The French-Canadian Way (Hetalia)
Author: Ashynarr
Summary: In canon, Matthew was raised by Francis and Arthur, but didn't turn out too much like either on the surface. What if he'd taken after his founding Nations just a bit more?
Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.
Warning: CanAme, French!Mattie
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"I think I like it here already," Mathieu commented after they'd slid into opposite sides of the booth. "It's friendly."
"That's part of the point of a diner," Alfred replied with a grin, pulling over one of the menus at their table to start browsing through it. "I figured it'd be nice since Sue recommended it, and since we're both here anyways, I thought it might be nice to hang out and stuff, ya know?"
"You've been missing me, then?" The Canadian smiled, flashing just a hint of teeth when Alfred flushed and glanced back down to his menu. After finally getting a happy closure to his worries, he'd had the fond joy of realizing that for all his brashness and attention seeking, Alfred really couldn't handle direct flirting without becoming a shy, blushing wreck, something Mathieu used to full advantage whenever they were alone together.
"Well, yeah, of course," Alfred replied once the blush faded a bit, glancing back up with his own heart-warming smile. "It's been like three months."
"It has," Mathieu agreed. "But that's what happens when both of us are swamped with paperwork, I suppose."
The American made a face. "Ulgh, no kidding. But I've gotten through most of it so I should have some free time after the meetings if you want to stick around."
"I'll have to check in and see if anything critical's come up first," Mathieu apologized, sighing in sympathy at the brief droop of the other's form before continuing. "But I think I could make room for a week or so off."
Alfred perked back up. "You know, we should totally go down to Disney; I've heard they've got some neat new rides and stuff since I last went down there, and it's way more fun to go with someone than on your own."
"The one in Florida?" Mathieu asked, sighing at the affirmative nod. "I'll have to remember some sunscreen, but I'd be alright with that. You know I don't do well in the heat."
"It's fall, so it'll be cool enough," Alfred promised. "And I'll pack some too just in case."
"I'll hold you to that," The Canadian mock-threatened with a fork, not bothering to drop his smile as their waitress finally appeared to take their orders.
"What'll you two be having?" She asked, glancing between them and flushing slightly as she met Mathieu's grin.
"I'm not quite sure, actually," Mathieu replied, glancing back down to his menu before looking back up to her. "Is there anything you'd recommend?"
"Ah, well," She returned the smile. "I really enjoy the BLT they have here."
"Then I suppose I'll have to give that a try, if it comes with such high praise." He winked, feeling a bit smug that he still had his easy charm even if he hadn't practiced much lately.
"Great!" She beamed. "Would you like a drink with that?"
"Just water, I think." Mathieu decided after glancing back down to the menu.
"Alrighty," The waitress nodded, turning to Alfred. "And you, sir?"
Mathieu set his menu down and glanced up, frowning when he saw Alfred staring at his own sourly. "Al?"
"A coke and hamburger for me." The southern Nation replied shortly, setting his menu down as well and not looking up as she took them both.
"Right," She replied after a second, glancing to Mathieu sympathetically. "Your food should be done in about fifteen minutes."
The waitress left, leaving the two alone in a suddenly awkward silence that the Canadian wasn't quite sure how to break. Alfred still wasn't looking at him, and with nothing else to do he reluctantly asked, "Er, is something wrong?"
"It's nothing," Alfred bit out, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Just remembering some stuff I have to do."
"Ah," Mathieu relaxed again, smiling. "Don't let yourself worry about that - it's why we're here together right now, isn't it?"
The American hummed in annoyance but nodded, relaxing after another deep breath and putting on another small smile that none the less felt a bit less light than before. After taking a moment to think, Mathieu hit on what he figured would be a safe topic to take Alfred's mind off of other things.
"How has Tony been doing?"
Alfred perked up at that, sitting back as he began to detail the recent shenanigans the alien had gotten into both on and off planet, complete with sound effects and wild hand gestures that emphasized his enthusiasm. Mathieu was content to listen, resting his head on a hand while smiling.
Alfred was right in the middle of describing the alien's most recent misadventure out in space when the waitress returned with their food.
"Wow, this looks great," Mathieu complemented, smiling at her and drawing out another flush. "Thank you for recommending it."
"No problem," She replied, flashing a small smile back. "Just let me know if you need anything at all, alright?"
"I'll keep that in mind," The Canadian promised, turning back to his food after she left and deciding to start in. The first bite told him he'd made the right call, though with recommendation from one of Alfred's States he figured it would be good in any case.
He glanced up to tell Alfred as such, only to hesitate when he saw the American tear a bite out with a bit more force than necessary. Maybe it'd be better to wait just a bit, then…
By the time they finished their meals and left, neither of them had spoken, and Mathieu's concern had been pushed aside in favor of annoyance. Alfred was the one to invite him out here to catch up and spend time together after the meetings, so why was he suddenly acting like he didn't even want him around?
Even now, Alfred was a few steps ahead, pointedly not talking to him even as they both walked back to his car for the likely awkward trip back to his apartment. Something really needed to be done, and soon, because really this was just getting ridiculous.
"Alfred, I don't know what's going on, but you're being ridiculous. I thought you wanted to hang out, but you've been ignoring me since we got our food."
The American stopped, turning to Mathieu with an incredulous expression. "I'm being ridiculous? You're the one who was flirting with the women in there even though we were in the middle of a date!"
"Flirting?" Mathieu frowned, trying to see what the issue was. "I was only being friendly."
"You were winking at the waitress and staring at her ass when she went to get us our check!"
"I wasn't looking at her ass," The Canadian denied, though he did realize with a little guilt that he had been staring at her legs… "You could have said something, you know."
"I thought it was obvious that when you were on a date with someone, you don't spend that time flirting with other people!"
"I'm not even asking for their numbers or making passes," Mathieu felt the need to defend. "It can barely be called flirting if I'm just complimenting them."
"God damnit, Matt," Alfred exhaled sharply, fists clenched tightly. "Do you even seriously want this relationship, or are you just stringing me along until you can fuck a few favors out of me?"
Mathieu's jaw dropped at the accusation. "You're the one who never said anything - maybe you're the one not taking this seriously!"
"You're right, maybe I should have," Alfred agreed, voice dripping with cold fire. "It's been ten years, and in all that time I shoved down my disappointment when you looked at other people like you'd consider bedding them, figuring I was reading too much into it, that you were getting over old habits, that you'd actually start acting like a fucking boyfriend and not a one night stand once you got past the stress of recent politics."
He shook his head, looking disappointed now as well. "Obviously that was the wrong decision, because you haven't learned or changed a damn bit in all that time. Sometimes I wonder if you're actually telling the truth about liking me or if I'm just a convenient fuck buddy between being your neighbor and being a wealthy superpower."
The words stung, the Canadian reeling back like he'd been physically struck. How dare he accuse Mathieu's feelings of being anything less than genuine! "Why would I bother faking it? You snore in bed, you take up far too much room, you're loud, obnoxious, zealous, overbearing, attention hogging, and utterly oblivious to the things around you. All of which I've been willing to overlook so far for you."
Alfred went still. Absolutely frozen, as if he'd turned to marble on the spot, blank gaze settled onto the northern Nation.
Then he started shaking, starting with his chest and rippling outwards, suddenly filled with so much energy it seemed fit to burst, and Mathieu felt the overwhelming urge to start cowering, but refused out of anger or pride.
"Fuck you, Canada. And here I thought you were better than Francis, but at least he doesn't lie about being an unfaithful whore."
Canada. The word dropped ice down him more than the insult to his character, cooling his rage abruptly and leaving him with hollow horror as he watched the American turn on his heel and leave. When was the last time he'd been called that?
He thought back, farther and farther, eventually hitting on the last time they'd been at war more than a century and a half ago. Tabernac, even when they'd argued over participating in wars or civil conflicts, they'd called each other by their human names, because they were best friends, neighbors, partners.
He swallowed, feeling the last of his heart sink to the mud as he stared after Alfred. Everything he'd said weighed him down further, because he realized with no small amount of shame that a part of him that had always broiled with resentment had genuinely meant them, no matter that the rest of him could not imagine Alfred without many of the traits that had caused Mathieu to fall in love in the first place.
He'd fucked up bad, and he didn't know if he could fix it. But he had to try.
~0~0~
It was a long hour to trudge his way back to the apartment Alfred was staying in here, a long hour that cooled off whatever anger remained and leaving him feeling particularly numb in the inside. Honestly, if he'd been in Alfred shoes, he wouldn't bother with forgiving himself, because what he'd done and said were so far beyond the line it couldn't even be seen anymore.
At the door he hesitated, wondering if he should even be attempting this right now, but he really wasn't sure of the next time they'd see each other if he turned away - it could be months, and he didn't want to stew over his own failures for that long.
With that thought in mind he knocked and waited. And waited. And waited a bit more, feeling his head slump down in defeat right before he heard a muttered, "What do you want now?"
"I'm sorry," Mathieu apologized, feeling even more like scum on hearing the state he'd reduced Alfred to. "You're right. I should have thought about what I was doing, but I didn't, and I don't have any good excuse for it. I shouldn't have insulted you like I did, no matter how angry I was, and I definitely shouldn't have tried to deliberately hurt you for petty revenge.
"I know you don't have reason to believe me, but I am completely sorry for hurting you for so long and not noticing, and I understand if you want to go…"
He trailed off, not sure what else he could say, leaving them at another stretch of silence. Part of him wondered at whether Alfred would just wait for him to leave, would refuse to answer, but all he heard was the eventual click of the door being unlocked.
Accepting the peace offering for what it was, he pushed the door open slowly and stepped inside, waiting for his neighbor to kick him out again at any second, especially when he didn't speak up right away, just stared at the northern Nation with drying cheeks.
"...you weren't completely wrong, either," Alfred eventually admitted, looking away towards nothing in particular. "I should have said something sooner, but I didn't know how to mention it without sounding overly jealous or controlling. I know you hate it when I try to tell you what to do, and I really wanted to try and avoid that when we're still figuring all this out, but I guess it just ended up making things worse."
He closed his eyes and laughed weakly, almost looking defeated. "I mean, I know I'm obnoxious and overbearing and stuff, but I thought that those might not be bad, yeah? Because I mean you didn't hate me for them, even if the rest of the world did, and I thought that'd be enough."
Alfred was set to continue, but Mathieu put a stop to that by resting his hand over the American's mouth. "Alfred, I didn't mean any of those things. I was completely serious when I said I wouldn't bother faking my affections towards you, because there's nothing to gain, especially when our people are so worked up over this."
Alfred relaxed, smiling just a touch, but it was enough. "I think we should probably try and learn to talk this sort of thing out if we want to try again, because I'm really not interested in another blow up like this."
"You're telling me," Mathieu sighed, allowing himself to smile a touch as well. "I think I can live with that plan if it means things get better from here on out."
"That's the spirit," The American joked. "Nowhere to go from here but up, right?"
"Right."
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AN: Well this took nearly a week of crying and floundering to get done, but I did it, so yay only two or three more chapters to go depending on what I want to do to wrap stuff up. I'm figuring I might do a bit more with Arthur's little issue but I'm still thinking of how to do that tastefully, but I should be able to finish this story up in the first week of July, so look forward to that!