Chapter Ten

As she watched Rex disappear out the door that led from the observation deck, Brenna tried not to feel disappointed. Until he'd been called away, she thought that the experience had been...fun. A bit strange, as they'd each acknowledged, but not unpleasant. They had each laughed a bit, the food was nice, the view was beautiful...all were key elements in a positive interaction.

But he'd made no indication that he wanted to see her again – even speak to her again – and she felt deflated, just a bit more than she should have.

As she slid off of the table and began to pack up the remnants of their meal, she mentally reprimanded herself, because she should have known better than to mistake his kindness for attraction. Likely he was just being polite, as the clones had been trained to act around civilians. After she slipped out of the observation deck and began to make her way to her cabin, she wondered if Rex had been relieved to be called away by the Jedi, as it had saved him from having to continue the charade any longer.

Again, she'd made the wrong choice, and again she was feeling the consequences of falling for – even in the earliest stages – a man who was wholly unsuitable and unprepared for any kind of commitment. As she'd told Marliss, it was silly to expect more from the clones; they simply weren't made for anything long-term, in more ways than one. It was a harsh reality, but it was one with which she was painfully accustomed. Her life was tangled and his was too short to spend trying to help her unravel the knots.

Still, she liked him. Had liked him.

But it didn't matter.

When she reached her and Marliss' cabin, she disposed of the empty food packages and put away the leftovers, then took a seat on her bunk and pulled out her comlink to call Alderaan. Talking to Iri always made her feel better. However, after there was no answer, she glanced at her chrono and frowned, realizing that it was a time when none of her brother's family would be home just yet. She sighed and set her comlink in her pocket, then cast a glance around the empty room and tried to push away the swell of loneliness that had appeared in her chest.

Just as she was about to admit defeat and go to sleep, the door to the room opened and Marliss strode in, coming off of her shift rotation. When her eyes fell on Brenna, she frowned and shut the door behind her. "Back already?"

"He got called away by the Jedi," Brenna replied, folding her legs beneath her and setting her hands in her lap.

Marliss nodded, but still looked skeptical. "Well, I guess that's understandable, but you look...unhappy. Did something else happen?"

There was a pause, then Brenna shrugged. "He didn't seem to want to...see me again. And I'm just..." She smoothed back her hair and shook her head, as if to dispel the continuing feeling of disappointment. "I...liked him. But it's okay. It's fine. Serves me right for falling for another clone."

"Another clone?" Marliss' eyes widened and she slid before Brenna on the bed, still in her mechanic's jumpsuit. There were dark, greasy splotches on the fabric, but Brenna held her tongue because the look on her roommate's face was nothing short of astonished.

Brenna paused again, considering. Although she and Marliss got along fairly well, they hadn't known each other a terribly long time, and she hadn't shared all aspects of her past with her roommate. Finally she nodded. "Iri's father is a commando named Tucker."

"Kriff," Marliss said, green eyes round as saucers. "Bren, I didn't know..."

"Well, I don't talk about him too much," Brenna replied. "It's kind of a sore subject."

The blonde woman bent to remove her boots, tossing them to the floor with two thuds before glancing back at Brenna. "Okay, you really need to catch me up here. So...Iri's dad is a clone named Tucker?"

"We met at my first posting on Andara, back at the start of the War. I'd never seen a Fett clone before; Tucker was the first one I really got to know."

Despite herself, Brenna smiled at the memory of the jovial young man who'd swept her off her feet. "Tucker was...incredible. Vibrant. Full of energy and passion...it was impossible not to like him, and I fell for him, hard. But I have this awful habit of...forgetting myself around men I'm attracted to, you know? I get all flustered and stupid, and forget simple things – like contraception."

She glanced at Marliss, who was watching her with an unreadable expression. At her look, the blonde woman nodded for her to continue, so Brenna took a deep breath. "When I found out that I was pregnant, we'd only been seeing each other – casually, mind you – for about three months. After I told him, everything changed."

"How?"

Brenna sighed again. "He got...scared. For the first time since I'd met him, he was really and truly terrified. Everything was so new, then...not just the clones, but the War; so much was uncertain...I think he panicked. I told him and he said that he couldn't handle it. The next day, he and his squad were gone.

"I tried to contact him quite a number of times, but he never replied. Eventually I gave up, but I've kept track of his number ever since, in case Iri ever wants to find him; he's still alive, but I'm not sure where he is, now."

There was a moment of absolute silence before Marliss took a breath in the manner of someone who was trying to calm herself. When she looked at Brenna, her eyes were sad. "I'm sorry, Bren. That's..."

Brenna gave a tight smile. "It's okay. I mean, it's not okay – it's an awful situation all around – but I can't let myself be too upset with him. Tucker was so young, Mar, I see that now."

"You weren't exactly an old biddy at...what? Twenty-one when you found out you were pregnant?" Marliss asked.

Nodding, Brenna gave a deep inhale, because it was always difficult to speak about Tucker; doing so brought back a lot of memories, many of which she tried not to think about. "At the time we were both just having fun, but now..."

She frowned and looked down at her folded hands. "It was a mistake, on both of our parts: he shouldn't have taken off the way he did, but I shouldn't have gotten involved with him in the first place. Maybe I shouldn't have even expected him to act any differently once he found out I was pregnant. But since I can't go back and change things, I'm just trying to make them right, from here on out."

"So...what happened tonight, with your blond captain?" Marliss asked after a moment. "You really think he doesn't like you?"

"It's way, way to soon to go into all the details with Tucker," she replied. "But I'm sure he heard enough to get an idea of what he was in for. Mar, their lives are so short; can you blame any of them for not wanting to spend what time they do have with someone complicated?"

In response, Marliss gave her a knowing look. "Even I know that they're not all the same. Rex isn't Tucker."

"I know that, too," Brenna replied with a frown. "It's just...difficult."

Rex's face came to her mind's eye, along with his words from the previous day: "I always mean what I say...you can count on that."

Perhaps it was true, but she didn't think she'd ever get to find out.

Marliss shifted on the bed, a thoughtful expression on her face as if she was trying to sort out a puzzle. "Maybe he just didn't know how you felt, so he decided to be cautious. They don't have much experience with women, right? That's the impression I got with Jesse."

It was a valid point, but Brenna suddenly felt too tired to think about it any more, so she gave Marliss a small smile. "Yeah, maybe. I'll give it a few days and see how I feel. Thanks for..."

There was a pause while Brenna fumbled for the right words, but Marliss made a pfft noise as she rose and made her way for the 'fresher, leaving a smudge of grease in her wake. "It's the least I can do after I got engine grease all over your bed. Besides," she added with a smile at the brown-haired woman. "Isn't that what friends are for?"

Six hours later, Rex and the rest of Torrent Company found themselves scattered aboard a few LAAT/i transports, dropping into the pink-hued, upper atmosphere of Ord Mantell as the pilots searched for a suitable landing zone. By all accounts, Ord Mantell was a pretty world, rife with lush, green mountains and vast inland seas; there were only a few inhabited areas, but they were densely populated by locals and tourists alike, especially when compared to the outlying rural communities, which were few and far between.

Their destination, the Republic base, was in one of these areas, far away from any of the cities so not to hinder the planet's appeal to vacationers. Apparently, potential tourists didn't want to be reminded of the ongoing Wars.

The troop transport's whine seemed louder than it ever had before, and Rex was thankful for the dampers in his bucket that blocked the worst of the noise; however, there was nothing to be done for the turbulence that seemed common in Ord Mantell's atmo other than grasp the handles that dangled from the ceiling and try to keep his footing. Once, when the transport hit a particularly rough patch of air, Rex had to stop Tup from falling over by grabbing a hold of the trooper's belt.

"Hang on, Tup," he called through the internal comm channel.

The younger clone's reply was edged with embarrassment. "Sorry, sir."

There was more chagrin to his words than should have been there for such a minor lapse; such a tone had become more and more common among his men since Umbara. "It's okay, lad," Rex replied in a mild voice. "No need to apologize. Gravity affects all of us equally."

Tup nodded but didn't say anything more, and for a few minutes no one spoke at all over the comm channels, instead letting the distant, humming drone of the larty's engines fill the space. Rex shot a glance through the slotted sides of the transport, noting that he still couldn't make out the ground below and wondering how long it would be before they were able to land; the nature of the fly-zones over the cities made it damn near impossible to drop in like normal. Instead, precious minutes were wasted flying around as the pilot searched for an "acceptable" landing zone that wouldn't disturb the ordinary citizens.

To Rex's way of thinking, it was beyond foolish. Never mind the fact that there was a battle happening at this very moment, and every second that ticked by equaled more lives lost.

Beside him, Fives was shifting in place, his mannerisms indicating that the ARC was also anxious. After a moment, Rex heard the soft ding that indicated a private comm channel had been opened. "What's up, Fives?"

"You never told me how your 'not-date' went."

Rex rolled his eyes behind his visor. "This is hardly the time-"

"This is exactly the kriffing time," Fives protested. "It's not like we have anything else to do. Now come on: how'd it go?"

Not for the first time since he'd left her, Brenna's face came to his mind's eye and Rex frowned to himself. She had looked disappointed when he left, but he was uncertain as to why; she seemed to understand that his duty came first, but her expression indicated otherwise.

Finally he sighed. "It was...nice, I guess. She brought some civvie food – good stuff, not rations – and we ate. We talked a bit, too. But it got cut short when the general called me for this mission, so I had to leave."

Beside him, Fives' bucket tilted in an almost imperceptible nod. "And?"

"And what?"

"When are you going to see her next?"

At this, Rex frowned again. "I don't know, Fives. I didn't...that is..." He sighed and resisted the urge to remove his helmet and rub at his forehead. "I had to go, so I left. We didn't make...further plans."

There was a beat of silence, then Fives let loose a string of multi-lingual swears that were new even to Rex, adding: "I thought you liked her?"

"I do like her," Rex replied, puzzled at the ARC's attitude. "But as I said, I had to go."

Fives gave a dramatic sigh. "And what did she think about that?"

Thinking over the moment, Rex shook his head. "She seemed...disappointed, I guess. But I didn't get to talk to her about it, because I didn't have time to linger. Why are you so bent out of shape?"

"For Force's sake, Rex," Fives said, turning his visor so that he was facing the captain. "If you just walk out like that...well, it's like saying that you don't want to see her again. You can't just leave without at least giving her some kind of assurance that you'd like future contact."

A flash of chagrin swept through Rex, causing his hand to tighten over the dangling handle; beneath his boots he could feel the vibration of the LAAT/i's engines. "Fives, I'm a soldier," he said after a moment, thinking of Brenna and her daughter. "I don't really have much of a future to offer her, or anyone else."

"You of all people should know differently," the ARC replied in an irritated voice that grew more insistent as he continued to speak. "You're a man, remember? Not just a clone and not just a soldier."

There was a pause that Rex took to be deliberate, so that the words could sink in. When Fives spoke again, the irritation had fled, replaced with a odd mixture of exasperation and affection. "Look, from where I'm standing, a pretty girl that you admit to liking also likes you and – for some unknown reason – wants to spend her limited free time with you. Brother, if you let this chance pass, you're an idiot."

With that, the ARC gave a huff and silenced the comm channel, leaving Rex alone with his thoughts. It hadn't occurred to him that Brenna might read a snub in his actions, but the realization only served to highlight just how vast the differences were between the two of them.

Each interaction that he had with Brenna, while enjoyable, gave him further proof that their worlds were just too different to comfortably intersect. In many ways, the distinctions were even more notable than those between the clones and the Jedi; at least those two groups were bound by the common experience of the Wars, and with the earlier years of their lives spent cloistered away from the rest of the galaxy in rigorous training.

As a civilian, Brenna Damaris was unused to violence of any kind. Based on her reaction to the skirmish on Ithor, he doubted she'd even seen a battle-droid before - or held a blaster, for that matter.

It was intriguing that she seemed to know a little bit of Mando'a, though, and he wondered if she was simply observant, or had spent more time around clones that he'd reckoned. Anyway, it didn't matter, because she also had a daughter, and an extended family who very likely loved and missed her while she was away. She deserved someone with a strong future, someone who had something to offer besides a impeccable aim and half a normal life-span.

The understanding hit him harder than it should have: whatever it was that had sprung up between them shouldn't keep progressing. Whether or not she liked him, it simply wasn't fair to her – or, by extension, her young daughter.

Rex thought it was prudent not to wait any longer; since the larty was still circling he had a moment, so he withdrew a spare comlink from a pouch on his belt and was preparing to tap off a quick message to her, when the entire transport gave a violent shudder, causing him to tumble most ungracefully to his chest, the comlink clattering to the floor and out of his sight. Moments later, he felt his arms being lifted; looking up, he smiled to himself as Tup helped him to his feet.

"Gravity got you down, sir?" There was a grin in the younger clone's voice, which made Rex give a chuckle despite the other things on his mind.

"Looks that way," he replied as he righted himself and reached for a handle above his head. A scan of the floor of the transport revealed that the comlink was indeed gone; moments later he heard the pilot say that a suitable landing-zone had been found and they were beginning their descent. "Thanks for helping me up, Tup."

Tup gave a laugh. "Any time, Captain."

More background info about Brenna and her daughter; it was probably pretty clear that Iri's dad was a clone, but here's the confirmation and backstory. (So, does Bren have a "thing" for clones? :P)

The dynamic between Fives and Rex was a lot of fun to write. In some ways, Rex really does need someone to nudge him in the right direction, which Fives is more than happy to do.

This is silly, but I'm proud of the "gravity" joke. It comes up again. ;)

Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave a review!

Next time: seismic tank!