Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter 10

It didn't take long for Adam to pile his essential things into his car; he'd packed up most of his clothes and his school and art supplies but he was keeping a lot of his stuff at the house in La Push, a silent signal to Carrie that he wanted to come back as soon as possible.

Carrie had loaded her car too, it hadn't taken me long to fix it and her things were packed into boxes and suitcases and stuffed into the back seat. The house was locked up tight, the curtains drawn against the windows and the spare back door key added to the keyring I kept my house and car keys on. She had hugged me tightly and promised to come home as soon as she could get Adam into a local school, then kissed me on the cheek and drove on ahead.

I stood in front of Adam, at a loss as to what to say or do or how to make this okay. I dropped my head and pressed it against his chest, my hands gripping at his t shirt. I could hear his heart beating.

"I'm sorry, Jake," he murmured and rubbed my back.

"I love you so much," I choked out and he pulled me up so he could cradle my head into his neck.

"Ssh, it's okay," he whispered. "We'll make this work, I promise." His lips found mine, sealing his vow and he pulled away, taking the half- step forward to his car. "I'll call you when I'm there, okay?"

I nodded mutely and standing in front of his now empty house, watched him drive away.

-x-X-x-

I was laid out on my bed when he called about two hours later.

"I'm here," he said as I answered.

"I guessed that," I teased him. "How is it?"

"Fine. I have my own room."

"That's good." It was too awkward.

"It's not as secluded as my room at home."

"Oh." Shit. Conversation, Jake, remember that? "How's your family?"

"More pleased to see Mom than me. I'm the troublemaker, remember?"

"Yeah, I learned that." Silence.

"I miss you Jake, already. I know it's soon, but…"

"I miss you too. Do you want me to run out to you tonight?"

"Not tonight, I've got to spend some time with my family. I'll give you a call after school tomorrow, yeah?"

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you."

I cried myself to sleep.

-x-X-x-

The next day I was forced to go to school by my dad pounding on my bedroom door at a stupid hour of the morning. I have no recollection of what I was supposedly taught in the first few hours there, I might have physically been in class but my mind was miles away; thinking of Adam, how his first day at a new school was going, how long it would be until I could see him again.

That night I ran for Seth to make up for the night he covered for me. It wasn't painful or annoying or tough, it just was. I ran, patrolled the perimeter of our land and then went to Adam's house and slept in his bed because the sheets smelled of him. We still hadn't talked.

I went to school the next day in the same clothes I had worn the day before and a black zip hoodie I had found left in Adam's closet. It smelled of him too. I couldn't face my friends at lunch so I grabbed a sandwich and an apple and went down to the motor shop, sitting on a bench and chatting with a couple of guys reconstructing an old Harley. I had some experience in this and they seemed happy for me to just sit and comment on what they were doing with no pressure for me to talk about my boyfriend or my fucking feelings.

I drove home from school with the radio off, my head too full of fuzz to be able to deal with music or my own thoughts. I pulled up and noticed Sam's truck in front of the house.

"Hey," I called as I climbed out of the rabbit. "Is everything okay? I didn't expect to see you here."

"Jake," Sam said and got up from the old rocker on our front porch. "I need to talk to you."

"Sure," I shrugged and sat on the railing opposite him.

"The pack are worried about you," he went straight to the point. "You've been like a zombie these past few days. Is everything okay with Adam?"

"Not really," I said, a bit pissed off at him. "He's not here."

"I know that, Jake, but you're more upset than just that. Why haven't you called him?"

"He hasn't called me." I shrugged him off.

"I think you should go up there," he insisted.

"He might not want to see me."

Sam sighed and checked his phone. He quickly answered a text message then turned back to me. "Why did you tell him no, Jake?"

"Because it wouldn't mean anything," I was arguing this point way before I needed to. "I can't marry him, not really. Same sex marriage is not recognized as legal in Washington State, Sam, so what's the point?"

"Is it about the piece of paper to you? Or is about a commitment?"

"I've already committed my life to him!" I threw my hands in the air, shouting now. "I imprinted on him! There won't ever be anyone else, not ever."

"Does he know this?"

"Of course he does!" I yelled.

"Then why did he ask you to marry him?" Sam got up and clapped me on the shoulder. "Go speak to him, Jacob." Then he left.

I stood rooted to the spot for a few moments running my hands over my face and through my hair in frustration before a literal pull began to tug at my stomach and I realized that Sam had issued that last sentence as a command, as Alpha. I had to go and speak to Adam, he hadn't given me a choice in the matter. Bastard. I went inside and stripped my clothes off, finding a familiar piece of leather cord and tying my jeans to my leg.

I took a deep breath as I walked outside and phased, then began the run north.

Carrie had given me the address of where they were living and I'd memorized the routes there both by car and the easiest way to run there too. Carrie's sister's house was on the outskirts of town but even so, I made sure I kept out of sight until I got to the edge of the forest that bordered the house. I knew that I'd be able to get this far undetected, but it was the next bit that scared me.

I phased back and pulled my jeans on quickly, not wanting to be caught and the police get called because of a naked guy prowling through the fucking trees. Adam was sat outside the house on a summer lounge chair, layered up because of the cold I couldn't feel and sketching with a pot of charcoal resting on the chair next to him. He had bags under his eyes and his hands weren't as sure or steady as I'd seen them before. The house was big and solid and close to the edge of the forest so a lot of daylight was being blocked by the trees and what was left filtered through the green.

Stepping out from the tree line took courage but he didn't see me at first, still concentrating on the paper in font of him and the shapes he was smudging together. The next time he looked up he saw me, leaning against a tree and watching him and he gasped, not sure, I think, if he believed it was actually me.

"I missed you too much," I told him and he nodded.

"Me too." Neither of us made to move towards each other. We watched each other as long seconds ticked by, then he sighed and breaking the magic, closed his eyes and rubbed them, putting his sketch pad down on the grass next to him.

Adam stood up and turned to go back into the house, my heart was beating so hard in my chest I thought I would actually have a heart attack and die.

"Adam," I called out to him. He stopped and I took the opportunity to run up to him and slipped my hand into his. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

I tugged his hand and lead him back to the lounge chair and he settled back into it, opening his arms to welcome me into them. I crawled into his lap and into a ball, tucking my head under his chin and clutching his sweater with both hands. His arms wrapped around me and held me tight while we both offered silent prayers of thanks for each other.

-x-X-x-

"What time does Carrie get home?"

"About six. We're okay for now."

"Good." Pause. "I spoke to Sam.

"Oh. What did you say?"

"Adam, I need to explain," I fidgeted and changed our position so he was sat on my lap, leaning back into the other corner of the chair so we could face each other. "I've been on the internet, researching same- sex marriage. In this state, it doesn't exist. We're not allowed to be together, not even in a civil partnership which isn't a marriage. It's so fucking wrong, and according to the law we can't be married. So it's not that I don't want to be."

"It's not about a legal marriage Jake," he said softly, unconsciously echoing Sam's words to me earlier. "It's something that we do for each other to make this real. To show the people we love what we have here, how important it is to us. I know there's not a legal ceremony, but so what?"

"What would you want?" I reached up and stroked his hair back off his face, needing to touch him and make him real to me again.

"I spoke to Emily about it, actually," he said softly looking embarrassed.

"It's okay," I assured him. "I want to know. I don't even know where we would start."

"We can change our names by deed poll which is practically the same thing as changing it by marriage anyway," he said and I nodded. I definitely wanted to take his name. "And I thought we could get Sam to do a traditional Quileute marriage ceremony for us. It would normally be done by the Chief, but because Billy is your Dad it changes the rules."

"Go on," I told him.

"That's it, really," he said. "I don't know about rings, I think they would attract too much attention. But I want the black hawk tattoo."

"Yeah, so do I," I told him and poked him in the ribs. "I changed your mind."

"About what?" he laughed.

"More tattoos."

"Yeah, I suppose you did. It's for a good reason, though." He shuddered a little bit and I drew him closer to me.

"Cold?" I whispered.

"Not any more. God, Jake, you're so warm."

"It comes in handy at times like these," I agreed. We were quiet then, enjoying being wrapped around each other. Adam tucked his head under my chin and I ran my fingers through his hair in the slow, rhythmical pattern that he liked and usually sent him to sleep.

I brushed my lips gently over his earlobe, taking one of his earrings in between my teeth and tugging on it then kissing the spot behind his ear until I heard his sigh. "We both need to be eighteen before we can change our names," he said, sounding sleepy.

"I know, but that's not long now," I assured him. "I think we should do it before we leave for college."

"Okay," he agreed easily. "Thank you, Jake,"

"For what?"

"Agreeing to this."

I pulled him up so we were face to face. "I'm not doing this because I feel like I should, Adam," the words came out sharper than I had intended. "I know we're too young for this, I know it's too early in our relationship to be talking about this, but it's my future. You're everything to me, Adam, literally my whole life. I'll be with you, forever."

He rubbed his nose against mine. "You don't have to tell me yes tonight, or tomorrow, or for years if you're not ready. But knowing that one day you want this is enough. For now."

I nodded, knowing I'd told him enough already, and knowing I needed time before I could give him his yes. But I would, as soon as I figured out how.

Too soon it was time for us to break away from our lazy kisses and say goodbye before Carrie arrived and caught me there, bare chested and without a vehicle.

"Come back soon?" he begged against my chest and I nodded.

"I'm not going to leave it this long without seeing you again," I promised. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I want to tell my aunt about us," he said quietly. "Then we won't have to hide from them."

"That sounds good," I said, two forces at once pulling me away and pushing me closer to him. "I love you," I murmured quickly, insistent that his knew this.

"Love you too," he said and I took off, needing to move before I fell apart again.