DOUGIE POV

I feel so numb,angry,confused and heartbroken when Tom told me it was over ,at first I thought that it was a trick that he was playing on me ,to scare me and I honestly believed we could find a way to sort it out but he is very stubborn,he said it in such a cold and horrible way.I love him so much and wanted to help,I wanted to understand so I would be able to support him in the right way,to show that I am there no matter what,that we can through anything,it was just research,and I never signed up to anything,wasn't going to post anything and I trusted Tom more than I have ever trusted anyone before,he has twisted things,he isn't thinking clearly ,he just gave up on us without a second thought ,seeing him so soon after our breakup was really hard and hurtful,for the first time ever we actually used violence we're dangerous together now .I know nothing will happen between Harry and Tom but seeing that hug reminds me of the fact that I can't do that or any kind of affection,no more hugs,cuddles,intimacy and that really bites . If that is what he wants fine,he can have all the time and space that he so desires ,by the time he realizes he wants me back tough ,he can work for it stupid fool although he was mine and I believed we were ready to make it last but maybe we weren't meant to be ,its just going to take some time for me to get used to and I can't see us being friends ,at least not straight away,it's going to be weird not to see Tom anymore but that is the way that it must be.
I stare at the reflection in my mirror and absolutely hate it,no wonder he doesn't want to love me anymore ,so I go in the kitchen,open my fridge and come across quite a lot of alcohol,smiling I take all of them out one by one,its vodka,cider,bottles of wine my idea of heaven,my smile fades as I see the name of one of them though,that particular one was bought a couple of days ago,it was to celebrate me and Tom getting back together and I was planning on cooking for him.I grab a wine glass from the cabinet and was about to unscrew the lid when my door bell rung.I frown as I make my way there ,slowly unlocking it "May I come in?"inquires Tom,of all the bloody people!I stare at him for a few seconds "Why should I let YOU in,weren't you the one who said I should leave you alone?!"I coldly say
"I didn't want to come here but Fletch asked me to as I have some news that you need to know,it will only take a few minutes"
"Fine whatever"I mumble and he follows me to the lounge,I hope the news is he's moving away,last thing I need is to see him everywhere I go
"What's with all the alcohol?"he starts off by saying,cheeky git he is he has no rights to lecture me he harms himself constantly and shuts everyone away especially me,he twists things ,doesn't understand why he needs the help.
"That's none of your business"
"Dougs you shouldn't use alcohol as a means to deal with our breakup,I still care about you and I want to help you"
"ARE YOU JOKING?"
"I don't"
"YOU HAVE SOME NERVE FLETCHER YOU WOULDN'T LET ME BE THERE FOR YOU AND YOU WANT TO HELP ME,FUCK OFF"
"I didn't mean to upset you"could have fooled me
"You've broken my heart into a thousand pieces and you said I had to leave you,wouldn't give me a proper chance to explain,I wasn't going to actually talk about your issues to anyone I just wanted to know if there was anything else I could do ,you said you would try but well I'd actually like to thank you ,we were damaged,I'm glad we're over and you have the bloody nerve to offer me help and just expect me to just accept that,are you trying to mess with my head?do you think its funny your giving me mixed vibes,things will never be the same ever again thanks to you",bit harsh but that needed saying.
"I'm sorry"
"SORRY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH"
"I'm just"
"I don't care about myself,I don't care about McFly and most of all I don't care about you"
"You don't mean that"
"Don't tell me how I feel"
"You will be pleased then to hear that McFly is taking a break,there's a press conference in three days starting at 9"
"Oh okay thanks for letting me know"
"That's seriously all you have to say,Mcfly really meant nothing to you"
"It used to"
"Right"
"I would like you to leave now"
"NO",This is my home and I want him to go to leave me rest,I sigh and walk over to the counter and pour myself a glass of wine much to Tom's dismay
"Why are you wanting to destroy yourself?"he cried out
"I could ask you the same question"
"That's not"but stopped when he realized my point
"Please go,you being here is just too much"
"I want to but I feel drawn to you"
"PLEASE GO"
"NO"
"I'LL CALL THE POLICE"
"LIKE HELL YOU WILL"
I start to grab hold of random objects throwing them at the wall ,at Tom "HEY WATCH IT"
"THEN MOVE OUT OF THE WAY THEN YOU STUPID GIT"
"OH SORRY FOR NOT CONSIDERING THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU WOULD START THROWING OBJECTS HEADING IN MY DIRECTION,YOUR SO BLOODY CHILDISH"
"YOUR ONE TO TALK,WHY WON'T YOU GO?"
"I still love you,I broke up with you because I was confused"
"I love you so much but we can't keep getting together,splitting up,its just not healthy ,there must be a reason why we couldn't make it work,everything just kept going wrong for us,maybe that was a sign that we weren't meant to be is all we seem to have and that is not going to be enough ,that has been proven.I hate that we can't be but that's the way it has to be"
Tom looked at me sadly and I could see the tears rolling down his cheeks so I pull him closer and put my arms around him "Right now you need to get better,your not strong enough for a relationship and neither am I,maybe we are meant to be ,and if we are we will find a way to make it work"
"It just hurts so much not to see you anyway how did we get to here?"
"Honestly I don't know"
"I never thought I would lose you"
"I didn't think that either"
"Can we kiss one last time and then I will go" this is probably a bad idea but right now I think we need to say goodbye and I will talk to Tom about it.I smile ,I place both my hands on either side of his face ,soon enough and his are around my waist our lips touch,and it feels different ,this kiss is more gentle,slower ,and we make our way to the sofa not stopping the kissing,this is something ,Tom lets his tongue lick my bottom lip which makes me moan,and then that's when the kiss becomes more intense ,he pulls me on his top and then I feel his hands go underneath my shirt ,I stop the kissing for a second "What's wrong?"he asks
"I really want this to go further but should we be doing that?"I gently say
"Think of it as a perfect way to say goodbye,no strings attached,just one more time ,we both need this but maybe we shouldn't tell anyone else about,they will see it as complicated but we have discussed this beforehand so its between us".I stand up and grab hold of Tom's hand and we our way to my bedroom,things won't get any more complicated ,we'll be fine ,its just one more fling and then we can part the door has been shut Tom pushes me onto the bed and the kissing continues,tom on top ,soon we are naked and the fun soon begins,I know that this is wrong but this is happening regardless of the consequences.

1 hour later

Tom and I quickly get dressed "That was yeah"Tom spoke quietly,I kiss him on the cheek
"I know"
"Are we going to be okay?"
"Someday"
Tom smiles at me showing that cute dimple he has "I look forward to that day Dougs and I guess we will see each other on Sunday"
"I guess"
"Thank you"
"For what?!"
"Agreeing for one last fling"
"Your welcome and just so you know me and you aren't really over,we will find a way back when the time is right"
"Promise"
"I promise with all my heart,I love you,always have always will"
"I will wait forever for you",we kiss passionately once more ,then I walk Tom to the door"Goodbye Dougie"he sadly says and walks away,goodbye tom I whisper locking the door.I slide done the door crying as my head goes into my hands,it really is goodbye now.I quickly scramble to my feet and dry my eyes out ,I finish off the first glass of wine then pour myself another and its quickly drunk ,another one is poured and another and another and another til the two bottles of that wine is finished off. I open up the vodka but I get the coke from the fridge as drinking it straight would be a very bad idea.

TOM POV

So I broke up with my Dougie the one for me ,my perfect guy and I regret it so much,that fight we had at the studio was a mistake,it was something I never thought would happen not with my soul mate,my best friend,my everything,I was so confused ,the situation was once more twisted by me as usual,only saw what I wanted because depression does a weird thing to you,that's one of the worst things that a person can the recording I had told Harry and Danny I needed some space to think and that I would see them back at the house,where the four of us had been living before things got complicated,I know lying to them both was probably the wrong and worst thing to do as they would say things that I wouldn't be able to handle because they would have been right and forced me to remain in the McFly house. I needed to see Dougie and so I used the band breakup as a excuse ,knowing he would want to know about the news,he is acting like he doesn't care but its a lie ,I know the real Dougie that's who I fell for and will always cherish more than anything else. I saw a lot of alcohol in the kitchen ,I just hope nothing bad happens but I can't help he isn't going to allow that,think a point is being made .I needed to say goodbye to my love but saying it just wouldn't have been rowed but of course that wasn't a surprise,its what we do,we can't be together right now but he said that one day if we're meant to be we will find a way back together and we will fight even harder to make it work and he is right we will and never make the same mistakes again. I've lost Dougie twice losing him another time is too unbearable to consider.
I suggested a kiss should happen for old times sake and that particular one felt a bit more special and for a moment it was stopped,Dougie was concerned that sleeping together would create more issues but I said that we both needed one another ,and suggested that we keep it to ourselves ,and it would be no strings attached,and he said yes ,that made me so much happier ,and I haven't been truly happy. Dougie always had this way of instantly making everything okay,but I got scared along the way ,pushed him away and I lost time I will see him is going to be the conference .I hate the fact that I have depression,that I have a eating disorder,I don't want that and I want Dougie back as my boyfriend.I want to show him how much he care and one way of doing is to do a different gesture every day ,I don't when I am going to start it,right now its soon and he might not appreciate it at this stage and I want to draw up some ideas first.
I walk into the McFly front door singing to myself and then I go into the lounge to find Danny and Harry there ,and I feel that they want to talk to me about something this is suspicious ,what could have occurred since we decided on the band split "Hi Tom"Danny starts
"Hi"I nervously say
"Please sit down"he instructs,so I sit down opposite them "What's going on?"
"We saw you"
"OKAY"making them jump a little
"Going to see Dougie",oh crap
"I want things to be civil towards us there is a chance we will bump into one another and also he needed to know about the press conference regarding McFly splitting,we needed to say goodbye"
"We understand that ,you didn't do anything stupid did you?"
"No of course not we just talked then I left"I couldn't tell them the truth
"Well good"
"Yes it is"
"There's something else too",I raised my eyebrow at this
"Oh geez"
"Tom your not well and well we have spoken to Fletch and we think that you could benefit from going to rehab ,after the press conference is over your getting taken,so you will need to pack some clothes and other stuff you will need and you need to move on from Dougie. Your guys were so bad for one another ,a bad match"Harry firmly spoke
"I will go into rehab to sort out my depression and my eating disorder but I just literally broke up with Dougie ,I can't just move on that weren't a bad couple we just weren't both ready to be together and someday we will get back together and we will find a way to make it work"
"How can you be sure that it will happen,we don't want you to build your hopes up"Danny explained
"Because he told me after we slept together"I snapped then I realized my mistake so instead of dealing with the hate I run out of the room and out of the house straight towards the back garden.
"TOM GET BACK HERE"Harry yells,I turn to face my friends
"No thanks ,I'm not listening to your criticisms"
"YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING STUPID,WHY WOULD YOU WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"
"It wasn't stupid ,i arrived there we talked,a kiss was suggested for old times sake and we thought sleeping together would be the perfect way to say goodbye,we both agreed and it has nothing to do with you anyway,it s been done and none of us regret it,nothing bad can come of this ,the conversation is over and please don't go bitching to Dougie"
"We just don't want to see either of you hurting ,we're worried about you",I understand but I have no regrets about what just happened
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure"
"When I was there he had started drinking alcohol can you go to check on him ,make sure he's okay"
"Can't you?"
"He won't listen to me especially after I refused help and he needs your support too,your supposed to be his friends too,please and if I go I know I won't be able to resist him and we need to be apart ,its not a lot to ask is it?!",I need to know he isn't going to let drinking get out of control and he needs supporting too,no one should be taking sides,that's not right and its not fair
Harry sighed and used his mobile to ring for a taxi "I will ,your right of course"he tells me,I smile and then go back inside ,I feel so much better now knowing that someone else is looking out for Dougie.

HARRY POV

Recording studio session felt awkward but the song that we did isn't going to be used ,I hope that someday Mcfly will reunite it meant a lot to me ,I don't know anything else and I need to chose another career but nothing has to be decided right at this second.I am so pleased that Tom is going to rehab,hopefully it should sort him out and he can be a better person because of it but there is something that has also displeased Dougie and Tom got together I'd hated it cos of the fact that I had fallen for Dougie and I still want to be with him, but nothing will ever be done about it because he doesn't feel the same,it would be wrong for me to push it and he was happy with tom,then they had to deal with some problems,they handled it badly and split up then they were together for a day,a bloody day and tom ended it,said he wanted nothing more to do with Dougie for a while,as he is not strong enough for a relationship at the moment which is fair enough so after the session today he said he has some errands to run but he Tom went to pay a visit to his ex and they slept together what the actual fuck do they really not care about the consequences of their actions,its not the best thing to do when trying to get over a breakup and I know they talked it through beforehand but that not make it right ,not in my book but they are the ones that will be living with the mistake ,I just hopes things get better before they get a lot worse.I probably need to mind my business but they are my friends and all I have ever done is to help but they won't see it that way.
Right well I have paid the taxi driver the money and walk up the steps and knock on the door,no answer that's a bit odd I can hear the television playing in the background ,I look into the window and see Dougie sprawled on the floor so I have to kick in the door.I rush into the lounge and kneel besides him,oh gross there is sick and blood around him,looks like he drank a bit too.I pick him up and place him onto the sofa "Dougs please wake up"no sound ,so I grab hold of my mobile "Hello",came the sound of a woman at the other end
"Yes I would like a ambulance please ,my friend has collapsed and isn't breathing"
"I'll send one out now then,stay with him"
"I will",then I ring Danny to inform him to meet me at the hospital and he will probably tell Tom but I don't think that will be the best idea its not going to do him any good he will still continue to harm himself even though he is going to get help that's not until Saturday which is three days from now maybe he shouldn't be at the conference ,I go into the bathroom grabbing a towel and I clean up the vomit and the blood .And I try to wake him up but its not working ,why has he done this?This isn't right at all ,when he comes round if he does I am not going to have a go ,I will be there for him and I will be keeping a closer eye on him,I squeeze his hand and to my relief I notice that his chest is rising up and down,he is going to be okay "H Harry"he cries
"Shh its going to be alright"
"So sorry I just threw up and started coughing up blood I was fine one minute before I didn't mean to"
"I know"and I start stroking his hair to soothe him
"Thank you for coming round"
"I rung for a ambulance for you ,I wanted to be on the safe side"
"Okay"
"You will probably need to spend the night in the hospital for observation",without warning he suddenly ran into the kitchen and threw up in the sink,I spot the half bottles of alcohol and pour those down the sink he can't get himself into this state again I am not prepared to lose him ,I can't imagine what life would be like.
"It hurts so much"Dougie tells me and starts crying breaking my heart
"It will get better in time"
"I hope so" and then the paramedics come through ,dougie puts his arm around the both of them and they take him into the ambulance putting him on a stretcher,I hold his hand to reassure that I am here and nothing is ever going to change that.