I'm wondering if you guys think I'm making Tris seem to weak, obviously in the end she's going to get stronger but Veronica Roth made her seem so strong but Veronica Roth also didn't say very much about her mental state and this is what I feel like it would be like at the beginning of her transfer. Please tell me what you think in the reviews! I need to know if I should go back and fix it!
Disclaimer- Obviously I'm not Veronica Roth so I don't own the Divergent trilogy
"Help? Help?! What? Did you fall in a pit of sinking sand on your escape from murdering Mom and Dad? No way in hell am I helping you idiot!" I type with lightning speed and jab the response button so hard that my finger goes numb and the screen goes black for a couple of seconds.
"Tris?" Tobias asks in a stern tone.
"What?!" I shoot back, feeling defensive and weak.
"You can't let your monster run you. You need to choose your battles selflessly, because it is possible to be selfless and brave and you are one of the very few people that I believe can do that." He saw the text and now I feel like a pitiful mess because he thinks I'm wrong, he doesn't pity me though and I appreciate that but I feel like I'm dragging him down with me. I don't deserve him! And he doesn't deserve to be dragged down with me, but at this point, he's the only person keeping me going, so I can't get rid of him, even though that would be the selfless thing to do, I need to please him, and stop being so emotional, I should ask him his opinion and obey his response, I'll start by not caring that my parents died, with that awful thought I have to gulp back a sob, I can't do that, they raised me, so I need to put on a mask and hide it… or I could just join Peter and his minion buttholes, I'm just like them, I then hear the whisper from earlier, "You're not like them, you're different, different because you have a desire to change and they don't." Yet again I know the voice is right and it increases my level of hope just a little bit. I hate questions, if I knew the answer to everything in the whole world it would be easy for me to be perfect because I would know the costs and benefits of everything and I would know how to stop being ruthless but then again, life would be no fun because you can never learn from experience, there's nothing new to try because you already know how it would feel.
"What do you suggest I do?" I ask Tobias, referring to Caleb. He smiles at me.
"I hate him just as much as you do, I can't put up with anyone who hurts you, but remember how it happened with Al? Not that I like to remind you but it's always better to forgive right away. Just ask him why he's asking for help." He responds soothingly, I nod and turn on my phone to see a message from Caleb, yet again.
"Please. I'm sorry. I need help, Jeanine, faction before blood. I didn't. Experiment. Erudite headquarters." Well, he's definitely not an effective at texting, but it certainly got me worried, I'm still pissed at him, and I want him locked up, he's a hazard, but I don't want him hurt, he's the only real family that I have left. I'm about to ask Tobias what I should do but he asks me first and now I don't know what to say.
"I need a break, I need to talk to my friends and ignore what's been happening, just for one day and then I'll go get him, will you help me?"
"Of course." He agrees with a smile. So hand in hand with my best friend, I walk down the hallway and down the stairs, or more like sliding down the railing to my own dorm but I literally smack into Christina on my way there and fall backwards, hitting my head on the wall behind me. I laugh.
"Hey Chris!" I exclaim, I basically drop kicked her out of my life since Al died so I'm actually really glad to see her now.
"Tris! Oh my gosh! I've been looking everywhere for you! I saw the news! I'm so sorry about Caleb and your parents, girl your life must be a living hell right now! Wanna go shopping, it's all on me, it will cheer you up!" Instantly the cheer drains from my face, for five minutes I had forgotten, for five happy minutes and now it's gone, Tobias's grip on my hand increases and my shoulders slump.
"I was feeling better." I mumble to her.
"Oh my gosh Tris, I don't even... I… sorry, I'm a Cantless, I can tell when people are lying but I can't read emotions very well, I'm sorry."
"A Cantless?" Tobias stifles a laugh behind me and Christina smirks.
"A Candor transfer to Dauntless. Meaning that I'm learning to be Dauntless but I haven't got it down yet." I can't help myself, I burst out laughing.
"Darn right you're a Cantless! Cant as in can't shut up!" I exclaim between gasps, "Let me guess, Uriah came up with that! What does that make me, an Abnetless… an Abneless, Abnentless, a Dauntnegation, Abless?!" With that, Christina and Tobias join in my laughter.
"Yep, that's what you are!" Christina begins, tears streaming down her face, "Abbless!" She laughs, poking me in the stomach jokingly. While Will runs out of the room across from us, Uriah in tow and they both crumple to the ground in laughter too, I don't know if it's to make me feel better or because they haven't laughed in a while or because we look like a bunch of buffoon's or maybe all three, but It makes me happy and for the time being I hope to stay that way. A few other initiates walk out of their dorms to see what's up but they just give us odd stares which makes me laugh harder.
I finally get my breath back and gasp "I'm going to get a tattoo." Everybody immediately stops laughing and stares at me, I hate all the attention but it's understandable, I'm an Abnetless.
"Me too." Tobias surprises me by saying it and I look at him wide eyed, I know what I'm going to get, but what about him?
"I will too." Christina chimes in and I grin, I'm being my own person and I started a fad.
"We all should!" Uriah screams and Will nods in agreement. So astounded I lead the way to the tattoo parlour and grab a paper from the front desk start to sketch out my tattoo as do all my friends. They all finish before me but they wait because it was my idea. Nobody knows what the other person is getting. When my drawing is finally finished I think that it's the most beautiful thing I have ever drawn, I grin while walking up to my tattooist and hand her the drawing.
"You're Tris right?" I nod "I knew it, you're the talk of Dauntless right now but nobody will admit it. I'm Tori; I work as the secretary in the dauntless office sometimes but most of the time I'm here. This is a beautiful drawing by the way, where would you like it?" Well she's certainly straight to the point, I like it, I roll up my shirt and motion to my hip while the others chat, they're not going to leave while I get it which makes me all the more excited and nervous. She begins to copy my drawing on my hip with a black pen and I shiver, Tobias is watching but it's not obvious what it is yet so I just wink at him. "Does that look right?" She asks me when she's finished and I nod as she pulls out the needle full of freezing gel, I'm glad she doesn't ask if I want it because I do but it wouldn't be very brave of me to say yes. A tingling feeling soon takes over my hip. She then starts to inject the blue and then the red and the yellow and the orange. It feels like only seconds have passed and she's finished but I know it's been several hours. I thank her as she hands me the healing gel and the cover-up sheet and I sit down and everyone is staring, I can't help but blush.
"Wow Tris, it's beautiful." Christina whispers. I smile and run my hand over it; it's the dauntless flaming symbol in vibrant colors of orange and red but it doesn't have the circle around it, it's in the middle of an empty field in the dark of the night, which is represented by a flaming blue color that has hints of purple dust swirling around it like a galaxy and last but most importantly, it has ten sparks rising from the fire representing the few people that have changed my life, My parents, Caleb, Tobias, Christina, Uriah, Will, Al, Zeke and my old friend Susan from Abnegation. I explain this to them but leave out the many other things it symbolises such as the way that the flames that are burning me up are actually healing me at the same time and that though the fire or the war inside of me may dim, it will never fully leave and neither will the memories of the sparks or the people that represent the sparks.
I can't help but continue to think of what else it represents while the others go to the seat and come back with their own tattoo's, Christina with a small dauntless symbol striped with black and white on her ankle to represent Cantless. Will with Christina's name in curly letters on his wrist, to which she nearly fainted and I thought was adorable. Uriah with a small doodle of Dauntless cake on his ring finger and last but not least, Tobias, he refused to show anybody but when we were walking back to the dorms and I was behind him he lifted up the back of his shirt and showed me, beneath his flaming blue tattoo and his scars on his back was a small tattoo that said April 4. I felt like I was floating after he showed me and after I had gotten my own tattoo, but I seemed to fall from that trance as soon as we reached the our dorm and opened the door as we were greeted by the putrid smell of smoke-fire.
What did you guys think of her tattoo? I wanted to make it different than the birds she got, just to be creative. What do you guys think is up with the fire in her dorm? I don't know if I really like this story anymore, but I have a plan for it and will continue. I'm also thinking about writing a story about a girl named Grace going through Abnegation initiation but probably won't because I'm so busy. Please follow and review! By the way, do I do too many Authors' notes? I need an honest opinion.