Padme walked into her apartment, her legs hollow. Somehow, they carried her to the bedroom. Her and Obi-Wan's bedroom.

Obi-Wan.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and squeezed her eyes shut. Force, please help me, Padme silently begged. She was alone now. Of course she knew she had her family and friends, but it was more than that. She was alone in a way she always would be. A void had been created within her. Her husband had died. A part of her had died as well.

The tears began to fall, slowly at first, but then she broke down, sobbing.

She hadn't known what to expect when she saw Yoda, Mace Windu, and Bail Organa waiting for her in her office, but it certainly wasn't this news. This disturbing news. Padme still couldn't fathom - it didn't seem possible.

Why? Why was he taken from me? And not only her, but the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan was going to be on the Jedi Council, having been placed on the Old Guard. Then Padme thought of Anakin. Anakin. Oh, how he must be suffering as well. Obi-Wan had been like a father to him. They had their disagreements and clashes sometimes, it was true – Padme had seen a couple herself. But, she also knew that their bond was too strong to let all those little disagreements change it. A part of Padme wished she could talk to Anakin – just to have someone to talk to. He better than anyone would understand her grief, even if he didn't know she was married to his master and friend. He, too, had the person he cared about most taken from him. First his mother, and now Obi-Wan, his father figure, Padme thought, new wave of sadness coursing through her. She hoped Anakin was alright, for he was no doubt still fighting on Jabiim.

That night, as Padme lay in bed, knowing Obi-Wan would never be there to lie next to her, to take her in his arms, or to brush his fingers along her skin again. The bed always had felt very large and empty when Obi-Wan was away, but now she could hardly bare it. Tears started to fall again, and this time, they didn't stop on their own, but finally when exhaustion set in, and Padme unwillingly succumbed to sleep, afraid of what it might bring.

Three days later, Padme returned to the Senate. She didn't want to, but she knew she had to, knowing that Obi-Wan would want her to – especially because of her unique situation. It wasn't publicly known, of course, that she was Obi-Wan's wife. Many were under the obvious impression that they were friends and had known each other for years, for he'd helped free Naboo from the Trade Federation. But no one knew they were married. If they did, they wouldn't expect Padme to come back to work for weeks. They would tell her to go Naboo, and visit her family. Padme would do this in a few months, when the pain lessened, she decided.

Despite going back to work, Padme made it clear by her appearance that things were not normal: She wore deep grays and browns, having no desire wear any color yet, feeling that all the light and color in her world was gone, so why should she pretend that everything was alright, when it wasn't?

The days and weeks that followed went by in monotone – everyday was the same. There was no life in Padme's eyes. While at work, she tried distracting her self, but still found she was thinking of Obi-Wan more often than not. She remembered how hard it had been to speak at Obi-Wan's funeral about a week after the announcement of his death had been made. She had to remember to speak as his dear friend – not his wife. Wife or not, she still wore a black gown. Her hair was up and delicately decorated with black crystals. And the gloves she wore matched her dress. She summoned all the strength and will she had and delivered a speech of how she would always remember Obi-Wan. She talked of how she would be forever grateful to him for all that he did on Naboo nearly eleven years earlier – not only helping to free her planet, and risking his life to protect her, but more important than all that he'd befriended her – as a person, not a queen, and with that earning her eternal trust. She'd also told of how grateful she was for his protection after she'd come back to Coruscant, when there'd been another assassination attempt on her life.

At the funeral, Master Yoda had gave her more comforting words. She actually smiled a couple of times when talking to his close friends in the Jedi Order: Kit Fisto, Shaak Ti, Luminara Unduli, Quinlan Vos, and Siri Tachi - who Padme actually didn't get a chance to speak to, but sensed was the most upset of all his friends. One person who was absent, Padme couldn't help but notice, was Anakin. This saddened her. She'd been there when he'd spoken words about his mother – to his mother at her small service after she'd died. Padme knew that he would've spoken for Obi-Wan had he been here. It hurt her that he was still fighting in that deadly battle, when she was on Coruscant, mourning. She wanted to do something – but she didn't know what.

After she'd gotten home that day, she sat on the couch, thinking about nothing – about everything, staring off into the distance.

When sitting in the Senate sometimes, she would find herself thinking of Obi-Wan, and memories of them together. She dared not think of their wedding and the days that followed, for she was sure to break down. Instead, she thought of all the conversations they shared. Padme remembered all the times he'd made her laugh, by both his witty, quick sense of humor and his beard against her neck. Padme remembered when Obi-Wan told her of how when Anakin was very young, sitting and listening to his podracing stories for hours, Anakin's enthusiasm never waning. She remembered how Obi-Wan had laughed at stories from her childhood, stories about how she and Sola were merciless towards one another.

So many happy memories, and only nine months. Not even a year of marriage. Obi-Wan had told her to look to the Force, which she tried to do. If you listen, really listen, and open up you're mind when you're troubled or in doubt, you will hear it speaking to you and guiding you, Obi-Wan had told her. She tried to listen. She was asking, so why wasn't the Force answering her? She knew and felt that it was with her, but she felt lost. But she wasn't about to give up on the Force.

44 days after Obi-Wan's death, it was sunset on Coruscant, and Padme was sitting in her apartment, sipping on tea – the kind her and Obi-Wan had every morning when eating breakfast – when she heard the door chime. Her brow furrowed. She really didn't feel like getting the door, for the past few days had been particularly difficult for her; The Senate had received more disturbing news from the ongoing struggle on Jabiim. The losses were high – much too high. Every single Jedi on Jabiim had been killed in the battle – save for Anakin Skywalker, who took command of the army after he was left alone. After trying to salvage the battle and what was left of the clones, Chancellor Palpatine instructed Anakin to lead an evacuation of all Republic forces.

The battle was a great blow to the Republic. But it was over now. There were no longer any Republic troops on Jabiim. Padme would curse the day another Republic troop - Jedi, clone or otherwise had to step foot on that planet again.

Padme stayed silent as Dorme` went and to see who was here.

"Is Senator Amidala here?" Padme heard a boyish voice ask from the door. She immediately rushed toward the door.

"Thank you, Dorme`," Padme said. Dorme` nodded and walked away.

Padme turned to see Anakin. Tears formed in her eyes, and she didn't even try to restrain them as she stepped toward Anakin and threw her arms around him.

"Thank the Force you're alright," Padme sobbed.

Anakin was her friend, and he was Obi-Wan's Padawan, whom he loved like a son - stubbornness and all. With Obi-Wan gone, Padme had begun to realize that it was her unofficial duty to make sure Anakin was alright, and that he was happy, which she would always try to fix when he wasn't. Obi-Wan was her husband, but Anakin was a part of her life, too.

He wrapped his arms around her as well.

"I'm fine, Padme," He reassured. "It's nice to know someone was worried about me."

She pulled back and looked at him.

"Oh, Anakin, believe me when I say everyone was. For the past month, all we've been getting is horrible news from Jabiim. I can't imagine what it must've been like. And then…Obi-Wan. Anakin, I'm so sorry. Did you-"

"See it happen? No," He and Padme were standing in the living room now. "But, that's why I'm here Padme, because I know you cared for him, too." He paused for a second, as if not knowing how to explain. "Obi-Wan had many friends in the Jedi Order, and they're my friends, too. And they loved Obi-Wan like a brother. You know him, how could they not?" Anakin looked at her, and Padme nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. "But, they love Obi-Wan the Jedi - the disciplined, perfect Jedi. You and I, we've seen the man. We know and love the real Obi-Wan. We're all he had."

As much as Anakin's words were true, and as much as they were touching her heart, making it beat like it hasn't in the past month, Padme still didn't know what Anakin was getting at.

"Yes, we were I suppose," Padme said quietly. "But, I'm trying to understand what you're telling me. I miss him, too, Anakin, and it's hard for me, but-"

Anakin stepped closer to her.

"Padme, that's what I'm trying to tell you. This might be hard to believe, but you have to trust me," He paused again, looking into her eyes, asking her to trust him. When he spoke again, he did so slowly. "I know that Obi-Wan is still alive."

Padme gasped and looked away, and Anakin was quick to explain.

"Padme, I know it sounds hard to believe, but you have to. If Obi-Wan was dead, I would've felt it the instant it happened, felt it in the Force. I felt a disturbance, yes, but it was like an alarm, telling me he was in danger."

Was this her answer from the Force? Padme didn't know. And if it was, why did she feel so confused? The Force was supposed to light her way, not make it darker.

"Anakin, I…I just don't know. If what you say is true-"

"Then he's suffering, Padme! And we shouldn't give up on him. I'm not going to, and I'm going to go look for him - soon."

"Anakin, no! That would be dangerous! Have you taken the time to clear your mind and reach out to the Force, and asking yourself 'Is Obi-Wan really alive?' or is it just…you wishing he was still alive? Because believe me, I wish he was still alive, too." Padme had tears in her eyes again.

"Padme, you must believe me. I know Obi-Wan is alive, and I'm going to find him and bring him back from wherever he is. I promise."

That night, Padme cried herself to sleep once again, not knowing what to believe. She prayed that the Force would be with both her and Anakin during this difficult time, and that wherever Obi-Wan was now, he was alright.

The next day, Padme learned something that she wasn't sure if she should consider an answer: Anakin had been given a new master. Ki-Adi-Mundi, one of the wise, life-time members of the Jedi Council, was Anakin's new master. By the end of the day, Padme was sure that this was Force telling Anakin and her - Anakin especially, that it was time to at least start the healing process. Obi-Wan wasn't coming back, and he wouldn't want them lingering and confused. He would want them to move forward and achieve great things.

Later in the week though, just when Padme was telling herself that she must start to accept this, Anakin came and visited her again. She was happy to see him, but wished he would start moving on. Once he started moving on, Padme's heart wouldn't be as heavy as it was, with not only one person's grief, but two. She'd tried comforting him, but Anakin wouldn't have it, insisting that Obi-Wan was alive.

"Anakin, Master Yoda and Master Windu came to me and told me he'd been killed. With their strong connection to the Force, you don't think they would know if Obi-Wan was alive?" Padme asked.

"No, I don't," Anakin said in all seriousness. "They don't have the connection with him that I do, not even close and you know it."

Padme couldn't deny that Anakin had a point. She knew that he and Obi-Wan had always had a very strong Force bond. With this, Padme was frustrated. Why couldn't she, as Obi-Wan's wife, be feeling what Anakin was feeling?

At that thought, she stopped and reminded herself, the Force, trust in and listen to the Force…

Soon, the Force would talk back to her clearer than ever.