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Red Letter Days

Chapter 10

Son of a bitch! Sam craned his neck checking out the high painted ceilings, gold sconces and the huge chandelier hanging in the middle of the ballroom which was about the size of a football field. They were serving here? Way to go home and feel like ten times poorer. Did it smell different? Like flowery money?

"Damn!" Tina echoed his sentiment. "Rich people are rich."

"Tell me about it."

"No one this loaded deserves to be happy, leave something for the rest of us."

He couldn't agree more but the elderly couple who were having their fiftieth wedding anniversary here seemed really happy. Kissing where God and every body could see them, there had been tongue and an ass grab. It was gross in a really sweet way. "Oh! Oh!" He murmured glancing sideways at his partner in crime. "Megan is giving us the eye we'd better get moving."

Old hands at looking busy, they quickly moved from table to table laying out silverware, turning napkins into swans. On more than one occasion he caught the other waitstaff giving them the crazy side eye. Tina cheating the system and bumping them up to the A Team hadn't won them any friends. They'd been left out of group rehearsal, the team manager, Megan told them to pick a song and be ready to go on when they were called. No other information was imparted. It was nice to be making more money but the snide remarks directed at them all the time were getting more barbed. "They really hate us." He remarked as Jerry swung by bumping one of their tables so hard a chair tipped over, slamming into the floor.

"We've been hated before." Tina picked it up. "As long as they aren't carrying slushies, we'll be fine besides I don't care what they think."

He hoped to God that was true because a group of them sashayed past spitting a very unoriginal, 'Whore'. It was McKinley High all over again. "Come on," Sam directed as they finished up. "The guests will be arriving soon."

Once the ballroom started to fill up, they got really busy and while he was serving the same section as Tina was, he only caught the occasional glimpse of her refilling wine glasses, fetching and carrying. He was also kind of preoccupied with the florist's very pretty daughter, Emily so he lingered in the back more than he needed to. It was only when the whispers started to swell that he realized something was wrong.

"Oh my god, she's going to cry." One of the bitches cackled as he was reentering from the kitchens. "Ten bucks says she starts sobbing right in front of them."

He followed the source of their glee to a frozen Tina at a table that held Crazy Chef – and his wife. Fuck! She did look like she was going to cry. He had to get to her, Sam shoved his tray at harpy number one not caring whether she caught it or not. Tina spun round fleeing just as he took a step in her direction and he followed after her.

"Tina?' He called out as he tracked her down in the bathroom. "Open up!"

"No! I'm never leaving this stall." Her sniffling grew into tiny broken little sobs. "He said they never ever talked…as good as divorced…they didn't even look close to divorced. God, I'm such an idiot. I believed him…all…this…time." A loud metallic rattling filled the air. "And there's no toilet paper…oh god, I hate my life."

Sam rushed into the next stall bringing her one of the extra rolls. He rethought passing it to her under the door, she really might stay in there forever. "I got some. Open the door."

The latch snapped, door pushing open inch by inch, her rush of tears starting up again when she saw him. "I'm a frigging mistress…crying in a filthy bathroom." She wailed. "This would never happen to Olivia Pope."

"Are you kidding me? Olivia is constantly crying over Fitz," Sam ripped several handfuls of tissue off the toilet paper roll thrusting the white bundle at her. "Why do I know that? I hate that I know that. What have you done to me? No more Scandal." He admonished.

A curious head popped over his shoulder saying maliciously, "You thought you were special, didn't you?" Sam shoved her off him and the red headed girl stumbled back still laughing. Fucking mean girls. Santana 2.0.

"Fuck off, Amber!" He snarled throwing the half empty roll at her. "Nosy bitch!" He swore over the receding clacking of her heels. Turning back he surveyed the wreck that used to be his friend. "Tina, you cannot stay here."

With a one track mind, she focused on Crazy Chef. "He said they were separated officially, all that was left was to cross the T's and dot the I's…That asshole."

Finally, rage, Sam sighed relieved, rage he could work with, he would even help her kick their boss in the 'nads. Unfortunately, it only lasted a majestic second before she crumpled into yet another torrent of tears. Fuck! He had to get her out of here before they were called out – Fuck - the duet. Sam scrubbed his hands over his face. They were supposed to perform with their luck it was probably soon.

"Tina!" He shook her firmly. "We are supposed to go out in a few minutes. You wanted this, you pushed for 'Your all I need to get by' and I agreed even though I hate that fucking song. You've been looking forward to this all week; don't let that bastard ruin this for you. Okay?"

Tina simply blinked at him owlishly.

"What? What can I do?"

"I'm just waiting for you to break into Gloria Gaynor…I will survive, just turn around, now you're not welcome anymore…"

"Hilarious" He shoved her, happy that she was stepping back from the edge. "Fix your face. You look like you were run over by a truck filled with tiny raccoons that roundhouse kicked you – in the face."

"That's a terrible analogy."

"At least you're smiling so come on." Right on cue, Megan pushed in ordering them to the stage. He could tell she was disappointed not to find Tina a sobbing wreck in the toilet bowl. Bitch! Sam got them to stage on time. Tina was a little unstable on her feet and her voice wasn't as strong at some points but this wasn't sectionals. The crowd cheered when they finished, it was good enough for him. Now all they had to do was rip off the snazzy vests and get back to serving.

He switched tables with Tina but his were still 'adulterer and wife' adjacent, Crazy Chef kept staring at her and she was unraveling right in front of him, that damn lip wouldn't stop quivering. Sam counted down the hour, by the second and then by the minute, time had never passed slower but they made it. Sam ushered her out, dodging the clean up but hell they could take that out of their pay. Taking the service exit they were almost out the door when he called her name. It might have been the huge panicked eyes or that Tina looked about a second from caving and hearing the bastard out. God, where was his wife? He needed a freaking leash.

"Hey," Sam pulled her to a stop, brushing Tina's hair off her face he tilted her head upwards. "You trust me, right?"

"Of course."

"I'm going to do something. Just go with it." He whispered then he kissed her. It was intense in a way that only fake passion could be. "Now smile and act like we can't wait to get home and rip each other's clothes off." It worked. By the time he looked up, Crazy Chef was gone, the double doors swinging ominously behind him.

"Did you see the look on his face?" Tina collapsed against him relieved. "Oh Sam! You are the best bro a girl could ever have."

"You're okay." He hugged her. "We take care of each other remember?"

She nodded. "That was a hell of a kiss."

"I've had a lot of practice." She snorted, a sound that halfway through turned into a sob.

Holding her at arms length, Sam enticed. "Want to go home, get drunk and watch Family Guy reruns?"

She agreed leaving with him. "We are going to get fired, aren't we?"

"Definitely." He flung his arm over her shoulder and they made their way home.

ooOoo

In little over an hour, they'd gone through most of a bottle of Kahlua. Sam was adding ice to their glasses, arm braced on the counter to steady himself while Tina mumbled to herself on the couch. She veered from anger to tears, then she beat herself up a little, called herself a fool and he countered her arguments, sang with her when she broke out into empowering Beyonce songs. He had to take her phone away before the drunk dialing begun managing to switch it off without her noticing when Crazy Chef tried calling her. They could deal with the fallout in the morning.

Blaine's homecoming in the middle of that emotional chaos was met with some cheering, not a lot, but some. Sam was pretty sure it was mostly Tina, right before she knelt up on the cushions and began to explain how nobody liked morning sex, no matter how good you were at it.

Sam burst out laughing at the stunned look on Blaine's face. "She over-shares when she's drunk." He explained over a very detailed sex act that came with gestures and elaboration. "Give her a break. It's not every day you meet your boyfriend's wife and lose your job."

"How did that happen in one day?" He asked.

"Because boss and boyfriend were the same guy." Oh man! Maybe he over-shared too when he was drunk.

"What? You were sleeping with your boss, my god Tina." He whipped round advancing on Sam. "How could you let this happen?"

"What do you mean let it happen?"

"I'm not surprised by any of this; you are a big fan of people doing whatever they want with their bodies no matter who gets hurt."

"I didn't do anything." Why the hell was he defending himself? Sam wondered. "Tina's a big girl if she wants to swing on a D all night long. I'm not going to stop her."

"You're not going to stop her?" Blaine came at him, accusations falling hard and fast. "You know what Sam…Your whole 'nail it if it moves' philosophy may work for you but when will you stop for five minutes and realize that your actions hurt others?"

"This had nothing to do with me."

"It had everything to do with you and you can't even see that you are being a terrible influence on her. If you want to sleep with every girl in New York City then, that's fine – for you. Stop trying to drag all of us down with you."

"Well, you know what Blaine? Fuck you!" Sam slammed the glasses on the counter. "I'm so sick of your self-righteous crap. I take care of her and Artie and this place. Where are you? If you and your uptight ass want to be a better influence then be here." The double door slam was his only reply.

Tina popped up eying him blearily, "The fuck was that?"

"Nothing." Sam fell next to her passing her a glass and turned up the volume.

ooOoo

"Tina?" Blaine knocked thrice before pushing in. Wading through the mess on the floor, he approached the small curled up lump under the covers. "How are you feeling?" His voice dropped to a whisper as she groaned.

"Like death - took a crap - on my head."

How descriptive. "Can I get you anything?"

"Water, OJ…my dignity."

Blaine left returning with two glasses, he placed them on her bedside table nudging her. "Here you go. Water and juice. I can't help you with the third."

She poked out an arm reaching blindly for the glasses, Blaine grabbed one pressing it into her hand before she knocked them both over. Hand and glass disappeared beneath the covers then she slowly emerged like a turtle from its shell. Blaine took a step back as he got a good look at her face. Blotchy and streaked with makeup she looked like a Jackson Pollack but her eyes – her eyes were swollen shut. Could she see at all? Stepping forward he waved in front of her face.

"I can see you." She took another long swallow then gave a very heartfelt, "Thank you."

Blaine perched at the edge of her bed and she scooched over making more room for him. In silence, he traded one glass for another, Tina wrinkling her nose as she chugged the cold orange juice. She looked about twelve - and battling a hangover which was disturbing. "How come you didn't tell me about this guy?" He wondered, leaning back on her headboard stretching out his legs. "Didn't we used to be closer?" He could remember when they used to be best friends, now Tina was closer to Sam and they were living a life he could barely comprehend. Both of them were changing too fast for him to keep up.

"It's impossible to tell you anything when you're never here, and – and when you show up, you're like twelve stories behind. There's never enough time to catch you up."

"Fair enough but 'I'm dating my married boss' should be the first thing you say when I come through the door, heck it deserves a Bat signal all on its own." This was partly his fault; he'd been so happy that she wasn't with Sam that he never asked about her boyfriend. "Did you love him?"

"No, I loved having him. It's just – he is this big scary guy. He can be loud and arrogant, on one of our dates, he didn't just send the food back, he made the waiter cry, then he forced his way into the kitchen and prepared the meal himself and they let him – " She snuffled. "Yes I know, he's a total asshat but he was never that way with me, he wanted me. I thought that meant something – " She groaned the sound distorted by the pillow pressed to her face. "Hubris, much?"

Blaine patted the pillow awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

"I will be okay after all my tear ducts dry up." She tossed the pillow aside, rallied. "Now it's your turn to spill. What is up with you and Kurt? Before you make up another lame excuse it's pretty obvious that you're miserable and it's becoming toxic." Blaine slipped onto his back her words hitting him hard. "Sweetie…you attacked Sam. You crossed a line. None of this was his fault."

Blaine knew he had acted irrationally. Having a bad day wasn't an excuse. "Was it that bad?" A huge part of him was hoping he hadn't reacted as badly as he remembered. He didn't exactly regret saying what he said. All that stuff had been festering inside of him ever since Sam brought the first girl home but it wasn't ever supposed to come out – not like that. And while he might have fallen asleep with his convictions fired by fury, he woke up empty and a little afraid that he'd driven Sam away especially since Sam had already left presumably with Artie or someone else. It was the worst feeling in the world thinking that Sam was somewhere out there hating him.

"It was a freaking drive-by." Tina confirmed his fears.

"He'll forgive me." Blaine hoped. Sam couldn't hold a grudge to save his life.

"When will you forgive yourself?"

Right! Relationship disaster. They all knew. "It's hard to explain."

"Try."

With a heavy heart, Blaine tried. "I pushed and manipulated Kurt until he took me back. I know he loves me and I used it to sell him this pipe dream about marriage and forever. What can I possibly say to him now? I thought I loved you, turns out I was wrong. Good luck with the rest of your life that I wrecked. I don't get to do that and move on like we never happened. He broke up with Adam for me. All this time and he could have been happy, but Adam's moved on. He's seeing someone else and they are really hot and heavy. NYADA is pretty small…we keep bumping into them…Kurt gets this look on his face every time he sees him…" Sighing, Blaine felt the weight of his shame settle on his shoulders. "The worst part is I'm not even sure why I wanted him back so badly… It used to make sense to me; we were destined to be together forever. Do you have any idea how long forever is because I do…"

Tina squeezed his hand. "So what now?"

He couldn't break up with Kurt not after he'd made such a big deal about them being soulmates. Soulmates! God! How he now hated the idea of it. One perfect person for everyone? What a flawed concept! Was clinging to his sham of a relationship really better than being alone? "I'm going to stay with him for the rest of my life and if I never hear the words 'soul mate' or 'endgame' ever again, it will be too soon."

"Are you serious?" The bed dipped as Tina rolled to her side staring at him with alarm.

Blaine couldn't look at her. Honestly, it was tempting to continue to do nothing and let the relationship dissolve on its own. Kurt would break up with him eventually. And when he did Blaine would move on too. It wasn't like he still lived in a nowhere town in Ohio, this city was teeming with thousands of out and proud gay men. He knew without arrogance or pride that he could meet someone else. He could be happy again even without - Sam.

Much as he wanted him, Sam wasn't an option for him, continuing to pine over him was futile because one of these days one of the many women he continually met would stick. He would fall in love. All Blaine had to look forward to was a lifetime as a sidekick/best friend. He would be the one to stand beside him when he got married, be in the waiting room when he had his first child…an endless cycle of misery, of waiting on the fringes of Sam's life, watching but never participating awaited him if he didn't find somebody else.

"Blaine?" A deeper shade of worry crept into her voice. "You are going to break up with him, right?"

He wanted to tell her that it wasn't that simple. He was struggling with the decision to end his relationship even if it was the right thing to do. Kurt was his first love; he'd planned on him being his last. Now the future was wide open and just a little bit scary. "I will, as soon as I figure out what to say."