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"Are you sure you aren't just overreacting?"
How many times had he heard that, or a similar phrase, uttered by his mentor. "You never told me that Balinor was an actual lord."
"It was my understanding that he never was. He was a nobleman's son, yes. But, there is an ancient tradition of Gedref. Some sort of quest that the son would have to go through before being able to claim the actual title, if I'm not mistaken. It's not something that is just passed down. It was supposed to be much like the quest Arthur went through to prove his worth to the kingdom." Gaius leaned back against the wall. He was in one of his more contemplative moods — the type that typically meant he would be avoiding answering anything directly.
Merlin was sick of being led around by half-answers, shrouded in mystery. "So, Balinor wasn't a lord, just a Dragon Lord?"
"Yes. Merlin, I don't see what relevance this has on the situation with Arthur."
"Because it's all about Arthur...always has been. Everything I have done in the last ten years has been for Arthur. I finally have a chance to know more about me, Gaius. Me. Next thing I know, I'll find out my mother was some sort of princess or something."
Gaius pinned him with a scowl, the eyebrow creeping ever higher. "Hunith is not a princess. If you want to know where she comes from, then I suggest you ask her." His mentor scoffed at the notion. "Honestly, though, what do you think she would say of all this? Your place is at Arthur's side. Not chasing some fool's fancy of a man you barely even knew or a woman who is far above your station."
"But that's just it! I didn't know him. I don't know anything about him. It feels as if my whole life has been a lie."
"I think you need to calm down. Once we return to Camelot, I'm sure Arthur will be willing to listen."
Merlin considered throwing up his hands in frustration. Why couldn't Gaius see what was happening? Merlin's secret was out. Arthur knew and had reacted in the worst possible way. If they hadn't been in Nemeth, who knows what the king would have done, or if Merlin would have had the courage to stand up to him. "Don't you get it, Gaius? He banished me. It's not as if I have a choice anymore. I can't protect him if I'm not in Camelot. Destiny be damned! This whole thing might have been avoided if I knew more about myself — if I knew more about my father." There was a sharp edge in Merlin's voice.
"If I thought it was relevant, I would have told you. You never asked me more about him," Gaius pointed out, attempting to turn the blame as he bristled defensively.
Merlin closed his eyes and turned his head away. "You're right. At first, I was too busy grieving a man I'd only just met, as well as saving a kingdom. Once that was done, there was so much to do to help the people of the city. Afterward... it was business as usual."
"Well, I wouldn't exactly say that."
"What would you say then, Gaius? I trusted you. I trusted your advice and look where it got me? Right now, Arthur would rather see me dead."
"Now I know you're overreacting."
He was done. How many times over the years had Gaius accused him of overreacting only to be proven wrong when yet another threat to Camelot and Arthur surfaced? Gaius hadn't seen the rage in Arthur's eyes, the same rage that he'd had when he'd nearly killed Uther. It was true that Arthur's temper had cooled in recent years. He was more likely to think and sulk before acting out. But, this situation was entirely different.
Merlin's admission had open the floodgates of emotions between both men. Perhaps they would recover in time. Right now, though, the wounds were too fresh - too raw - and they both needed space. More than anything, Merlin needed to find himself away from the lies and secrets. "I can't do this right now."
He turned and walked away, leaving the man who had been his only support for years, stuttering in the wake.
"Merlin!" Gwaine jogged through the hallway trying to catch up to his friend. If he didn't know better, he'd think Merlin was avoiding him with the way the lanky man sped up his walk and turned a corner abruptly. Gwaine quickened his own pace and managed to spot the servant as he ducked around another bend.
Catching Merlin by the elbow, his friend finally stopped. "I just heard we're getting everything set to leave. I think Arthur wants to get you as far away from womanly temptation as possible." The roguish knight grinned and clapped his friend on the back.
Merlin's back went straight and his whole body seemed to still, but Gwaine could feel a slight tremor under his hand on Merlin's shoulder.
"I'm not going with you."
Gwaine reeled back, rocking on his heels as if he'd been slapped by the serious, dark voice of his friend. "I don't understand..."
"Some things...other than what happened with Mithian... came out in the Throne Room. King Rodor knew my father…thought of him like a son."
Gwaine wanted to laugh, thinking that it was great news for his friend, but something in the way Merlin stood with his shoulders hunched and mournful expression told him it wasn't the time for merriment. "That's good, right? I mean, you told me you never knew him."
"I met him once. He was a Dragon Lord."
The knight wasn't surprised by the announcement. The theory had come about in secretive conversations between himself and Leon, after the last time Morgana took over Camelot. However, he was a bit stunned by Merlin's sudden openness. Sucking on his teeth for a moment, he tried to figure out how he should respond. "Really?"
Merlin pressed his palms over his eyes and shook his head. "I should have told you long ago."
"That's alright, we all have our secrets, as you well know. Can I ask, why are you telling me now?" He thought about his own question while the scuffle of Merlin's feet as they shifted nervously told him how heavy this burden truly was. There hadn't been many people allowed in the room during Merlin's interrogation. Arthur, Gaius, and Leon had been the only ones from Camelot who were admitted. Then, it struck him... Arthur.
Leon had already suspected and it would make sense if Gaius knew about it as well, since Merlin had lived with the physician since first arriving in Camelot. For Arthur to finally find out this information in a way which couldn't be disputed and left no room for the king to react in the presence of others, it explained a lot about his friend's odder-than-normal behavior.
"You're not... surprised?" Merlin looked at him oddly.
Gwaine shook his head. "I think some of us already knew something was different about you. But, it's a good thing. If Arthur knows..."
"Oh, he knows. I'm now banished from Camelot because of it. Well, and the other thing."
"What 'other' thing?"
Merlin slumped against a nearby wall. Defeat permeated the air surrounding him. "Magic."
"And...?" He snickered at the way Merlin's eyebrows shot up and nearly disappeared into his hairline. "If Arthur hadn't figured at least some of that part out for himself, then I really have to wonder about him."
Merlin's mouth opened and closed. His eyes shifted to the side and then back to Gwaine. Some of the tension began to leave him and he began to join in Gwaine's amusement. "I suppose I have been a bit too obvious at times."
"Yeah, and not to mention that bridgekeeper with the whole 'Courage, Magic, and Strength' stuff years ago. If Arthur hasn't caught on by now, the only way he was going to was if you came outright and said it." Gwaine slung his arm over his friend's shoulder. "He'll come around eventually. Until then, I guess you and I will just have to check out all the taverns in Nemeth."
Merlin stilled, his own laughter quickly falling away from him. "You need to go back to Camelot, Gwaine."
"Not without my best friend, I don't."
"I need you to."
Sobering at the seriousness in Merlin's voice, Gwaine licked his lips and waited for Merlin to continue.
"He's in danger. You know how little he sees of what's around him, and you seem to know more about what I've done to protect him than almost anyone else. With Morgana running around, and..."
"And... what?" He could sense the indecision in his friend, the need to confide in someone conflicting with the anxiety over how much he should say. He'd hoped that Merlin would have understood by now that Gwaine would remain his friend no matter what.
"There are other things..." Merlin's eyes scanned the area, before pulling Gwaine off into an alcove. "I have seen things, Gwaine, visions of what might come. I really don't want to say any more than that, except...keep an eye on Mordred. I know he's young..."
"Yeah, he's young, but he adores Arthur - lives to please him."
"I know, and I hope it will always remain that way."
There was something in the way Merlin said it, something Gwaine couldn't quite put his finger on, but it left Gwaine with a bad taste in his mouth. "You don't think it will?"
Merlin shrugged and it left Gwaine feeling lost, trying to assess what his friend was asking of him. Mordred had proven himself as a knight and his loyalty to Arthur far surpassed Gwaine's. Although Gwaine's father had been loyal to Caerleon and look where that got him. He'd also seen another side to those who put someone high on a pedestal, only to have it knocked down and blindsided by something out of their control.
He could easily see Mordred's childish admiration turning into something akin to fanaticism. Maybe he just had to take the kid out and show him how to relax. Gwaine could definitely do that. Perhaps he could steer the young man onto a less dangerous path that still allowed him to serve Arthur, but not worship the ground the king walked on.
"Yeah. Alright, I'll keep an eye on them both until you come home."
"Thank you, Gwaine."
The knight raked his calloused hand through the shaggy brown hair that seemed to have a mind of its own. "Well, I better go get my stuff before His Royal Highn-ass banishes me, as well. Camelot isn't going to be the same without you. You want me to get some of your things and send them out here? Just to, you know, get you by until all this blows over."
Nodding, Merlin held out his arm. "Thanks, Gwaine. Stay safe. Keep them all safe. Send a message if you need me."
Gwaine clasped the outstretched hand and immediately pulled his friend in for a brotherly hug. "Take care of yourself. Also, if you ever need some tips on women, I'll be happy to help. That princess is quite a jewel."
Pulling away, he saw a hint of a smile on the younger man's face. Merlin's life in Camelot may have been pulled out from underneath him, but his prospects in Nemeth seemed rather bright.