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Chapter Nine
After the epic fail that was cow tipping, combined with the killer hangovers we were all suffering from, the thought of spending another night in the woods held little interest for any of us. Plus, in a couple of hours when the sun started heating up, Jasper was going to start smelling ripe.
As we moved about the campsite collecting all of our belongings I looked longingly at the tent that never was. Edward came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"You know, we can stay if you want," he said, placing a kiss on my neck before wrinkling his nose.
I sniffed, wondering what he was making a face about when I smelled it. Shit. Again. I looked down and noticed that my right shoe was covered in cow shit. I sighed.
"Do I even want to know?" I asked resigned.
"I couldn't tell you if you did." He laughed. "But unless you plan on walking without shoes the rest of the time we're here and bathing in that creek, I guess our camping trip is over."
"Let's pack it up then. I'll even throw my shoes in the back of the truck if you promise we can smoke on the way home. I need this headache to go away," I whined.
"Well, there are other ways to relieve a headache," he said, leering at me with a playful sneer before pulling a face. "Ouch." He laughed quietly. "Even that shit hurt. So, yeah. We can smoke until our heads float off if you want."
Rose seemed more sluggish than the rest of us, dragging everything she picked up behind her like Linus on Charlie Brown. And poor Alice was doing most of the heavy lifting for her and Jasper since he was hiding out in his truck probably dying a slow death of mortification. He really should just get over it, I mean what's a little piss in the pants amongst friends.
After everything was packed away we all copped a squat, at least that's what Emmett called it, and shared a little more of Edward's killer bud. We tried to piece together what had happened the night before but it seemed that moonshine doubles as a mind eraser as well.
"Why do I keep remembering something about a purple cow?" I asked confused. Why in the hell was I thinking about purple cows.
"Maybe your thinking about that D12 song Purple Pills?" Alice asked causing me to snort.
"You know that song?" I asked amused. I really hadn't noticed the kind of music Alice listened to, but I couldn't picture her shaking her money maker to D12.
"Oh yeah, Alice is a regular Too Short." Jasper chuckled. Apparently the weed had loosened him up some. We laughed when Alice flipped us off and decided to call it a day and head out.
I flung my shoes in the back of the truck and dug out the extra pair of shorts I brought before hopping in the cab of the truck next to Edward. As we pulled out of the woods I decided that this weekend was not going to be a complete bust for me, there was still sex to be had. I noticed Edward had sort of zoned out so I took the opportunity to unbutton my pants and start sliding them down my legs.
Suddenly, we hit a bump and I was flung forward in the seat causing me to smack my head on the windshield before falling into the floorboard of the truck with my jeans tangled around my knees.
"What the fuck, Edward!" I yelled struggling to grab on to the seat and dashboard to balance myself. When I looked up I noticed the truck had stopped and we were actually sitting on the side of the road. So it wasn't a bump in the road then. Looking to Edward I found him staring at me, his lips slightly parted and his glazed eyes staring down at me.
It was then that I realized I was on my knees, my hand practically on his junk, with my pants half way down my legs. I looked up at him through my lashes and smirked.
"See something you like?" I asked, playing up the fact that we were both high so it didn't sound nearly as corny as it normally would have.
He licked his lips then asked, "Bella, not that I'm complaining, but why the fuck are you taking your pants off?"
I huffed, feeling completely stupid that my attempt at seduction had failed so miserably. Pushing myself back into the seat and going ahead and yanking my pants the remainder of the way off I turned to Edward who's mouth was hanging open just a bit.
"I just thought, that maybe, if you got another glimpse at the goods we could forgot about what a complete failure last night turned out to be and get the focus back on what's really important." I finished in exasperation waiving my arms overhead.
"And what important thing do we need to refocus our attention on, Bella?"
And holy fucking shit, that was not Edward's usual voice. It had dropped, sounding smooth and dark like melted fucking chocolate. It made me want to run my tongue across every surface of his body to see if he tasted as sinful as he sounded. I looked up meeting his eyes which were considerably clearer, noticeably darker, and just plain begging for me to fuck him into next week.
"The sex," I breathed, inching closer to him as he began running his hands up my thighs and spreading my legs in the process.
"What sex, Bella?" he whispered lowering his face to my neck and blowing his warm breath across my skin as his hand caressed my upper thigh, his thumb sweeping down between my legs over my panties. He moved his thumb up and down once more, adding a little more pressure, teasing me until I was so turned on that I could feel myself throbbing in my chest. As his lips descended on my skin and his other hand cupped my boob, he pressed his thumb into my panties directly over my pulsing clit. He rolled his thumb over it a few passes more before I heard angels singing hallelujah.
Never in my life have I come so fast or so hard in my entire life. I felt like a thirteen year old boy blowing his load during his first wet dream. But I honestly could give a fuck less at this point because Edward was still kissing my neck and whispering dirty words into my ear as I came back from sweet sweet bliss.
"The sex," I sighed, "that we should have had last night. We should really see about getting to that as soon as possible."
I moved my hand over his stomach and down the front of his pants when a car passed by and the driver laid on the horn. We both jumped and looked to see Emmett, or at least his ass pressed against the window of the passenger door. We both laughed, the moment becoming awkward because Emmett had a hairy fucking ass. Hairy ass can ruin a moment for a person.
"Why do I have the feeling that will not be the last time I see Emmett's ass?" I asked as I shook my head.
Edward adjusted himself and cleared his throat, handing me my shorts.
I sighed pathetically as I realized there was not going to be any sex. I wasn't sure how much longer I could put up with this shitty fate I was dealt. I wanted the sex. The constant bulge in his pants led me to believe he definitely needed the sex.
Dear God. I know this isn't what a normal person would be praying for, but goddammit, I want that cock so bad-
"Why are you huffing?" Edward asked, cutting off my prayer. It was probably for the best.
Grabbing my shorts I asked, "So, no sex then? That's it?"
"Hairy ass does that to a person," he said seriously before looking out his window to pull back out on the road.
Edward helped me carry my things to the door once we finally made it to my house and told me he had to work tomorrow..
"I have to work tomorrow too, but feel free to stop by and distract me whenever you...get off."
"That'd be nice," he said with a smirk. "I'll see what I can do, Clingy."
I scoffed. "Clingy? No way. I was just-"
"Wanting to spend your every second with me?" he raised his eyebrows before bursting out in laughter.
"Well. You; the weed. Same thing, right?" I sassed.
"Does the weed get you off?" he countered, stepping closer to me.
Fucker.
He had me on that one.
"Did I finally out-banter the banter queen? I've never heard you be this quiet before. Talk. Pockets? You're scaring me," he fake pleaded, yanking on my hand.
"What are the chances of you fucking me on this porch right now?"
Edward choked a laugh before running his hand through his hair.
"Didn't think so. I'll see you Monday," I quipped giving him a quick kiss before pulling out of his grip as he tried to keep me in place. Running straight up the stairs and to the shower I removed the remaining debris and shit from my body and fell into bed, not moving again until the next morning.
Sunday passed by with work and little else. Emmett wasn't there so it was rather uneventful and completely boring.
Edward didn't stop by after he got off from work. I chalked that up to him having a raging boner since day one and had decided to spend his time locked away jerking it. That thought was shot to hell when he sent me a text saying he had to help his mom haul dozens of cakes to the church for the annual cake walk, but that he'd pick me up for school Monday. I didn't know what he was talking about. Who the fuck walks on cakes? I'd have investigate that shit later.
When I hopped into Edward's truck Monday morning I was met with with a kiss and a smile. So much better than a Coke.
"You ready for the game Friday?"
"I'm not really that into high school football." I shrugged and shoved part of a Nutri-Grain bar in my mouth, handing Edward half.
"Okay. I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that," he said slowly before accepting the breakfast bar, but not without shaking his head.
I side-eyed him as I chewed slowly.
Edward quickly got over his disdain for my not giving a fuck about shitty high school football and blurted out, "Go to the homecoming dance with me."
"Screw that," I deadpanned.
"It'll be fun."
"No. I don't do dances," I said seriously because fuck that. "Why do you look genuinely shocked right now? Do I look like the type to get dressed up, wear a corsage and drink fucking punch?"
"Come on Bella, it'll be fun."
"No. Just..no," I said crossing my arms over my chest letting him know this conversation was over.
He eyed me for a second before smiling at me in a way that got me hot and bothered. Like, seriously bothered because that smile let me know this discussion was far from over.
"We'll see."
Yep, just like I thought. Fucker.
School passed much like the last few weeks with the exception of the pep rally on Friday since it was a home game. People were dressed in school colors, some had their faces painted, some even work headgear like the mascot. See, just like I said before- bat shit crazy.
Edward was helping the guys do some things after school, so I hitched a ride home with Alice and Rose who decided we should all get ready together for the game. I still didn't see the big deal, but Rose said she had a surprise for us at her house and that was incentive enough for me.
Alice and I plopped down on Rose's bed while she rummaged around in her closet looking for God knows what.
"So, tonight should be interesting," Alice mused.
"And why is that?" I asked, if she was making the effort to chit chat then it must be good.
"Because the condom tamperer will be at the game tonight and this will be the first time she's been around you outside of school since the bonfire," Alice stated, but something in her tone let me know she was leaving something out.
"And?"
"Hold the fuck up!" Rose shouted from the depths of her closet causing Alice and I to jump.
"What the hell Rose, are you snorting a line in there cause you sound fucking manic," I said leaning over the side of the bed to try and see her. I mean, if she was getting geeked up she seriously needed to share.
Rose came out of the closet giving me the side eye before sitting on the floor in front of the bed.
"No, Bella. I'm not on shit right now. I just want to see your face when Alice tells you the 'rest of the story'," she finished in a deep voice sounding like Paul Harvey. I miss that guy. Charlie used to get high and listen to him. There are so many things I will never know the rest of the story about.
"Well," Alice drawled fingering her hair as Rose leaned in closer, a huge fucking smile on her face. "We overheard her today in gym telling some of her friends that she was asking Edward to the homecoming dance, and since they had such an awesome time last year there's no way he wouldn't want a repeat," she finished with a raised eyebrow. Rose still had that creepy smile of anticipation on her face that was seriously starting to wig me out.
I leaned back on my elbows trying to work out exactly what was going through my mind. I mean, obviously it would be a cold fucking day in hell before that has-been bitch laid a finger on Edward. What I couldn't figure out was what pissed me off more, the thought of her and Edward together or that she was totally disregarding the fact that we were obviously together. Even though we hadn't declared anything, she didn't know that, so basically she was being a boyfriend stealing whore that would have to be fitted with a pair of cement shoes instead of stilettos.
"No fucking way," I said as I stood up. I was getting angrier the more I thought about it. I'm not a jealous person, so it had to be the fact that she was disrespecting me. Yeah, that was totally it. Rude disrespectful bitch.
"Well, what are you going to do?" Rose asked, eyes all alight and shit. You'd think it was fucking Christmas.
"Hmm." I tapped my chin thinking of how I should handle this situation. "I think I'll play this one by ear, girls. She may give me all the inspiration I need when I see her tonight. Now what the hell were you rooting around in that closet for?" I asked sitting back down on the bed.
She pulled a huge ass mason jar from behind her back that was a pretty soft peach color. I had a feeling the color was deceiving and what was in that jar was anything but soft.
"Peach moonshine!" she beamed. "My cousin brought it over last night when he came with his folks for dinner. But he did warn me not to drink this while around anything flammable and, by the looks of his charred eyebrows, I say we should probably listen to him."
She opened up the jar and I swear I saw her hair blow back from the force of the alcohol escaping the jar. Holy fuck. She took a small sip before coughing a strangled 'holy shit!'.
We passed the jar around as we sat in the floor and cut up and laughed. Finally deciding in our drunken states it was going to take much longer to get ready than normal we put the yummy peaches away and got ready for the game.
"Emmett!" I yelled across the parking lot of the school as we stumbled out of our car giggling. His head whipped around with a huge grin on his face as he took in the sight of the three of us.
"Rose," he scolded, walking over to us, "Did you drive here?" Uh oh, somebody's in trouble.
"Nope," she replied immediately, hooking her thumb towards me. "Bella did." Say huh?
"Uh, Rose, I definitely didn't drive. Maybe Alice?" I asked and looked over towards the car where Alice was...what the fuck was Alice doing? She was on the roof on the car with a jacket, maybe, under her ass sliding down the back windshield.
"...weee, it's like a slide!" she giggled before falling over on her side. So hoping Alice wasn't the one who drove.
Rose made a surprised face clapping both hands to her cheeks like that kid from Home Alone. "Great Scott Bella! The time machine worked!" She clapped her hands together before hooking her arm though mine and walking towards the field leaving poor Emmett standing there confused. I couldn't blame the guy, I didn't know what the hell was going on either, but Rose had the peach stuff so I was going with her.
"So, what are we supposed to do here?" I asked swaying, because honestly I had never been to a high school football game before.
"Well, some kids hang out behind the bleachers over there," she pointed to the far side of the bleachers where smoke could be seen wafting up in the air. "Some people just make loops around the field making sure that everyone sees them when they pass," she said again pointing at a group of girls already en route.
"What do we do?" I asked because neither one of those options sounded very appealing.
"We sit in the bleachers in the back over there and watch the fucking game," she said, leaving no room for argument. "And tonight we watch the game while drinking peach moonshine." Well I could get behind that shit.
We stumbled over to the bleachers where Jasper and Edward were already sitting. Behind us we could hear Emmett trying to drag Alice over without causing a scene.
"Hey," Edward said scooting over making room for me. "What the hell is wrong with Alice?" he asked, laughing as Emmett drug her up the steps.
"There's nothing wrong with Alice, she's just Peachy," I said, laughing. Edward gave me a funny look before he leaned over and gave me a kiss. He pulled back and licked his lips before smirking.
"Ah, peaches. I get it now," he said before smacking Rose on the arm.
"Hey-" she started before Edward cut her off.
"You know better than to give Alice moonshine when she has to be in public. It's the only thing we've found that really fucks her up," he said shaking his head, but he was smiling so I knew he thought that shit was funny too. Plus it wasn't like he would have to deal with her or anyone else in her state.
The game started and I listened as Edward explained the teams, positions and penalties. It all sounded very sexual to me, and it was totally hot listening to Edward get so into it. Rose and I continued to pass the jar back in forth through the first half of the game.
"I fucking love football!" I shouted as our team scored a touchdown putting us ahead half way through the fourth quarter. That's right, I knew what a touchdown was, gimme six bitch!
"Bella," Edward laughed pulling me back down, "you ready to get out of here?"
"Fuck no! The game's still going," I said waiving my arm towards the field as I tried not to fall off the bench.
"Unless...are we going to have sex?" I asked excited at the thought. "Cause if we are finally gonna do it then we need to get the fuck outta here right now," I said, standing. Rose and Alice were laughing their asses while the guys sat there looking at us with part amusement part annoyance.
"So serious," I said putting my hands on Edwards cheeks and squeezing his lips together like a fish.
"C'mere," he said standing and pulling my body flush with his. Ohhhh, sex it is then.
It seemed everyone was in agreement for the sex so we stumbled down the bleachers towards the parking lot when someone rudely stepped into our path.
"Condom Tamperer." I laughed. "I was wondering when you would come poking around. Poking." I laughed again as Rose grabbed onto my arm and pulled herself to stand beside me.
She gave me a nasty look before turning towards Edward and plastering a smile on her face. Imma 'bout to fuck this bitch up.
"I actually just need to talk to Edward for a minute, so if you don't mind-"
"Oh I fucking mind," I said moving to step in between her and Edward. I'll be damned if this bitch was going to put herself in between me and Edward, literally or figuratively.
"I wasn't actually asking for your permission," she said sarcastically putting her hand on her hip.
Dear God, in my most inebriated state I ask you to please give me the strength not to cut this bitch. I've been to jail; I didn't like it. And I still need to have sex with Edward. Thanks, er...Amen.
I reached behind me and palmed Edward's junk causing him to jump and let out a surprised choking laugh. Maggie's eyes widened as she looked down at my hand.
"You see this?" I asked giving him a little squeeze for emphasis, plus well it was nice. "This is mine. You are not to think about it, look at it, or do anything that would remotely piss me off about it." I said moving closer to her without removing my hand. I could hear all the guys behind me laughing, I think Edward was holding my hand in place on his junk, but I couldn't be sure.
"If you do, I will pussy punch you so hard your kidneys will fall out your ass." I threatened before flinching towards her causing her to fall back. I laughed and gave Edward one more good squeeze before letting go, for now.
"Fuck pissing on his leg Bella," Alice said as we stumbled drunk as shit along the edge of the hill overlooking the creek down below. "You just fucking tattooed your name across his dick!" She laughed and I flinched towards her like I was all bad ass and shit; which caused me to lose my balance.
And then I was flying. Or tumbling. Or rolling. I don't know, but I was fucking moving down a big fucking hill and could do nothing to stop my self. I heard the others shouting but there wasn't shit I could do but hang on until I hit the bottom.
My body slammed into something hard, fuck if I knew what it was, causing me to finally stop my roly-poly impersonation, which made me laugh because what the fuck was I talking about. Which is how Edward found me seconds later. His hands were frantically moving over my face as I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. Only I could flinch at someone and end up being the one on their ass.
"Bella, fuck, are you okay?" he asked moving my hair from my face. "Shit!" he shouted pulling his hand away from my face. "Someone call 911 she's bleeding from her head." He yanked his shirt over his head and pressed it to my forehead. Now, I realize he said I was bleeding but, holy fuck, he did not need to be getting naked in front of me right now.
"Your body is fucking beautiful Edward," I said reaching out to run my hand along his abs. He laughed at me and grabbed my hand with his free one.
"Well, at least we know there's no brain damage. Your one track mind is still fully functioning," he said pulling my hand to his mouth and placing a kiss on my palm.
"Seriously Pockets, you scared the shit out of me," he whispered pulling me into his arms and standing up. He carried me up the hill just as the ambulance's flashing lights came into view. Ah shit. I did not need an ambulance, it didn't even hurt.
"Edward, it's really not a big deal, lets just get in your truck and go park somewhere," I slurred feeling a little more drunk than I had earlier. Probably because my body was just shaken around like a damn martini.
"Bella, you look like you just stepped out of a fucking horror movie. You're bleeding everywhere," he said pulling his shirt away and showing it to me for emphasis. It was pretty bloody. "You're gonna need stitches, so come on lets go."
After much protesting on my part and some arguing between Emmett and Edward about who was riding with me in the ambulance we were off.
When we got to the emergency room it was pretty packed. They put me on a bed in the hall and told me to lie down and someone would be with me soon. Soon still hadn't happened half an hour later and between the moonshine and the blood loss I was fucking hammered. And apparently in the mood for karaoke. Maybe my singing would help me get out of here sooner.
"Millions of peaches, peaches for me. Millions of peaches, peaches for free. Cause I gotta lump, lump, it's on my head." I laughed as Edward shook his head.
Emmett walked up to the side of my bed laughing, "You realize they're gonna kick your ass outta here if you don't quit that terrible singing."
"Pfft. Someone better get their ass out here right now. I swear to fuck, if my face gets fucked up from their poor ass response time I'm going to report them. To someone!" I said loudly drawing a few stares my way. Good.
"Where's everyone else?" I asked Emmett noticing it was just the three of us.
"Jasper took them to get some food and try and sober up, we thought it'd be easier containing just one of you," he said, eying me.
Just then a woman walked up to us giving me an annoyed look. The fuck?
"I'm Dr. Tanya Denali, I'll be giving you your stitches," she said with distaste. Uh, no you will fucking not. This woman did not want to do this shit, I could tell. She looked too fucking young to be a doctor. There was no fucking way some scrub was sticking a needle through my face. Plus, she had this really big fucking mole on her chin that had hair growing out of it like a fucking Chia Pet.
"Excuse me?" she asked looking shocked while Edward and Emmett snickered behind her.
"What?" I asked, playing innocent because I might have just sang the Chia Pet song. That shit's catchy. "I have a head injury, I don't know what I'm saying."
What happened next was all a blur, probably because that bitch decided that it would be better to stitch me up without numbing the area causing my ass to black out from the pain. The next thing I knew she was gone, I had a patch on my forehead, and everywhere hurt like a motherfucker.
"Why the hell am I not surprised?" Jane's amused voice forced me to open my eyes.
"Jane! I've never been happier to see you," I slurred. "How do I look?" I batted my lashes before the batting turned into full on twitching.
"Like you just stepped out of a horror film," she said and I swear to God, fucking deja vu. Hasn't I heard that before? That shit is too creepy for my simple mind to comprehend. "That has got to hurt." Jane crossed her arms.
"Well, it doesn't feel good. Especially since Dr. Chia fucked me without any lube."
"Doctor...and what?" Jane asked in confusion but laughed anyway because she knew this was about to get good.
"That blond bitch with the hairy mole stitched me up without numbing the area!"
"And she tried to shave Bella's head before Edward threatened to remove her mole with the razor she was holding," Emmett piped up from behind her.
"What exactly happened, anyway? I'm going to need a good story for my smoking circle later tonight," Jane said while crossing her arms over her chest.
"It all started when Bella said she was going to pussy punch the condom tamperer," Emmett said a little too excitedly.
Jane rolled her eyes. "Ah, the beginning of a great story. Go on."
"So, Bella was pissing on Edward's leg-"
"No I fucking did not!" I snapped. Because I wasn't that drunk. Fuck.
"Not literally," Emmett explained with a devious smile. "Anyway..." he continued as I kind of zoned out as he finished the story with my Humpty Dumpty fall. At this point, Jane was doubled over in laughter and Emmett looked pleased as a peacock for being able to tell the story again.
"So you-" Jane gasped trying to catch her breath, "fell all the way down the hill before slamming into a tree. And this is after you molested your boyfriend in front of half she school," she said, wiping her eyes.
"Yup." Emmett said, "Cause that's how she rolls...literally," he bellowed before walking down the hall.
"That's the best thing I've heard all week," Jane said seriously. "I mean, I'm glad you're okay. But...pussy punch?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'd like to see what you'd come up with after drinking peach moonshine. I thought I was classy too before the dick gropes and the pussy punches."
"You're lucky I'm a down ass chick and not going to tell Charlie about this."
"Down ass chick?" I snorted. Yeah. I guess she was. "Hey, Jane?"
"Yeah, kid?
"Hook a sista up. To an IV. Please? Since you're a down ass chick and all."
"I would if I could. I have to get back to work. The crazies need me. I just wanted to come by and see you so I can use this against you in the future."
"Damn. You're kind of evil. But I like it."
"Eh, I have my moments." Jane smirked before leaving.
I sat by myself for ten minutes, wondering if those fuckers up and left me. I should've spent that time reflecting on what the hell I did and why I drank so much, but instead, I sang the lyrics to Dune Buggy and laughed my ass off. Yeah. By myself.
Edward finally turned the corner and shook his head. "Maybe we should have you admitted while we're here."
"You would try to get rid of me."
"Nah. You're too amusing. I think I'll keep you around a little longer," Edward said as he sat on the edge of the bed.
Was fucking in hospitals allowed? I didn't see why not. This place was sterile.
"So, I was thinking." Edward stared me down, wrapped his fingers around my hand and said, "Since you publicly claimed my dick and everything, I figured the least you could do is go to the dance with me."
"Aw, fuck. You're doing this now? When I'm drunk and all...just...fucking wanting your dick?"
"Well. Yeah."
"Fine. You know what? Fine. I'll go to the stupid dance. But I better get some action from you." I warned.
"I think I can help you out with that." He laughed. "Let's get you out of here," he said helping me up.
I signed all the necessary papers, thank fuck I was eighteen, and headed home.
Getting past Charlie was a little more difficult than I expected. Either dude was really serious about me straightening my ass out or he was out of weed and had nothing better to do than hover over me. Either way he relented that it was entirely possible for me to go ass over elbows down a hill completely sober.
The entire next week of school was pretty much a retelling of my epic pussy punch speech and my rumble tumble down the hill. I had hoped it would blow over much sooner, but in a town where nothing ever happens, even the most mundane things tend to hold people's attention much longer than it should.
My bright spot to this shit show was how the condom tamperer avoided me at all times. I started following her at one point just to see what she would do, after her third attempt to hide in the janitor's closet I felt comfortable that she got the fucking message and left her the fuck alone.
The next week was the week of the dance and these people acted like they lost their fucking minds. The girls were going on and on about this shitty dance and all the guys talked about was the game and then fucking the crazy girls after said dance. I mean, why not skip the shitty dance in the gym with the cheap ass crepe paper from Party City and go straight for the fucking? God, how I hope I get to go straight to the fucking. It's been two and a half months since I first laid eyes on Edward and I want him. So fucking bad.
I've accepted that something is different here, with him. I'm not entirely sure what that different is or if I'm okay with it, but I've decided I'm just going to go with it and see what the fuck happens.
The night of the dance Alice and Rose come to my house to get ready, sans moonshine. We figured we'd at least attempt to be somewhat coherent since we would be in a confined space with adults. Not that we were going to be completely sober, because fuck that. There's no way I'll get through this sober.
After a little smoke and a lot of primping, which was not nearly as bad when I was high, we waited for the guys to come get us. We were all riding separate for obvious reasons. We were totally going to have sex.
All of the guys showed up around the same time as Jane and Charlie, who seemed surprised and pleased that I was going somewhere that the dancing didn't involve a pole. He also seemed much more mellow which confirmed my suspicions that he was out of weed. As I walked out the door past Jane she gave me a little fist bump and told me that Charlie's script had been refilled and I should try to behave with an exaggerated wink. Jane was dope, of this I was certain.
"You look nice Pockets," Edward said pulling me towards his truck.
Yeah, he looked pretty fucking nice too. This wasn't a formal dance, just the kind where you got to put on one of your cuter dresses that were too dressy for everyday wear. Edward was wearing black dress pants and grey button down shirt, sans tie. And he looked fucking delicious.
He helped me into the truck and started off to the dance.
"Wait," I said loudly as we passed the school. Because, what the hell? "Where the fuck are we going?"
Edward grinned and said, "Camping. If that's cool with you? I mean, I know you had other plans for the evening and everything."
"So, you aren't forcing me to go to the fucking dance?" I asked, just to make everything fucking crystal clear.
"Screw that," Edward snipped with laughter. "Do I look like the type to get dressed up, wear a corsage and drink fucking punch?"
"You're an idiot. But a cool fucking idiot because I was about to write you off after tonight," I admitted. Or, lied. There was probably more truth in the latter.
"Don't try lying to me, Pockets," Edward chided.
"I can't believe you fucking planned all of this," I said.
Edward laughed and pulled my body closer to his. "I can't believe you fucking thought I actually wanted to go to the dance."
"Well. What was I supposed to think?"
He shrugged and grinned at me. "Maybe I just really wanted to see you in a dress."
"Edward I want to get naked with you, the dress really isn't that important." I deadpanned.
A laugh burst forth from Edward with a quiet 'fuck me' as his cheeks turned pink. He was so fucking sexy.
"That's the plan." I quipped happily, I might have bounced in my seat a little. Edward shook his head at me and squeezed my shoulder.
"So where are we going, crap I don't have any clothes with me. I don't want to mess this dress up. And what about you, you can't traipse through the woods like that," I said rapidly already trying to figure a way to sneak back into my house and swipe some clothes.
"Whoa, Bella, calm down." He laughed. "The girls decided to get ready at your house for a reason," he said and nodded to the back of the truck where I could see my backpack sticking up. Sneaky little bitches. I really loved those hookers. "And I have a change of clothes, too, so everything is fine. I even went ahead and set up the tent and cooler so we wouldn't have to worry about that when we got there."
I gave him a sly smile. "Eager much?" I asked smirking. The next thing I knew my hand was pulled to his junk and pressed firmly on his very hard bulge. Well, I guess that would be a yes then.
"What do you think?" he asked mirroring my thoughts. "If I jack off one more time I could probably receive a disability check for the damage I've done to my wrist." he said seriously, causing me to laugh.
"So why the dressing up then? Why not just tell me? You would have gotten a lot less resistance from me that way." I asked slightly confused.
"Uh..." he stuttered then cleared his throat. "I actually did plan on taking you to the dance," he said sheepishly. "Then I saw you in that fucking dress and it was all I could do not to hoist you up on that porch railing, rip off your panties, and fuck you right there like you'd asked me to," he said, his breaths sort of choppy.
And holy fucking shit, my heart was about to pound right the fuck out of my chest. I felt like I had just took a hit of speed the way my hands started to shake and all of my limbs felt kind of disconnected from the rest of my body. I noticed a bead of sweat had formed near my temple and all I could do was mouth 'fuck' as I tried to compose myself.
I looked over at Edward feeling a little crazed at his words, he must have noticed too, because whatever look I had on my face caused him to grip the steering wheel tightly and bite down harshly on his lower lip. He flexed his fingers and pinched his eyes together tightly before taking a deep breath.
"Bella," he said with a tremble in his voice. "For the love of God, please stop looking at me like sin and sex and heaven long enough for me to get us to the fucking campsite," he pleaded.
I licked my lips and shakily ran my fingers through my hair, trying to calm my racing pulse as I nodded my head. There has just been way too much build up and I think we were both about to explode.
"How much longer?" I asked fidgeting with the hem of my dress. I tried not to look at him, I really couldn't be held responsible for my actions if I did.
"About fifteen minutes?" he said like a question. "Distract me with something," he said leaning over to roll down his window some.
"Gimme a joint," I demanded holding out my hand. He gave a strange look before reaching into the ashtray and pulling out a half smoked joint.
"As worked up as we both are, we need something to dull our senses or we'll both be done within two minutes," I said lighting the joint and taking a long pull. He nodded his head in agreement as I handed the joint over to him.
Fifteen minutes later we reached the campsite and were both much calmer. We hopped out of his truck and he grabbed our bags before pulling me over towards the tent.
"Here," he said handing me my bag. "Go ahead and change into something else so you don't mess up your dress and I'll start the fire and get us some food." The rumble of my stomach agreed so I crawled into the tent to change, fucking munchies.
I decided there was no reason to get fully dressed again since I didn't plan on staying that way for long so I settled for the large t-shirt in my bag and grabbed the flip flops stuffed down in the side.
Edward had already changed and lit the fire when I came out. He looked over and me and smirked apparently understanding my lack of clothing and motioned for me to come over and sit with him. He pulled out some sandwiches and beers while I spread out the blanket and sat down.
We ate our food, sipping on the beers while we stretched out chatting about school and all kinds of other random shit. A few minutes later he leaned up on one elbow turning on his side to face me, his face serious. He reached out and grabbed the beer in my hand without looking away from me and threw it away from us.
Moving his hand to my hip he tugged my body closer to his, running his hand from my lower back to my neck and back down again. Without speaking he leaned over and touched his lips to mine moving his hand over my ass and down my thigh.
"Hey, Pockets," he whispered against my lips.
"Yeah?" I answered pathetically.
"I think we should move into the tent."
All I could mange to do was nod. Edward unzipped the tent and held it open as I crawled in and made myself comfortable.
He struggled with the zipper and I had to fucking laugh.
"Forget it," I whispered and grabbed the back of his shirt forcing him to lie next to me.
"Forgotten," he said with a laugh.
"Shut the fuck up, are you nervous?" I blurted out.
"No. What? No. I'm about to tear that pussy up," he said seriously and I burst into laughter. Like, ugly fucking laughter that probably made him question if he wanted to do this or not. "Are you done?" he asked with a smirk.
"Yes. Sorry. Let the fucking begin."
"You can stop talking now," Edward mumbled, bringing his mouth to my neck, causing my laughter to die down.
"Uh. Okay..." I whispered and closed my eyes as his hands traveled under my shirt and over my stomach. "Yeah. No talking. That works for me."
Edward kissed his way along my jaw, over to my lips as he lifted my shirt over my head. He sat up and, with one hand, pulled his shirt over his head before throwing it across the tent.
"Take these off," he murmured quietly, tugging at my underwear.
I pulled them down to my ankles as he grabbed a condom out of his shorts pocket. He looked back at me and gave me a small smile as he kicked off his shoes & pulled down his soccer shorts. He laid back down, next to me, and I pouted.
"I-"
He shushed me by bringing his hand between my legs.
"No foreplay," I managed to spit out as he slid one finger inside me, practically already on the verge of coming.
"You don't want the foreplay?" he asked, adding a second finger and fucker had to look all smug.
"No. No," I said, bucking into his hand. "We've been at the foreplay for two fucking months now."
"So. No foreplay then?" he murmured against my neck before nibbling on my ear.
"I just want you."
Edward smiled and said okay before hovering over me. I grabbed the back of his neck and he fell down onto his elbows before letting his body lay on mine.
He kissed me and whispered my name before pushing into me, causing me to suck in a breath.
I nodded, I have no idea why, and closed my eyes as he slowly pulled out then pushed back in.
"Fuck," he breathed before finding my lips. "Bella."
"Edward," I panted as he brought one arm underneath me, pulling me closer to him, causing me to arch my back. I brought my knee up, forcing him to push deeper and he groaned as he grabbed my boob with his other hand.
"Fuck," I moaned as I held on to his shoulders, feeling the muscles in his back contract with each of his thrusts. "You're so fucking hot. Why are you so hot?" I panted because I really wanted to fucking know.
Edward let out a throaty laugh and rolled over, staying inside me, which I was really fucking thankful for. He kept his hands on my hips as I began rocking against him, watching as he closed his eyes.
"Damn," he whispered and opened his eyes to watch me ride him. "Are you close?" he asked and I nodded, biting down on my lip, causing him to groan again.
He brought his thumb to my clit and rubbed fast and hard, as my body began to flush with heat. We were all sweaty and sticky and just good and he didn't slow down once as I cried out, keeping his thumb on my clit. Edward stayed in me as he sat up, groaning my name as he wound his arms under mine to grab my shoulders, slamming into me as he cried out and came.
"Shit," he said after a second, dropping his head against my shoulder. I kept my arms wrapped around his neck and took a deep breath.
"Well, that's obviously never happening again," I said and felt him shake with laughter against my body.
"Yeah. Awful," he murmured and kissed my lips.
We fell back onto the sleeping bags both spent and just relieved that the fucking cock blocking was finally over.
"You want this?" Edward asked, handing me his shirt. "It gets kind of cold out here at night."
I smiled and pulled the shirt over my head as he held out an arm and waited for me to lie next to him. I snuggled into his side as he pulled me even closer to him, bringing his lips to my temple.
"Night, Pockets," he whispered and sighed.
"Night."
I'm never turning down another dance invitation from Edward again.
A/N:
Meg: Well, writing a lemon together wasn't awkward at all.
Liv- Nope. Just clearing my head from the fog. *shakes head*
Meg: Speaking of head *clears throat* how is your head?
Liv- ...wha? What about my head, Meg? *glares*
Meg: Oh. I guess I'm not supposed to tell the readers that Bella's tumbling accident was based off you?
Liv- *scowls* You, are a twat. And my head is fine thankyouverymuch. At least now. *rubs scar* And it didn't happen exactly like that, I mean I tumbled; from horse playing, and I was drunk, and the ambulance was called, and I did insult the doctor because I thought she was too young, and the bitch didn't numb the area, and I did get fourteen stitches, and, fuck, it kinda was just like that. Shit. AH HA, I know the difference! I was doing keg stands, not drinking moonshine. And I was 22 not 18. *hangs head* Aaaaand yeah..that totally didn't help me out much did it?
Meg: *ugly laughs* Not at all.
Liv: Does it help that at least I was at home and not in a public place?
Meg: What do you think?
Liv- No. Well, screw you then. *crosses arms*
Meg: The patch of hair the doctor shaved has grown back, right?
Liv- OMFG I hate you so much right now. At least I didn't do THAT to poor Bella, that shit took forever to grow back! *gives Meg the stink eye*
Meg: Speaking of crazy stories- if you didn't receive Emmett's cow tipping outtake or a review reply, please enable your PM's! It's hard for us to harass if PM's are disabled. Thanks for reading! :)