A/N: Thank you as usual to BellaMadonna and littleclarestar for their awesomesauce beta skills and continual support. Thank you to Juliamine for her Twilighted validation.
Also, to my ladies over on twitter for their endless support as well. I heart you all.
If you have a twitter, and aren't following me, you should! I post lots of Robporn and occasional teasers. =) Link to my Twitter on my profile.
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I just made Bella blind, Edward an adorable frat guy, Emmett a wee bit overprotective and Carlisle a bit of an asshole.
Chapter 10 – Falling
I don't know but
I think I maybe fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should keep this to myself
Waiting 'til I know you better
I am trying not to tell you
But I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head
I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
and now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm falling for you
I'm falling for you
- Colbie Caillat
EPOV
My fingers floated over the ivory keys without any instruction from my brain, melodies drifting around me like the soft caress of Bella's fingertips on my skin. I closed my eyes, a shiver running through my body from the emotions evoked by that recent memory.
I smiled as an image of Bella's beautiful face pushed itself into my mind. Her face was the perfect backdrop to the notes that surrounded me.
I'd woken up this morning with an uncontrollable need to compose, to get out the melodies drifting around in my head; melodies inspired by Bella. My piano was at my parent's house, my father refusing to move it into my apartment – saying it would pose too much of a distraction to my " far more important" studies - so I had to settle and use my keyboard instead.
I wasn't sure how long I'd been playing, time always seemed irrelevant when I became absorbed in music, but it had to have been close to two hours.
My musical muse was cruelly interrupted by the shrill ringing tones emanating from my cell phone.
With a heavy sigh, I got up from the chair and headed in the direction of the trilling cell phone. 'Alice' flashed across the screen and I automatically smiled.
"Good morning sister, dear."
"Good morning sweet jack-ass brother of mine," she responded sweetly.
"Jackass? That's not the wonderful greeting I'd been expecting."
"Well that's the greeting you get when you don't call to fill in your nosey, yet totally amazing, older sister with the dirty deets of the amazingly awesome date she helped you plan."
I couldn't help but laugh as I listened to the words fly out of her mouth at hyper-speed.
"First of all, Alice, when have I ever filled you in on 'the dirty deets' of my dates?" I couldn't help rolling my eyes.
"When have you even last been on a date, Edward?" she asked pointedly. She had me there. "So are you going to tell me how it went, or what?
I knew she wouldn't let me off the phone until I told her all about it, so there was no sense in fighting the inevitable. So, I told her. How it'd been more successful than I could have ever planned and how I was finding myself in far deeper than I would have ever imagined myself being. I left out the information about Bella's exploration of my face and the two kisses we shared, because that shit was private and not something I wanted to share with my nosy sister.
It was, though, somehow a relief to talk to someone about Bella and the sudden intensity of the emotions I'd been feeling.
"Aww, my little brother is in love," Alice sang teasingly.
"I am not in love, Alice!" I protested. "I've known her for two weeks!" The fact she would even say that was completely ridiculous. It was impossible to fall in love with someone you'd known for such a short period of time. Wasn't it?
"Time means nothing when it comes to matters of the heart," she chided me. "Besides, you've never even been in love. So how would you know?" she questioned, in her 'all-knowing' voice.
"I loved Tanya," I told her, not at all convincingly. I knew I was lying. I didn't love Tanya. I never really had. I'd always thought I had. But since meeting Bella, I knew. Tanya was my first girlfriend, and we had got together during sophomore year of high school, remaining that way until we got to college where things got really fucked up during our first semester.
"You did not love that whore," Alice snarled, the phone doing little to disguise her disgust.
"Alice!"
"Well, you didn't. And she was a whore," she reiterated angrily. "You know I hate that fucking bitch and always have," she muttered. "She nearly ruined your entire life!"
"Don't be so dramatic, Alice. She didn't nearly ruin my life," I told her, not really wanting to discuss that particularly fucked up time of my life. I avoided Tanya at all costs. Being part of my fraternity's sister sorority, I unfortunately saw more of her than I bargained for. But Tanya was the last thing I wanted to talk about with my sister. I didn't want to ruin the good mood I was in by speaking about my past fuck-ups. "So anyway…"
"So back to the topic at hand,' Alice took my hint and moved back to our original subject. "Bella!" she said emphatically. "When do I get to meet her?"
I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers in sibling frustration and groaned audibly. "I don't know, Alice. Forgive me for not wanting to subject her to your special brand of crazy."
"Well, just don't make it too long. I want to meet this girl who's managed to wrap my little brother around her finger," she said. I could hear the smirk in her voice. "Plus, you probably want me to meet her before you introduce her to Mom and Dad."
"Alice…," I warned, hoping to God she hadn't said anything to our parents about Bella yet.
"Relax, Edward. I didn't tell Mom and Dad anything about Bella," she insisted. "But you can't expect to hide her away. You know Mom is entirely too perceptive about things like this. She's definitely going to notice a change in you. Christ, I can already see a change in your disposition. Esme is going to eat that shit right up."
Damn, I knew she was right. My mother was like a vulture.
"Just give me time to figure out what this even is," I said, running my fingers through my hair, trying to release some of my anxiety. My sister could be incredibly intense; she did take after our mother after all.
"Yeah, yeah," she muttered. "Anyway, speaking of Mom and Dad, I just left their house after having brunch with them. Mom was upset you couldn't make it, by the way," I just nodded my head, as if she could see me. I didn't need say anything; I knew she'd keep talking. "Dad started interrogating me about whether or not I knew anything about how the semester ended for you. So don't be surprised if he calls you later."
Great. I groaned loudly. Just how I wanted to spend my Sunday afternoon: anticipating and then participating in the inevitable fight with my father. My post-date buzz was most definitely ruined. "Thanks for the heads up, Al."
"No problem lil' bro."
"Alice, will you please stop calling me your 'little brother'. I'm like three times your size."
"You'll always be my little baby brother," she teased. I could tell she was smiling on the other end. Even though I couldn't see her, the smile was contagious.
Alice and I talked for a little bit longer before she made me promise to not wait too long before we got together and ended the call.
I spent the rest of the early afternoon lounging around my apartment and coordinating my summer schedule. While I already knew that my father expected me to volunteer at the hospital and study for the MCAT, I had also been approached by a few guys in my Art of Music course about jamming with them and attending a few gigs. They had formed a band a few months ago, but their guitarist bailed on them for a summer trip to Europe after they'd already committed to routine gigs around the area for the entire summer. They were apparently enthusiastic to have me and I'd agreed almost immediately. I had been completely ecstatic when they asked. This was exactly the kind of thing I lived for. I'd played in public before but I'd never been part of a band. It had always been for recitals or open-mic-nights at coffee houses. Now every Thursday evening I'd be part of a band, playing music for other people. Nothing made me happier.
Except the idea of Bella being there to hear me play.
I also spent a good portion of the afternoon staring at my phone, trying to decide when it would be okay to call Bella. I didn't want to call her too early, but I also didn't want to wait too long and make her think I'd forgotten about her or that I didn't want to see her again. Because truthfully, I really wanted to see her again - And soon!
The idea of seeing Bella again soon made me smile again and I could feel my heart beating faster from the thought. Just as I made the decision to call her, my phone started ringing, starling me and jolting me up off the coach. I reached for phone, hoping it was her deciding to call me first.
As soon as I glanced at the display, the smile immediately fell from my face. It wasn't 'Bella' flashing across the screen, but instead 'Dad'.
Knowing I couldn't avoid him forever, I decided to just answer the call and deal with him now.
"Hello."
"Good afternoon, Edward," my father's gruff voice filtered through the phone. "Your mother was disappointed that you couldn't join us this morning for brunch."
Immediately starting in on something negative. So what else was new?
"Tell her I'll come by this week for dinner," I told him, hoping that would appease him for now. He hummed in response, and silence lingered through the phone for what was probably the longest five seconds of my life.
"Tell me Edward, how did your classes finish up?"
"Good," I answered and I could practically see him rolling in his eyes at me through the phone at my lack of details.
"Grades?"
"Not posted until next week."
"You'll send me a copy of your grade report?"
"I always do."
"You've signed up for the MCAT course, I presume?"
"Yes, I already got the check from Mom."
"I've arranged for you to begin volunteering at the hospital next week. I figured you might enjoy at least one week of freedom before starting your busy summer."
"How kind of you," I muttered sarcastically. If he heard the sarcastic tone, he chose to ignore it and continued speaking.
"You'll volunteer two days in the pediatric ward and one day in the ER. I wanted to make sure you had experience with emergency situations. Monday and Wednesday's in pediatrics and Friday's in the ER. You'll begin promptly at ten in the morning, and stay until they no longer need you. I anticipate until at least seven in the evening -."
"Wait, you already arranged all this? Without bothering to ask me what other kinds of plans I have?" I asked in disbelief. His audacity never ceased to amaze me.
"What other plans do you have that are more important than your future?" I could hear the coolness in his tone.
"I already have a commitment on Wednesday afternoons," I answered, not wanting him to ask what that commitment was because I knew my response would not go over well with him.
"What might that commitment be?" he asked with an incredulous tone.
"I have band practice," I mumbled in response.
"Band practice?!" He nearly spat the words "Is this some kind of joke?"
I felt the anger begin to boil up under my skin. I didn't want to do this but I was tired of him treating my music like it was nothing.
"Yes, band practice. Some guys in my music course asked me to be a part of the band and we have practice Sunday and Wednesday afternoons with gigs on Thursday evenings. I've already made the commitment. I'm not backing out now," I told him firmly, refusing to let my confidence wane and let him take this decision away from me.
He let out a derisive laugh and I rolled my eyes, throwing myself down on my couch and pinching the bridge of my nose.
"That is not a commitment. What is more important: Your future or this band that will get you no where in life?" I could hear the anger rolling through his words.
"It's important to me. Why can't you see how important it is and just accept it? Why can't you just accept that music is a part of my future," I seethed into the phone.
"Don't take that tone with me, son," he barked out, his voice getting louder as he spoke, "You know exactly why I don't accept it and why I refuse to let you ruin your life over something as silly as music."
I grinded my teeth together as I clenched my jaw closed tightly. I really had to bite back all the things I wanted to say or to just tell him to 'fuck off'.
"You are going to be at the hospital Monday, Wednesday and Friday's. I don't care what you have to do to make it happen, but you are going to make it happen."
"Fine. Are we done?" I asked through gritted teeth.
"For now."
Not even bothering to tell him good-bye, I simply hung up the phone and threw it down on the floor. A loud frustrated growl ripped from my throat as I tugged at my hair. I stood up and began pacing back and forth in an attempt to calm myself down. He always did this. I should be used to him diminishing my love of music down to nothing, acting like it was meaningless. Yes, I did know why he felt that way, but I thought it was completely irrational. He was arrogant and couldn't get over things that happened in the past. The rest of us could, for the most part, so why couldn't he?
Abruptly, I picked up the phone and dialed the only person I knew who could calm me in this moment.
"Hello?"
I closed my eyes and relished in the sweet tone of her voice, as it instantly floated over my body and soothed my aching soul.
"Hi," I breathed out, one side of my mouth lifting up into a crooked smile.
"Well good afternoon, handsome," she replied, her voice light and cheery.
"What are you doing for dinner? I'd really like to see you," I blurted out, not caring that my need to see her right now was overriding my brain-to-mouth filter.
She let out a tiny laugh that made my heart sputter. "I don't have any plans. I'd love you to see you."
I let out a sigh of relief. "Can I pick you up in a two hours?"
"That sounds perfect."
:-:-:-:
BPOV
I'd woken up in the morning with a smile so wide I thought my face would crack. I'd been wandering around the house all morning, and most of the early afternoon, feeling like part of Disney movie. It felt as though at any moment birds would come floating through my window and all the forest animals would gather around and we would sing a song about love and my prince would finally ride up on his white horse to carry me away.
It was a little crazy, and a little cheesy, but I couldn't help the feeling.
My heart practically burst out of my chest as I went over my memories of the previous night. It had been so perfect. I couldn't have asked for anything better.
Edward never ceased to amaze me. I'd convinced myself he was too good to be true. I had been more than lucky to find him. I wasn't going to question my good fortune; but instead embrace it for what it was.
Perfect.
The whole night had been magical, despite my mini-meltdown. I had tried to prepare myself for the possibility that Edward knew everything. Emmett wasn't one to hold things back what needed to be said, and he'd made the right call in telling Edward everything about our parents and the crash. But that didn't make it any less difficult to think or talk about. As strong as I appeared, and even felt most of the time, I still had my moments of weakness; times where I wanted to do nothing but cry and morn the loss of four of the most important people in my life. I was grateful to have Emmett and Rosalie in my life, but they couldn't replace my parents, or grandparents; no one could.
Edward had taken my mini-breakdown in stride, never once seeming uncomfortable with my tears. I'd been surprisingly comfortable letting them flow out in front of him as well. Instead of backing away from me, he had pulled me into his strong arms and enveloped me into his warmth.
Nothing had ever felt as good as being in Edwards arms, nothing.
I let out a contented sigh at the memory.
I paused my thought process for a moment. Ummm… Maybe there was one thing that felt better than being in Edward's arms.
His lips on mine!
I had to steel myselfnot let out a squeal at the emotions the memory of his lips and the feelings they had evoked inside of me. When he told me he wanted to kiss me, I thought I was going to pass out, my heart pounding in my chest to the beat of the panic inside me. Before I knew it, I was nodding my head and telling him I might be bad at it.
Who says that??
He didn't seem to mind though and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect first kiss. His lips were soft and gentle, but I could almost taste the hunger he felt; that I felt too. Being with Edward evoked feelings and desires that were both frightening and exhilarating all at the same time. I felt like a new part of me was awakening, one that was ready for adventure and exploration, to finally live.
I continued to think about the previous night, remembering my fingertips exploring his face. I couldn't believe I'd had the guts to ask him if I could touch his face. The words had flown out of my mouth before I'd even realized I'd been saying them. The curiosity I held about his appearance was sometimes overwhelming. I knew he had to be beautiful, no one with a voice as smooth and sexy as his could belong to anything but an incredibly attractive man. I felt heat flood throughout my body as the memory of my fingers floating over the sharp angles of his jaw consumed me. His skin was soft but at the same time rough from the slight growth of facial hair. Honestly, I didn't care what he looked like, it's not like I'd be seeing his appearance anytime soon, or ever.
Abruptly, I was pulled from my thoughts from the loud buzzing of my cell phone. My heart jumped at the possibility of it being Edward.
"Hello?"
The line was silent, but I could hear breathing on the other end. Just as I was about to speak, the soothing voice I'd grown to long for over the last two weeks floated through the line.
"Hi."
"Well good afternoon, handsome," I replied, confidently and probably slightly too enthusiastically. But I couldn't bring myself to care.
"What are you doing for dinner? I'd really like to see you," he blurted out.
I couldn't help but laugh at his eagerness.
"I don't have any plans. I'd love you to see you."
"Can I pick you up in a two hours?"
"That sounds perfect."
We talked for a few more moments before hanging up. A light sigh escaped my lips as I felt back on my bed. He really was too good to be true.
:-:-:-:
It didn't take me long to get ready for the evening, deciding to stay dressed in my loose fitting v-neck t-shirt and denim shorts. It was an uncharacteristically hot day in May, requiring cool loose fitting clothing. I pulled my hair up in a bun, wanting my hair off of the back of my neck.
Edward arrived just as he said he would, two hours after our phone conversation. I was impressed with his punctuality. I thought of Emmett, who couldn't be on time to save his life. Rosalie and I joked that we were going to have to lie and tell him he was getting married two hours before he actually was just so he wouldn't be late for his own ceremony.
When Edward came to the door I had been in my room grabbing my purse, requiring Emmett to open the door. I'd been slightly nervous about them being around each other again, but was pleasantly surprised by Emmett's positive attitude and behavior towards Edward. It was quite a surprise to hear Emmett joking and laughing with him. It made my insides burst with happiness that my brother could actually get along with Edward and was holding true to his promise of giving him a chance.
I almost hated to pull them apart while they were getting along so well. However, I was anxious to get Edward all to myself. We said good-bye to Rosalie and Emmett, but not before Emmett could get in one solid threat that Edward better take good care of me. Edward promised he would, before taking my hand and guiding me towards the car. This time, I let him open the door for me, knowing now that he seemed to enjoy doing gentlemanly things like that. Who was I to deny him that little bit of happiness?
Not a moment during the car ride to the restaurant was silent. Edward was so easy to talk to; I was never short of topics to discuss with him.
Once we arrived at the restaurant, I didn't bother pulling my cane out of my purse. I trusted Edward to guide me. Edward opened the door for me once again, before placing his hand in mine.
The hostess greeted us when we entered the restaurant. Her flirtatious tone with Edward was not lost on me. I thought it was completely obvious he was with me and incredibly rude of her to attempt to flirt with him right under my nose. My body had involuntarily stiffened while listening to her obvious comments. Edward thankfully showed no indication that he appreciated her advances. Instead, he pulled my body closer to his, squeezing my hand firmly while rubbing soothing circles on my palm with his thumb. His tone was short with her as we walked to our table. He kissed my cheek and pulled out my chair for me. I didn't miss the waitresses huffing sounds as she walked away. I couldn't help but smile to myself in victory.
Mine.
We ordered our food quickly, Edward helping me with the menu items since they didn't provide brail menus, and began small talk.
I couldn't help but notice that something seemed off about him. His mood had shifted and I couldn't understand why.
The tension was rolling off of him in waves. Even without knowing him for very long, I could tell that something was eating away at him. Ever so slowly, I brought my hand up onto the table and tentatively reached across towards him, hoping he'd understand what I was trying to do. I wanted to comfort him, to show him that it was okay to confide in me, to talk to me. But our relationship, if that's what I could call it at this point, was too fresh, too new, and I was suddenly too afraid to actually voice the words.
Instantly, one of his large hands enveloped mine. His hands were soft, but I could feel his roughened fingertips, most likely calloused from years of wear against guitar strings. I suddenly had a near overwhelming need to hear him play and I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face as our skin made contact.
With great effort, I forced the smile away to try to wear a more serious facial expression. "Is everything alright, Edward?"
I heard him take a deep breath and exhale heavily.
"It's just my father…," he started before being interrupted by our waitress, dropping off our drinks.
I waited patiently for Edward to continue after the waitress left. Since I've known Edward, he had carefully avoided all conversation about his father. I'd learned quite a bit about his sister Alice and a little bit about his mother, but hardly anything about his father. All I knew was that he was a doctor.
"He has a tendency to completely disregard my interest in music. He always has, ever since I was a kid. He tried to get me into sports and other things, to distract me from music, but it never worked. I can't tell you how many fights he and my mom had when I was younger; after each one she would come home with a new instrument or sign me up for another class…," he trailed off towards the end, his voice taking on an irritated edge. His grip on my hand tightened.
I couldn't imagine how any parent would completely dismiss their child's interests and talents. I had yet to hear Edward play any instruments, but I knew he was incredibly talented. I could tell by the passion he held when he spoke about his music. It was once of the qualities I found incredibly attractive about him.
I started running soothing circles with my thumb along the top of his hand, showing him I was listening.
"I know exactly why he feels that way…," he stated, starting to answer my silent question, but then completely avoiding it all together, "…I just think its complete bullshit." I could feel his body vibrating in agitation across the table.
I nodded my head, unsure of what he needed me to say or do.
He laughed lightly, the sound coming out more bitter than happy. "I'd been so excited to tell you about the band I got invited to join and the gigs-,"
"You joined a band??" I asked excitedly, interrupting him before whipping my hand up to cover my mouth. "Oops, sorry…,"
He laughed again, this time a more genuine sound, "Its okay, that's the reaction I was hoping for when I told someone for the first time, but that's not the one I got."
He sighed before continuing. "Instead I had my father basically tell me it was a waste of my time and that I was ruining my future." He paused for a moment and I wondered if I should make some kind of comment. Before I could decide, he continued. "My father has basically planned my entire summer out for me already without even consulting me. How wonderful is that?" I felt the question was rhetorical, so I just waited for him to continue. "He told me when I'd be volunteering at the hospital and he didn't seem to care at all that it conflicted with my previous commitment of band practice." I could hear his fingers run through his hair and I knew he just needed a chance to rant. I heard the air rush from his mouth in a "Humph" before he said, "God, I'm sorry, Bella. I don't mean to be so fucking whiny. I know my Dad is just pissed off because the things I want to do in life aren't what he had planned for me. I don't mean to burden you with all this."
His hand gripped tighter around mine, interlacing our fingers together before bringing our hands up to his lips to kiss my palm gently.
"It's okay. I'm glad you feel you can vent to me. I'm nothing if not a good listener." I smiled at him and I could feel the tension leaving his body as his hand relaxed around mine.
"You're good for me, you know that?" he said, kissing my hand once again and my heart did a little happy dance in my chest. I couldn't speak so I just smiled at him.
Our food came, causing Edward to reluctantly release my hand. We ate in silence for a few minutes before my curiosity got the better of me.
"Tell me about this band of yours and these gigs." I asked him, not even trying to hide the enthusiasm in my voice. "Do I get to come and listen?" I knew that I was failing to hide the hopefulness in my tone.
"Of course, I couldn't imagine you not being there," he answered and a smile immediately spread across my face before he launched into all the details of how he got invited to join, the guys in the band, and the gigs.
:-:-:-:
The car ride home from the restaurant was filled with comfortable silence, the weight of our conversation still on both of our minds. I knew there was more to the story about his father than what he had said during his slight meltdown before dinner. That much was obvious. I hadn't wanted to push him too far, too soon, so I just let it go and trusted he would come to me when he was ready. Instead, I had simply sat and listened, unsure of what sort of advice to offer him. I didn't want to step on any toes, while also afraid of saying something unhelpful. But it seemed that what he had needed was someone to listen. I felt again the warmth that had spread through me when he told me that I was good for him, because more than anything in the world, I wanted to be good for Edward.
"Would you like to come in?" I asked him softly, wringing my hands together slightly as I felt the car come to a stop, the gears grinding together a little as Edward placed it into park. I knew Rosalie and Emmett weren't home. They were going out with some friends and wouldn't be home until much later.
I wasn't ready to part from Edward just yet.
"I'd love to," he replied, just before I felt his lips brush against my cheek, causing my skin to light on fire. My lips instantaneously spread into a wide smile as I heard Edward open his car door before it slammed shut. Quickly, Edward was around to my side of the vehicle, opening my door and helping me out by taking my hand firmly. He threaded our fingers together and tucked my arm close to his side as we strolled up the walkway to the front door.
Without unlocking our fingers, I led us towards the couch in the living room after entering the house. We sat down, our bodies so close the side of my bare thigh brushed against his pant leg, sending a shiver down my spine. His scent surrounded me, clouding my mind in the most delicious way. We'd never been in such close proximity to each other before. I most definitely was not complaining.
"Do you mind if I turn on the stereo?" Edward asked gently after a few moments of silence.
"Not at all. I have a few CD's in the six-disc changer so if you just turn that on we should have a nice variety."
"Okay," he replied, as he released my hand and I felt the cushions of the couch shifting as he got up and walked towards the stereo. I bit back a whimper from the loss of contact. Within seconds, music gently filtered through the speakers and Edward had retaken his place on the couch, sitting impossibly closer to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulder, tugging my side into his chest. I hummed lightly, enjoying the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around me again.
Leaning into his side, and resting my head against the back of the couch, I tentatively rested my hand against his thigh. He felt him exhale, but he didn't make any attempt to move my hand.
We sat there for a few moments in silence, letting the music surround us, reveling in the feeling of the innocent contact of our bodies.
"Thank you, Bella," Edward whispered in my ear, his breath floating over my skin like a gentle caress. I bit down on my lip in an attempt to control myself.
"For what?" I asked, tilting my head to the side, as though I could see him and wanted to get a better look at him.
"For listening earlier. For being you," he told me gently, the heat of his breath washing over my face. I could feel him shift closer to me. "I'm going to kiss you now."
All I could do was nod, before his lips brushed against mine. I sighed into his mouth as our lips began to move together at a languid pace. With the arm that was wrapped around my shoulders, he tugged me closer to him, as if that was possible, and brought his other hand up to cup my cheek.
Feeling brave, I parted my lips slightly so I could run my tongue along his lower lip. He groaned into my mouth, immediately parting his lips, inviting my tongue into his mouth.
My body erupted, every nerve ending feeling as though it was on fire with the passion building inside of me as he brushed his tongue against mine. I couldn't control the contented sigh that escaped me as I reveled in the taste of him.
Ever so slowly, the hand that was cupping my cheek trailed down my neck, over my collarbone and down my side. I shivered and inadvertently giggled and I could feel one side of Edward's mouth lift up into a smile, his lips never parting from mine. His hand continued its path down the side of my body until it reached the bare skin of my thigh. Ever so gently, he trailed the back of his hand up and down the outside of my thigh, leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake.
"So soft, he murmured, pulling away from the kiss for just a moment so we could both catch our breaths. He began to move his lips across my cheek, until it reached my jaw. His tongue made a trail across my jaw and down my neck, before he blew lightly on the dampened skin. An involuntary moan escaped my lips and I knew I was panting heavily, but I couldn't bring myself to care. It felt so good. His lips curved up into a smile against my neck as he kissed the soft skin right below my ear. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest and I was positive he could feel it.
Unsure of where to put my free hand, the one that wasn't wedged between our two bodies, I found his hand that was running soothing trails up and down my thigh, and ran my fingers gently over the bare skin of his arm, over the sleeves of his t-shirt and up to his hair. I tangled my fingers into the soft locks of his hair, scraping my nails against his scalp lightly.
"Fuck, that feels good," he half whispered and half moaned, before bringing his head back up to mine and reconnecting our lips. I found myself slightly surprised by my lack of fear of his honesty; instead his bluntness spurred me on, wanting to touch him more, to make him feel good. The knowledge that my touches made him feel good was like an unbelievable high.
Quickly, our kisses became more urgent and needful. His hand moved to palm my thigh with his thumb resting in between my legs. With each pass, his hand moved quicker up and down my leg, his thumb moving closer to where I felt a growing need for him.
The sensations shooting throughout my body were completely new and foreign. But I wasn't stupid. I knew what was happening to my body… and his. Instead of being frightened, like I always thought I would be, I was excited and surprisingly needy. I just wanted to feel and experience. Edward was igniting a passion in me I thought I would never experience.
Gently, I felt him pull me closer while shifting our bodies so I could lie back on the couch and he was hovering over me, never separating our lips. My heart started pounding wildly in my chest, nerves erupting in my stomach.
As much as I loved the feeling of his body so close to mine, and was anxious to explore, I knew I didn't want to take this too fast. I was incredibly inexperienced and that made me nervous. I wasn't stupid. Edward was a twenty-two year old male. I knew he probably had oodles more experience than me. This was not something I wanted to think about, Edward with another girl, but I was being realistic.
I released his hair from my grip, placing my palm on his chest, pushing him away gently.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he whispered as he pulled away.
Taking a deep breath, I brought my hands up until I found his face, so I could cup both of his cheeks in my hands. Now more than ever I wish I could see his expression, see if he was frustrated by my stopping our little make-out session or if he was okay with it. "It was nice, I just… I don't know…," I told him, unsure of what to say to him, to tell him I needed to move slowly. I was fearful maybe that would scare him away, my inexperience would be too much for him to handle and he wouldn't want me anymore.
Without even realizing it, I'd taken my lower lip between my teeth, nibbling on it softly. Edward pulled us back up, so we were in a sitting position, his arm still wrapped around my shoulder and hugging me into his side. His fingers were suddenly on my lips, releasing the grip my teeth had on them.
"Its okay, Bella. We don't have to do anything. We can go as slowly as you need to," he told me sweetly. I couldn't help the shy smile that formed on my lips. "I just like kissing you so much," he whispered. "I got a little carried away. I mean, really, can you blame me? You're beautiful"
I blushed at his words as he leaned over and put a gentle kiss on my cheek. He really was too good to be true.
I smiled and nodded my head, unsure of what to really say. One thing was for sure though, I was finding myself falling for Edward Cullen, and falling hard.
A/N: Reviews are always appreciated!
Also, I was interviewed by Roselover24 from the So You Think You Can Write blog this past week! She says my interview will be up sometime this coming week. I'll post a link to it on my Twitter account and also my profile when it goes up. So a big thank you to her! She's positively wonderful and everyone should go check out her blog!