Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here. They belong to JK Rowling and company. I just use them for my own wish fulfillment and amusement.

Summary: It's sixth year and Severus Snape is dying to get Lily Evans to give him a chance at being her boyfriend. He challenges her to two weeks over the Christmas holidays to give him a shot. And if it doesn't work, he'll leave her alone forever. Will he be able to win her heart? Or will her burgeoning crush on James Potter win out over her friendship with Severus?

AUTHORS NOTE: This is a re-posting of this story. I took it down before due to several negative responses and decided I wanted to tweak a few parts, especially the ending. But this is the same story as before, thus far, so no need to read it again. The new parts will be posted as I finish them. But do remember this story is posted under 'angst'. I have taken some liberties with the characters because frankly we don't know that much about James and Lily and Severus as a boy. But this is not an AU story. It's more of a 'what if' scenario that this holiday could have happened and we'd never know about it. So if you're looking for a fluffy story, this isn't it. Be prepared for some tough stuff for my favorite characters. Snape wouldn't be Snape if he didn't suffer. So with that said, I am putting this story back up, but am re-doing the last part I posted (that not many of you probably saw) And if this is your first time reading this, welcome to my story. I hope you'll enjoy it. And if not, that's okay too. This is the story I wanted to tell. I just think I can tell the ending better than I originally did. Thanks for reading along.

This chapter is new material that I never posted before..

Holiday of Hope

A few days went by and the end of the holiday was rapidly approaching. They only had one more day until it was back on the train and back to Hogwarts. Lily had tried to make the most of it by owling Severus back and forth to try and show that she still was interested in his friendship. But his replies were always so lackluster and he kept asking when he'd see her again. So they made a plan to meet up one last time before the holiday was over and Lily had brought some fun surprises with her to their favorite spot. It was her turn to plan the fun day and she'd brought ice skates and her mother's portable eight track player with an array of decent musical selections they could skate to. The pond was frozen pretty good and as long as they didn't venture too far out, she reckoned they'd be fine. She just hoped that her father's skates fit Severus's feet. She wouldn't know until he showed up. Which was taking longer than she hoped, but he finally arrived a little out of breath and she could tell he'd been running to make it.

"Sorry. My mum started being annoying right before I left. She wanted me to help her clean the fireplace. I told her I'd do it later, but she was insistent. She didn't even need my help anyway since she just did a spell to clear it out, but ashes got everywhere, which she made me clean by hand " he said apologetically.

"It's okay. Except you have soot in your hair," she said running her fingers through it to try and clear the ash away.

He quickly wiped at his head and shook it out which just made his hair messier. She couldn't help but laugh.

"Now you look like you've been in a wind storm," she said smoothing it down.

He relished her touch, but he kept trying not to read too much into it. It didn't mean anything, her touching his hair. But it meant something to him that she'd want him to look presentable. But he quickly noted the skates she had sitting by the tree.

"Are we skating?" he wondered curiously, picking up the larger pair.

"I hope so. I brought my father's skates for you. I hope they fit," she said with a smile.

"I hope they do too. And what's this thing?" he asked, picking up the portable eight track player.

"It's music! You can play it anywhere. You just pop the cassette thing in and it's like magic. No record player needed."

"I've only seen these in cars. I didn't know you could carry it around with you," he smiled.

"It was the wave of the future about ten years ago when my mum bought it. It's old, but it still works good. And she had some halfway decent music. The Eagles, The Beatles, Barry Manilow…" she listed off the cartridges she had in her bag.

"Barry Manilow? That's considered decent music?" he chuckled slightly.

"Oh come on. No one sings a love ballad like him. Don't you like Mandy?"

"Not especially, no."

"Spoil sport. I love that song."

"I heard it was written about a dog."

"Liar, it was not. It was written about a girl. I heard him say so on the radio. The dog thing is just a myth."

"Fine, play it if you must. But I don't even know if these skates fit yet," he said with a sigh as he sat down on a rock and took off his grungy old shoes and tried to replace them with the skates.

"So, do they fit?" she asked, as she laced up her own skates.

"Yeah, they fit enough. A little bit cramped at the toe and extra wide everywhere else. Your dad has short fat feet," he laughed.

"You just have long skinny feet. But are they wearable at all?" she fretted.

"Yeah, yeah. I can wear them. My toes are just a little squished is all. No worries," he said finishing the laces and standing up.

She finished hers as well and then she popped the eight track into the player and chose the Eagles instead of Manilow to make him happier. Then she set the volume up full blast and they both hobbled out onto the ice together. Once there, they immediately began skating in small circles, both laughing at the sensation of gliding along the ice.

"This is great. I wish I'd thought to bring skates before," she told him with a grin.

"Me too, actually," he admitted thinking it could have been very romantic at one point, but now that time had passed.

"This song is one of my favorites. Hotel California. Don't you love it?" she said excitedly as the music blared.

"It's pretty good, yeah. I don't get it though. What's it about? Hell?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know exactly. Maybe? It's just so smooth and makes me wanna lie on a bean bag chair and smoke some more grass," she giggled.

He skated up to her and poked her side.

"Shut up about doing more grass shit. That stuff will fry your brain," he teased her.

"Nah, that's LSD. I'd never do that. I'd be way too scared. Wouldn't you?" she asked, poking him in the side right back.

"Ouch! And yes I'd be too scared. I don't like to be totally out of control of my mind. Anyone who would like that must be crazy," he lamented.

"I like control of my mind too. But you know the marijuana was fun. It was like I was me, only better. It's hard to describe. It's not much different than drinking really," she pointed out.

"I'd still never do it. But I think it's kind of funny that you did. I wish I was there so I could have seen how you acted," he chuckled slightly.

"Oh, it would have been boring I think. I mostly just stared at stuff and tried to tell stories but then I'd forget what I was talking about," she told him.

"You'd forget what you were talking about?"

"Yes. I'd just be rambling on and then stop and think, what am I talking about? And have no idea. In that respect, I suppose it was funny. But the Muggles I was with weren't paying a whole lot of attention to me. They were all too stoned themselves."

"I still think it's crazy you met random Muggles and did that. Where were your folks?" he wondered idly.

"They were gone. They'd left for a weekend getaway and left Petunia in charge of me. Except she wanted friends over and told me to get the hell out of the house. So I wandered into town and there they were in their VW Bus. I just said hello and suddenly they invited me to get high. It was all very surreal. And they were much older. Probably twenty. But they were just passing through town and said we could chill and hang and it'd be far out. So I said why not?"

"Now you're talking like one of those hippie people. You're too much, Lily. Sometimes you surprise me," he admitted as he skated past her and grabbed her arm and yanked her with him.

"I told you once that you didn't know all there was to know about me. You claimed to know all my secrets, but I can be surprising sometimes," she said as she let him pull her along the frozen pond.

"You're right, I don't know all your secrets. But you've told me most of them haven't you?" he asked curiously.

"Yep. I have. But it's really not so strange I met up with the hippies. I'm friendly and they were super friendly and I dunno. Seemed like a wicked thing to do," she shrugged.

"What if they were crazy hippies? What if they kidnapped you? What if they forced you to tour after the Grateful Dead with them?" he proposed, twirling her around in a circle and then letting her go.

"Well if that had happened, I guess you would have missed me at Hogwarts because I would have been in a Volkswagen going to see the Grateful Dead. I can think of worse fates," she smiled at him.

"You really are a bit crazy sometimes. I love it," he smiled at her.

"Thanks. At least I'm not really as boring as everyone thinks I am. You realize most people think I'm a goody two shoes and a priss. I so am not. I just am rarely naughty and I believe in having some rules. But I also break rules like crazy too. You kind of have to be willing to go with the flow when you're friends with James and the gang," she tossed out.

"Except you're not friends with them anymore, right?" he asked whizzing past her.

"No, I'm not. For the time being anyway. They're gonna have to show me real changes. I told you that. It's just in the past, they do love to get into trouble. There's so much you don't even know about what they do, except that it doesn't hurt anyone," she informed him.

"Like what for example?"

"Well they have this map of the castle. It's really quite amazing. It shows all the secret passages and ways to sneak out undetected," she explained.

"A map? What kind of map? Where'd they get it?" he inquired.

"I can't tell you. It's secret. I'm not even supposed to know about it but I saw them with it. But I swore myself to secrecy. Besides, I think it got taken away. That's what I was told."

"Sounds boring to me. So what if they know secret passageways out of the castle. Any sixth year does if they have half a brain. I can get in and out whenever I want to. I just never have real reason to go sneaking about," he scoffed.

"Well trust me, it's more exciting than it sounds. But whatever. They're not in my life right now. And they don't know any of my secrets. Only you do," she smiled as she grabbed his arm again and whirled them around together.

"Only me. I like the sound of that," he smiled.

"You're my best friend, Severus. You always will be," she grinned back.

He stopped their skating momentarily and just looked in her eyes. Then he held himself back from kissing her, as he knew it was against the rules now. He let her go and skated away from her again, leaving the kiss hanging.

"Aren't I your best friend too?" she asked, still standing still where he'd left her, and she knew he wanted to kiss her but didn't.

"Of course you are," he said flippantly, not wanting to reveal any more of his futile longings with her.

"If you know secret passageways in the castle we could meet in them and have secret talks. Wouldn't that be fun?" she asked trying to lighten the mood.

"Sure. We could do that. And then no one would see us together. Isn't that more what you mean?" he asked with a tinge of bitterness in his voice.

"That's not at all what I said or implied. I just meant we could do sneaky secret stuff. I'm not saying I'm gonna hide from everyone," she informed him.

"But I can't help but think that's how it'll be. You'll want to hide it. You won't want the world knowing you're still friends with Severus Snape, the greasy loser with the big nose and bad reputation. You think I don't hear what people say about me?" he informed her as he stopped skating and just stood and looked at her.

"Severus, I don't care what they say. I never did before," she told him.

"Yeah, but that was before you were Lily the Great. One of the cool people. You haven't been my friend since you upgraded to better friends. At least in the eyes of your school mates. Before no one knew who you were really. But now they all do. And they know me too."

"So you think I'm a liar then when I say we'll be friends?" she put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"No, I'm not saying you're lying. Just that it might be more difficult for you than for me."

"Well it won't be. I've never much cared what people thought. I mean, yes, I did panic at what my friends would think at first. But then you made me see they weren't really my friends. Not with the way they were acting. But I think if they knew I was friends with you again, they'd lay off. That's what I'm hoping," she said earnestly.

"You're living in a dream world, Lily. They aren't going to change," he said with frustration.

"You don't know that!"

"Ugh, you know what? My feet hurt now. I'm done skating."

He stepped off the ice and trudged up the hill to get his real shoes back on. Lily just stood on the ice for a moment not knowing what it was she said or did wrong this time. Severus was just way too moody sometimes. She finally got off the ice and picked up her music player and switched it off. Then she lumbered up the hill trying not to twist her ankle in the skates.

"What is your problem?" she asked with annoyance as she stood and watched him put his shoes back on.

"Nothing is my problem. I just hate that the conversation always circles back to James and the gang. You're mad at them right now, but you fully plan to make up with them at some point. You think that just because you're my friend, they'll stop bothering me and we'll all live happily together. But that's not gonna happen. Ever. I don't want to live happily with them. I hate them. And they hate me. End of story," he said heatedly.

"I just want everyone to get along. Is that so terrible?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

"No it's not terrible. It's just misguided. They'll never like me. And I'll never like them."

"Great, so then I just get to be caught in the middle forever?" she lamented sadly.

"I thought you were done with them? Wasn't that the whole point? God, you're so annoying sometimes! I don't know what you think is gonna happen tomorrow when we get back on that train, but it's not going to be warm and fuzzy. James is angry at you, and as soon as he sees me, he'll get angrier. And don't even get me started on what the rest of them will do since they follow James so blindly. You're not honestly thinking it's going to be fun and hugs and games just because you say, 'hey Sevvy's my friend now!'?"

"No! I knew it wouldn't be that easy. But yes, I expected them to accept my decision. Otherwise they'll lose me for good," she said with her head held high.

"Oh no! Lily's not our friend anymore! Whatever will we do?" he said mockingly. "Do you think they really care that much about you? No. They don't. I did, but they don't. So don't go expecting miracles."

She felt tears prick her eyes again and she wiped them away furiously. She ripped off her skates and put her own shoes back on.

"You don't have to be so damn mean about it! You act like they could give a shit less what I think or what I want. But you don't even know them! James would care. He does care. And they'll listen to me!" she said angrily.

"Fine, fine. Whatever. It doesn't matter. I just fear that you're picking me now, but when everyone shuns you because of it, you'll have a change of heart. That's what I fear, Lily. The actuality of what's going to happen. You're off in la-la land talking about smoking grass and hugs and puppies, and I'm living in the real world. The world where people won't accept me at all. Much less you and me together, in any capacity. We're safe now in our little world of snow and ice and portable music players. But tomorrow on that train? It won't be like this. Trust me. And I don't think you're ready for it," he said seriously.

"You know what? You're more trouble than you're worth. Nothing makes you happy! Nothing!" she shouted at him.

"You know what made me happy? Us together. But that's not happening now. So yeah, I'm pretty hard to please. Sorry about that. It's a side effect of getting my heart hammered to pieces by the girl I love," he shot back.

"Oh stop it. If I had picked you and said we were together, we'd still be having this same goddamn argument wouldn't we? And don't tell me I'm wrong, because I know you too well. You'd still be freaking out and not trusting me and I'd still be trying to convince you it was okay. That everyone will come around. But the truth is, you just want me all to yourself. No one else in my life but you. No friends, no boyfriends, no nothing. Just you. And Severus, that's never going to happen. I have a life. I have people. And you're the most important one to me, but you refuse to believe that. And I won't sit here and coddle you and promise to run off with only you just so you can have me all to yourself. Grow up. And for God's sake, get over it already!" she yelled at him, then gathered her stuff and stormed off away from him.

He watched her storm off and he instantly regretted the entire conversation. He was far more bitter than he realized. But the truth came slipping out. And not just his truths, but the truth about him. She was right. Nothing would make him happy. And they would still be having this same damn argument. He was an idiot and he knew it. So he got up and ran after her.

"Wait! Lily! I'm sorry!" he said trotting up behind her.

"Save it. I'm so sick of you making me feel bad about my choice in friends or what I think or feel or don't feel. I'm just tired of trying to make you happy when everything I say is wrong somehow," she said tearfully.

"It's not you, it's me. I'm a foolish man. And a selfish one. I do want you all to myself. It's true. I want to stay here, in Spinners End, just the two of us, forever. No one else intruding. But I know that'll never happen. It's me who's living in the dream world, not you. And I realize that now. So I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

"Severus, you'll never have me all to yourself no matter what. Even if I felt romantically towards you, there would still be other people in my life. It's not healthy to even want a person locked in a tower somewhere. You must realize that," she said imploringly.

"I know that. It's just if I have you here with me, no one else can ruin it. And I worry they will. Not just your friends, but everyone. And if it gets ruined, I don't know what to do," he admitted.

"It won't be ruined. You said yourself before that you'd deal with any obstacles. That we both would. What happened to that person?" she wondered.

"He got his heart broken. I was much more confident when I thought you might love me. I thought maybe someday it would just be the two of us against the world. But that all changed. And now I'm worried," he said with tears forming in his eyes.

"Please don't be. You just have to be strong. And tomorrow we'll get on that train together and everyone else will just have to deal with it. Because you're my friend. You'll always be my friend. And I love you. And I won't let anyone tear us apart. Will you?" she asked as she put down her things and grabbed his hands and held them tightly.

He shook his head.

"No."

"Then stop worrying."

"I can't. I feel like I'm going to lose you. Lose this. All of this. And I don't want to," he said tearfully.

"You have to trust me," she said kissing his hand.

"You swear you'll not cave into the pressure and abandon me," he asked her.

"I swear it. And you have to swear that you'll not cave either," she said taking his face in her hands and holding it tightly.

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

And with that she leaned over and kissed him softly, then pulled back and smiled.

"One last kiss."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I just want you to believe in me."

"I do."

"Alright so stop all this bitching and complaining," she smirked at him.

"Why do you put up with me?" he wondered curiously.

"Because I know the real you. I've seen it. All this other nonsense is your front. Your defenses. And boy, you don't want to get on your bad side. I just wish you'd not direct it at me when I don't think it's me you're really angry with," she informed him.

"Then who am I angry with then?"

"The world. Not me. Everyone else. Maybe even yourself a little. But not me."

He listened to her words and they held great weight for him. She was right. He was angry at the world and at himself. It wasn't really her, it was everything else. She was just a sitting target. And he had to stop taking his anger out on the one person who actually cared about him.

"I'm sorry again. I really am. You're right. About it all. About me. You're right."

"Come on. Let's go back to our spot and finish out our fun afternoon okay? It's our last one. We barely got started," she urged him as she tried to pull him along with her.

"I don't want to skate anymore though because my feet did hurt," he warned her.

"Okay, no skating. Just talking and listening to music. Sound good?"

"Alright. Sounds good."

"But no talking about tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. Just live in the now with me."

"Live in the now. Got it."

"Okay, let's go have some fun!"

She dragged him back to the tree and threw the skates down and pulled the eight track player out from under her arm and put it on the ground. Then she popped in the Barry Manilow and made him listen to it just for spite. But it was in good fun. And he knew it. She even made him sing along to Mandy since it was the only song he actually knew. She put her arm around him and urged him to sing his heart out.

"Happy people pass my way, I see a memory, I never realized how happy you made me, oh Mandy! You came and you gave without taking. But I sent you away, oh Mandy! You kissed me and stopped me from shaking, and I need you today oh Mandy!" they both sang and tried not to laugh. Then she looked over at him.

"This is totally your song, Severus. You could have wrote this. But it'd say 'Oh Lily'," she giggled.

"Shut up. I would never write such a terrible song. And I still think it's about a dog."

"It is not! And you gotta admit the part about sending me away is almost exactly what you did today," she reminded him.

"Fine, so I can relate to Manilow a little bit. But whoever Mandy is should have realized he was an idiot and come back to him. Like you did," he pointed out.

"Not every woman is so forgiving."

"True."

"Oh Lily, will you kiss me and stop me from shaking?" he sang to her sarcastically.

She shoved him.

"No way. I said one last kiss, and I meant it."

"I was just joking."

"I know. But still."

"Why did you kiss me? Even one last time?"

She shrugged.

"Felt like the thing to do."

"Well whenever you feel like doing that, let me know, because I'll let you," he smiled slightly.

"I'll remember that," she smiled back.

Then the two of them just sat and talked and didn't bring up any unpleasant topics and no one got angry and no one stormed off. It was exactly how Lily had hoped their last day would be like. And she didn't want to admit that she was nervous too about tomorrow and the train ride. It wasn't just him who was worried. But she was trying to be brave and strong and just go her own way. And if she wanted to be friends with Severus, she would be. But inside she was nervous. It was going to upset a lot of people. Even people who shouldn't care less. Maybe Severus had the right idea just staying here at their spot forever? But she also knew that's not how she wanted to live her life. She wanted a full rich life with family and friends and someday a boyfriend. She had to be brave and strong and just face the crowd and not back down. Just like she made him promise to do. Only it was a lot easier to promise something than to actually experience it. But she was up for the challenge. She had to be. His friendship was too important to lose.

To be continued…please leave comments to let me know if you're liking this story or not. Thanks for reading!