Broken
I sat silently. My knees folded up to my chest as I rocked back and forth, staring into the emptiness, my mind just as empty as the word suggested.
Emptiness.
Empty.
This feeling. Something is missing. A huge part of my soul feels as though it had been ripped from my body, leaving the last fraction to cry in fear and gasp for the wish to stay alive.
Was it my fault?
What did I do?
Did he never like me too begin with?
Did he only stay with me only out of the kindness of his soul?
A violent shiver rocketed through my circuits and body, my head rolling forward, the temple resting against my wrists as another painful memory arose in my mind. My eyes shut tight as I tried to block the thought out of my mind, of a scene which had only occurred moments ago.
"So why'd you bring us here, 2?" I asked my tone merry as always when I was in 2's presence. The stitchpunk in question stopped walking as he stood by a piece of the many scattered plates from the walls of long deceased houses of the fellow long deceased humans. I looked out to the emptiness. We were only just outside the sanctuary, not far away at all. I then looked back at 2. He had gotten better over the week. His eye still cracked, but his bruises and cuts were healed now, and he could walk much better now, although he wouldn't have to get better if not for 8. That no good, dirty, rotten, self-absorbed-
No... The more I think of him, the more I think angry and un-pleasant thoughts. I'm with 2 at the moment. When I'm with him, I should be thinking of nothing but joyous moments, like the ones we share.
I walked over and sat by him, as he gestured me to. I looked over at him and smiled, expecting a usual sweet smile from him in return.
He sighed. His expression blank and rather saddening. I immediately frowned. "2?" I asked, gently placing a hand upon his shoulder. He looked up. "What's wrong-?" I didn't quite finish as he slid my hand off his shoulder with his own, bringing it close to his chest as he placed his other hand over mine.
"0." His voice sounded rather serious, at the same time, tender and gentle. Well, nothing less was expected from my sweet two. He looked up at me, his expression matching his tone of voice almost perfectly. "I know you and I have been together for a while now. We have shared so many wonderful moment together, too many to be counted." He sighed, shaking his head gently. Concern and confusion filled my mind.
Why didn't I see it coming?
No, I had to be idiotic, flashing a goofy grin at him.
"Yeah, the best of times!"
"0..." He sighed in slight irritation, shoulders slumping, seeing that I hadn't heard him as I continued.
"We are so great together, right?"
"0." A little louder, but still unheard.
"You're one of the first people who actually wanted to talk to me. Excluding 11 of course." I chuckled giddily.
"0!"
I sighed, still not noticing, "It's great to know you'll always be here for me and-"
"I think we should stop seeing each other."
That shut me up. Why didn't I do that before? Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!
I faced him; a look of pain plastered my face.
He didn't really just suggest-?
No. No, no, no. I-it had to be some sort of joke, o-or something!
A gave a little giggle, my lip turning up at the very corner of my mouth. "Y-you're... Nice joke, 2! Ha-ha! Good one!" I giggled some more. His expression spoke for him as my laughter died out quick, as reality hit me hard, like a ton of bricks. My face fell.
"N-no... You're not kidding..." I slowly pulled my hand from him. He let me go, looking at me softly.
"0..." He began again, reaching out. I flinched away. How could he do this to me?
"Why!" I cried, not bothering to suppress the oily tear building and falling form my eyes.
"0... Please... You know as well as I do that I can barely fend for you." I shook my head in disbelief as he continued. This just couldn't be happening... "After 8 took a beating on me, I realised that I'm only furthering you're danger, simply by not being able to take care of you properly."
"No..." I breathed tearfully, feeling my soul shattering at his every word.
2 looked up gently, placing his hands on mine once again. "Oh, 0, please... Think long and hard. You don't love me in this way. You're simply young and confused..."
"NO!" I unexpectedly bellowed, ripping my hands away from him, leaping up and getting out of there. That horrible scene. I couldn't stand it.
I couldn't comprehend it all.
It just can't be true.
He never loved you...
That voice! NO! Go away please!
You knew it all along. He never liked you. Whoever would love you? You're Zero! You're nothing!
NO!
My body slammed into another, sending me tumbling backwards. I looked up through my tears. Was I inside already?
Who of all people had to be there to make it all worse? 8 of course. He turned to me. His disapproving and grumpy expression suddenly melted into that of one of concern and surprise.
"0?" He rumbled, sounding as surprised as he looked. I hadn't spoken to him since the incident with him and 2 a week from this time, but oddly enough, I had seen him a few times. He'd usually look at me with a slightly pained expression, before turning away pitifully. I'd try to suppress the memory of seeing him in such a state, but... Well, thinking it's going to bring back more pain.
I simply whimpered and sobbed half-heartedly. "Hey, w-what's wrong...?" He leaned closer, frowning. In concern or confusion? I didn't care. The moment I was once again on my feet, I found myself running once again, ignoring the large stitchpunk's calls for me to come back...
...
Now here I am...
I found a quiet spot out the back of the sanctuary. In books, I read how houses always seemed to have had gardens. I used to wonder how green and bright this garden could have looked if the machines hadn't wiped out all of the past life from this world.
But it was all gone.
All life.
This world is empty.
MY world is empty.
Like this feeling. This horrid, horrid feeling.
Why was I made with feelings?
Was it my punishment? To feel this pain for being such a failure?
I heard his heavy footsteps.
I immediately turned my cheek fabric damp and stained from my tears.
8 stared down, a blank expression clear on his face.
I sniffed and wiped my hand across my face as I stood. My head still facing him as my body stayed faced away.
8 shuffled closer, holding a hand out cautiously, "0...?"
"Why are YOU here!" I snapped angrily. Why was he even here? If it hadn't had been for him 2 wouldn't have thought he'd be too weak to care for me. He wouldn't have left me broken.
His fault...
My eyes narrowed, "It's your entire fault!" I growled, turning my body to face him. He frowned slightly. Not in anger, but more confusion.
I stomped over, "If you hadn't made 2 feel so weak he wouldn't have left me! He'd still be with me! He'd still care! It's all your fault!" My head rolled forward, my chin only just touching the bow of my bandana. I shut my eyes tightly as I slammed the side of my fist into his giant stomach, not much reaction seemed to rise out of the larger stitchpunk, except a low and surprised grunt. No other noises aroused from him as I continued to hit him.
I simply kept sobbing, repeating 'it's your entire fault' as I pounded at his stomach. I only stopped when I felt his hand slid around the wrist of my fist. I didn't struggle against him. My energy seemed to be draining fast, the adrenaline rushing out of my system, my words getting weaker until they were simply whimpers and more pitiful sobs. The top of my head rested against his chest as I continued to sob.
His hands had slid over my back and waist. He gently pat my back and rubbed my shoulder, hushing me.
I had honestly never expected 8 to be comforting in any way, especially towards me. I thought he hated me.
Did I just read him all to wrong?
Was I the one wrong?
Was it my entire fault...?
My fault...
He moved back slightly, leaning his face closer so it levelled with mine, with didn't take much as I came up to his shoulders in size comparison.
"You okay now...?" I shrugged one shoulder, wiping the remaining oil in my left eye. Before I could reach for my other eye, 8's gently cupped against my cheek, his thumb wiping away the oil. I looked at him, not really able to look anywhere else.
I could barely believe the caring smile I could spy on his face.
Did he... care...?
But... All those times he had mocked me, hurt me. It just didn't make sense.
Unless...
Did he just not know how to comprehend certain feelings? Did he just need someone to show him compassion, and maybe even friendship?
But why me...?
"Why, 8...?" I breathed gently, searching for every question I was too afraid to ask the giant guardian, "Why me...? You comfort me one moment, the next you seem to despise me...? Why?"
I watched as he frowned slightly. "Des-what...?" I couldn't help but let out a slight scoff of amazement for the sheer idea he didn't know what despise meant.
"Hate. It means hate. Loath. Despise. They all mean the same thing." His eyes widened slightly.
"I-I don' hate ya, loath ya, or even desp-despise ya." I frowned slightly as he continued. "I only wanna protect ya, but I didn' think ya wanted me to, since ya had 2. But I... I..." He sighed heavily, looking down, his arms slumping down to his sides. "I-I jus' don' know. Like you said yerself, I'm an idiot."
As shock of guilt stabbed through me as I bit my bottom lip (with what, I didn't know, as I didn't have teeth, being a stitchpunk), I reached up to him slightly.
"8..."
He sighed, backing up slightly. "Don' say it ain't true cus I know it is. I hardly know what anyone says most of the time cus I'm so stupid."
I gently grabbed his arm to get his attention. "8. Please listen to me." He looked at me, showing I now had his attention.
"Yes, it's true. You aren't the sharpest tool in the shed, yes, you can be quite a bit of a bully to others, and yes, you don't always make the best choices." His head lowered. I frowned, placing my hand under his chin and gently lifted it up to face him again.
"But," I continued. "No one is perfect. Not everyone is smart, not everyone can be kind and everyone makes mistakes, no matter what. You just need to remember, we all have our faults. It's what makes us who we are."
I couldn't help but grin as he smiled back at me, his face enlightening.
"Yer pretty smart, Z'..." He rumbled gently, that being one of the first compliments I have ever heard from 8's lips. I smiled widely, feeling a small blush creep across my cheek.
"Y-Ya wouldn' mind sharin' some of yer smarts with me, would ya?" I faced him in confusion.
"Pardon?"
He seemed to gulp slightly, "I-I'm not that smart, we both know. B-but, do ya think you could... Teach me some of those, uhm... fancy words, ya use a lot?"
I smiled. I couldn't believe this almost. I had never seen 8 acting so gentle, calm and possibly even child-like. It was a new side which I wanted to explore a bit more.
A small thought then crossed my mind.
We both had our flaws. He whilst less intelligent than most, was a great fighter. I, on the other hand, while somewhat smart and creative, would most likely perish should I attempt to fight a feather.
It had set an idea in my mind.
"Only on one condition..."
He frowned slightly. "What?"
I sighed gently. "I'll teach you some new words, but only if you could, maybe, teach me a few combat and fighting skills...?"
He smiled widely, before reaching forward and grabbing my small hand in his giant one, shaking it gently.
"We got's us a deal, Z'"