A/N- I do not own Divergent or any of its characters. All rights go to Veronica Roth.

This is the second chapter I have uploaded today, so make sure you have read chapter 9 before this one :) I'm uploading twice today because I won't be able to update for a couple of days (I normally update once per day). There is some Fourtris drama, but they need to clear up some issues that have been brewing for a while. Don't worry, things will start to get less depressing and become resolved after this chapter.

Chapter 10

2 weeks later…

Tobias and I haven't been on the best of terms these past couple of weeks. I don't really say much to him, and he's given up asking. Like usual, he keeps talking to me about different memories, ones that I had forgotten. I know he's only trying to help me, but I've become past the point of help. I refuse to speak to my therapist, who in turn is becoming even more frustrated with me.

"Beatrice? Listen to me!" I'm startled out of my daydream by Tobias' fist hitting the table, causing the knives and forks to clatter.

"Beatrice? Really?" I cock an eyebrow at him, causing his frown to deepen.

"It worked didn't it? I finally got your attention for the first time today."

"Actually, I think it was your fist colliding with the table that caught my attention."

He sighs and scrubs his face with his hands. His messy hair and unkempt appearance proves how much I've been wearing him out. He has aged somewhat over the past couple of months, and I blame myself. "I was asking you if you wanted to see Zeke and Shauna today."

"No," I reply, messing with the food on my plate.

"Why not?"

"What's the point? We both know that they're not going to come! And Shauna hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. She just, doesnt understand you."

"Four, when will you get the hint that Zeke doesn't want to see you?" I know this was harsh, but it's true. After everything that we had all been through together, I thought that we would have friends for life. It's funny how they all deserted Tobias and I, we haven't seen them since. I feel bad that he has to do this all on his own, his Dauntless pals forgetting about him.

"You never call me Four," he stares at me with incredulity.

"Well, you never call me Beatrice!"

"Stop being a child!" He puts his head in his hands for a moment, and then picks up his knife and fork, angrily stabbing his food. I know that the real reason people don't come here is because of me, even Uriah finds it difficult to speak to me lately. I've decided that the best way to not hurt anyone is to shut them out. I'm pretty much useless and I don't want to hold them all back anymore, they shouldn't have to worry about me. Uriah and Marlene have moved into a modest apartment near the police department, they're both joining the police force, and have already started their new and promising life. I wish Tobias would join it, but he said he's done with guns and knives. I don't blame him. He spends most of his time with me, stuck in the apartment. I don't wake up until noon, and he's gone all morning. Where he goes, I do not know, but I have my suspicions. "I'm going to change the bedding," he gets up, clearing the plates off the table. He puts them in the sink and walks out towards the bedroom. I sit in my chair for a minute before wheeling myself into the living room. As I pass the phone table, I see a pile of mail. I flick through the letters, surprisingly we sometimes get fan mail, general thanks for saving the city, we get invited to small parties and ceremonies, but of course we never attend. I come across a small white envelope with 'Four' handwritten on the back, it's already been opened. I look to see if the coast is clear, and reach into the envelope, pulling out a small piece of folded paper.

Four,

I hope you have had some more time to think about my offer. As I told you, it's a prestigious position, and you and Tris would be well looked after. I understand that you do not wish to work full time at the moment, however I have a small opportunity for you, from which you can work at home. It's mainly paperwork, but I thought it would do for now. Please stop by again whenever you can, and we can discuss this matter further.

Johanna Reyes.

I stare at the paper in shock. It's an informal, hand written letter which makes it quite obvious that the two have exchanged words before, perhaps on numerous occasions. I have so many questions, what offer did she give him? She said it was a prestigious position, does that mean that she wanted him to work alongside her in government? No, surely he wouldn't turn that offer down. But, of course he would. That is exactly something that he would do, and for one reason only. Me. I hear someone clear their throat, and look up to see Tobias standing at the other end of the hall, arms crossed and leaning against the wall.

"What the hell is this?" I wave the piece of paper in the air, my voice shaking.

"Yeah, about that," he strides up to me, about to take the piece of paper away from me. I clutch it to my chest and wheel over towards the sitting area. "Tris, let me explain."

"No! You let me explain! I don't like the fact that you've been keeping things from me. I don't like it one bit."

"I haven't been keeping things from you-"

"Oh really? Then explain this? What was the position?"

"She wanted me to help lead the city, alongside her," he pauses, "eventually, I would take over."

"Oh my God," I whisper. "That's why we got this apartment, isn't it? Because she wants you to work in government?"

"I rejected the offer. I didnt want it."

"Because of me?"

"Not just that. I don't want to work in government. I don't want anything to do with this stupid city."

"So you'd rather stay at home with a decrepit girl?" He sighs, exasperated. He sits down on the sofa, with his head in his hands.

"You do this to yourself. You're the one that makes it hard."

"Do what? Come to terms with the fact that I'm worn out? That I'm useless? That you're wasting your time with me?"

"I'm not wasting my time with you Tris. I love you-"

"Bull! If you loved me then you wouldn't keep things from me! If you loved me then you would live your life, so that I wouldnt have to feel guilty all the time about holding you back!" My voice aches from all the shouting, and tears streak my pale face.

"I don't keep things from you! It was one thing that didn't matter."

"Oh, you don't keep things from me?"

"No," he laughs humourlessly.

"What is it you spend your mornings doing then?" I point at the door.

"What?"

"What are you doing every morning when I'm asleep?"

"I'm not doing anything!"

"Oh really? I wonder if tomorrow morning when you're gone, Alice will be absent to?" His frown instantly disappears, and he looks like he just got hit across the face with frying pan. His shoulders sag and his eyes glisten, I've hit him where it hurts.

"You think I'm with Alice?" His voice is quieter, more vulnerable.

"Yes." But the thing is, deep down, I know he's not with Alice. I know that he hasn't so much as smiled at her. Tobias wouldn't look at another girl like that, but sometimes, I wish that he would.

"Tris, I don't know what's going on in that head of yours," his signature frown returns, "but you've got it all completey wrong. I spend my mornings running, trying to get rid of the frustration and anger that you cause me from not opening up to me! From seeing you in pain everyday. Do you know how much it hurts? To see you drowning, and knowing that there's nothing that I can do to pull you back up again?"

"Then why do you bother? Why do you stick around? You could have anyone and anything that you want. But what do you have with me? Nothing." Frantic sobs spill through my body, my teeth gritted in frustration.

"I have everything with you."

"You could have more with someone like her! You could have a job, you could have a family!" The words slip out from my lips before I remember, I've been keeping things from him too. He doesn't know that I can't give him a family.

"I could have a family with you too, I-"

"No," my voice goes solemn, "you can't. Tobias, I can't have children. They told me at the hospital." He stares at me in disbelief, and starts pacing the room, dragging his hands through his hair. I have no idea how much this is hurting him, does he want those things? I can't put him through this anymore. "I want you to leave," I whisper.

"Tris, I don't care about all that, I just-"

"Tobias, I want you to leave. I don't want you here. I don't want you to come back." His life would be better off without me, and maybe one day he'll see that.

"I can't leave you, I won't leave you."

"Go!" I shout, "Leave! Can't you see I'm holding you back? Can't you see that I don't want to hold you back?"

"Please! Go! Leave"

"Tris-"

"NO! I don't want you here. Just go!"

The hurt look in his eyes devastates me. I wish he never met me. I wish I died instead of my mother. I want him to be free from all of this. He continues to stare at me in disbelief, and then turns around, slowly walking towards the door. I try to turn my chair around to wheel towards the sofa so that I can sit down there. I turn it too forcefully and when I move my body, I fall onto the floor. I'm on my stomach, weighted down by my heavy, useless limbs. I silently sob, my shoulders evidently shaking. I have to just lie here on the floor, a helpless heap of skin and bones. I can't lift myself off the ground on my own, and my back hurts from the fall so I can't lift my neck. Silence fills the room, until I hear light, timid footsteps approach me. I know what he's doing, he's going to help me. It pains me that after everything that I have just said to him, he's still going to help me. Because he has to. He crouches down on the floor and starts to lift me gently. This brave, strong, respectable man helps me, no matter how harsh the words were that I just threw at him. Because I can't help myself. I need him, and he knows it. I've always needed him, and somehow, he's always needed me too. He doesn't say anything as he lifts me up, about to place me in my chair. But before he does, I wrap my arms around his neck and lean my head against his solid, warm chest. His heart is racing, and he pauses for a moment before collapsing back down onto the floor and cradling me in his arms like a child. He buries his face in my neck and holds me so tight, because I know that he never wants to let go. We've only ever argued once before, back at the Bureau. I don't like it, I don't want to fight with him. I don't want to lie to him, and I don't want him to lie to me.

"It kills me," I cry.

"I know," he whispers, his voice cracking. He holds me until we both run out of tears.

Coming up…

"Get up!" Shauna's voice is harsh and clear, she pulls my sheets away and tries to tug on my arm.

"I'm awake!"

"No, I said get up."

"Why?"

She looks at me and heaves a deep sigh, frowning a little. "Tris, look at me. From the outside, anyone would say that we were the same. We're both stuck in a wheelchair."

"So…"

"But you and I, we're nothing alike. I would rather be dead than be like you."

"What do you mean?" My voice is barely a squeak.

"Because you're in bed and I'm not."