Drabbles

by EnsorcelledReader

So, these are just drabbles based on homestuck sexcannons. There is no storyline and nothing is related to anything else. I also don't really proofread these (I mostly do them at night as a way to relax), but there shouldn't be a huge amount of typos or anything. The titles of each chapter will let you know which couple is featured in that drabble.

10. DirkJake4

Notes: Sexcanon 1165: Jake sometimes takes those Cosmo sex tips seriously, and he's actually tried them out on Dirk several times, which never ends well.

I'm sorry anon from tumblr. This was surprisingly hard to write. This is a true drabble, only 100 words. A better one tomorrow, I promise! Just, fuck, those cosmo sex tips were worse than I thought they would be.

Your name is Dirk Strider and your boyfriend is going down on you right now….with mango in his mouth…because of fucking Cosmo magazine. Your pretty sure Roxy gave it to him as a joke, but he took those stupid fucking sex tips seriously. It feels kind of gross around your dick, but you try to moan and encourage Jake anyway. Eww… the mango is falling out of his mouth and onto the bedsheets. You need to burn that fucking magazine. His jaw is getting tired, you can tell, you can't fucking climax like this though. Cosmo can burn in hell.

Notes: Chose #8 from this list: advice/ridiculous-tips/the-best-of-ridiculous-tips-for-a-miserable-sex-life-emcosmopolitan-em-edition