"I love you. It's a miserable excuse for what we're doing, but it's true," I murmured. "But we belong together," she whispered. "No, there isn't a more foolproof way of getting the Volturi here, but you're worth it." AU. CxB. REVISED.

I'm so sorry. It's a little short, but better than nothing, right? Xoxo —ei BTW I have a new original fic out on fictionpress! Check it out, it's a little different my usual endeavors in romance and adventures. It's more of a thriller! Same author's name: eloquentlyinsane. Go read it!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

·V·E·R·B·O·T·E·N·

Chapter 10: Truths

Forks, Washington

"We need a contingency," Alice said. "Edward's on a rampage. I can't see what he's going to do—he's changing his mind too quickly—I'm only getting flashes. But it doesn't look good."

"What is it?"

"He's killing you, he's dead. Sometimes both, sometimes neither. But every time, he's losing control. He's slipping and Bella's always dead."

"We've got to bring her here!" Jasper said at once. "We can protect her best until Edward cools down, or at least until Esme gets back."

"Call Esme!" I shouted at Emmett.

"I did," he whined. "She's not answering. She must be hunting."

"Or maybe Edward got to her," Rosalie added darkly.

"No, no, Esme would never condone this." I spun around, my mind racing. "We can't bring Bella here. She would never allow it and besides, it's too predictable. It's the first place Edward would come. She needs to stay at her apartment. Edward's never been there."

"It's only a matter of time, Carlisle. Edward cold just track her there from the university. Or here, her scent is everywhere. As for her not allowing it…" Jasper smirked. "I'd like to see her resist any one of us."

"We need someone to stake out there."

"But who would be dumb enough to volunteer to do that?" Emmett snickered. "Not it!" He added, quickly.

We all glanced sideways at Rosalie.

"You have got to be kidding me."

-x-

This is a terrible idea.

I was pacing hurriedly around the cliffs by La Push, not troubling to keep quiet. But I had been here for a half-hour and nothing had happened, or more accurately, no one had showed up.

"This is stupid," I chuntered under my breath. What is the point of painstakingly drawing up a treatise when you don't even care who trespasses on tribal prop—

A snarl rent the air.

I stumbled backed, as four large, bear-sized wolves padded into the clearing, hackles raised, and jowls aquiver with delight.

"I come in peace," I said mildly.

'I come in peace'? What is this Star Wars?

There was a sharp crack like a gunshot and the foremost wolf, an entirely black wolf with especially menacing fangs, transformed into a nude boy. He did not make any attempt to cover himself.

"We need your help."

"We do not help you, monster."

Tell me you see the irony…

"It's not for us, there's a danger to the townspeople tonight."

-x-

"What is she doing here?" I hissed at Jasper, livid.

I'd finally gotten back from the wolves, having convinced them that Edward was a threat, but not a kill him, which went against every one of their wolfish instincts.

"This concerns her, too, Carlisle. Edward's not the only this was news for. She deserves to know. And…Alice said she would be helpful in this situation." He muttered the last bit very quietly.

"Alice said—well, that's just—perfect!" I snarled.

"Carlisle," Bella said quietly, touching my arm.

"What?" I growled.

Her eyes widened, fear flashed momentarily in them and immediately I was disgusted with myself.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I rubbed my eyes tiredly. "Today was an unqualified catastrophe." I pulled her closer to me and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.

She relaxed by a fraction. "What's going on?"

"Edward and I are having a little fight," I said evasively.

"A little fight?" Emmett said scornfully. "He's going to kill you."

Bella blanched. "He WHAT?"

"It's not that bad," Alice said coolly, glowering at Emmett. "Edward has a flair for the overdramatic."

"He wants to kill Carlisle?" Bella repeated, stunned. "Surely that's a figure of speech."

She had expected us to agree with her immediately, but when Jasper and I exchanged guilty glances, she staggered backward. Emmett caught her neatly and pushed a chair under her.

"Bella, you don't need to worry. It will pass, Edward will cool down."

"Carlisle," Jasper said, in a voice too low for her to hear. "You can't push this under the rug and pretend like nothing is wrong. Even if Edward does cool down, she deserves to know. You said you would be honest with her, and this isn't a very good way to start out."

The others swiveled their heads a fraction toward us as they followed the conversation, still maintaining the guise of calming Bella so she wouldn't realize we were carrying a secret dialogue right under her nose.

"Jasper, it's in the past. Why I do need to go and rake up old wounds? Why alarm her about something that doesn't even matter anymore?"

He merely looked at me.

"Fine!" I snapped.

Bella glanced up at me worriedly. "Carlisle…?" Her eyes shone, begging for me to confide in her. She had already told in me that she was very aware of the inequity in our relationship and I had, in turn, promised to be upfront with her.

So what am I doing?

She watched me, doe-eyed and cautious, probably waiting for me to explode again.

"Bella, I'm going to explain what's happening, but I need you to understand that all of it was in the past, alright? None of it matters to me anymore. You understand that, right? My whole life before you means nothing—you are my life now."

"Carlisle, you're scaring me."

"Did I ever tell you how I met Esme?"

This threw her. "How you—Esme? What does that matter…—" She glanced around. "Where is Esme?"

"She's in Alaska with Tanya, Eleazar and the others. She's been there for almost a week. No one's told her yet…Edward hasn't either, I'll bet, because she would be furious with him. And it's not in my place, or anyone else's to play the tattletale."

She took this in. "No, you never told me how you and Esme met."

"It was before I met Edward. Chicago, 1911, shortly before the First World War. She had fallen from a tree and broken her leg. As you can imagine, I caused quite a stir in town as a young, single doctor. Several parents pursued me for their daughters, but I moved on to my next employment too quickly for anything to come to fruition, but Esme made quite an impression on me."

Bella's face had turned pasty, as though what she was hearing made her physically ill.

"Several years later, by a stroke of luck, Edward and I we ran into Esme again, but in a very different situation. She had not had a happy life. Her husband beat her. Why she stayed even as long as she did, I don't know, but when she realized she was pregnant she left him without a second thought. But she lost the baby and that was the last straw for her. Edward found her on the edge of a ravine. She had jumped from a very great height. I recognized her immediately and with Edward's help, I changed her and we hoped for the best."

Bella's eyes glistened.

"You can understand that perhaps I had certain — well, perhaps, 'expectations' is too strong a word, but I operated under some assumptions: Esme and I were the oldest and we even had a prior history so you can understand that almost everyone thought initially that Esme and I would be…mates."

There was no way to say it delicately.

"I can understand that," She said stonily.

"So it came as a surprise to me when she and Edward expressed an interest in each other. Arrogantly, I had assumed that she would return my feelings. Even after she and Edward had solidified, for years I had some remnants of my feelings, nothing more than idle though fueled by the fact that I still hadn't met anyone I wanted. Of course, I would never, ever, act on my feelings, out of respect for Edward and Esme, but they were there nonetheless, simmering."

"How long did you have these feelings?"

"Until I met you."

"I see."

I didn't like her response. It was heavy with unsaid meaning. She turned away from me, biting her lip, apparently lost in thought.

"Bella, please, talk to me." I got down on my knees and held her hands in mine.

"Carlisle," she said slowly. "I can understand why you would hesitate to tell me this. Talking about previous relationships, unrequited or not, is difficult. I can hardly judge you. I mean, I slept with Mike Newton—that's far worse."

"You slept with Mike Newton!"

She frowned at me.

"Okay, not the point. I see your forgiveness and raise you some clemency."

She continued, "I can even accept your assurance that you don't have any feelings for Esme. I believe you entirely, really I do…"

But…

"But I don't know if I can be with you anymore."

"What?" I said, aghast. "But you said—"

"Carlisle, try to imagine what this feels like for me. Suddenly, the only man I've ever loved is telling me that he used be in love with his brother-son's wife, a woman who I've adored unconditionally until now because there was never any competition for your affections. But now, I'm too aware of how short I fall compared to her. I'm never going to be as pretty as Esme. I'm always going to feel like a consolation prize."

She took my hand.

"I can't live my life like that. I would never be happy. I can even understand why Edward is angry; you being his father, his brother—he must feel so betrayed. Even if you never did anything, especially if you never did anything because he's always going to wonder whether if you had tried to win Esme over maybe she would have chosen you over him—because that's how I feel."

"Bella," I said weakly, falling to the ground beside her. "How can I convince you that what I felt for Esme doesn't hold a candle to the inferno of affection and adoration I have for you? I love you. I desired Esme; that is all."

She began to cry.

"Bella, please, please, don't do this."

She held up her hand to stop me. "Jasper? Take me home, please."

He was next to me in a moment. He neatly picked her up bridal style so that her legs dangled over his arms.

"Jasper, no!"

Suddenly, Emmett was behind me, straight-arming me just as he had to Edward before. I struggled futilely as Jasper carried Bella from the house. I stopped when I could no longer sense her and, slowly, Emmett let go of me.

"Carlisle," he patted my shoulder tersely.

"I've just lost my son and the love of my life," I told him plaintively. "I don't think the Volturi could have done any better."

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