***

Rose sat in the darkness, hearing the music from down below. There was still an ache in her heart, her eyes were swollen from crying and her hands were still slightly trembling…but John had made her realize how much she loved the Doctor, loved him even if he didn't want her like that. It didn't mean that she would eventually leave the Doctor, or that she would come to resent him. All it meant was that she'd have to let go of that part of her heart. Let go and forget. She'd seen the end of the world many times, battled monsters and nightmares…she could learn to let go eventually.

There was a sound in the darkness as she looked to its source. She saw the Doctor standing next to the loveseat, looking down at her. Rose could feel her heart skip a beat, the beat that always skipped when he was near her. Maybe it wouldn't be that easy to forget, she reasoned, but she could learn to ignore it and push it away.

"Is this seat taken?" there was humor in his voice, but it was strained. Rose nodded and looked away from him. The Doctor sat down near her, his knee touching hers faintly. It was so little a gesture, but it felt magnified to Rose. It always did when he touched her.

"So," he started, "I've been looking for you." Rose could feel his eyes on her, but she didn't want to look at him. Didn't want to look to find his chocolate eyes staring at her, making her melt. It wasn't fair.

"Sorry," she murmured, "I didn't feel up to dancing after all." The lump in her throat refused to be swallowed.

The Doctor took her hand gently into his and held it, resting it on his leg, trailing over it with his fingertips. She looked down at their hands. The image made her eyes water once more. Why did he keep torturing her like this? She willed herself to move away from him, to realize that this was simply making the letting go, ignoring and pushing away that much harder. But she couldn't stop him from touching her. On the contrary, she wanted to savor it and sink in it.

***

Sitting there, holding Rose's hand in his…his fingertips exploring the curves and dips of her knuckles, he let the memories of his Eighth regeneration sink in. He'd come to this place near his end, though he didn't know then it was going to end. Now that he let himself think about it, it had actually been the Tardis that landed him at this place and time. He smiled at his ship's cleverness.

Never being one to be in a sea of people, especially if the majority were women who were ogling him, he had escaped to the second level of the house. Here, he had been hidden by the shadows. The music from the first floor brought back the feelings he had been swimming in when he first saw her come in.

Rose had been crying. It had been heart wrenching to watch. It was so painful. It hurt worse now knowing that it had been his fault her tears were falling.

He remembered watching her for a short time, her grace showing in what appeared to be her weakest state. The Doctor had felt then that leaving was really the best thing, but when he made way to do just that, go back to his Tardis, back to the universe…he looked back to her and felt that he couldn't. So instead, he walked back to the lonely, heartbroken blond, took out his handkerchief in the process and handed it to her.

Then there were half-smiles, sadness, an invitation…

Some dancing.

And then…

The Doctor looked at her just then, his fingertips stilled on her hand. Rose was looking out in front of her, just as she had done with his previous self. There was still so much sadness etched in her features, his hearts broke at the sight. His strong savior…taken down so low by the person she had saved so willingly time and time again, someone who had sworn to protect her. He'd hurt her so much. The Doctor knew she had chosen to stay with him…but for how long?

***