new class. While she had gone to school.

After the first day of the term, she came home quiet. When her mother asked what was wrong Prim just said she was tired. When she was more withdrawn the second week, Katniss decided to follow her to school. She found Prim sitting alone in the schoolyard, her friends scattered on the other side of the field.

"They're afraid of me," Prim had whispered.

"You're a hero who gave them monthly Parcels!" Katniss objected.

"I'm the girl that killed Cato."

Katniss took Prim home and didn't let her go back to school. Peeta never went back.

He set up a table full of his old school books in his living room and Prim happily studied each day on her own, listening to him inventing recipes in the kitchen and Katniss chasing Buttercup away from Haymitch's geese through the open windows.

Katniss had finally relented and let her mother cut her hair up to her lower ribs. Mrs. Everdeen had been chasing Peeta to cut his long hair for weeks, but he was liking his new personal freedom. Besides, his father had said he liked his long hair and he missed his father so much.

The Mellarks didn't get out to the Victor's Village very often. Peeta had dinner at the Everdeens and visited Haymitch nearly every day.

Prim still followed him around the mornings after particularly frigthtening nightmares and he let her hang on to him when her memories would overwhelm her. Katniss watched with pain and rage while her sister stared in silence.

They watched Effie slowly encroach on Haymitch's life with bewilderment. First she came by every weekend to check on Prim and Peeta and harass Katniss to find a talent. Then she began to stay through Monday. Then she started to arrive on Friday.

She then decided it was more practical if she stayed at Haymitch's manor during her visits since her hovercraft's bedroom was "too small for her traveling attire", so she claimed a guest bedroom in the name of the government and brought a cleaning crew to make the house acceptable for someone of her title.

Haymitch had sat in his backyard all day, in a threadbare armchair the cleaning crew had first hauled out to the curb to junk, muttering to himself and drinking tea cut with white liquor. But he didn't send her away. Peeta had dared to wander over early afternoon and ask him if he was feeling all right.

"Sit down, Mellark." Haymitch gestured to the ground by the armchair.

Peeta glanced back to Katniss' and Prim's faces pressed to their kitchen window. "Okay." He dropped down to the grass.

"She's not taking this chair. This is my favorite chair."

"Okay," Peeta said slowly.

"Damn women. Take over your damn life."

"Um. Are you all right?"

"You'll see. First, she'll want you to put your paints on the porch. Keep the house clean. Then she'll say why can't you just paint the house, or at least the shutters since they look so terrible and apparently you have all this free time for painting? Then she'll say 'teach the baby to paint' and you'll realize you haven't painted a single canvas in ten years and you can't remember how to anymore and then she'll throw out your favorite easel!" Haymitch dug his nails into the armchair as he spun to shout the last few lines back at the house.

Peeta tried to imagine Katniss caring about keeping her house clean, but it was too foreign an idea. "Effie wants you to paint the shutters?"

Haymitch slumped down. "I like them black," he insisted. "Why should they be navy?"

Peeta frowned at the house. "Navy would suit the blue siding better," he mistakenly said aloud.

"Get out of here," Haymitch glowered.

"Haymitch-"

"You'll see. You're going to be married soon."

Peeta laughed. "I think we have time."

Haymitch didn't laugh. "You'll see."

Peeta stopped laughing.

The telegram arrived that afternoon.

"So...you think they want me to...propose? On the Tour?" Peeta asked Haymitch softly.

"Yeah. That's the game."

"You're sure?" Prim whispered.

"Effie thinks so too," Haymitch told her. She nodded.

Katniss stood up and walked outside. Peeta glanced at her mother, sitting silently on the sofa in the living room, holding a teacup in her frozen hands. "Excuse me." He followed Katniss to the front porch.

She was picking at the grass along the bottom step.

"Katniss?"

"I don't have shoes," she muttered.

"Hunh?"

"I don't have nice shoes. For a wedding."

"Oh. Well, I don't think they have to be nice. I've only been to two weddings, but both times the dress was long. I can't remember her shoes at all. And, um. I could ask Cinna. If he'll get you shoes."

"That would be really nice," she mumbled.

"Okay. I'll ask him. Katniss?"

"I'm not upset. About marrying you."

"Are you sure?"

She smiled. "Yes." She quieted. She took a long, slow breath. He pressed on.

"So what is it?"

"We can't have children," she blurted out.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I needed to tell you that."

"Oh." There was a disappointment there that surprised him. "Um. Why? How do you know-"

Her eyes were wide. "Peeta, the Games. That's what exists for them. And even if they survive when...he...won't want them to. They'll live with those nightmares."

"But..." Peeta was surprised to hear himself arguing. "It would only be one slip. There'd be no tesserae-"

"Prim had one slip. You had four slips." She shook her head. "When you were picked...when you both were picked. I can't go through that again. Not with a child. Not with what Snow has over you."

Peeta sunk down in his seat. Caught up in the nightmares, he hadn't even thought of that. The hatred, the icy rage of the Capital would keep him and Prim as a target for years.

"Prim can't have them either," he realized.

She bit her lip. The painful thought had crossed her mind before. "I'll tell her soon. But I want to give her some time before...she has to know."

He nodded. "I can tell her."

"No," she murmured. "I need to tell her."

"Okay."

They listened to the crickets chirp through the lawn.

The train ride to the Capital dragged on, but Prim and Peeta made it bearable for Katniss to be indoors. She played hide and seek with Prim until she had a flashback of the Arena woods that left her screaming for Rue. Peeta held onto her until he could put her down to nap while Katniss stayed by her side in case she woke from a nightmare.

"Do you have nightmares?" Katniss whispered as Prim twitched in her sleep.

"Yes."

She frowned. "Why don't you...talk about it? You never said..."

He shrugged. "I don't like to remember them. I put them on the canvas-"

"You're still painting them?"

"Shh," he soothed her. "I have to. I have to get them out. But then another image comes back."

Katniss let her head fall back on the pillow beside Prim's blond waves. "It's not fair. You won and you're still not free."

"Katniss, it's okay."

"It's not."

"I have you. It's worth it."

She glanced up at him. Their engagement would happen in less than two weeks. She felt less nervous with him around. She knew she had that in common with Prim.

"She's asleep?" Peeta asked.

Katniss nodded as she stepped into the parlor car. She dragged her hands along the velvet couch, luxuriating in the feel of the foreign fabric.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I wish I could save her from that."

"Peeta, you saved her life. Stop apologizing."

"I know-"

"Stop it." She smiled at him, shaking her head.

"Okay."

"I like this couch."

"Velvet?"

She nodded.

"Maybe Cinna will make you a velvet dress?" he suggested.

"Cinna?"

"Prim's stylist. He's brilliant."

Her eyes brightened. "A velvet dress?"

Peeta nodded. He watched a smile play at her mouth while she ran her palm over the soft material.

"Would you like to sit down?" he laughed, moving over so she could come around the front of the sofa and sit beside him. She tossed herself onto the couch and laughed as she bounced on the firm cushion, rocking Peeta back and forth into her. He steadied her, laughing.

"I'm so glad you're here," he breathed. "Well, not for you. But for me."

"Why?"

"I feel better when you're around," he confessed. "I feel like I know what to do." He saw her confusion. "I just," he coughed, cleared his throat, "I just know whatever I need to do is to keep you safe, so...everything seems simpler. Everything makes sense when you're around."

She shook her head and buried her face in her palms.

"What?" he asked.

"You say such horribly amazing things." Her words were muffled in her palms. "I have no way to tell you what..."

He tugged her hands away from her face. "Just tell me."

"I think, um," she stammered, her face pink. "I think...I think every time you talk I fall in love." She pulled on her sweater sleeves, stretching the cuffs. "That's what I think it feels like. If that makes sense. I don't know what that means, but...yes. That's. Yes."

Peeta stared.

"What? Stop staring," Katniss demanded.

"I-I." He leaned over and kissed her.

She grabbed him and yanked him into her body, hanging onto him while she kissed him back. He pulled back and looked at her dilated pupils.

"Yeah, that's definitely how it feels," she smiled.

He laughed and kissed her again.

When they stood on the stages in the various Districts, Prim always deferred to Peeta. He seemed to know just what to say if the crowd seemed angry or riotous.

District Three was mournfully silent as Prim cried for Gizmo.

Peeta was barely able to speak at the podium in Six as he thanked Jane's family for giving them the book.

Eleven found Rue's grandmother at the foot of the stage, pressing three fingers to her lips and raising her palm to the children, bowed in thanks for Rue's life. Katniss cried for the first time that stop.

She didn't cry when they reached Twelve. She was ready.

Her mother was in the audience, watching. Gale was watching. Peeta's mother was watching. Everyone she knew. Her whole life.

Mayor Undersee presented Prim with flowers and Peeta with a plaque thanking them for representing Twelve, and Peeta found his opportunity.

"Well, Mayor sir, I have another way I'd like to represent this District. Not with a battle, but...with peace. And happiness. And love."

Katniss felt strangely calm.

He turned to her, handing Prim his plaque. She was nearly jumping up and down, watching him kneel before her sister.

"Katniss? Will you make me happy? Forever?" He took her hand in his. "Will you marry me?"

She heard her lips saying the word before the question fell over the Town Square.

"Yes."

"I'm engaged." Katniss stared in the mirror. "I'm getting married."

Prim jumped on her bed. "You're getting married!"

"Stop that, those are new springs."

"Well you won't need this bed anymore, will you?" Prim teased.

"Oh! Oh no, I guess I won't-" Katniss felt warm.

"You're going to marry Peeta and have babies!" Prim squealed and rolled around on the blankets, giggling. Katniss turned to her. She wanted to tell her now, but Prim was so rarely this carefree.

"Prim?"

"Yeah?" The blonde head popped up from under the pillow.

"Are you going to be all right?"

Prim blinked at her.

"I mean...I won't live here. I'll be just next door," she added quickly. "But I won't sleep in the next room. And you...rely...on Peeta. Do you want to live with us?" she rushed.

Prim smiled too wisely for her short years. "No, Katniss."

"But!" Katniss sputtered. "What if you have nightmares?"

"Mom is here," she said softly.

"But...but..."

"Katniss. You don't have to be scared."

"What?" she gasped.

Prim smiled. "I know you think you need to take care of me. And yes, Peeta being around helps a lot. That being said, you'll be two houses away. Plenty close."

"I'm...I just..."

"You're just nervous about being married," Prim grinned. "But I'm sure you don't need to be."

"It's not that!"

"Katniss." Prim smiled again. "It is."

Katniss huffed. "I hate that you know me better than I do."

"Well, I can be objective," Prim laughed. "You're so busy thinking of how you can take care of me that you forget I'm turning thirteen in three weeks."

"You are," Katniss sighed.

"Besides, Mom goes out to work a lot," Prim smiled. "You and Peeta won't have to work, so you'd be home more often. It would be more awkward to have boys over to your house."

Katniss' fist tightened instinctively on her hairbrush. "What boys?! Who?"

Prim burst forth into giggles. "See?"

"Who?"

"I'll never tell!" Prim shouted and ran out of the room pursued by her older sister.

"Girls! Indoor voices!" Mrs. Everdeen called up the stairs, trying to shout over Katniss as she knocked on the locked bathroom door. Prim cackled from the other side. "Katniss, Peeta is here! Come downstairs."

Katniss jogged down the stairs. "Mom, Prim is talking about having boys over!"

"Oh," Mrs. Everdeen smiled. "Is this about Rory again?"

Katniss turned white.

"Hey, Kat," Peeta said from the dining room. "I thought we could work on the guest list. Is there-"

"Rory Hawthorne is not invited to the wedding," Katniss snarled.

"Katniss," sighed Mrs. Everdeen. "He's not going to try anything...funny. I don't think he even knows Prim likes him."

"He better not!"

"So he's back on the list?" Peeta asked, bewildered.

"Yes," Mrs. Everdeen agreed.

"No!"

"Katniss," she warned.

"Fine. Maybe… If there's room."

"It'll be in the meadow at spring, there will be plenty of room," admonished her mother.

Peeta looked at the guest list nervously. "So...yes?"

"Yes," his bride growled.

"No."

The gruff voice brought their eyes to the front door. Haymitch looked exceptionally cross today. Effie was worried as she trailed after him, wiping her impractical shoes on the porch mat.

"What?" Peeta asked.

"You might as well forget your plans," Haymitch said. "You're not getting married here."

"What?" Mrs. Everdeen gasped.

"Well," Effie attempted to sound cheerful. "The president is so...pleased...with your popularity," she squeezed out, "he'd like to host your wedding. In the Capital."

Katniss dropped her teacup. No one moved to pick up the shards.

"When?" Peeta asked.

Effie held up the notice. "Two weeks."

"Two weeks?" Prim's small voice squeaked from the stairs. "How will you have time to plan anything?"

"They're planning it all," Peeta said. He looked up at Haymitch. "They know how they want to present us, so they're taking care to make sure we look how they want us to look."

Haymitch nodded. "It's how it is."

"But we can still do little things!" Effie interjected, albeit despairingly. "I've contacted Cinna and although they've had him start a dress, he refuses to finish until you see it and choose alterations."

"Cinna's making my dress?" Katniss asked incredulously.

"And Portia has your suit ready," Effie assured Peeta. "She's ready to alter it to match Katniss' dress at a moment's notice."

"That's really kind of them."

"They want what's best," Haymitch said. He looked Peeta in the eye. "For all of us."

Peeta nodded.

The knock at his window made Peeta jump a mile. The olive palm pressed against the glass was familiar.

"How did you get up here?" he demanded as he opened his bedroom window.

"Climbed," Katniss said simply, crawling inside.

"I gathered that."

"I don't want to get married there," she said firmly, stepping down into his room and pushing off her boots, still wet with dew. She shook out her nightgown over her feet.

"Me neither," he sighed, closing the window.

"How long do you think we'll have to stay there?"

"What do you mean?"

"After the service," she said, crossing and sitting on his bed and drawing her knees up to her chest. "Will they make us stay there?"

Peeta felt a panic rising. "You mean, keep us there?"

"No," she said quickly. "But now..."

They stared at the floor.

"They can't keep us there," Peeta hoped out loud. "What would they tell everyone? They'll probably just have a stay a day or two. Do some appearances...speeches..."

A fearful pause lapsed in the room.

"I don't want to spend our first night there! How are we supposed to-" Katniss blurted out. She clamped her hand over her mouth and turned red.

"What? Oh!" Peeta felt his neck get warm. "Um. Well. We don't have to wait. Oh! I mean...to get married!" he rushed. He blinked, surprised he'd said it. He slowly realized, "We could do a toasting here."

Katniss stared. "You mean now?"

"Now?" He looked down at his pajamas. "I was thinking next week. Or even tomorrow."

She was quiet for a moment. "We could do it in secret."

"Yeah. Your family, mine, friends. Quiet," he smiled. "Secret."

She nodded. "Thank you." She stood up. "I guess I should..."

"Oh." He crossed to the window.

"But I could...stay."

He froze at the sill.

"Um. I might wake up my mom if I climb up the house," she said, plucking at her nightgown.

He swallowed hard. "I guess you might. Um...did you want...a room?"

She looked up to the ceiling. "It's kind of cold..."

"Or this one?"

She glanced over at his ruffled bed sheets. "That sounds nice."

Peeta thought his knees would buckle as she took three steps to his bed and climbed up onto the mattress.

She looked at him. He stared. "Come over here."

His mouth was dry. "Uh-Why?" he choked.

She dropped her voice and rocked forward on to her knees. "Because...um...well." She gave up and pulled the dress over her head. Her underwear and camisole were very simple, but he could tell she'd picked them out to wear over. She dropped the nightgown onto the floor and looked everywhere before finally looking back up to where he stood frozen. She bit her lip. "Coming to bed?" she whispered.

He ran over and leapt onto the mattress. She laughed and pulled the cord on the lamp.

"Um...I don't want to...all the way," she stumbled in the moonlight. "I just...you know. Since we're..."

He smiled nervously. "You're so bad with words," he said, kissing her lips and pulling her to him.

She smiled against his mouth. "Um. How about second base?"

"Deal, Everdeen."

She stopped kissing him.

"What?"

"Am I still going to be...Everdeen? After we get married?" She blinked at him, his fingers still grasping the hem of his tee shirt.

"Do you want to be?" he asked slowly.

"I don't know," she frowned. "I didn't think...Katniss Mellark?"

"It sounds all right to me," he said carefully, sinking down to the mattress. "But you don't have to be."

"There wouldn't be any more," she said, sliding down to lean on her hip beside him. "Dad had only girls..."

Peeta watched her remember her father. "Keep your name." She looked back to him. He nodded. "It's your father's. Keep it."

"But-"

"I still know you're mine," he smiled, taking her hand and kissing her fingers. "I still know that I love you, and I will protect you always, even without my name stuck to yours."

She shivered as his soft slips trailed over her fingers. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she relished the warm breath against her palm.

"Katniss?" His whisper floated over the pillows to her ears. She opened her eyes and looked down to where he lay.

"Okay, third base."