With the winter came rain along with the cold which ruled out any more walks on the beach and to avoid being constantly stuck up in my own house I tended to spend my time with Finnick at his cabin style home. I liked it much more than my modern one even though it had the same basic design, because it had a completely open layout up into his personal bedroom/sitting area/office loft space above the main area. But in the past three weeks since our kiss it had been a struggle because both of us did know when he went to the capitol it would hurt for both of us. He had been right because it did open a door and that door couldn't be closed now, leaving us in this weird place which we didn't know how to get out of. So instead we filled our time with a stupid game where we would ask the other question and see if they could get the fact right.
"Middle name," He questioned as we sat on his couch. Well he sat, facing me and I laid on the other end, looking up to the ceiling as I tried to remember or think of the answer to the fact.
"Oliver," I smile, having known that since his games, which seemed to astonish him based on the look he was giving me.
"How did you know that?"
"From the Finnick Odair fan club cards that some girls made during your games," I answered with a smile. "I believe I can also remember your height, weight, and favorite feature on a girl when you were fourteen," I giggled slightly.
"Well," He motioned.
"Umm…67 inches tall…125lbs…and blonde hair," I smirked at the last fact, remembering a lot of girls having hair that smelled like lemons that summer.
"Yes, well I was 14 and foolish," he smiled to me. "Favorite color?"
"Uh, chartreuse," I guessed and smiled to the look he gave me.
"Green," He corrected and I nodded, making a mental note. "Favorite animal?"
I pursed my lips trying to think up an another reply to the question I didn't know the answer to. "A Narwhal?" I answered, putting on a completely serious tone and yet again he made that face of complete confusion: furrowed brow, slightly pursed lips, and slightly tilted head.
"What is a narwhal?"
"It's like a beluga whale, with a horn on its nose," I gestured, trying to show it even though it probably didn't help at all.
"On its nose?" he teased, mimicking my gestures and I nodded. "Why do you always give such weird answers?" He laughed.
"Because you make this certain face," I answered with an innocent smile and instantly his smile turned into a slightly mischievous one and he launched at me, over my legs with his hands out ready to tickle, a weakness that he had found about a week ago and loved to take advantage of. Letting out a half laugh and half shriek I pushed against him and tried to wiggle out of his grip. Suddenly as I looked up there was this sort of shift as the ceiling of exposed support beams sprouted leaves and more branches.
"Annie," Finnick murmured, stopping his tickling and as usual, I blinked and the vision faded back into normal as I looked to him. His smile was still there, but it wasn't as happy as it just had been a few minutes ago. Instead it was full of worry and even a little sadness.
"Sorry," I frowned slightly.
"You don't need to apologize," he brushed it off and leaned forward placing a soft peck to my cheek before pushing back up and sitting on his side of the couch but facing me. Pushing up on my arms I scooted over to the other side, crossing my legs in front of me but I wasn't sure what to say to him with what had just happened. Looking down to my hands I just twiddled my fingers, picking at the cuticles which the prep team was sure to comment on when they came in two months. "How much sleep did you get? He asked after a long pause.
"About the usual," I murmured, continuing to look down to my hands, "four hours. But I don't have any more pills."
"So the nightmares came back," He murmured and I gave a nod. "Why don't you get more."
"Because," I sighed and reached up rubbing the heels of my palms against my forehead because I had just gone through this with my parents.
"Because…" he led in.
Aggravated, I dropped my hands narrowing my eyes at him slightly, "what am I going to do? Take them for the rest of my life? For the rest of my life I'm going to have to deal with this. I going to have to deal with seeing things that aren't real for the rest of my life, and I don't want to do that by being medicated. I want to learn to manage it."
Licking over his lips, he looked down at his hands and I could see it on his face the struggle he was going through. He didn't like the idea of me potentially going through the flashbacks to the forest again, which I hadn't for a while. Biting the inside of my lips, I timidly scooted towards him until I was sitting knee to knee with him.
"Please don't give up," I whispered worriedly and his eyes immediately shot up to look at me.
"I will never give up on up on you," He said so assuredly that there was no doubting it. "I'm just worried how you're going to take it. Maybe you should wait until after the tour."
"That's already in the deal that my parents made with me," I murmured. "I'm going to take some with me, and if there's any sign I have to start taking them again. But I have two months. Two months to perfect my camera persona."
"But, Annie, how are you going to do that if you can't sleep," he reasoned.
"I'll manage," I smiled to him slightly, but even though I tried to make it reassuring, I could tell that it was coming off a bit unsure. It seemed to please him nonetheless though, because he let out a small smile of his own and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on my lips.
oOo
Wrapping up my hair on top of my head I moved out of my bathroom, ready for bed when there was a small tap on the door in front of me. Looking up, I set eyes on the one and only Finnick on my balcony with a broad smile on his face.
Shaking my head slightly, I moved forward, pulling open the door slightly. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to make sure you get a full nights rest," he explained.
"Finnick, you need to stop coddling me. I need to learn how to do this myself," I sighed softly and his smile dropped slightly.
"Annie, I'm not trying to coddle you," He murmured. "I just don't want you to hurt. I'll sleep on the couch and just be here to wake you up if you have a nightmare." Unable to help it, I pulled the door open more and let him in before moving around to my closet. Stretching up, I moved to grab the extra blanket at the top and snagged a pillow from my bed before pushing him out onto the couch, a bit angry that he was doing this. "Thank you," he grinned innocently over to me as I moved to go back in my room, fully aware that I wasn't too happy. "Goodnight, Annie."
Ignoring him, I slipped into my bed and turned off the bedside lamp, but then that nagging feeling hit me as I glanced back through the open door to see his silhouette settling in on the couch which he couldn't possibly fit comfortably on since I barely fit on it lengthwise. "Goodnight, Finnick," I called back softly before settling back on my pillow.
oOo
'Just keep running. Don't you dare stop running.' A voice sounded in the back of my head.
Trees crashed down all around me. Cracking and splintering before slamming into the blood coated ground, splattering hot, thick, red droplets all over me.
Just keep running! Don't you dare stop running.
Dodging around one of them, I skidded and slipped on the ground, sending myself reeling to the ground face first. Pushing up onto my feet, I could feel the blood all over my face and crowning my hair but a deafening crack made me slip and slide back into a sprint.
Just keep running! Don't you dare stop running!
Suddenly I spilled out onto a clearing where my feet immediately seemed to stick to the ground. Looking down, wide eyed I saw that the ground was more than just coated, it was soaked in it. Struggling, I tried to push back into that run which the voice was screaming at me to do, but I couldn't. Just then I figured out why the voice had been screaming at me to as I was seized by the hair and thrown to the ground. Wiping the red from my face I rolled onto my back only to come face to face with a spear point as it reared back and bounced back toward me.
With a gasp, I flipped open my eyes to find myself staring up at the ceiling and tangled in my blankets. Pushing up onto my elbows, I looked to the clock to see that it was only one in the morning, meaning I had only been asleep for two hours. Still breathing hard, I laid back down, trying to calm my racing heart and realized that I wasn't about to get anymore sleep anytime soon unless I gave up on my ideals of doing this on my own. The only time that I had truly gotten a peaceful nights rest without the help of medication was when I had fallen asleep with Finnick beside me. Biting the inside of my lip, and feeling more like a child than I had in a longtime the factor of actually getting some sleep won out and I pulled off my covers.
Slowly, I moved out into the sitting room where he was snoring softly and stooped down in front of him to find myself more timid than ever. He had lost the blanket at some point in his turning, leaving him just sprawled out on the couch, one foot actually resting on the back, in his long sleep pants. Biting my lip, I looked to his peaceful sleeping features and embarrassedly over his bare chest. Shaking my head, I stood back up and started back to my bed when he suddenly caught my hand.
"Did you have a nightmare?" He whispered his voice a little scratchy from sleep.
"Yes," I whispered back, looking to him as he turned on his side and he pulled me back towards him. Lying down in front of him, he shifted again, reaching forward to pick up the blanket, laying it over with the hand that wasn't attached to the arm under my head.
"Go to sleep, Annie," he whispered and placed a soft kiss on my temple. Settling back against his chest, I laid my arm over his that was around my waist and settled in for the first peaceful night's sleep in a long while.
oOo
"Time to get up," My mom's voice echoed in my head as I rolled over onto my back to once again look up at the ceiling in my room because once again Finnick had carried me there and then disappeared. "You haven't slept in this long for a very long time," she continued as she pulled up the blinds on the doors, letting in the bright sunlight.
"Yeah," I murmured, finding that this time it hurt a little bit that he had done it.