Chapter 9

When I come back into consciousness I am very aware of four things.

First, that on the back of my head I feel a warm liquid seeping down my head, through my hair.

Second that I am covered in some other liquid vodka I think probably from a bottle that was used to hit my head.

Third that something heaving is on top of me.

And fourth is that I know I am in danger. When I try to move from under the grip of whom I now realize is Carter he punches me I the face. So much adrenaline is rushing through me I hardly feel it.

I let out a scream and he punches me again.

Come on Tris you were trained for this!

Carter takes a swig of the vodka and hits me in the head with it I presume to get me to stop squirming and it works. The edges of my vision go black, white, ink, green; I don't know I don't really even remember what's happening.

I feel the weight of his body lift off me and I am relieve but not for long because his hands start to run up and down the inside of my thighs and I snap back into reality. Peter didn't get away with this so there is no way in hell Carter will. But before I can sit up and punch him I see and figure grab Carter by the collar and through him against the wall. That is the last thing I see before darkness takes over my vision and I am whisked away into what feels like nothingness.

My last thought is At least Tobias saved me again.

***Page Break***

I wake up with a pounding on my head and when I try and sit up the room feels like it is in a blender so I lie back down. I breathe in expecting to catch Tobias' sent. He smells like warmth and wind. Its perfect. But I don't so I open my eyes and reassess my location. Where am I?

That question is quickly answered when Eric walks through the door.

"Eric what is going on" I nearly yell.

"Jeez calm down I expected you to be at my knees thanking me. I mean I saved you from God knows what that psychopath was going to d-"

"Wait you stopped Carter?"

"Ya I was walking down the hall when I heard you scream. I didn't think you would want me to take you to the infirmary and you didn't have your keys on you so I dropped you off here and went to find Four. He's a-wall by the way, can't find him anywhere, been looking for like two hours."

This absolutely shocks me. Eric has always been some awful guy. He is the guy that hung Christina over the Chasm, he is the guy that wanted me out of Dauntless so bad, he hate my Tobias' more than anyone here so why would he save me?

"Before you pass out from shock I was wondering if you wanted me to get Christina or something I wasn't sure if you wanted me to tell them.

"Its okay I'll go right now get out of your hair."
I stand up and immediately crash back down to the couch.

"Are you sure maybe you should take it easy for a little while."

"Ya I don't think I can keep my legs working for more than 10 seconds right now."

He chuckles a little and sits down on the couch.

I glance over at him and don't say anything."

"What! I just ran around the entire compound for like 2 hours trying to find your boyfriend. I think that I have earned a ten-minute break don't you?

I smirk and nod.

I glance around his apartment. It is even smaller than the one I received but barley used when I first got into Dauntless.

"Ya I know its not much. I had one like you and Four before, well you know."

I don't say anything.

"You think I did it right?"

I don't respond.

"Well I just want you to know, I would tell you if I did, but I actually didn't, have a confirmable alibi. Bet you didn't know that. They tend to leave out details when doing things like that… Ya well I get it. They needed Four and those were his conditions. I was really pissed off at first, nearly killed him when I tried to through him over the chasm an-"

"You did what!" I yell, how could Tobias not tell me about this when did this happen!

"He didn't tell you? Ya nearly did it to. After that didn't leave my house for a week. It kinda brought me back to reality. Made me face everything that I have done in this life and what I want to do. I understand why Max fired me. I mean that doesn't make it right. He fabricated a crime that insinuated me but couldn't prove it so I lost my job and Tobias could take over. I guess he was to valuable."

I star shocked at him, not saying anything in the hopes that he will continue and he does.

"Anyway, long story short, I did some soul searching and figured out who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. Of course not many people know that I have changed or the better and the ones that have wont admit it to everyone else."

"So you and Four have made piece?"

"Well I have, I don't know if he has. I haven't spoken to him since that night at the chasm. To be honest that was actually the lowest it got for me. I mean I know that I have put a lot of people in a position where they could have died but I have not actually ever sought out to kill someone. I almost ended my life in the following week. I didn't know what to do. I had lost the few friends I did have, I lost my dream job, no one believed me when I said I wasn't a criminal and then when I became one I hated myself for it."

Again I don't respond. I don't know what to say. I don't know if he is lying or being honest. I mean is this Eric now? Could the Eric I new from all those years ago be the same person as the one that sits beside me know. Maybe he isn't the same person though. I don't know I have to get out of here. I can't think, I am to confuse. Nothing that has happened in the past few hours has made sense.

I get up to walk out and turn.

"Where is Carter? In the infirmary learning how to walk with a limp now. You should go turn him into the authorizes you know."

"No. I want him to see me strong and fine. I also what to see the look on his face when he fails initiation. That coward is gonna rot in the streets and wish he were dead when I am done with him.

I walk out the door and my head is a little foggy. When I make the turn toward to the hallway I was attacked I see blood all over the floor. Some is mine a lot if Carters and it is at that moment it all come crashing over me like a wave from my fear simulation.

And I let it happen.

I scrunch down on the wall and sob. Every part of me hurts. My head is pounding. My shoulder is throbbing proudly from when I passed out. My thighs ache from where Carter squeezed so tight. I hav3e cuts here and there from God know what.

I cry and cry and cry.

Ho I let something like this happen to me again I don't know.

But then I remind myself what Christina told me after I told her about what Peter did. She said it is never the victim's fault. That they made that decision and nothing I could have prevented it or stopped him. That I did everything right by screaming for help.

My thoughts move from its my fault to why me and I cry even harder. It feels like the wave crashing against me are causing me to sink and I am not trying very hard to swim to the surface.

I understand why Peter attacked me. I was a threat to him and in his eyes I had to be taken out. But why did Carter try and do that to me. He got so close to.

He was so drunk. Maybe that's it. I mean he only had like an hour between training and when I left the cafeteria but vodka can get you drunk. Fast.

I wonder if he even knew what he was doing. I look over at the bottle that is on the floor. It is near empty and I know some spilled on m up still. He must have had about half a liter of vodka.

If I drank that much I would en up dead somewhere.

Because of that much vodka I nearly did.

Still though he attacked me, nearly raped me. He cannot make it though initiation. With that thought I think of Tobias. He is probably looking for me somewhere. I told him we would meet up after he finished cleaning up and because he took so long I assume he decided to set up for tomorrow so we could sleep in, in the morning. He is so kind and thoughtful like that.

I have to find him.

I must every bit of energy I have left and stand up, nearly tipping over. When I get my balance I walk past the cafeteria, no way I am going back in there. He first place I think to walk to is our apartment but if Eric was looking for Tobias he would have looked there so I think of the next most likely place. Zeke's. Luckily it is only six doors down from ours so it wont be far.

When I finally stumble over there I knock and a few seconds later Shauna opens the door and gasps.

I hear Zeke ask what's the matter and I look past her over the shoulder and I see Tobias standing there tears coming into his eyes just about to fall.

God how bad do I look right now?

Kind of a long one! Intense right!

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