!Warning! This chapter contains explicit sexual content. If you are a child or you don't want to read about that, then do not read this chapter! I almost considered not writing in sexual content and just having this be a fluff piece, but ultimately decided it was necessary for my story. I might do more chapters like this with this sort of content if you guys like it, otherwise I won't bother if you guys don't like it. So leave a comment and let me know!
Sandor sat in the pub and downed his third cup of ale. It took a lot to get him drunk, so it had no effect on him, despite his wish that it would. Why had Sansa said those things? She couldn't have meant it when she said he was enough. It made no sense. If it were anybody else he would have thought she was being cruel, but the Sansa he knew was anything but that. But this Sansa wasn't the one he knew. He rubbed both hands over his face. Why had he even stayed here? He should have left with Beric, but he knew why he had stayed. Because she had asked. It had been years since he had seen her, but now, after being around her for a couple of weeks, he would do whatever she asked him. He never, in his entire life, had felt this way about another person. He would protect her at any cost to himself, even if they odds were stacked against him. He growled under his breath. He had become weak. There was reason he had never allowed himself to love someone before.
Sandor opened his eyes. "You don't love her you fucking idiot," he grumbled under his breath "you just want to fuck her."
Beric's words came back to him "You curse more when you're lying."
He sighed and slid back from the table. Drinking wasn't doing him any good. He might as well go to bed. He made his way out of Winter town and back to the castle. He wanted to be angry with Sansa. He had come to terms that he would never have a chance with her, but now she had dangled hope in front of him. He couldn't shake the idea that she would snatch it away as soon as he reached out for it. He shook his head. He would put a stop to it tonight. From now on he would speak to her only in formalities. If she tried to bring up silly ideas like she had earlier that day he would shut them down. He could deal with knowing he would never have her, but to have her and then lose her would be unbearable.
He made his way through the halls, but before he could reach his room the sound of footsteps made him turn. Podrick the squire was rushing towards him.
"Sir Clegane! There you are. I've been waiting for you to return for hours."
He considering telling him he wasn't a knight, but decided it wasn't worth it. "Why? What's wrong?"
"It's Lady Sansa. She has urgent business with you. She said it's very important."
Sandor frowned. What business could Sansa have with him that was so urgent?
"Where is she?"
"In her rooms."
He shook his head. He wouldn't be alone with her in her rooms anymore. "I'll see her in the morning."
"But Sir, she said it was extremely important and private. I offered to help her with whatever it was, but she said only you could do it."
This peaked his interest. "She's in room right now?"
"Yes." Podrick nodded eagerly.
Sandor sighed. Fine. Just once more. He made is way slowly to her room, trying to collect his thoughts. He would make it a short in and out encounter, and would not let the conversation be anything but business. He reached her door and knocked. There was a sound of scrabbling from inside, then her gentle voice spoke. "Come in."
He pushed the door open and stepped in, closing it behind him. When he turned to look at her, he froze. She was already in her sleeping gown. She stood beside the fire, with only a few other candles lit around the room. The fire danced off her red hair making it come alive. He looked away from her and cleared his throat.
"You asked to speak to me?"
"Yes, please sit." She motioned to the bed.
He tightened his jaw. "No, that's not a good idea. I'll stay standing."
She sighed. "Fine. Sandor, I wanted to talk to you about, well, it's just-"
"Spit it out girl, I haven't got all night," he growled.
Sansa took a deep breath and lifted her chin. "I know that you want me, Sandor."
Sandor turned to leave. He had just told himself he wouldn't listen to any more of her nonsense.
"Wait, please! Just hear me out."
He stopped with his hand on the door handle and closed his eyes. He shouldn't stay. It was a bad idea. But then, he had never been one for great ideas. He turned back to face her. She smiled before continuing.
"I know that you want me. I know that you've probably wanted me for a long time."
"And what do you want little bird?"
"I want the choice."
He narrowed his eyes. "The choice of what?"
"Of whatever I want. From the time I was thirteen years old I never had a choice. I didn't have a choice when Joffrey was beating me, I didn't have a choice when I married the imp, I didn't have the choice when Ramsey raped me and beat me. I want to choose what happens to me."
Sandor shook his head. What did this have to do with him. Did she want him to kill someone for her? "What is it that you want Sansa?" he repeated.
Sansa set her jaw. "I want you."
Sandor's mind worked slowly. "Want me to what?"
Sansa crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, obviously becoming annoyed at how long it was taking him to grasp her words. "Do you really need me to say it? I want you… to lay with me."
Sandor's breath left him in a huff. He couldn't have heard her right. Sansa would never say that to him. "You… want me too…"
"Yes, lay with me," she said impatiently. "In this bed, right now, clothes off."
As her words sunk in, he shook his head. "No."
Sansa looked shocked. "What? Why not?"
"Because you don't want me!" he snarled. He realized he was using his fury because he was afraid. He would push her away before he hurt her, or before she hurt him. But instead of backing away, she took several long strides towards him, her eyes full of anger.
"Stop telling me what I want! I'm sick of it! I'm telling you what I want, so just trust me! I've thought about it all day. I have a choice now in who I lay with and I want to lay with you!"
As his anger faded, he only felt confused. "But why? Why do you want me?"
She let out a laugh. "Is it really so hard for you to believe? You have always been kind to me, even if I couldn't tell it was kindness at the time. You've never hurt me, never lied to me, never made me feel like I was nothing. I know that you don't love me and that's fine, I'm not asking you too. I'm asking you to do what you've wanted to do for years."
He looked away from her. "Sansa, I can't."
"Why not?" she asked, a hint of desperation in her voice.
"I don't want to hurt you."
She walked forward so that she was only a few feet in front of him. "You won't hurt me."
It was the same words she had said so many years ago. "Not on purpose," he agreed. "But look at me. I would break you in half."
She shook her head. "I'm not so breakable. Not anymore. After what Ramsey did, I doubt anything you do could hurt me."
He closed his eyes, feeling his resolve crumble. "Sansa…"
He opened his eyes and looked at her face. She looked hurt. "Fine. Just go then. I was being stupid." She turned and walked back towards the fireplace. "I don't need you. I don't need anyone."
The last of his resistance fell away. He crossed the room quickly in only three steps and spun her around. She gasped, looking up at him in surprise, as though she hadn't expected him to really do it. Well it was too late for that now. He had never been one for kissing, but Gods he wanted to kiss her now. To feel her soft lips on his rough mouth. He lifted her so that she sat on the dresser and pressed his mouth to hers. She seemed shocked for only a moment, before she leaned in to it. He kept his hands tight on her hips, feeling the soft fabric in his fingers. She wrapped her hands around his head. He had pictured doing this so many times, but had never thought this would ever actually happen. Sansa started wiggling around, and it took a moment for him to realize what she was doing. She pulled his shirt over his head and threw it the floor. Well, it was only fair for him to do the same. He pulled her off the dresser and dragged her nightgown off before lifting her and dropping her back on the bed.
He froze, standing over her naked body. Her red hair fanned out around her, and her slim figure lay bare before him. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He wanted to just stand there and stare all night, but the tightness in his pants wouldn't allow him. He crawled on top of her, using his arms to support his body. He trailed his mouth slowly over her stomach, and felt her shiver beneath him, which only excited him more. He moved his eyes up to her face and saw that she had lifted her head to watch him. He smiled. He moved his mouth up to her breasts and slowly ran his tongue over her nipple. She let out a soft moan that made him dizzy. He needed to hear that again. His flicked his tongue quickly back and forth, her nipples stiffening and becoming hard in his mouth. He looked at her face again and saw that she was biting her lip and her eyes were closed.
He brought his hand down between her legs and found she was incredibly wet. He ran his finger up and down, and she cried out much louder this time.
"Oh my God," she whimpered.
He lifted his mouth from her and frowned. "Did I hurt you?"
She looked at him with what he could only describe as panic. "Don't stop you idiot!"
He smiled and brought his mouth back to her breasts. Whores never had this sort of reaction. Years of fucking had made them numb to sensations. He ran his fingers between her wet thighs a few more times before he was sure she was ready to move on. He then slowly slid two of his fingers inside of her. She was tight, but not as tight as she would have been were she a virgin. He was glad. A virgin could never take him. She inhaled sharply as he slid his fingers in, but didn't tell him to stop. He moved his fingers in and out for several minutes, until she had loosened. Her whole body shook beneath him.
"Oh God, Sandor," she whispered.
Just hearing her say his name like that could make him cum. He pulled his hand out of her and stood up. He began to unlace his pants. She lifted herself on her elbows and watched him. He paused, looking down at her again.
"Sansa, we don't have to do this."
He had never turned down sex before. He had fucked more women than he could count. But looking down at the most exquisite woman in the world, the thought that he didn't deserve this crept back into his mind. How could this be right? Beast's didn't lie with maidens.
"Sandor, it's a bit late for that isn't it?" she laughed.
"No, it's not. We can stop right now. Because once I start, I don't think I'll be able to stop."
"I don't want you to stop," she assured him.
"But what if I… what if I tarnish you."
She stared up at him quietly, seeming to consider his words. "And what if you heal me?"
"Why would the Gods let me have you?"
"The Gods don't do a damn thing. I'm not a prize to be given. I give myself to you. I won't make you do something you don't want to do, but…"
Sandor laughed. "Something I don't want to do? You're a strange thing little bird."
He continued standing with his hands on his laces. Sansa sat up and slid to the edge of the bed. She pushed his hands away gently and took the laces in her own. He watched her, his breathing heavy, as she pulled the laces free. She slid his pants and under clothing down all at once. His manhood sprang free. She stared at it quietly. Now that she had seen him, would she turn him away? She stood suddenly, turning him so that she could take his place. She pushed him down so that he was sitting on the bed. He breathed slowly, watching her in silence. She then placed each of her long legs on either side of him. He knew what was coming next, and both desire and fear raged within him for control. She wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Do you trust me?" she asked.
Not trusting himself to speak, he only nodded. She lowered herself until her lips pressed against the head of his manhood. He inhaled sharply. Slowly, she lowered herself further onto him. As he slid into her his whole body shook. Years of fantasizing hadn't prepared him for this. She began to move up and down more quickly, moving her hips as she did. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. His hands gripped the bed sheets on either side of him. Sansa pulled on his arms, making him hold her hips. He began to guide her, moving her fasted and pushing deeper. He chanced a glace and opened his eyes, and what he saw nearly made him cum right then and there. Her eyes were open, and she was watching him. She didn't close her eyes and pretend he was someone else like all the whores. She saw him.
He brought his mouth to hers and kissed her again. She responded eagerly. He fell back onto the bed as she continued to ride him. Her movements became quicker and more erratic, and he knew he couldn't hold on much longer. He had to stop her before he came inside her, but the wild beast that resided within him had taken over. It would be up to Sansa to get off in time.
"Oh Gods!" Sansa cried. "Oh, oh, oh."
"Sansa, hurry, get off!" he choked out.
Instead of doing as he said, she tightened her legs, threw her back, and came. Her whole body shook and convulsed, and she spasmed around his manhood. He had never given a woman an orgasm before, and the sudden tightening around his manhood made him lose it. Without thinking of his actions, he grabbed her hips and released himself inside her. He came several times, pumping into her. When he finished he let her go, and she fell onto the bed beside him. They laid there, breathing heavily, for several minutes. What had happened began to sink into Sandor's head. He had just fucked Sansa Stark. No, not fucked, that word didn't sound right. Made love? No, that couldn't be right either. He turned his head to look at her and saw she was smiling.
"Wow," she breathed. "I never knew sex could feel like that."
He looked back to the ceiling. "No, neither did I."