A/N: Hello there after some time. I'm sorry if it took to long to update but I actually worked really hard on improving the story. I've been thinking it all through and I also ended up writing a really bad chapter so I had to try to rewrite it and in the end I started over. Now it is better then before. So despite how the plot turns out, I hope you appreciate my effort, I really don't want this to suck. So please, enjoy another chapter, things are getting intense here! The fun in Unspoken is nearly over and I'm more than excited to show you what is going to happen next! Sebastian is slowly becoming a person. I bet you waited for it. Please do tell me your opinions and wait patiently, all will be explained and solved, heh~

Btw: I changed my username. Just because.

10: A little bit like victory

Ciel wasn't hell of a cook. The social conventions (also the parental upbringing which he would constantly complain about) were telling him it was appropriate to prepare dinner for the guest. On the other hand, how hospitable should one be when inviting someone like Sebastian in, right? Considering that twice, Ciel realized Sebastian invited him for a meal, or at least a drink, countless times. So ordering a pizza or trying to cook pasta? Ciel in the end decided for pizza.

While Ciel was busy talking on the phone, Sebastian felt free to wander around the room and examine the furnishing and decoration, just like Ciel did at his place, except there was literally no decoration. Most of it looked like placed by a woman's hand, though, so maybe it wouldn't have been such difference. The guest's hand carefully grasped every item he found interesting and looking at it from both sides he placed it back exactly where it was.

A certain thing in the room, although, deserved some more attention. Opening the (apparently unused, which was the thing that interested him) drawers, he found a little box that commonly attracted attention and curiosity at all times. And he truly found what he thought he would find, after briefly glancing in Ciel's direction to stay discreet.

A diamond engagement ring was in the box, and there was no reason for Sebastian not to put it back and keep this for himself. Ciel would not want to talk about it. It was apparent he has failed to propose, there was no ring on his finger and Sebastian supposed he was either refused or changed his mind himself. It surprised him that he cared so little that he left the ring lying in the old second drawer among no longer needed CDs, boxes and old electronics. What kind of a person Ciel was? The kind Sebastian was so fired up to know better.

When he went through other personal stuff on the other side of the room, Ciel finally noticed. He watched Sebastian choosing his sketch book from the various things on the table, such as books, magazines, all sort of pencils and pens, an empty mug and so on.

"They're just my sketches." The statement didn't discourage Sebastian at all, quite contrary, he opened it and went through each one. "Really, don't-" Ciel said uncomfortably, walking there to take it from his hands. When he reached, Sebastian turned around smoothly, browsing on.

Ciel saw it coming; the guest stopped at a certain page, and slowly turned head back at him. The artist sighed and avoided the eye contact. "On my defense, I draw everything." He retorted. The tall male lifted his eyebrows and smiling with satisfaction, he turned another page. It contained portraits, some architecture or nature, a little of animals and the rest abstract or made up. The style visibly changed by Ciel's mood. Some of them were nearly positive, some were messy and dark. Including Sebastian's portrait which would almost insult by its dark impression.

After dinner, to which Ciel switched the TV on to occupy themselves with something more than silence, Sebastian disappeared at the front porch to have a cigarette. Ciel followed him there, staring into the darkened street with him. Ciel took his antidepressants there, and Sebastian saw it. And Sebastian knew it.

From time to time, Sebastian would offer Ciel the opened pack of cigarettes, as if it could help him better. This time, Ciel accepted. He took one of the black cigarettes and Sebastian gladly ignited it for him. This kind wasn't so aggressive to lungs so Ciel managed not to cough at it much. Without commenting it, they stayed there for minutes. It soon began to rain as it was rainy period in Chicago but they were safe under the roof. Sebastian was out of cigarettes, they shared the last one of them.

Ciel was constantly confused by the possibility of Sebastian's heart beating beside him. Yes, truly, he seemed like a robot to him very often, yet it was fantastic to realize he was a human being just like him. He does have feelings, he has thoughts and opinions on things and Ciel's acts and words. He has fears and hopes, past and future, dreams at night. He does have strengths and weaknesses. It fascinated Ciel when thinking about it and tempted him to ask about all. All the facts about him he could have known. What makes Sebastian weak? What does he feel when he kisses Ciel?

The relationship was very strange. The two of them shared a shower and slept in Ciel's and Lizzy's bedroom. Ciel actually didn't mind, he knew Elizabeth would do the same if having a lover. If she already doesn't. They lacked much respect towards each other. And sleeping next to Sebastian looked nearly the same as when with Lizzy, but definitely felt different to him. Maybe it was the safety. The peace of it. Which must have been a false superficial illusion, wasn't it Sebastian who caused him fall asleep in fear, after all? He was clearly not safe, yet he sacrificed everything to risk it.

And he was silly, thinking Sebastian would stay until morning. The guest's bedside was left empty as soon as Ciel's eyelids remained closed safely and his breathing became regular.

The calendar dated five weeks since their first meeting. The graphic designer was getting frustrated, sick and tired. The season started changing and not even occasional sun cheered him up. Sebastian was light and shadow in his life. He kept coming and leaving, it was indeed exhausting. Ciel sought for stability.

Ciel wished he had a psychologist, if only he didn't despise all the doctors and specialists altogether. He wished he had a friend, if only he was a better friend material or if he inherited a little bit of that philanthropy. He wished he had any kind of family, maybe not being the day he said to his relatives and guests they are snobbish dirt under his feet and can all go to hell. Ah, Christmas 2010. He would remember in shame.

Or maybe, if only he had a soul mate, a lover, a companion. Well, soul mate has always been just a legend to him. Speaking of a lover and companion, yes, he had both, but who really made him happy? They both were annoying the hell out of him, Elizabeth only dully but Sebastian passionately. Perhaps the hatred towards him was the biggest attraction. Or maybe just the awoken curiosity within him.

Ultimately, he didn't really wish for any of that. He just observed the subjects making people happy in general. 'Love, friends, family, blah blah.' Something like that, in his head. How he hated to be ordinary – how utterly boring it felt. On the other hand, the absurd common concept of the desire to be extraordinary among people was making him want to throw up too.

Returning to friends, he did have one, after all. While visiting the lounge or fitness with Sebastian, or staying over at one's place, or sharing occasional walks, Ciel grew fond of his sister, who also showed up sometimes.

They exchanged the telephone numbers and even called each other sometimes. Ciel would have gotten to know her better but it seemed wherever he is, Sebastian is, and where Sebastian is, Meyrin is. He didn't understand that well. He knew now they are siblings but he suspected there was more.

One Friday's night, Sebastian wasn't present at the event. Meyrin invited Ciel to spend a night together and he had no reason to refuse. Elizabeth was back in town by now, but that was no obstacle since she, anyways, spent the night with her friends. Or a lover. Ciel thought she suspected him of infidelity and he suspected her of defending herself by doing the same. Which was reasonable and it was bugging him too deep in his mind to do something about it. The love for her would have to be stronger than his interest in Sebastian. Or at least for it to be any love at all.

This time, Meyrin led Ciel to a regular bar. No lounge, no odd people. They walked in, surrounded by the reminiscent atmosphere, ordinary young adults and dance music. Almost unreal to him. Meyrin knew from the phone calls that Ciel has had problems at work lately, which only added to his major depression. This night, though, he tried to relax more as he was advised.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Ciel asked his company at the bar, seemingly not truly interested. But that's what everything sounded like from his mouth. He actually was interested in getting to know her. She was a little bit more open than her brother.

"Do you?" She asked him back with a smile, clearly just provoking and wanting to know his view on that matter. But they did have potential to get confidential.

"Well, no, but I have a hysterical woman living in my house and a ridiculously mysterious stalker behind my back. Do I triumph you?" He joked and took one of the shots they ordered.

"I fuck my dentist. You won." She shrugged shoulders and Ciel smiled widely, entertained at whatever it was if truth or lie. They clinked the small glasses and drunk up.

They were having a great time, it was a positive change to speak to somebody freely, about anything. Meyrin fell for Ciel in every way possible, as for a person, for a friend or a brother. She loved both of the men differently. She had Ciel's back and Sebastian had hers. But the problem was, Sebastian had everyone's, and at the same time he held a knife under their neck.

She wished nothing but well to Ciel, she wanted him to understand Sebastian but on the other hand she was afraid to let him get closer. Not at all because she might even be jealous, she didn't feel this way towards him, she was simply worried.

After a few shots of strong liquor they decided to have a dance on the floor. Such endorphin was all Ciel's ever lacked. He was enthusiastic about seeing some men actually hitting on Meyrin because he's always thought she looked kind of sad working for Sebastian. She never seemed to truly have fun or be free. Now she did.

Ciel also felt liberated without Sebastian's supervision. He considered if having friends would be enough to be happier. About which he also asked Meyrin later.

"Do we really need him?" He said mindlessly on the floor. Meyrin's face contained mixed emotions, which glinted on her face in the several color reflectors.

"Sweetheart we wouldn't survive." She assured him with a saddened smile. He asked why. At that she brought him closer and wrapped arms around his neck. She hugged him comfortably while still dancing, being the nearly same height as he was. "Don't be naïve. He is a drug you can't stop taking." She was being very affectionate and persuasive. Also hopeless.

"Why?" Ciel asked in a pitched voice which disappeared in the sound waves of the fast loud music. The alcohol got him moody. She leaned to his ear and told him it's not his fault. She could be very emphatic about this sensitive topic which Sebastian was. She could feel him starting to tremble. But she wasn't shocked whatsoever. It's always all she's been talking about, this was a pretense. Ciel gained it unconsciously. He seemed happy but after one single note about the man he nearly falls apart in her arms.

Eventually she seated Ciel on one of the sofas and brought him a glass of water she got at the bar. He needed to calm down just a little. They were drunk but not enough to lose their minds. "Ciel, are you thinking about him?" She asked when he could be fully honest now. Despite that he just gave her a shrug of shoulders. He hated that she was right, it affected him deeply at the most unfortunate moment.

"Why are you so fucking obsessed with him?!" Ciel asked her back after a few moments, shaking his head.

"It- is complicated." Was all she said as she was apparently taken aback.

"Typical, you are always complicated. You know what, I think I'm quitting this." He said determinedly and got up from the sofa.

"Ciel wait- I have to tell you something." She said softly and stood in his way. He asked her what it was impatiently. "Sebastian is-" Ciel's eyes widened at the moment, so she turned around. Sebastian was in fact standing right behind her. So she sighed and finished the sentence "-here."

"Why?!" Ciel yelled. He was angry not only about him showing up all of a sudden again but also about his looks. He had a black eye and his lip was bruised, moreover it all looked fresh.

"I told him where we are-" She started explaining and Ciel interrupted her to ask why again and it felt like the chains holding him back were tearing. "Because he asked and there is something important we need to deal with." Ciel got confused about this, he didn't even notice her texting Sebastian before, but apparently she did. And before he could do something, she stepped to Sebastian, leaning closer to say something emphatically which Ciel didn't hear over the music. She looked upset too, so he watched the scene for a while.

He felt the adrenaline flowing in his body when he was given a serious look from Sebastian who was listening to his sister. Even before she stopped talking, Sebastian turned to her and yanked her by elbow to bring her further from Ciel. He leaned to her ear and pressed his lips on it. Then Ciel could see them moving. That left him standing stiffly and staring.

Sebastian pushed her away, turned around and walked the other direction, immediately getting lost in the crowd. Ciel's blood boiled. "D-d-did he just talk to you?!"

Meyrin said Ciel's name softly and she reached for his shoulder to comfort him but he flinched away. He was highly provoked. For a while, he was tensed, his head was hot and his knees were weak. He felt like killing.

"What's wrong with you!" He shouted. He didn't wait for Meyrin's explanation. Furiously, he blasted off, faster than runners on a championship and he rushed at Sebastian, never looking so insane. He pushed all the people aside to nearly throw them down. He forced himself through the crowd and when he got close, Sebastian turned around, with just a spark glinting in his eyes before he was hurled down to the ground, harshly and mercilessly.

"Where do you think you're going, you piece of shit!" Ciel started hysterically, the voice changing into a desperate tone. "Where did you go the other time? Where were you when I woke up?! What did you do now? Why are you here?!" At those sentences he had tears in his eyes and his lips quivered. Meanwhile, his hands were punching Sebastian in his face.

He continued shouting, no need to mention what. He was vulgar, he blamed him for anything he could remember, he said he'd beat the words out of him. There were so many expressions of hatred. He said whoever caused that to him did a 'shitty' job and that he deserved way more. He added on the red, he prettified his attractive face with more bruises. It didn't matter who, but couple of people made effort to lift him off that man.

Everything around was spinning and the music was mad. The pitched noises, making the large loudspeakers nearly explode as well as his head. The voices of the people all around, it drove him so crazy he wished he would faint. Instead he hung in a mindless state and it wouldn't end. It was a conscious mind paralysis.

While being lifted up, he was reaching for something within his range. Not being the people taking him away, Ciel would probably grab any glass of alcohol he would see and would have poured it on Sebastian's bloody face or hit him with it. Instead he was led away by Meyrin, who persuaded the employees to take care of him before they could kick him out of the door. She didn't worry that much about Sebastian, she knew he gets a lot of this and he can always manage such situations himself.

"How do you feel?" The young woman said in a caring voice. Ciel found himself on a bed, in a room, which was small and cozy. It wasn't his own. And it looked way better than Sebastian's place. He didn't remember going here but he refused the idea of falling asleep. Meyrin brought two mugs of tea to the bed and sat on a low chair next to it. He asked her what the hell was going on.

"You fell asleep in the taxi car." She explained simply. He then asked where Sebastian was, while lifting himself up to sit. Meyrin didn't know the answer. So for a while, they said nothing and sipped on their teas.

"I don't know why it happened." Ciel said when his mind was gradually getting free of alcohol. "I beat the shit out of him, will he kill me now?" He asked her seriously. Meyrin shook her head slowly, closing her eyes.

"Honey, he won't kill you for breaking his face. He will kill you if you break his heart." She replied honestly.

"What are you talking about? He has no heart." He joked but didn't show any sign of amusement, neither Meyrin did.

"Ciel..this is getting a little bit serious. You are playing with fire. I don't disapprove your actions but.." She tilted her head.

"Meyrin." He said her name at which she lifted her head again. "You think I'm capable of that?"

"I think you are. Thing is, nobody has ever done that. At least not this way. He's not the type to get romantically involved."

"Are we romantically involved?!" Ciel gasped, leaning on the wall, amused this time.

"Yes, of course, are you stupid?! And now that you've started the fight, you ought to be in advantage Ciel, darling, because otherwise you won't survive this game." She said as if she was begging him.

"Wait, what do you mean?" He asked in confusion.

"You know it well. You realized you are not his toy, and everybody has been expecting it to happen. So now, do manipulate him back, take the chance, own him. Now when he's not ready to fight back yet."

Ciel stared at her in disbelief. "I don't think I can do that. Moreover why are you now against him? Aren't you on his side?"

"Actually, I'm on nobody's side. Sebastian gets what he deserves, he knows the boundaries and his rights. And by time, you find out he isn't as solid as he seems and he too, is vulnerable."

"I know that." Ciel stated.

"Good, but you unfortunately joined this head down and you have one great disadvantage which will make it very hard for you."

"Which is?" He raises eyebrows.

"You're so in love with him.."

He was speechless for a while, not quite believing that at first. Then he asked rhetorically:

"Am I?"

"Oh yes." She said in certain tone. Then there was another moment of silence. Ciel couldn't receive the fact, although he has probably already known that. He didn't want to be foolish now and deny what was obvious. Apparently, he hurt the person he is in love with. And why? Because he cared too much.

"Meyrin.. He talked to you." He pronounced when the image kept repeating in his mind; his lips at her ear, moving and her expression changing at the things he said. Things, he said. Ciel's head spun and the anger would gladly reappear.

"He did." She confessed, nodding her head. She could see Ciel's despair and it was literally tormenting her. "I cannot tell you." She whispered. He whispered back: "Why?"

Then Meyrin stood up without word. Ciel watched her walk to the other side of the room while he took a sip on the beverage. The woman reached for a book in her bookshelf. The top shelf, rather thin, ordinary book. Out of it, though, she pulled something. A piece of paper seemingly.

With it, she came back to her bed, which Ciel was currently sitting at. Gently she took the mug from his hands in case he would get upset, and she looked into his eyes.

"Sebastian" she paused "is a sociopath." She said straightforwardly, nearly bravely. Her guest was fully in attention as she captivated him by the first sentence. "But that is not his fault. He did not choose to be like this." She informed him and it started to make Ciel feel insecure. "I am not allowed to do this but I saw myself doing it sooner or later. Ciel, I don't want you to ask many questions, I can't tell you, I just want you to have this, and please, keep it safe." And at that, she handed him an old but colored photography. Ciel's breath became shallower when looking at it closely.

On the photo, there were five men standing. A group of friends, seemingly. The four men looked like being about their thirties or forties, and the one in the middle was tall but he appeared much younger. Strangely, he had a black mask over his mouth, but the photo didn't look too serious. They simply appeared quite cheerful. Although, the boy in the middle was the only one who was well visible on the photography. All four men by his sides were crossed by a red marker. This awoke mixed emotions within Ciel. He wanted to ask what it was supposed to mean, if only Meyrin didn't ask him not to.

"This is Sebastian." He stated, glancing up at her. She nodded to agree with the presumption.

"And the photo used to be his." She added. This honestly startled Ciel. This was something personal and clearly wasn't supposed to be in his hands now. "It is ten years old." She continued. "If you really mean it and want to stay involved in this, you have to find out yourself. I can only undergo the risk of giving you clues."

Ciel knew he was a doomed phlegmatic and coward to think about this before but she was right in the end, he did want to know more. So far, he was satisfied with Sebastian being mute and himself being blind. But little did he know this could never last long and honestly, they were heading for their downfall.

"Can I only have..two questions?" Ciel said, at which Meyrin nodded eventually. "Who bashed him before?" He asked because he knew she knew.

"Sebastian has debts." Was all she could say about it. Ciel immediately got out of the bed as he couldn't sit on one spot anymore.

"Oh God, and now the most important, why, why won't he talk to me?!" He asked impatiently, turning at her. He was afraid of not hearing the answer.

"You know what?" She said in the end, laughing shortly with a shrug of her shoulders. "I don't even know!" She answered. "Ever since we came to the city, Sebastian was experimenting, you became the target, but you want to know something? He screwed up, no, he truly did fuck up his own game and he can't see ahead of his own plan anymore. That's it, he is improvising and you Ciel, are changing every of his moves. That damn jerk didn't expect to have feelings for you!" She laughed some more, which changed into actual laughing. "Yes, what an idiot, oh don't you see how close you got?" She smiled. "Get out Ciel, we all fucked it up." Resigning, she waved her hand and went in kitchen.

Ciel's heart raced and he was so glad for that. Anything that could make the frozen organ keep going was incredible to him. He felt excited about this. He was terrified and anxious. He knew he is, too, in trouble. But how close can he get, what can he find out and how much does he actually affect Sebastian? Ciel felt a little bit like winning. But on the other hand, he didn't care for victory so much because he would, in the end, let Sebastian win if he had to.