Notes!

So um, yeah. I figured I'd put the notes on top if this one, I guess. I kinda feel like I should explain myself before people start to think I'm on some sort of drugs. So anywho, I was sticking true to my wacky method of mashing the random button, and today's song was Reel Big Fish - Drunk Again. I tried to remember all the horribly awesome things that I've experienced while enjoying some rather odd beverages, and the sad truth is, I never remember. I'd like to think that I had an awesome conversation with an imaginary friend, but sad truth be told, it was probably a stop sign. Or six. Eheheh...enjoy?

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'Drunk Again'

'What the hell are you doing?'

Rei groaned, pressing a damp hand to her forehead. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

'Pouting like a damn jackass, if you must know.'

"I'm not pouting." she hissed between clenched teeth.

'Coulda fooled me.'

Violet eyes slowly cracked open, and the soldier had to choke back the sob that threatened to tear her soul in two. Same dirty, water stained plaster, same creaking ceiling fan, uh huh. Everything still sucked. Pinpricks of dark memories began to chew at the edge of her subconscious, and she blearily fumbled about the cheap nightstand for her one true savior.

"There you are." Rei mumbled, twisting off the cap and slamming back half of the amber colored liquid without lifting her head off the dingy pillow. God. She wished she had sprung for a nicer room. But desperate times...

'This is pathetic.'

"You're still here?"

'Tch. Think I'd stay if I had a choice?'

"Right." she smiled, but it was dark and empty.

'How long do you plan on doing this?'

"I don't know. Does eternity work for you?"

'Hah. You'll need another bottle by day's end. At this rate, you won't last a week.'

"Maybe that's a good thing." she replied wearily.

'And there she goes again. Angst and drama, cry cry cry.'

Rei fixed an evil glare at the tiny maroon hamster sitting beside her on the cheap mattress. "I should kill you, right now."

'We tried this already, remember? I'm a figment of your imagination. You can't kill me.'

She frowned pensively. "Funny. I don't remember going insane. You'd think a person would remember something like that."

'You're not insane. Well, insanely drunk maybe, but not like crazy insane.'

"When the men in white coats come to haul me away, you can tell them that." The dark haired woman took another swig and pushed herself up slowly, spilling half of her precious bottle in the process.

'Ooh. That went well.'

"Shut the hell up." she snapped icily. The room spun in response, and she had to settle for leaning back against the headboard instead of random acts of violence. "Why the hell would I imagine a hamster of all things?"

Tiny forearms shrugged. 'Don't ask me. Your brain.'

"Right."

'Wanna talk about anything?'

"Yeah. How do you murder an imaginary hamster?"

'Tsk tsk.' Little whiskers wiggled under the dreary half-light. 'You called me out of the dark recesses of your mind to discuss things like that? What does she see in you anyway?'

Her eyes narrowed sharply. "Don't."

'Ohhhh, here we go! Hit a nerve huh?'

"I'm about to hit a bunch of nerves...."

A tiny sigh. Almost a squeak. 'You're pretty slow, huh? So why did you run?'

"I...I don't know."

Her fuzzy mascot scooted closer, and rested a tiny paw on her leg. 'You can tell me, you know. It's not like I could tell anyone.'

"Scared. Mostly."

'Of?'

"Everything." she lifted the bottle to her lips, thought better of it, and lowered it back to her lap. Rei swore she saw a furry smile.

'Good start.'

"Thanks." she responded flatly.

'Go on.'

Tears stung violet eyes. "I died today. We...we all did."

'You've died before. Quite a few times, if I do recall.'

Rei felt a chill run over dulled nerves, and the sensation was highly unpleasant. "Today....it was different."

'How so?'

"Dying hurts, that I knew already, but today," she swallowed hard. "today I felt what it was like to have my very soul ripped out of me. It was the most excruciating thing I've ever experienced. The pain, the darkness, the emptiness, I felt it all, all at once." Her lips suddenly felt very dry, and she could feel her heart seizing in her chest. "But I had to stay strong. For Usagi, so she could win, and bring us back. I could feel my body breaking and dying all around me, but I had to smile, because I knew that I would see them all again, especially..."

Silence from her little companion.

"And when we were brought back, I just knew everything would be different. It couldn't stay the same anymore. You can't feel something like that and just plow on like sunshine and puppies."

'Sunshine and puppies?'

"I'm drunk remember? Shut up."

'Sorry. Sorry. Go on.'

"And there she was, all glowing and perfect, and so beautiful it almost killed me again just to look at her."

'Who, Usagi?'

Rei could only stare at her new found friend in incredulous disbelief. "Now, I know you know better than that."

The creature laughed merrily. 'Sorry. Had to lighten the mood.'

"You're not that bad, as far as hallucinations go."

'Thanks. So, she was beautiful, and perfect, and it was cheesy romance music playing in the background as you ran into each others arms, all slow-motiony like...'

The soldier laughed bitterly. "Hardly. She kissed me, I panicked, and here we are."

'...oh. That's kinda anti-climatic.'

"Sorry to disappoint." she replied. "But when I looked at Minako, like that, I realized that I couldn't do it."

'Do what?'

"The pain." Rei's voice cracked. "After finding out that she truly loved me, I realized that the pain I felt today would be nothing compared to the pain I'd feel if I had to watch her die again."

'So you're telling me you're so scared of loss that it's not even worth a try?'

"Pretty much."

'But you love her, right?'

She smiled, and it light up the entire room. "For years now."

'Right. So, you'd be sad either way, if I understand you correctly. Only, by going this route, you're hurting her, even now. She went through the same thing today that you did, and on top of it, she probably thinks that you hate her.'

"Never."

'Well, that leaves one last question I guess. Is it worth it? Is all this pain really worth the pure moments of happiness you could share with her? Death is inevitable.' Pink ears twitched. 'Especially for you crazy people. But really, if I were you, I'd be doing by best to enjoy everything before I hit the finish line.'

Dark eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You're making too much sense. I don't like it."

'Heh. Sorry, but she probably needs you right now, a lot more than you think she does.' Black eyes flickered over the room. 'And no offense, but this place is the most depressing thing I've ever seen. I'm about ready to kill myself.'

Rei chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully, though her eyes reflected her uncertainty. "You really think it will work?"

'Please. You lunatics are like cockroaches. At this point, I don't even think a nuclear bomb could take you all out. What's a few measly demons compared to that?'

She had to laugh in spite of herself. "Great. So I'm a roach now."

'A drunk roach. A very smelly drunk roach. But hey, sleep it off, and um, a shower would be nice. Then go get the girl of our dreams!'

The soldier arched an eyebrow. "Our?"

'Figment of your imagination. So yes. OUR. And I really don't want to be deprived of such a hot little number.'

"I see."

'Good. I think our time is just about up here. Just remember. One destined parting is a million times better than an eternity of loneliness. And hey, you all are just about immortal, right? I can't think of a better way to spend a lifetime or two. What a hottie.'

Rei opened her mouth to respond, but the world began to grow dark and hazy. When she awoke a few hours later in a dingy motel room, she had three thoughts. One, take a shower. For some ungodly reason, she felt like she had spent the night in Jack Daniels. Two, find Minako, apologize, and confess what she had felt for years. Last, but not least, she had the most insane urge to find a pet store and purchase a hamster. She really couldn't understand why, she had always found them to be rather creepy little rodents, but something inside her apparently thought it wouldn't be such an awful idea.

A hamster. Weird.

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Song : Reel Big Fish - Drunk Again

I'm glad everyone is enjoying the demented little playground that is my fics. To Major Mike Powell III, I am working on your request. Quite an interesting song, we'll see where it goes. Woot, I feel like a DJ. I should hold like an all request Friday or something. XD