Where It All Begins part 10

They decided to go back to B'Elanna's hotel so she could pack. B'Elanna had hoped that they would walk but Deanna flagged a transport to take them back to the hotel. The ride was made in silence. They held hands but did not speak. They barely looked at each other. B'Elanna was growing concerned about her friend but decided to wait until they were in the room to ask her what was wrong.

Once in the room, Deanna went to the replicator and ordered a strong drink and walked over to the window. She still hadn't said anything.

"Deanna. What's the matter?" There was no answer. She just stared out the window. "Please come over here and sit by me for a minute. I want to talk to you. " she said gently as she patted the place next to her.

She looked over at the young woman and slowly walked over to the couch. Sitting next to her and leaned in to give her a kiss. "What do you want to talk about?"

B'Elanna wrapped her arm around Deanna's and snuggled close to her. Deanna reached down and placed a kiss on her forehead. B'Elanna looked up at the warm figure. "I am so glad I met you. I know I told you that already but it's true. Today was magical. I want to see you again that is if you want to see me again."

"You're leaving for home tomorrow and then you will start your training at the academy. I would love to see you again but you have your whole life head of you. I have enjoyed our time together but…maybe it will be best if we could have one more beautiful night together and go…you can start your wonderful life."

Deanna begin to cry internally as she spoke to B'Elanna. Her soul wanted to cry out that she never wanted her to leave her arms. 'What can I offer her? She has a chance to go far in Starfleet like my father, I can't stand in her way. But I don't want to let her leave.'

"What are you saying? Was I just some conquest? Some backward planet girl you were trying to show a good time. I like you. I like you a lot. I thought you liked me too," B'Elanna cried as she pulled away from her.

Deanna couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face. This was not how she wanted this evening to go. She could have just lied to her but she deserved more than that. 'Why do I care so much about her? I've only known her a few days. But I do care about her more than I thought possible.'

"B'Elanna, please listen. If you were someone I just wanted to sleep with, I would have done that the first night I met you and been done with it. I wanted to spend more time with you. I want to spend time with you." Deanna reached to take her hand and place a kiss in her palm. "I don't know what I can offer to you. You've seen how messed up my life is. You make me forget about my life but you have already seen that it keeps coming back to slap me in the face. I don't want to hurt you."

B'Elanna turned to face the older woman taking her face in both her hands. "Don't push me away. I know the reality of our situation. If we want to see each other, I know we can find away. I know I don't want this to be the end. I understand you may be scared. You say you don't want to hurt me then don't push me away."

"You want to see me again? What about after you start the academy?" Deanna said with a hollow voice.

"I'm willing to try if you are. Do you have faith?"

Deanna's became wide eyed after hearing B'Elanna use the word faith. She thought back to what her father whispered to her before they left his apartment.

"What if you fall for some beautiful cadet?"

Before she could finish talking B'Elanna quickly added, "I thought you weren't interested in joining the Academy."

Deanna couldn't help but smile. She said in a quiet voice, "I think, no I want to try." B'Elanna gave her several kisses on her lips and cheeks.

"Good because I didn't want to get kicked out for going AWOL in order to see you at the Galaxy Club," she teased laughingly.

Deanna's eyes misted over and she looked away. "B'Elanna can I tell you something?"

"Of course, anything."

She wiped angrily at an errant tear before she spoke. "I'm afraid to talk to my mother and sister. I know if I don't I won't be able to move on. I'm afraid it will come between any chance of us."

"Do you want me to stay here in San Francisco while you talk to them?" B'Elanna asked.

"No. I want you to see your family. I have to do this on my own. Thank you for offering though." She then looked at her shyly before asking, "Can I talk to you afterward?"

"You can contact me while I'm on the transport or when I get home. I want to hear how it went." B'Elanna gave her a sincere look. She then stood quickly and asked, "Hey will you help me pack?"

"Are you in a hurry to leave me already?" she said with emotion in her voice. Deanna didn't think that question would bother her so much. The thought of her leaving hurt her more than she thought.

"Gods no. I just want to introduce you to someone."

Deanna looked at her with a confused expression. B'Elanna chuckled at her response glad for the opportunity to change the mood. Her laughter caused Deanna to smile.

"You have someone here?" she asked looking around the room.

"Come on," she said as she pulled the older woman up off the couch and led her to the bedroom.

Deanna sat on the bed as B'Elanna went to her nightstand and picked up the picture that was placed there and handed it to Deanna as she sat next to her. "This is my SoS. Don't laugh but I talk to her every night and sometimes when I have something important going on in my life."

Looking at the picture and then at B'Elanna, Deanna had a bright smile on her face. She touched the picture and then touched her forehead ridges. "I think you look like her. I used to talk to my mother pretending she was tucking me in bed at night after me and Dad moved back to San Francisco. I stopped when I realized she was never going to tuck me in bed."

B'Elanna reached over and took the picture from her hand and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. She rested her head on her shoulder and spoke quietly. "Maybe after you talk to your mother, you might get a hug from her."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being you and for being so kind." Deanna then leaned over and gave her kiss. "Let's get you packed because I want to spend these last hours holding you until you have to leave."

B'Elanna pulled away from her to look into her eyes and with a teasing look she asked, "Just hold me?"

Returning the look she replied, "Well at least right now."

xxxxx

They walked quietly holding hands to where B'Elanna was to catch the transport ship back to Kessick IV. Neither woman knew what to say to each other for each was lost in their own thoughts and emotions. They would occasionally squeeze the others hand or give a light kiss, but words were something that neither could find to speak to the other. But it also felt like words were unnecessary. It had only been a few days but both had felt that it had been so much longer.

Deanna was trying her best to be stoic and do as both her father and B'Elanna had said, 'Have faith.' Although her father was talking about her budding relationship with Deanna, she also knew he was talking about her mother and sister as well. She had to have resolution with her mother and sister or she would not be able to move forward in her life. She thought that maybe she was drawn to B'Elanna for this purpose, to put to rest old wounds and so she could truly begin to live her life instead of rebelling against the life that others saw for her.

B'Elanna began to daydream about her future in Starfleet. She wanted to rise to the ranks of an officer such as Lt. Commander Troi. 'How wonderful would it be if I was able to attend official functions with Deanna on my arm as my wife? I want her to be part of my future. I know we can make it work. Others have made it work. I hope she can deal with the issue of her family so she can join me for my party before I have to report.' B'Elanna looked deeply at Deanna who was staring straight in front of her. 'I think I could really love this woman.' She pulled her hand to her lips and gave it a soft kiss. Deanna looked over at her and gave her a bright smile. She then leaned over and kissed her firmly on the lips.

They arrived at the transport dock ten minutes before the ship was scheduled to leave. Both women were secretly glad that there last moments would not be drawn out. Her luggage was transported over from the hotel before they left. They turned to face each other holding hands.

"Do you want to come with me onboard?" B'Elanna hopefully asked.

Deanna looked deeply into her eyes and kissed her gently on the lips. "I don't think I better. I might not be able to get off the ship."

"Would that be such a bad thing?" B'Elanna said as she laid her head on her chest.

Taking a deep breath, Deanna kissed her on the top of her head. "I may want to hijack the ship so we could go to our own private planet," she softly chuckled. "Besides we both have things to do. Coming on the ship will make it harder for us to say goodbye. I'm already having a hard enough time as it is."

LAST BOARDING CALL. ALL ABOARD. The announcement boomed forcing the couple to face reality.

The couple looked at each other with panic in their eyes and then enveloped each other in a tight hug.

"I'm gonna miss you until I can see you again. I do mean to see you again," B'Elanna stated pointedly with tears beginning to appear in the corners of her eyes.

Deanna smiled sadly and then kissed her passionately. It was Deanna who broke the kiss and pushed B'Elanna toward the hatch of the ship. When the young woman turned to look at her before entering the hatch, Deanna waved and yelled, "I miss you already!" Once she had disappeared inside the ship, the heartbroken woman looked at the closed hatch and whispered, "I think I already love you."

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