Look who's back and totally not dead!~

DISCLAIMER: I, Love Muffin Of Doom, do not claim ownership to Katekyo Hitman Reborn whatsoever! If I did I would take Tsuna to get a pretty hard-core tattoo to make him manlier. =D

'Holy Shit! I am going to die! This is the end! Hibari's going to kill me dead!' Was the only thought going through Mei's head as she dashed down the abandoned street.

She had done it; the auburn haired girl had finally managed to piss Hibari off enough that he was coming after her, no doubt with the intention to kill and or maim.

The tiny girl whipped her head around and paled as she saw the tall figure of Hibari turn around the corner, calmly walking towards her. Although, if anyone were to come to close to the 'calm' man, before he would notice the aura of rage surrounding the 'Demon of Namimori' a tonfa would be introduced to his face.

Mei was not fooled by Hibari's calm outward appearance and that was why she was running away from him as fast as she could, it was no use though. As soon as she thought she had lost Hibari and paused to pant for breath, the menacing figure would turn around the bend causing the green eyed girl to panic and break out into another sprint only to stop again shortly after her burst of speed. The small girl decided that she really needed to get more in shape, in case running from a livid Hibari became an everyday occurrence.

After nearly an hour of this 'cat and mouse' game the poor girl was completely out of breath. And she had lost her shoes in the process, those poor, flimsy shoes were just not made for high speed chases, and so Mei had ditched them. She didn't see why Hibari was still following her though, it's not like she did anything too bad, and it definitely wasn't bad enough to warrant him coming after her with murderous intent!

However somewhere in the back of her mind Mei acknowledged the fact that she really needed to get more in shape, she was running at full speed, Hibari was only walking but was still managing to catch up to her, that was just pathetic. And now because of her unfitness Hibari was going to murder her.

But Hibari's face as he turned towards Mei when he realized that she had dyed all of his white clothing pink and had replaced all of his boxers with bright pink, ice-cream and Hello Kitty print briefs was a look that would send Chuck Norris himself into a death faint.

Mei found that she barely survived the glare herself and for once in her life she listened to common sense, which told her that the only thing to do at this stage was to run as fast as she could away from the wrathful Hibari.

'But Hibari deserved it!' Mei argued with herself while running. 'He was being more mean than usual; I don't see why he was so mad about it anyway. Those underwear I got for him were really cute!'

She said 'were' because said pink underwear didn't last more than a second in Hibari's grasp. Mei doubted they would be even recognizable now after the rampage the violate black haired man went on.

Realizing that she was slowing down, and Hibari was catching up. Mei begged her sore, jelly legs to move faster and was granted a brief spurt of speed as she raced around yet another corner. Green eyes widened in alarm as Mei realized that she was about to crash into a redheaded guy who looked a couple years younger than her.

Arm's flailed in an attempt to stop herself, and the redhead who was wearing glasses opened his mouth as he noticed a small girl flying towards him waving her arms about violently. He clutched his box tighter to his chest and tried to brace himself for impact, he was intelligent enough to realize that all of the girl's floundering was not going to keep her from running into him.

By the time the two of them were inches apart, the auburn haired girl finally realized that the two of them were going to crash into each other, and she couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy. After all, Hibari was going to catch up to them, and this poor guy was most likely also going to suffer Hibari's wrath as well as her.

As the two collided several things happened at once, first; the little red-haired teen dropped the box he was carrying, Mei tripped over the box causing a strange object to fall onto her and explode, and Hibari turned the corner just in time to see that infernal herbivore disappear in a puff of vaguely familiar pink smoke.

Steel eyes narrowed even further as he realized what had just occurred. That idiotic herbivore; Shouichi had dropped ammunition from the Ten Year Bazooka onto the other pathetic herbivore that he was about to bite to death. Now the tiny plant- eater was most likely (one could never be too sure with Gianinni around) propelled ten years into the future only to be replaced by her older self for five minutes (again providing the damn mechanic hadn't given the red-head 'new prototypes').

Steel eyes narrowed at the glasses wearing boy, who immediately - after realizing what he had done to 'Hibari-san's newest victim' – backed away in fear from the glowering Japanese man who was slowing approaching the silhouette that was covered by quickly dissipating pink smoke.

Light coughing noises came from the smoke and a tiny, pale hand reached out of the pink cloud only to start waving the smoke away.

The first thing to be visible out of the smoke was a full head of darker auburn, wet hair that framed a very flushed, recognizable face.

A slender black eyebrow was raised at the slight.

Shouichi stared, eyes steadily growing wider as the pink smoke fading into nothing. Bare shoulders gave way to a dripping, bare chest and before the poor red-head could look up and see Hibari's 'Glare of Pure Rage' tm directed at him, he registered something very warm and sticky dripping down his chin. His vision then promptly turned black and the poor teenager fainted dead away.

By then it was obvious that the future Mei was stark naked and dripping wet. Large green eyes scanned the deserted street bewilderedly but lit up as soon as they fell on the tall, glowering figure of Hibari.

"Kyouya!" The naked woman burst out, as she slowly stood up and moved towards the black haired man.

Meanwhile Hibari stood stock still, staring at the figure of his herbivore wife. She hadn't changed much, he supposed, she was still as tiny as ever. A few of her freckles had disappeared though and her hair was different. He had absolutely no idea if the little idiot always looked like that without her clothes. But when on earth did that stupid herbivore get that tattoo?

There, right on the side of the approaching Mei's hipbone was a small tattoo of a cartoon hedgehog. Hibari found that he actually didn't mind the look of it all that much.

"Herbivore," Hibari growled lowly in his throat at the very naked, very wet woman who was standing in front of him with a large cheeky smile on her face. "You're disturbing the peace."

"Eh?" A puzzled look crossed the older woman's face before she looked down and her eyes widened in realization. "Oh! Right!" Mei exclaimed before getting a thoughtful look on her face, sighing and sending a rather dry look at the man towering over her before remarking slowly: "Well, there goes my virginity."

Hibari found that he had nothing to say in response.

18-18-18

"Wow, this is actually really pretty!" Mei said softly to herself as she was propelled through a tunnel of bright multicolours.

She had no idea what was going on, and she supposed she should really be at least a little frightened, after all something had just fallen on her and exploded! But living with her perpetually grumpy husband had taught her to expect the unexpected and the completely out-there, weird stuff. She was just happy to be getting away from the murderous Hibari and hoped he would be at least a little more calm by the time she got back from wherever she was going.

Suddenly the colours stopped coming and blurred together into a bright light. Mei heard a faint splash that sounded incredibly far away and suddenly her clothes felt completely drenched. The small girl almost started to panic - thinking she was going to drown – before she realized she could breathe just fine. There was an abundance of pink smoke surrounding her and the bewildered girl immediately started coughing while frantically waving her hands around in the air in an attempt to clear the air.

She closed her eyes to keep the smoke away but upon opening them again she came face to face with…

"Hibari-papa? What are you doing here? And why do you look so young?" Mei questioned looking at the man directly in front of her – leaning uncomfortably close to her - who looked exactly like Hibari-papa except he was only in his late twenties, and he was not smiling. In fact he looked exactly like an older Hibari-san, scowl, cold eyes and all.

"Do not compare me to my father."

Green eyes widened in realization.

"EHHH? Hibari-san! What are you doing in a bubble bath?" Mei exclaimed, suddenly realizing her surroundings and who was in front of her. The now soaked auburn haired girl had her back against the wall of an extremely large bathtub and Hibari – sans shirt – was sitting amongst the bubbles with her. A giggle escaped her lips and Hibari raised an eyebrow at her.

"You just look so silly taking a bubble bath! I thought you were all manly and everything but-" Here the green eyed girl stopped her explanation to let another burst of giggles out not even noticing that Hibari look anything but amused. "Seriously Hibari-san, why on earth would you take a bubble bath?"

A slow smirk made its way across the older Hibari's face and Mei found herself to be disturbed by Hibari's smile. "Hibari-san, please don't smile! It looks really weird."

A slight glare was sent in the tiny girl's direction and Mei immediately tried to back away only to be reminded that her back was against the side of the bathtub, it was then that the small girl desperately hoped that this Hibari had no memories of her dye and his clothes, and even if he did she wished he wasn't still mad about it. But just in case, the frightened girl quickly began to climb out of the bathtub, in an attempt to escape the man in front of her and his scary smile.

Before she could even get one foot out of the tub a large hand grabbed the front of her shirt and Mei found herself being yanked back into the water and straight into Hibari very naked chest.

Mei's very startled screech was muffled by the fact that her face was pressed very firmly into this strange Hibari's chest, one of his large hands was gripping the back of her head, and the small girl was distressed to discover that she couldn't pull away from him.

A tug on the collar of Mei's shirt startled her, the large hand that was in her hair yanked her hair causing her head to tilt to the side. Mei let out a yelp.

"Hibari-san!" the bewildered girl whined, Mei looked up at Hibari and her green eyes met his stormy ones. Mei stuck her lips out in a pout as she saw the sadistic looking smirk this older looking Hibari had on his face.

'That jerk, he's enjoying my pain! I'm not sorry at all for dying his clothes pink! In fact I-'

Yet another yelp escape Mei lips as two of Hibari's long fingers skirted past the collar of her pink, Hello Kitty Shirt – worn just to piss Hibari off – and pulled, the result was a loud ripping sound that echoed through the silent bathroom.

The hand that was still fisted in her hair harshly yanked Mei's wet hair back so that she was looking up at the older, more frightening version of her husband who currently had the scariest, most intense look poor Mei had ever seen directed at her. But the tiny girl slowly realized that the man holding her captive wasn't looking at her face. Instead he was looking intently at poor Mei's neck, Hibari's steely eyes narrowed and Mei paled; it was never a good thing when Hibari narrowed his eyes, and she supposed she was dead considering the strange expression on his pale face.

Another surprised gasp sounded throughout the bathroom as Hibari applied more pressure to her poor, pink shirt and the light material could not deal with the abuse and split in two. A blush immediately spread across the girl's cheeks.

Mei had never seen Hibari look so pleased before, and if she thought she was frightened earlier, she was terrified now!

Long, familiar fingers wrapped slowly around the auburn haired girl's neck. A low growl sounded in Hibari's throat and Mei jumped in surprise and a good deal of fear. The tiny girl then decided that she didn't like this new, strange Hibari very much at all, he was way too touchy-feely compared to the popsicle-up-butt Hibari she was used to.

"I haven't taken you yet, have I." Hibari remarked, rather than stated as he inspected her unmarked, pale neck. Mei wondered if it was right for her to feel quite disturbed as his hands left her hair and neck just to travel down her torso and grab a hold of her hips. The poor girl's face flushed an even brighter red then before.

"Drugs are bad for you Hibari-san!" Mei blurted out as the hands on her hips dragged her forward and situated her on the black haired man's lap. Drugs were the only possible explanation Mei could think of for Hibari's strange actions.

"Idiot." Was all Hibari had to say as he lowered his face uncomfortably close to Mei's.

Green eyes widened drastically, and Mei was looking increasingly alarmed as realization suddenly set in. "H-Hibari-san, a-are you n-naked…?" Her eyes had never widened quite that wide before as the fact that Hibari was taking a bath; naked and the fact that she was sitting on that said naked man sunk in. By now Mei's face was disturbingly red, and was so hot it felt like her face was about to explode. Both of Mei's hands flew to press against the firm chest in front of her, but she couldn't muster up the courage to attempt to push him away.

A very scary-looking smirk from the very naked man (whose lap she was still sitting on) was the only reply the distressed eighteen year old got to her stuttered question before her chin was taken in a very strong grip and her face was dragged the rest of the short distance to Hibari's face.

Mei was barely able to drag in a quick, startled breath before her lips were claimed by Hibari's very forceful very demanding ones.

Again, green eyes widened to the size of saucers and her body went completely stiff in shock, only to gasp and squirm when she was lifted up onto the side of the bathtub with Hibari settled between her legs; her husband's lips never leaving Mei's.

Mei wasn't exactly sure what she was supposed to be doing right now. But when Hibari's teeth bit down on her lip, breaking the skin and she felt his tongue gliding over her now bleeding lip before slipping inside her mouth she did the one thing she could think of after someone just bit her; bite back and bite back hard. Soon after snapping her teeth shut over Hibari's invading tongue she tasted a sharp metallic taste in her mouth and felt rather horrified when she realized she had broken the skin.

Hibari's lips were quickly removed from Mei's bruising ones and the molested girl jumped at the sound of Hibari's less-than-pleased growl, she couldn't believe that she had actually bit the scariest man she knew because he was trying to kiss her, but she knew that the consequences for her actions was most likely death.

Before Mei was even able to think about begging for her life, she realized that Hibari was not actually killing her. However, before she could contemplate why that was a strangled mix of a gasp and a moan tore out of her lips and something wet slowly ran up the side of her neck causing yet another gasp to escape the bewildered girl.

"Hibari-san, w-what are you doing?" Mei whispered to the dark haired man, who face was currently buried in her neck as his fingers played with the edges of her exposed bra.

Her bright orange bra was gone before the poor girl could even complain about that fact that Hibari wasn't answering her question. However Mei decided that it was a pretty good idea to assume that Hibari was one of those men who believed that actions spoke louder than words.

Small hands pushed at Hibari's shoulders as Mei tried to get this scary man away from her neck and facing her. A sharp pain rippled up her neck in response and she let out a startled scream as Hibari's teeth pierced her skin.

"OUCH! HIBARI-SAN!" Mei yelled out, her face that had slightly regained a more normal colour turned a brighter red than a tomato as she tried to kick the man off of her.

Hibari's only response was to hook his fingers around the waistband of the small girl's shorts – his mouth still latched onto her neck – and pulled. Mei let out a distressed whine as the waistband snapped and her black shorts went lax around her hips revealing the top of her cherry red panties.

She felt her sadistic husband smirk against her neck in response before pulling away and staring down at Mei a small bit of blood on his lips.

Mei whimpered as she felt something warm drip down from her neck in a sluggish stream. Slapping a hand to her neck, Mei winced as she looked at her hand to see it stained with blood, not much blood, but still.

"You bit me!" shrieked the tiny girl in outrage. "Why wo-"

Forceful lips covered her own bruised ones in yet another harsh kiss, full of teeth and tongue before Mei felt a large hand fist her hair and her auburn strands received a particularly harsh tug which dragged her face away from Hibari's. He let her go with a (Seductive? Mei couldn't help but wonder) lick to her broken lips.

Gasping for breath and trying to ignore the heat she felt on her face, Mei slowly looked up at Hibari who was still giving her that strange and scary smile of his. His long fingers stroked her cheek and he loomed over Mei's tiny form.

"Time's up Mei." A low growl sound in Mei's ear.

Before Mei could wonder what in the world Hibari meant. The soaked girl let out a yelp as sharp teeth closed around the top of her ear and gave her a sharp bite just as pink smoke suddenly encompassed Mei. She felt a pull similar to the one she felt right after she crashed into the small red-headed boy and ended up in this bathtub with a strange Hibari.

As the pretty, bright colours started flashing around Mei hoped that when, and if she got back – for all she knew Mei could have very well been going to a completely other world with an even stranger Hibari – that Hibari was not waiting for her just so that he could murder his wife in cold blood as soon as she returned to her reality.

A very harsh landing on a very hard floor interrupted Mei from her worried thoughts and she immediately started coughing again because of the pink smoke that seem to accompany the light bang she was hearing.

After blinking very hard several times, the still dripping-wet girl looked up to see the more familiar form of her husband. Except something seemed to be very wrong with this picture, she was pressing Hibari up against a wall and what was even more disturbing was the fact that if you were as close to Hibari's face as Mei was you would be able to see a faint – almost non-existent – blush barely dusting his pale cheeks.

Even before Hibari could push off this herbivore who was stupid enough for thinking she could dominate him Mei stumbled and fell back and onto the floor at his feet.

Mei looked up at Hibari in a mixture of fear and shock, what on earth was he doing pinned under her and was he going to kill her now? As panicked thoughts of death swam through the poor girl's head she felt something warm and sticky make its way down her neck and Mei quickly slapped her hand over the source of the bleeding. Timidly looking up at Hibari she noticed that she had covered her wound too late, steely gray eyes were focused solely on her neck.

"Herbivore what is that on your neck?" Mei was frozen in place as the tall man stalked towards her, she wasn't quite sure whether running would save her or not.

Not realizing that Hibari's already short patience was wearing thin with her lack of response, Mei continued to contemplate the pros and cons of running away.

Mei was violently thrown out of her thoughts as her hand that was covering the bite wound on her neck was grasped and torn away from her neck. Startled green eyes looked up at Hibari towering above her only to see that his gaze was still only focused on the sluggishly bleeding mark on her neck.

"Who bit you?" Hibari growled out his free hand angling Mei chin so he could have a better look at the very violent-looking mark.

Realizing that there was absolutely no way she could run from Hibari now she stuttered out. "Um, I think you bit me Hibari-san! And it really hurt! It wasn't a very nice thing to do at all! You can't just go around biting people that's not very clean!" Having realizing that yelling at Hibari was probably not going to help matters any she quickly clamped her mouth shut.

Steely eyes narrowed and bored into Mei's green ones for a minute which simply blinked back up at him.

"Tch," Hibari let go of the Herbivore's hand and chin and moved to go before something on the girl's hip caught his attention. It was the little cartoon tattoo of a hedgehog that he had seen on her future self, and Hibari found that he approved of this particular body modification. Seeing as she must have some sort of affection for the small animals the tiny girl was not as completely hopeless as he previously thought.

With that he turned away and moved away from Mei stepping over the still fallen body of Shouichi as he walked.

Realizing Hibari was about to leave her there in the middle of the street, Mei quickly scrambled to her feet and stumbled after his retreating form.

"Wait up Hibari-san!"

Hibari spared a look over his shoulder at the form of the young girl scrambling after him and fought the urge to roll his eyes.

Mei breathed a sigh of relief as the Japanese man stopped walking and instead stood in the middle of the abandoned road staring at her.

"Why are you staring at me like that Hibari-san?" Mei questioned the odd look that was painting the black haired man's face.

Suddenly Mei felt something warm being draped over her shoulders, it was Hibari's coat; way too big for her, ending half-way down Mei's thighs and the sleeves tumbling far past her tiny hands.

"Idiot," Hibari snarled, "walking around nude is a disturbance of the peace."

Mei's face didn't know whether to go pale from horror of bright red due to pure mortification. With all the confusion and switching environments the poor girl had forgotten the fact that the other Hibari had divested her of not only her shirt, but her bra as well and she had somehow lost her shorts (the waistband had been snapped –thanks to Hibari) in the whole process.

Realizing that she had just be parading around practically naked in front of someone like Hibari, and whoever else was around, her face combusted into a brilliant red and she clung onto the jacket around her before remembering exactly how she had lost her clothing.

"Hibari-san!" Mei burst out suddenly, "How dare you! That was my favourite bra!" the tiny girl raged at the taller man, neither realizing nor particularly caring that this Hibari wasn't the Hibari would had ripped off her clothes. But he was a Hibari and that meant he was just as guilty in her eyes.

Undeterred Mei rampaged on. "I don't care how amazing you think you are, you can't just go randomly ripping shirts off innocent people! And don't even get me started on how mean it is to destroy someone's bra! It was my favourite and you completely-"

"Shut up Idiot Herbivore." And with that and a very firm hand to the back of the jacket covering Mei accompanied by a harsh tug, Mei was effectively shut up. However she was more than determined to pout about all the harsh treatment she was receiving and sulked along as Hibari dragged her by the collar.

As the two of them walked down the streets (any one walking down the road would definitely look twice upon seeing the strange looking couple) Mei was suddenly stuck by a very strange thought and as such decided to voice it aloud.

"Hey Hibari-san, why was I pinning you to the wall earlier?"

The black haired man suddenly froze and his left eye started twitching almost unnoticeably, Mei however continued on, not noticing the painfully obvious warning signs.

"Does that mean that despite all of your controlling 'I'm all powerful' antics, you really like being controlled?"

Cold steely eyes filled with irritation were turned in the babbling girl's direction with barely controlled fury. Mei didn't notice anything.

"Does that mean you're secretly an uke?" With that Mei finally turned to look at Hibari and green eyes suddenly widened in fear at the look of rage on the Japanese man's face. Realizing that Hibari still had his hand clasped around the collar of her only covering and because of that she couldn't run away – there was no way she was going to take off running down the streets in only her panties, no way – Mei practically threw herself back and was rewarded by a sharp tearing sound. The auburn haired girl fell back and Hibari was only left with the collar of his jacket and his quickly rising anger.

"Herbivore," Hibari growled low in his throat as Mei struggled to her feet, a look of terror on her face. "I will bite you to death!"

"AHHHHHhHHHHHH!"

And so the day ended in almost the same way as it began, with a murderous Hibari chasing after a terrified Mei. The only differences were that Mei was sufficiently less clothed, quite damp and had a sluggish stream of blood travelling down her neck originating from a rather bad bite wound that had not been there when she woke up. And Hibari was missing his jacket, revealing the fact that the front of his shirt was slightly damp, an aura of rage was still surrounding him and he still looked ready to kill, but if one ignored all that and looked closely you would be able to see the tiniest, barest hint of colour painting his usually pale cheeks as he clutched a ripped coat collar in his hand alongside his tonfa.

A/N: Well would ya look at that, I'm not dead after all!~ Sorry I know it's been ages, but I made the chapter a little longer and put in some fluffy stuff. Am I forgiven now? ^_^

I know you guys probably don't give a damn about my excuses but I was in Taiwan for ages and didn't really have time to write anything. And when I got back I had some family issues to attend to and so writing wasn't the first thing on my mind (I know, shame on me right? =P).

Well I hope I didn't lose any readers and that everyone enjoyed this chappie!~

Everyone loves reviews~

~Love and Coffee~

Love Muffin (Of Doom)