The next morning I got up as early as I could muster and spent a good twenty minutes in the bathroom giving myself a pep talk in the mirror. Smoothing out the fabric from my uniform blazer, I noticed how suddenly uncomfortable I felt dressing as a boy. Last week, donning my brother's clothing had been a transcendence of power, a physical manifestation of the ICI and tribute to my diabolical behavior. Now I felt I was suffocating in it.

I reached up and tugged on the terrible wig I'd been using since my time at Milton started. In the all the excitement I'd successfully ignored the way it itched and irritated my scalp but in the moment all the missed scratchings caught up with me and I rubbed my head raw.

With a sigh, I set the wig back straight, though the itching didn't stop, and left the bathroom to get Kristoff up and try to shake the -whatever- he had for me. Attraction? Crush? I was flattered but this is not at all what I needed. Four more days. I could make it. I just needed to take control of the situation I'd gotten myself into.

Kristoff almost smacked me right in the nose when I went to rouse him for breakfast.

"Whoa, dude!" He was wearing a wifebeater, but all the same shrunk away from me and pulled up the covers to hide under. I had my work cut out for me.

"Breakfast, yo," I said, but I didn't linger. I went across to my side of the room to pack up my backpack.

"You're up so early. Why?" he sounded suspicious.

"I'm just trying to keep us healthy and in the game for the drag show tomorrow. We need to be at our best to win that cash! And health starts with a healthy breakfast."

"If I eat this early I'm gonna puke." He pulled the blankets back over his head.

"Oh no you don't!" I said and ripped the blankets right off. Kristoff squealed and dropped to the floor, scrambling for something to cover his boxer-wearing self up with. Since when has this kid been shy? I sighed again. Dammit.

I started chucking him parts of his uniform. "C'mon you wimp, let's go. Get dressed. We are winning that fifty dollars."

"You don't take no for an answer, do you Ladies' Man?"

I smirked at him. "Nope!"

He rolled his eyes and got up to change. Almost back to his normal self.

"And hey," I added suddenly, trying to get the attention off of me. "If you end up as a really pretty girl tomorrow at the drag show, maybe Elsa will fall for you after all."

For a second Kristoff looked like he was considering this as a viable option, as if human emotion were that easy to manipulate. Maybe they were.

"But probably not," I concluded and I was met with a face full of pillow.

Breakfast went well-ish. Kristoff's buddy Sven joined us and I could finally put a face to a name. He was on the soccer team with me but his brown hair was so shaggy and his face so long I sort of just glanced right over him. I'm a terrible person, I know, I admit it.

Anyway, chem was the next torture I had to endure. The first shot to the heart happened when I walked in and saw Elsa. I had to catch my breath - I hadn't seen her since Saturday night, since we kissed. The next pang came when I realized she was sitting with Gerda - there was no spot for me at her side. That shouldn't bother me as much as it did. There were two empty seats right in front of the girls and despite Kristoff's hesitation I led him straight to them.

Gerda greeted us enthusiastically when we sat down. Elsa, though not as icy as she was when I met her, still only gave us a distant nod and faint smile. Maybe she was preoccupied with something else. I glanced at Kristoff to see how he was doing back in her presence. He wouldn't look at anyone but Gerda. Avoidance: this boy was damn good at it.

"Did you have a good weekend, Hans?" Gerda was prompting me. I swear, she was immune to awkwardness. I have to ask her how she does it someday.

"Yeah, it was cool. I went home and had lunch with my mom. Saw some buddies."

"That sounds nice. My parents live too far away for me to visit them on weekends."

"I'm sorry, Gerda," I said, glancing at Elsa again. She was staring past me, at a spot just above my right shoulder. "I'll try to hang out with you more."

"Oh no, it's fine. I spend most of my time reading anyway, and that's hardly a team sport."

"Right," Kristoff said, chuckling too loudly. He was trying so hard to act normal. He really needed to take some acting classes.

Class started and I regretfully turned around to pretend to pay attention, but not before locking eyes with Elsa for a split second and feeling myself come open at the seams.

I didn't listen to any of the lecture or lab instructions - instead I attempted to calm my stomach, which was in knots. When we were released and bid to start the lab I regretfully realized I had no idea what we were supposed to do. One look at Kristoff and I knew he hadn't paid attention either. The two of us sat for a second, not knowing where to start.

I picked up the handout and tried to read it - the words on the page swam and any meaning that could possibly derived from them was lost to me.

Shit.

Both Kristoff and I, reaching the same conclusion, turned around at the same time to see what the pair behind us was doing.

Elsa had already gotten a flame started under her beaker and an acid green solution was already bubbling inside of it. Gerda, meanwhile, safety goggles over her glasses, was getting ready to put drops of some chemical into it. It was a scene straight out of a movie. I looked back at Kristoff and he at me - because we had turned around in our seats in each other's direction, our faces were very close. We locked eyes and immediately a blush bloomed across Kristoff's pale cheeks and he flung his head away hard, almost toppling his chair. He righted himself and cleared his throat. He didn't see me roll my eyes. Forget English; at this rate I wouldn't pass chem either.

I mustered up my courage and turned in my chair again, addressing the girls behind me.

"Hey… Gerda… Elsa… any way you guys could explain the lab?"

They answered at the same moment: Gerda with, "Sure!" and Elsa with a monotone, "were you not paying attention to the lecture?"

The Ice Queen was back.

"Well-" I started but Kristoff came to the rescue.

"I was being distracting. We're in the drag show tomorrow so I was passing Hans notes about our plans for our costumes."

Elsa eyed Kristoff for a moment, then her eyes slid back to me. I smiled apologetically. Her face seemed to soften.

Finally, she sighed deeply, as though she were making a huge sacrifice. "Alright, get a flame started and I'll measure out your solution for you." She stood and came around to the front of our table so that we were face-to-face.

"You're the best, Els," I said, loving the nickname as I said it. At the sound of it, her eyes flickered back to mine for a split second and then the moment was gone.

As Gerda tended her and Elsa's project, I watched Elsa meticulously begin work on mine and Kristoff's. I took down notes like a good student (and for the lab report later), trying not to let my eyes linger on her jawline and eyelashes. Why had I never realized how pretty girls were before?

"So how come you didn't go out for the drag show, Elsa?" Kristoff finally broke the silence. "I feel like you'd be a good King."

"What makes you say that?" she asked, not looking up from our beaker.

"Well, because-" he gestured at her widely like the answer was obvious. I shot him a warning glance.

She looked up curiously when he didn't finish.

He continued awkwardly. "Although you are pretty feminine, which is kinda weird, considering-"

Instinctively, I cleared my throat but the damage was done - Elsa's eyes narrowed and she straightened up to her full height. "What exactly are you implying Kristoff?"

He sat like a deer caught in headlights, unable to go on or else become more in trouble.

"He's being a dumbass, don't worry about him," I said. He wilted under my glare.

"Elsa-" said Gerda, still preoccupied with the lab. "I think I did something wrong." The three of us looked back at the table behind us - the solution was bubbling over the rim of the beaker, tiny chemical droplets hitting and fizzling up into nothing on the black tabletop. Elsa hurried back to her lab partner to correct the damage.

I rounded on Kristoff. "Dude. What the hell?"

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to say to her…."

"You just talk to her like a normal human being. Because that's what she is. Cuh-razy concept, right?"

"I don't know, man. It's just weird. I can't think about her like that."

My gut twisted; I wasn't surprised. I had outed a straight girl. Who had kissed a girl crossdressing as a boy. Behind the back of the roommate who had a crush on the outed straight girl. Everything was screwed. Of course it didn't feel right.

"Stop being a homophobe and take a deep breath. It's going to be okay. Despite what you think, you will survive the awkwardness. We shall overcome. Barely."

Elsa reappeared at our table and I felt that pang in my chest again. Having a crush is painful.

"Everything okay back there?" I asked her.

"It's salvageable," she said. She took another sacrificial deep breath and looked back down at our equipment. I decided to spare her any more awkwardness.

"You could probably just talk us through the rest of the lab. I'm not a genius like you but I can follow instructions." I smiled at her and her face softened again and again I felt that pain in my ribcage. This was all wrong. She didn't like me, she liked fake Hans. Stop flirting. Stop. Stop.

"Yeah, we got this, Elsa. Thanks for all your help," said Kristoff and I sighed in relief at his attempt to be normal (although it still sounded odd and scripted).

"Okay, children," she said, easing up for the first time all class. "Listen carefully."

I used the elation from my interactions with Elsa during soccer practice that afternoon. I flew across the field, my feet and spirit weightless. The weird ache in my torso twisted into exhilaration and infallibility, propelling me onward to score three goals in the first half of the scrimmage. It's wonderful what infatuation can do to you.

Kai even noticed a change. He slapped me on the shoulder during halftime as I was getting water and said, "someone's happy today."

"Just had a good day!" I said brightly, returning to the field as the whistle blew.

The first half was heaven but the second half went sour.

I was sprinting hard, harder than I needed, taking longer strides than I should have. I was dribbling, my destination the only thing in my sight. Now, I'm not a bad player, so I definitely saw my opponents coming at me, and don't get me wrong! I dodged them skillfully. But suddenly my heel caught wrong on the back of the ball and slipped off, which caused my weight to redistribute onto my back heel, my hips going too far forward and my shoulders too far back.

In short, I twisted my ankle and fell right on my ass in front of a bunch of soccer guys and Coach Kai. This was different than the time I got hit in the coochie because it actually hurt. A lot. So at least this time the reaction was genuine.

Sven was one of the first guys to come over to see if I was alright. Before everyone realized I had taken a spill, the other team had taken the ball all the way down the field and scored for the first time.

"Youch," Sven said, peering down at me with a grimace. I'm sure my face looked about the same. Shit shit shit we had a game Friday!

Kai had finally gotten over to me.

"Hans! Please tell me you're all right."

By then the entire team was in a half circle around Kai, Sven, and me. I was holding back tears. Those girly, angry, pain tears. They couldn't see the girly tears!

"Not sure," I said through gritted teeth.

"He probably just needs ice and rest," Sven said, trying to placate the team around us; they had started to twitter to each other in concern.

"I don't want to try walking on it yet," I said, looking around me. None of these scrawny guys were going to be able to carry me. "Sven," I addressed the only team member whose name I knew. "Can you grab my phone? It's in my blazer pocket in my locker."

As Sven went off for it, Kai knelt close so as to feel my ankle and talk with me quietly.

"You gonna be okay?"

"I'd better be."

"If you're actually hurt I have to call your parents, you know."

I clenched my teeth as he touched a tender spot on my ankle. "I'm not hurt." This was not going to be the last day of the ICI. I was too close to give up now. And I couldn't desert Kristoff and Gerda and… Elsa….

Sven jogged back across the field and gave up my phone. I held the home button and it lit up. "Call Kristoff," I said and Siri repeated her command back to me before dialing.

Kai stood and began shooing the boys back to the locker room, calling practice early. I held the phone to my face, trying to roll my ankle as though it were healthy. It was having none of that.

"Ladies' Man!" was how he answered.

"Hey bud. So… long story short I may or may not have injured myself during practice and need a tow."

"Oh. Oh shit. That sucks. Wait, you need what?"

I tried to repress any embarrassment. "I don't want to put any weight on it, just in case. So will you help me back to our room? You're strong."

There was a long pause.

"Kristoff?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Totally. I'll be there in a sec."

Coach Kai waited for Kristoff with me but I told Sven not to worry about it. He was eyeing me suspiciously and it made me think of the conversation I overheard last night in the bathroom. I wished heartily that I was blissfully unaware instead.

When Kristoff showed up I was standing on my uninjured foot and using Kai's shoulder for balance.

"Hey. Thanks for being awesome. So I should be able to hobble along if you support most of my weight-"

But instead of letting me finish he reached down and scooped me bodily into his arms as though I were made of feathers and not flesh and bone.

"I've got it, don't worry." And with a nod to Kai, he strode off, cradling me to his chest like a baby.

I made sure to become as little as possible, and shield that chest of mine. There was always something to hide when I was Hans. And as far as awkward situations were going this week, this may have been the worst one yet.

I could feel his accelerated heartbeat through his button-down and I knew it was because of our proximity. It was weird but I understood because my heart had practically done backflips on Saturday when I had been just as close to Elsa. Even closer. This whole situation was getting really out of hand. I didn't have time for Kristoff and his gay panic. I had my own gay panic to worry about. Or bi-panic I guess. Whatever it was, it was a problem.

Eventually I was mercifully deposited back on my bed and while Kristoff went to fetch me ice I texted Kai telling him I was safely back in my dorm. Then, as though through instinct, I opened a message to Elsa. I sat and watched my cursor blink at me for almost a full minute. I wanted to talk to her. But I didn't know what to say. I glanced at the door, expecting Kristoff to come back at any moment. Eventually I typed a simple, hey, can i get you to maybe proof my english paper again before friday? your opinion is invaluable to me :)

I sent it and Kristoff returned. He chucked the already melting plastic bag at me and then settled into his desk, plugging in with his headphones and drowning me out. I tried not to be offended. Even if I was, I couldn't be for long because my phone buzzed. She had replied:

Yeah, sure!

And I also replied because I had to.

Thanks so much! you're my favorite, els.

And her goodnight was:

Anytime :)

A/N: If ya'll have stuck with me this long after all these hiatuses, then I truly don't deserve you. Thank you, thank you. This story will eventually be told and I promise it will be worth it.