"Take that dress to those three hidin' in there," Allan told Constance, placing another coin in her palm for her efforts.
"It won't fit her."
Allan let out an exasperated sigh. "Just do it. She won't care, long as she can squeeze into it." Softening his tone, he turned on his charm and wheedled, "Do it for me, oi?"
Constance gave Allan the "once over," then nodded in agreement. Like everyone else at the Trip, Constance had a soft spot for Allan a Dale, who was always so funny and entertaining. Rising on tiptoe to give him a kiss, she tucked the coin into her bosom, then flounced up the stairs with the dress.
"How's my sweetie?" she asked, entering the room and heading straight to Robin, infuriating Marian even further. Ruffling her hands through Robin's shaggy hair, she climbed onto his lap and cooed, "Oh, Sweetie, your little queenie demands a kiss."
"Take your hands off him," Marian commanded through clenched teeth. "Is that my dress?"
Constance was having too much fun angering the fine lady to budge. Between planting kisses all over Robin's face, she barked at Marian, "It's Sally's dress, but Allan said I should let you wear it. I told him it won't fit. You're a big cow."
"How dare you?" Grabbing the dress, Marian shoved Constance off Robin's lap with a single swipe. She was determined to fit into the dress and outshine the saucy tavern wench in the garb favored by the girls of the Trip.
"You've been very kind," Robin told Constance as she sprawled on the floor, "but I'm already spoken for. I could introduce you to my friend, however. Much?"
Much stepped forward, pleased yet shy, but Marian blocked his way. "You're far too good for the likes of her," Marian told him, and sighing, Much slunk away to dream of Eve.
"Now," Marian told Constance regally, "you've done your duty. You are dismissed."
The tavern girl glared hard at her, then stood and returned to Robin. "I'm the Lady Marian," she said invitingly, "and I've tucked a coin down my bodice. It's all yours if you can find it."
"Marian?" Robin grinned. "What game is this?"
"It's called 'Finders Keepers,' ' Constance explained. "Go on. Slip your hand down in there and go fishin.' "
Eyes gleaming, Robin only hesitated for a second.
Marian threw herself between them before he had a chance, but Robin didn't skip a beat. Upon seeing the real Marian, he eagerly slid his hand down her bodice, but withdrew it when she slapped him hard across his face.
"Marian?" he pouted, completely baffled. "This is not a very fun game."
"It's not your fault," she said soothingly to him, cradling his aching head in her arms. "It's that wicked girl's. Get out," she ordered Constance.
With a huff, Constance flicked her trademark towel over her shoulder and sauntered away, slamming the door behind her.
Marian couldn't resist the confused look on Robin's face. After kissing him herself, she advised, "Now, turn your eyes to the wall, both of you. It's time for me to change into my disguise."
...
"I don't believe this," Allan murmured to himself. "The trouble I put myself through, and for what? Not bein' funny, but it's not as if they'll smile and welcome me back to the gang!"
At least Will and Djaq had treated him civilly, if somewhat distantly. Well, Will always had been a bit wooden anyway. Allan chuckled to himself, amused by his apt description of Will Scarlet.
"Wooden!" he laughed. "Good one!"
Djaq's eyes had been full of hope at seeing him, yet they had grown guarded and distrustful when Allan told them what he could make out of Marian's plan.
"But what does Robin want us to do?" Djaq had asked, and Allan had laughingly described Robin's fragile mental state. Neither of them had shared Allan's amusement.
"Just go fetch John and bring him here," Allan had told them. "Then, wait for Marian's signal, and create some sort of disturbance."
"What's her signal?" Will needed to know, and Allan realized Marian hadn't made that clear.
"I don't know. She'll make it obvious."
"Allan," Djaq had pleaded, "this isn't a trap, is it?"
"Naw, I'd never set you up...not any of you. You got to trust me on this. Marian's counting on you to help her rescue Robin."
And Will and Djaq had nodded to one another, and run off to find Little John.
Once they were out of sight, Allan rejoined the party in the Trip.
Gisbourne was being his usual somber, threateningly ominous self. "He can kill a party faster than he can kill a man," Allan thought, before lifting a mug of ale and raising it to his lips.
"Gents," Allan called out with false cheeriness to the gloomy gathering, "anyone here fancy a wager? Any of you gents betting men, oi?"
A small crowd grew interested, grateful for the welcome diversion.
"Giz!" Allan called. "Bet you can't drink as much as Robin Hood and still walk a straight line!"
"What are you babbling about?" Gisbourne sneered.
"Just suggesting a friendly little wager. We used to hold drinking contests all the time in the forest. Just for fun."
"Just for fun," Gisbourne repeated, spitting out the words. "And who won these competitions?"
"When it wasn't me, of course, it was usually Robin."
Gisbourne sneered again. "So, Hood's a drunkard, as well as a liar and a thief. Stands to reason."
"Yeah. Well, um...Robin can really hold his liquor. You gotta admire him for that."
"Admire Hood?" Gisbourne sniffed distastefully. His manner implied Allan had said something toxic.
Squire Thornton approached his brother-in-law, interested in the talk of a wager. "What's this I hear about a wager?" he asked, always eager to make some quick money.
Adopting his most genuine look, Allan began spinning his yarn. "I was just betting Giz here he can't hold his liquor as well as Robin Hood. But it doesn't matter, if Guy won't play."
"Sounds like an easy bet. Take it," Thornton suggested.
"I can beat Hood at anything," Gisbourne bragged, making up his mind. "Girl, ale! I'll drink the legs off Hood."
Allan smiled slyly. "Bottoms up!" he toasted.
...
Much was confused, even more so than usual.
"Marian, tell me again the reason for you wearing a tavern girl disguise?"
"Well," Marian began, squeezing her curves into a gown two sizes too small, "somebody needs to help Robin back to the forest. That would be you."
"Yes, Marian. I understand that part. But what about you dressing up? Is it really necessary?"
Marian didn't want to admit she wanted to outshine that trollop Constance, who had been so free kissing Robin.
"Well, somebody else needs to infiltrate the party downstairs and find out what Gisbourne and his friend are up to. What's their relationship? What are they doing? And most importantly, how can we stop their plans?"
"And you think you're cut out for the job? Unbelievable!"
"Of course I am, Much. It's what I used to do in the castle all the time."
"Well, yes. Perhaps. But all the same, Robin's not going to like you throwing yourself in Gisbourne's path, Marian. If anything should happen to you..."
Marian smiled. "Why, Much! You're worried about me! How sweet!"
Much colored. "How can I not worry? Your scheme, if I do say so myself, is full of holes, Marian. Full of holes! It's reckless, and not well thought out, and...and...harebrained! It's no wonder you and Robin are so fond of each other! You're both of you mad!"
"One hundred ninety-nine, four hundred three, two thousand seveny-six," Robin counted, obediantly keeping his eyes on the wall, as Marian had requested. "Ready or not, here I come!"
Robin turned and spun around, then dizzily lost his balance and fell face down on the floor.
"Ouch!" he cried, sitting up and rubbing his nose.
"Much, he's getting worse!" Marian dropped to her knees beside Robin and passed a hand across his brow.
"I know! I know! I hate this!" Much was frantic.
"Hello, Marian!" Robin grinned, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her in her disguise.
Marian tried not to blush as Robin's eyes appreciatively scanned her form. "He seems a little better now," she gulped, made nervous by his devastating grin and lustful gaze.
Recovering her composure, she forced herself to get down to business. "Now, Much, listen. Here's the plan."
"I like the plan," Robin grinned.
"You haven't heard it yet, Master," Much scolded.
"It looks good, though. Very good."
"Put your tongue back in your mouth and stop panting. Marian's trying to tell us her plan."
"Yes. Thank you, Much." Marian couldn't help but be pleased at the effect her dress was having on Robin. "Now, here's what we do. I'll give the signal to Will, Djaq, and John, outside the Trip. They'll create a disturbance, and you and Robin can climb down the rope from the window and make your escape."
"Much hates climbing," Robin said seriously. He then burst into hearty laughter, as if he had said the funniest thing ever.
"Get him back to the forest as quickly as you can, Much. Once I'm certain Gisbourne's so drunk he won't recognize me, I'll go downstairs and find out all I can. Then, I'll rejoin everyone in the forest. Don't worry, Much. It's a very basic plan. What could go wrong?"