Chapter 10: Yang's Emergency Plans

Emergency Plans from A to Z by Yang Xiao Long

100% foolproof!

A.) Attack: The to-go solution for pretty much everything

B.) Blake Belladonna: Coax Blake to help out (Bribe her with the newest copy of 'Ninjas of Love')

C.) Cookies: Only works when Ruby is involved

D.) Dust: Such a variety, so many ways to solve the problem (Violently)

E.) Explosion: Blow the problem up (My personal favourite!)

F.) Fire: End result of E.) (Burn bitch, burn!)

G.) G-String: Stun the problem with your hot ass

H.) Hide: Hide and hope the problem goes away!

I.) Indecent Exposure: This will hopefully stun the problem (One way or another)

J.) Jaune Arc: Throw Jaune at the problem (Pyrrha will jump in to save him, and will deal with the problem at the same time)

K.) Kissing: Works with surprising frequency...

L.) Lap Dance: If K.) doesn't do the trick, this usually does

M.) Money: It solves any problem (Just ask Weiss)

N.) Nap: Sleep on it and see if anybody still cares afterwards

O.) Octopus: Natural enemy of any female (Only works if the problem is female)

P.) Punch: Punch the problem (Plus points if you can do it with one punch)

Q.) Quit: Give up and go home

R.) RAMPAGE!: Let's just break stuff and see if that solves things

S.) Sexy Pose: Knock the problem out with your sheer sexiness (Works best in combination with I.) and L.))

T.) Tabasco: A squirt bottle full of hot sauce works wonders

U.) Understanding: Attempt to see things from the problems perspective and work out a compromise (Wanted to write 'Uppercut', but Ruby won the coin-toss)

V.) Victory Pose: Act self-assured and hope the problem buys the bullshit

W.) Why?!: Question the universe and/or any higher power you believe in if the first twenty-two plans were dismissed or didn't work

X.) Xyresic: Means razor-sharp (Let your imagination run wild with what this implies)

Y.) Yang it there: Word play of 'Hang in there' (A positive attitute will give your the strenght to endure the problem)

Z.) Zeitgeist: Burn everything down and get the fuck out of town (Word chosen because it sounds awesome and it's hard to find something that begins with 'Z')

"... For the sake of whatever remains of my sanity, I am not going to think too deeply about this," Weiss deadpanned after reading Yang's 'Emergency Plans'.