The four men stood by the door of the mess, clearly annoyed by the unending cold, engaged in a lively conversation. Leia smiled at the vision of those pilots. They were always seen together, having become a tight unit from the time they'd met.
Only Luke was missing, currently on another mission briefing with Narra, Rieekan and Cracken.
As she approached, the men turned to greet her with that usual mix of formal respect, and the more up close and personal way they treated her when it was only them. When she turned down any decor.
In the middle of so many people who looked at her to only see the Princess and the Rebel Leader, which felt good, to have a group of them that saw the person. People with whom she could just be Leia.
Sometimes she got so lost in her job, in the legacy entrusted to her by her parents that most people tended to forget she was only twenty!
But the men that served as the backbone of Rogue Squadron never did… mainly because they were all in their 20's too.
Sometimes she wondered if the higher ups of the Alliance were reminded, from time to time, that a great amount of sacrifice and responsibility was being demanded and expected from people who were, some of them, just barely adults…
Some of these men and women serving, had it been a time of peace, were supposed to be home. Some still studying, others just beginning a career, but none of them expected to selflessly offer their lives on a daily basis so that others may live and for the freedom of the galaxy…
She stood there for a while, chatting happily with them before excusing herself and turning to her cousin.
"Sorry guys, I really have to go." She smiled at them, exchanging hugs with the other three. "I'm stealing Tycho for a bit. I've got something for him."
"Do try to run away from all those reports more often," Wedge told her. "and try to bring my boyfriend with you! Force knows the Ranks are always hijacking him from me…"
Wes chuckled at the Corellian, which earned him a punch on his shoulder.
"Ouch!"
"Shut up, you deserved it." Wedge glared at him.
The Taanabian turned to Tycho and Hobbie looking for support, but both men threw their hands up.
"Some friends…" He muttered.
Leia pulled Tycho, laughing at Wes' theatrical pout. "Come on, or I'll get nothing done today…"
"See ya, guys." Tycho waved them, leaving with Leia but not before turning to share a quick glance with Wes, who was quickly pointing at him and mouthing what looked like 'tonight'.
Leia snorted, shaking her head at Tycho.
"What?" The pilot asked amused.
"I swear I don't understand the two of you…" Leia side-eyed her cousin with a slight shake of her head. "You're together… but you're not 'together'... Tell me again how that makes sense to you"
Tycho chuckled at Leia's obvious frustration. It wasn't the first time and it sure wasn't going to be the last that his cousin discussed the terms of his affair with Wes. "We're satisfied with what we have-"
"Oh, really?!" She interrupted him mockingly. "I could swear we've had a conversation about your lack of satisfaction deriving from Wes' unwillingness to…" She stopped, looking around her before leaning towards Tycho with a whisper. "...fuck you…"
Tycho put on his best impersonation of someone who was absolutely shocked. "Well now! Her Serene Highness, Princess Leia using vulgarities! Well, I'd never!"
"Oh, shut up you!"
"Don't be mad at me Leilei…" Tycho held her close, giving Leia a tender kiss on the forehead. "I told you, he thinks it's too soon yet."
"Sometimes I don't understand Wes' reasoning. One would think he'd want to drag you into bed as soon as possible!" She said.
"I'll take that as a compliment?! I think?!" Tycho raised an eyebrow with a tight smile. "Listen, Leia, we've discussed this before. It's my private life and I'll handle it as I please!"
"But what's the point?" She stopped short in front of him, her hand just hovering over her office's door lock. "It's a dead end where you're both just skirting around a kind of relationship. That's your plan? To close yourself and shun away anyone who aims to your heart?"
"Sounds like a good plan." Tycho squinted at her with a knowing smile, leaning to reach beyond her and open the door, signalling Leia in. "After all, you've been sticking to that same plan!"
Leia gaped at her cousin, turning to enter the chamber and locking the door after Tycho's passage.
"What?" She crossed her arms facing him."Where do you get off with that?"
"Two words Leilei: Han Solo!" He smiled triumphantly.
Leia pointed at him with a stern look and opened her mouth as to counter his words, but closed it again, pressing her lips and circling her desk to sit on the chair always throwing Tycho a displeased gaze. But still, she remained silent.
"Nothing to say? The Sand Kitten got your tongue?"
"I don't know what you mean…"
Tycho stopped mid-way sitting down to peer at her.
"Of course you don't…" He drawled. "We'll do like this: I don't bother you about your 'absolutely not fawning over Solo' and you'll stop obsessing over why I and Wes don't start whispering 'I love you' to each other and schedule a wedding date already."
"I wasn't...ugh… alright, I'll stop!" She swore, throwing her hands up, on surrender. There was no arguing with Tycho. Ever since they were kids, he'd always been headstrong. He would insist and not drop the subject, winning by exhaustion of the other person. "But if you guys ever do become official, I wanna know about it!"
Tycho smiled at her. "That I can promise you."
Leia looked at him sideways as she opened a drawer, retrieving a wooden box and placing it in front of Tycho.
"And that is..?"
"Ithorian brandy." She said, opening the box and taking out a green ceramic bottle. "It was supposed to be for your lifeday…"
"You're only half a year off." He joked.
"Yeah… there was a bit of a hiccup with the mission on which this was acquired, causing our friend to go underground for a while." Leia rested her chin on her hands. "Anyway, it's finally here! With compliments of our dear 'Targeter'."
Tycho expression lit up with a wide smile. "'Win'! I haven't seen her since I went to Prefsbelt!"
"I'm sure she missed you too." Leia handed him the box with bottle carefully stored back inside.
"We used to be quite a team, growing up…" Tycho reminisced. "Better times; Careless ones."
"We were just kids, back then. Fairly unspoiled by the war." Leia agreed, nodding. "I miss those days…"
"Me too but, you know… I didn't feel quite, how can I explain it? Complete? No, that's not the right word." Tycho brushed his fingers lightly on the dark wood of the box. "It's complicated, you know? I loved my childhood, my family, my friends. But it didn't feel right! It didn't feel… Me!"
"I know what you mean."
"Anyway," Tycho shook his head, chuckling to himself. "Is she In-System?" He inquired.
"No. She's on another mission somewhere. Not even I know where. It's all 'need-to-know'..."
"... And only Cracken needs to know!" Tycho finished, amused. "Well, when you talk to her, tell her I said 'hi'."
"I will," Leia promised him. "Now, get out of here and let me work!" She admonished him playfully, getting up to walk him to the door. She reached his cheek to kiss him, throwing him an amused look. "Go bother someone else, like your X-Wing mechanics, or your squadmates. Better yet, go make-out with your lovely Wes!"
"I like the way you think. Maybe I'll do that!" Tycho winked at her. "Since it's his 'night-off' but he's not scheduled for duty, I might just drag him to my quarters and convince him to stay the night…" He gave Leia a lopsided grin. "That way I sleep all cosy and warm, and I don't share him with the other three!"
Leia laughed, remembering when they'd arrived on Hoth and suddenly every Taanabian on the base became highly sought after when the rest discovered they had a higher internal temperature than the usual baseline humans.
And Tycho hadn't been the least amused by it, though he tried not to show it to the others since they were still going secret with their affair.
Luckily for him, the personnel settled on groups of five and six people in each quarters, binding two beds together to have more sleeping space. They were still assigned rooms for two, which facilitated the need for private moments.
Her cousin's levels of stress had significantly lowered after becoming obvious his 'quarters group' was limited to Luke, Wedge, Hobbie and Wes.
Since Luke and Wedge were openly a couple and Hobbie had no interest in males, he didn't have to worry about fending off unwanted attention on the Taanabian…
"Go then." She smiled at him. "The boys are surely waiting for you on the RecRoom. And don't forget to come by my office before you leave for Taanab."
"I thought you'd like to bid us farewell when we do leave?"
"I'll try, but I have a meeting with Mon Mothma scheduled for that day too…" She said, looking pensive going through her schedules on the datapad. "I'll try to escape for a while."
Tycho got up, going for the door when Leia called for him.
"Tych?"
"Yes?"
"You're going to meet his family!" She reminded him, offering him a mischievous smile.
"So?" He said, unperturbed.
"That doesn't worry you in the least?"
"No, Leia. It doesn't." He assured her, walking out and waving his cousin goodbye.
Leia watched as he closed the door. "It should, Tych…" She thought to herself. "After all, you're the one carrying Wes' medallion around your neck!"
Wes and his extreme sense of honor…
Not even with Tycho with them, did he consider his oath kept. He would never claim that family heirloom back since what he had promised the Celchus was to take Tycho back to Alderaan and to their home…
But Alderaan was no more, and Tycho was the last member of both the Celchu and the Mandirly family. There was no way Wes could fulfil his oath and he knew that!
And now he'd have to go back to the Janson Farm and explain to his mother why he'd given away his great grandfather's medallion…
Tycho had no idea of the potential mess he going to be thrown into!
On the RecRoom, the rest of the Rogues were huddled on a table, playing Sabacc and indulging on lum and caf. The guys were picking on Wes about his return to his homeworld and his family's home. The Taanabian had an ear-to-ear smile, ever since they were told of their next mission.
The weight of those six years away from Taanab was obvious in his jittery mood, Wedge pondered.
Being raised on a refuelling depot, Wedge had come across and met many different people from across the galaxy, but Taanabians were scarce. From the few he'd talked to, he'd learned that theirs, were the kind of people that preferred to remain in their world, rather than roam around the galaxy. After getting acquainted with Wes, he'd learn that a Taanabian living outside Taanab was something quite rare.
Six years must have seemed like an eternity to Wes… and it was showing.
"I was checking the timetable for our mission," Luke turned to Wes." and according to the cultural info on Taanab, we're going to coincide with something called 'the night of Ithylia', and I'm sure I've heard you talk about her."
Wes snorted, holding his lum mid-way. "Her?" He rolled his eyes. "You're talking about the goddess patron of my Heritage and my Clan, Boss…"
Luke grinned, making a half bow. "My apologies… Didn't mean to sound disrespectful." He picked up his own lum, taking a swig. "For a five-year-old reprobate, you are quite the religious guy!"
"Seven!" Wes corrected. "And I'm sorry if I like to balance my faith and my sense of humor…"
"So, that's what you call it!" Hobbie chimed in.
"What? Faith?" Wes him.
The Ralltiirian gave his friend a grin. " Sense of humor."
Wedge and Luke laughed while Wes threw a murderous look at Hobbie.
"Funny guy…" He retorted, getting his fingers on his lum and splashing some drops on Hobbie's face. "Leave comedy to me. It's not your best feature anyway…"
Luke, watching Hobbie go for his own lum, cleared his throat glaring at both pilots.
"If you so much as try to start another lum war, you're getting kitchen duty for two whole weeks!"
"Aye, aye, Commander!" Both men said, saluting Luke.
Wedge took both of their mugs, bringing them closer to his chest.
"I better confiscate those, just to be safe."
"Give me that!" Wes whined, retrieving his lum while Hobbie followed suit.
"So, what's 'the night of Ithylia' about?" Luke asked him.
Wes leaned back with an absent look like he was reminiscing. "Oh, it's the last night of the harvest celebrations. Everyone goes to Pendath, eat, drink, dance and celebrate in honor of Ithylia…" He sighed. "I didn't get to go six years ago. It was after escaping to Tierfon, which was a shame because we -" Wes suddenly froze, his breath caught in his throat as his eyes opened wide.
Wedge turned to him, alarmed by the sheer pain he'd caught in Wes' expression.
"Wes? What-" He never finished his sentence, as a clearly distraught Wes bolted out of his seat almost ran out of the RecRoom. Wedge got up intent on following him, but Luke stopped him short, shaking his head. He turned to Hobbie, who just shook his head looking as puzzled as Wedge felt. "I'm comming Tycho. Maybe he'll catch up with him and get him to explain what's going on."
"You do that." Luke held the Corellian's hand.
Wedge took his comm out and dialled Tycho's number. After two calling signals the Alderaanian's voice echoed on the other side. "Tych?"
"What's up, Wedge?" Tycho asked.
"Something really awkward just happened. We were all talking about going to Taanab and suddenly Wes just got up and walked out."
"What did Hobbie tell him?"
"Hey!" Hobbie complained.
Wedge glanced at him. "You can be a bit tactless sometimes, Hobbs…" He turned his attention back to the comm. "It wasn't Hobbie… not this time… We were just talking about the harvest celebrations on Taanab. Everything was fine! He was talking about having missed the celebrations six years ago when suddenly he gets up and takes off like he was being chased a demon from the ninth hell!"
"Sithspit!" Tycho bit off. "Don't worry. I'll find him. I think I know what's wrong…"
"You do that." Wedge said, dismissing his friend and turning off his commlink. He sat back down, running his fingers through his tousled dark hair. "I hope he's alright…"
The other two nodded with worry on their faces…
Tycho ran towards the one place he was sure he would find the Taanabian. There was a secluded niche in the hangars where he liked to go to be all alone with his thoughts, and Tycho was certain he'd find him there. He crossed the hangar, to the place beyond the maintenance level lift, until he saw the huge spare parts' cabinets. Behind them, was a small recess where two people could easily fit and remain sheltered from prying eyes.
He didn't enter the space. Rather he called for Wes, to make sure he was indeed there.
"Please leave…" A pained voice came from the darkness.
Tycho didn't move. He knew Wes could see his silhouette standing there.
"I forgot…" Wes sobbed weakly. "How could I forget?"
"We've been having some hellish schedules. We lose track of the days." Tycho told him with a calm voice.
"I should remember, don't you think?"
"And you did…"
A hand stretched out of the dark space and Tycho saw the tip of Wes' boot also appearing on the spot where light and dark met. He took the steps forward needed to take that hand, feeling himself being gently pulled downwards until he was sitting in Wes' warm lap.
He didn't say a word, He just rested his head on Wes' chest as the Taanabian allowed his pain to emerge, holding tightly to Tycho as he wept silently.
"Sometimes I wish I could just actually forget…" Wes' broken voice whispered in Tycho's ear.
The Alderaanian straightened himself taking Wes' face in his hands. Even in that poorly lit recess, he could distinguish the hurt in the other man's eyes. He brushed his tears away with his fingers, leaning towards him and resting his forehead on Wes'
"No, you don't." Tycho gently admonished him. "What are you talking about? Because today the memories hurt even more?" He brushed a strand of dark hair from Wes' eyes. "You would rather forget how much you loved Tyll to find some kind of solace? No, Wes. You can move on without feeling that you're betraying Tyll, you know? Yes, you momentarily forgot about your wedding anniversary. I understand. But that doesn't mean you loved him any less!"
Wes took a deep breath, wiping his eyes. "Than why do I feel like I failed him?"
"Wes… it's been four years. We're in the middle of a daily hell, where we just hope we'll come back from the next mission alive… and the next one.. and the next one…" Tycho closed his eyes, trying to find the right words. "We don't even perceive the passing of the weeks, much more what time of the year it is! And let's not forget that changes from planet to planet. But you know that! It wasn't that you forgot what day it was…"
"So I should just accept that I forgot the day I married the man I loved?"
"You should accept that we, common mortals, forget things depending on our levels of stress. Even things we thought we would never, ever forget!" Tycho answered. "Your real problem is that you seem to be caught up in the notion that he was The One… I fucking hate that view on love! We're fed this absurd notion of a soulmate of the greatest love of our lives… and what are we supposed to do when it all fails? People die, divorces and break-ups happen. And then what? Our capacity to love runs out? We grow cold and numb?"
Wes lowered his head, taking Tycho's hands on his. "That's how I feel sometimes…"
"Don't do that to yourself, Wes." The Alderaanian took the other man's hands to his lips, kissing them tenderly. "Tyll was the love of your life… of that part of your life! He's gone and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't bring him back any more than I can bring Nyiestra back. But he's still right here," He took a hand brushing his fingers through Wes' forehead. "In your memories," He lowered his hand to press it firmly against Wes' chest. "In your heart. He touched your life and changed you forever. You are who you are today because of him. And no one has the right to force you to forget him. This isn't a competition. There's no award for the biggest love story ever! You have the right to heal, move forward, live and eventually love again. Our capacity to love is infinite, Wes. And it doesn't mean you loved someone less or someone more. You just loved! That's it. Hell, what are we fighting for anyway?"
"Freedom and justice..?" Wes shyly added, letting out a ragged sigh.
"Love too, don't you think? You can have as much freedom and as much justice as you want. Without love, it's all for naught…" Tycho brushed his lips on Wes'. "And a date occasionally slipping your mind won't diminish you, nor the love you and Tyll shared. It was real, it was beautiful and it shaped you into the man standing here today. I'm absolutely sure he would be damned proud of you!" He added.
A soft hint of a chuckle escaped Wes' lips as he rose from the floor in time with Tycho. He pulled the blond pilot into his arms, holding him tight.
"You always have the right words to say, don't you?" He asked.
Tycho gazed into Wes' eyes, kissing him on the forehead. "Not really! Sometimes I'm full of crap!"
"No, you're not…" Wes smiled, taking Tycho's hand and leaving the hangar with him. "So, what now?"
"Now?" Tycho asked. "Like, right now? It's late, I'm cold, I'm tired. I was thinking: It's your 'night-off. Maybe you'd like to keep me company…"
"... And keep you warm…" Wes added with a knowing smile.
"That too," Tycho admitted. "I know you don't feel like making out anyway, so you could just...stay the night?"
Wes shook his head, with a bright wide smile finally appearing on his lips. Tycho could always do that to him, no matter how dark his moods got. "Sounds like a plan." He pulled the other man to him, taking his mouth into a deep almost desperate kiss.
It always felt like the sun breaking through cloud storms…
"Let's get out of here…" He said.
Both men walked through the corridors, hands entwined. Sometimes it hurt so bad, Wes thought the pain would kill him. Other times, a pair of blue eyes, soft blond hair, a serene smile and a melodious voice pulled him out of the darkness.
On those times, life regained purpose…
And sometimes. Just sometimes, he swore he could hear a voice from the past. A voice like honey, with a strong accent like waves rolling in. A voice telling him to always fly high and never fear…
"Thank you, Tyll… I'll always remember you. But it's time to move on, my love…"
"Race you to the quarters!" Wes announced, leaning forward to steal a quick kiss before taking off, with Tycho on his heels.
"You absolute buffoon!" Tycho giggled running after him.
Their laughter filled the corridors as they ran happily through them. They passed a door just before entering the hallway where the pilot's quarters were. Unknown to them, a dark-haired head peered out of said door. The woman smiled to herself watching the two men running and laughing.