a/n: sorry for the delay, the past few weeks have not gone as I planned! Please read and review, reviews make me happy. I really wanted to focus on Logan being a Dad in this chapter, because after all, not being involved is what caused him and Rory to split in the first place.
Chapter 10
"Ri, are you okay honey?" Rory looked at her daughter with concern, "I don't have to go if you want me to stay"
"You need to go" Riley shook her head, she was pale as a ghost and Rory could see that she was having trouble maintaining her footing.
"Logan" Rory sighed.
"It's okay" Logan assured her as he picked Riley up and kissed her temple, "We're going to be fine, it was just a rough morning" he stated, referring to the round of chemotherapy that Riley had undergone that morning.
"If you need anything" Rory looked at her daughter, "Or if you just want to talk, or you want me to come home, you just call"
"Ace" Logan looked at her, "We're okay, we're doing good, and you need to go work"
"I love you" she looked at Riley, "And you tell Christian that I will see him tomorrow"
"Bye mama"
"Bye baby"
xxxxxx
"So, Ri, what do you want for snack?" Logan looked at his daughter, taking a momentary break from staring at the contents of the fridge.
"Daddy" Riley whispered, "I want the lemon jello"
"Of course" Logan laughed as he grabbed the jello from the shelf, "How could I ever forget that you want the lemon jello"
"The other kinds are yucky" she stated simply as the phone began to ring.
"I'll be one second" Logan smiled as he handed her a ramekin full of jello as well as a spoon before grabbing the phone, "Logan Huntzberger" he answered, "Yes...the results are back?...Alright...yes I understand protocol is that we have to come in...Suzanne, you know I think you're the best nurse on the floor and Riley loves you so much...they are?...great, alright, well, I will see you in a couple of hours then, Riley just needs to eat and then I will have someone watch Christian while we come...thank you very much"
"Who that?" Riley asked, she was halfway through her jello by the time he got off the phone.
"That was the doctor" Logan explained, "You remember the tests we did a couple days ago?" she nodded, her focus remaining on the yellow goop in front of her, "Well, they are back, and the doctor wants to go over them with us. So I am going to call Uncle Finn, and see if he can come watch Christian, that way we can go see the doctor"
"Can't Christian come?"
"Honey this is serious" Logan sighed, he knew at her age, she couldn't really comprehend why some things were better without both kids there.
"He's my big brother" Riley still didn't look up from her jello, "He can protect me from all the scary monsters"
"Alright" Logan agreed, he knew the news was positive, the nurse had given him that much, but he didn't know exactly how good the news was, "If you want, Christian can come"
"Hey Daddy?"
"Hey Riley"
"Have you seen Mommy's princess dress?"
"Not yet, is it amazing"
"I picked it" Riley told him with a grin on her face, a grin that only a 4 year old could perfect.
"Well then it must be perfect" Logan told her as he kissed her forehead, "I love you"
"I love you too, silly" Riley laughed, "It's my birthday soon"
"Yes it is" Logan nodded, "Can I have a bite?" he opened his mouth as Riley put a tiny bit of jello on the spoon and directed it towards his mouth, "I think you're right, this is the best kind. Maybe we can have it at your birthday"
"Will I have hair for my birthday?" Riley asked, she had typically worn hats since she had started to lose her hair shortly into her treatments. The fact of the matter was that Riley was undergoing intense rounds of chemotherapy, and so her hair fell out quickly, but because she spent so much time in the hospital, surrounded by other kids with the same, or similar diseases, she never felt too out of place. In an effort of solidarity, Gigi had shaved her head as well, in an attempt not only to raise money for cancer research, but also to reassure her niece that she wasn't alone, and she wasn't different.
"I don't know" Logan told her honestly, "But maybe the doctor can give us an idea of that today"
"What if I get more sick?" Riley asked him quietly.
"Well, I don't think that will happen" he sighed, he hated when she got down on herself, he knew that even if she did not fully comprehend what cancer was, she did know that she felt sick, and that she was scared, and she knew that the grown ups around her were also scared, "But if it does, then we will fight, just like we have been"
"Tell me about my forever" Riley whispered, referring to the future that Logan and Rory would tell her about, on her worst days, to try to keep her positive.
"You are going to have the best forever" Logan smiled as he sat down on the barstool beside her, "Your forever is going to be full of chocolate covered strawberries" he told her because they were one of her favourite treats, "And you are going to be a dancer because we all know how much you love to dance, and you are going to have the prettiest pink tutu, and it will have sparkles all over it" she smiled and nodded as he told her, "And then you are going to go to school, and because you are so smart, you are going to be a doctor, or maybe the president, and one day you will meet someone who loves you so much, and he is going to make you a princess, because he will be your prince, and you will live happily ever after"
"What's the president?" Riley asked in regards to the new addition Logan had put in her forever story.
"The president gets to run the country, he makes all of the big decisions"
"Does he decide which jello flavours get to be made?"
"Oh yeah, all that important stuff, kiddo" Logan laughed, "Now, have you had enough to eat?"
"I had macaroni and then I had the jello"
"Did you have veggies?"
"It was the macaroni made of veggies, the special kind" Riley rolled her eyes.
"Alright then" Logan stood up, "Come on, I'm going to grab the sandwich in the fridge that Mom made for Christian, we will pick him up from soccer, and then we will go see your doctor, sound like a plan beautiful?"
"Plan!"
xxxxxx
Hey Ace, the doctor called, some test results are back, the nurse said they sound positive, going in now, will call you w/ an update. Love you
He texted her before he stepped out of his car.
"Alright baby girl" Logan lifted Riley out of her carseat, "Christian, come here and hold my hand please" he told his son as he heard the car door slam.
"Why do I have to hold your hand" Christian whined.
"Because your mother would never forgive me if anything happened to you, and I'm fairly certain I'm still your Dad, so I get to tell you what to do" Logan told him as he firmly grasped his son's hand while they made their way through the parking lot, "Once we're inside, you don't have to hold it"
"Ok"
"Daddy I'm tired" Riley told him, resting her head on his shoulder
"That's ok, if you want to a nap you can, or just rest your eyes for a little while. I can talk to the doctor" Logan assured her.
"You'r wiggling" Riley sighed, she was referring to his cellphone vibrating in his breast pocket.
"That's probably Mom" Logan told her as they approached the reception desk for the section of the hospital that was full of offices, the same place they had first been told that it was cancer. "Logan Huntzberger, my daughter, Riley, er...Lorelai Huntzberger has an appointment"
"The doctor will be with you in a moment Mr. Huntzberger" the receptionist/nurse nodded.
"Alright, let's see what Mom wanted" Logan smiled as he sat Riley down in a chair and then sat down beside her, Christian took the other side of Riley and held her hand tightly.
Let me know how it goes. I knew I shouldn't have gone to New York, give the kids a kiss for me. I love you
"What did Mom want?" Christian asked as he peaked his head past Riley.
"She wanted me to give you a big sloppy kiss" Logan smirked, "But I figured you might be too cool for kisses from your Dad"
"Grosse!"
"Exactly" Logan laughed, "How about you Ri, are you too cool for kisses from Daddy?"
"No" Riley giggled, even though she was pale and gaunt, her smile could still light up a room.
"Alright then" Logan laughed as he kissed her forehead firmly, "I love you so much baby" he looked at her and then turned to Christian, "You too buddy, you guys...you are the best thing that Mom and I have ever done"
xxxxxx
"Logan" the doctor smiled as he carried in Riley and Christian followed him in tow, "And how are the kids doing?"
"I'm tired" Riley sighed as Logan sat her down on the chair.
"Mike, how are you?" Logan smiled, based on the amount of time they spent at the office, they were on a first name basis with the doctor.
"Did you make my sister better?" Christian crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at the doctor, trying his best to be menacing.
"Well, I'm going to talk to your Dad about that, if you have a seat" Mike told him as he took a seat in his own chair and opened a file, "We have some positive results"
"How positive?" Logan asked, noticing that Riley was completely enthralled with a colouring page that the doctor had on his desk.
"Well, Riley's white blood cell's are much better, it seems that the bone marrow transplant really may have done the trick, obviously these are preliminary tests, and are no definite indication of what is to come, but this is the outcome we were hoping for"
"So do we need to continue with treatments?" Logan could tell the doctor was hesitant to give to much hope, but Logan couldn't help but feel relief at the idea that there might be light at the end of this incredibly long tunnel.
"Well we do, I want to finish with this round of treatments, and then we will do further testing to see exactly where we are" he explained, "Obviously if the tests continue on a path like this, it is likely that we might be in remission"
"Does that mean I would be better for my birthday?" Riley asked without even looking up from her colouring.
"Not quite for your birthday" the doctor told her, "but you will be getting a break from treatments over your birthday because you will be all done for this round"
"Oh" Riley nodded.
"This is good, angel" Logan kissed her head, "This is really, really good"
"So, I just wanted to let you know about her white blood cell count, and that we are making positive progress, I know previously...the news hadn't been so positive"
"Thank you very much doctor" Logan shook his hand as he stood up, "So we should go guys, I think this means we can stay up late, and have ice cream for dinner"
"Ice cream for dinner!?" Christian grinned.
"Don't tell your Mom" Logan laughed as he picked up Riley, "Thank you, very much Mike"
"My pleasure" he smiled as he rubbed Riley's shoulder, "Hopefully this is almost done"
"Thank you"
xxxxx
"Alright, chocolate sauce, or butterscotch?" Logan asked as he pulled both containers out of the fridge.
"BOTH!" Riley grinned as she ate from the bowl of m&m's in front of her.
"Both?" Logan laughed as he turned to Christian.
"Just chocolate"
"You are so my son" Logan set them down on the counter, and turned to Riley, "Seriously, both kinds of sauce" she nodded, her grin growing by the second, "Well, no question that you've got Gilmore blood. Grandma Lorelai would be so proud"
"Why?" Riley looked at him incredulously as she grabbed the butterscotch and poured it all over her ice cream.
"Because she loves sweets" Logan explained as he took the bottle from her, "That is more than enough"
"You said I could have lots!" Riley protested.
"I said you could have lots, not that you could give yourself a cavity" Logan passed her the pecans, "You love pecans"
"I want more butterscotch!"
"Well you have enough, and you have enough chocolate, so pick your toppings and eat up, I have to go call Mom"
"Will you tell her I say hi?" Christian asked as he ate his sundae.
"Of course" Logan agreed, "But you two have to be quiet, because it is almost 9:00, and both of you should already be upstairs"
"Finnne" Christian groaned as he swirled his ice cream.
"Thanks guys" Logan smiled as he walked into the den, and dialed Rory's number.
"Hello?" she answered as she looked off of the balcony with her glass of wine.
"Hey Ace" Logan was smiling, she could tell he was smiling, "How is New York?"
"Good...polluted" Rory mused, "How was the appointment?"
"It was great" Logan told her, again she could tell that he was smiling even more, "Mike says her white blood cell counts are good, he says its progress, and that they think we can take a break after this round of chemo, which is awesome"
"So she's doing better? Even after the infections and everything?"
"She's doing better, Ace" Logan laughed, "It looks like we might have some good luck"
"She's such a trooper" Rory laughed, "She reminds me of my Mom"
"She reminds me of you" Logan countered quickly.
"No" Rory told him, "My mom fought for everything, and now Ri has fought for her life...that girl is a Lorelai Gilmore"
"The kids say hi"
"Tell them I love them" Rory yawned, "I love you, are the kids still up? It's late"
"I know" Logan conceded, "But I wanted them to celebrate"
"Alright, night Logan"
"Love you Ace"
"Did you say hi to Mommy from me?" Christian asked as Logan stepped back towards the kids.
"I did" Logan nodded as he took the empty bowls from in front of them and put them in the dishwasher, "And you know what Mom asked? Mom asked why on earth I let you two stay up"
Christian's eyes widened as Logan began to laugh, "Is she mad?"
"No" he shook his head, "She's not mad, but now that you two are all jacked up on sugar, I'm locking you in your rooms and you have to try to sleep"
"Daddy I'm sleepy" Riley sighed.
"Alright, come on" Logan lifted her up and kissed her head, "Come on Chris"
"I can put myself to bed"
"I know you can" Logan agreed, "But your old man likes doing it, and sometimes you just need to be okay with that"
"I'll do it, I promise to brush my teeth!"
"Ok" Logan surrendered, "But I'm coming in to say goodnight after your sister is in bed" he told him as he began walking towards the stairs, "Get going Christian"
"Why doesn't he want your help?" Riley asked as Christian ran past them to make it to the stairs.
"Well" Logan laughed, "Because as boys get bigger, they want their parents to help them less, and less with things. So Christian just wants to do things on his own"
"I'm never going to do that" Riley told him.
"Excellent" Logan laughed, "You're going to be my little princess forever?"
"Yes"
"We have a deal" Logan kissed her head as they got to the top of the stairs, "So, princess, your birthday is coming up, what do you think you want?"
"I want to have a princess party" Riley told him.
"Didn't you have a princess party last year?" Logan asked, receiving a nod in return, "Ok, so we want two princess parties?"
"I love princesses" Riley informed him as he set her down on the bed.
"Get your pajamas" Logan told her as she meandered over to her bedside table which housed all of her pajamas, "So what is at a princess party?"
"Ponies"
"Were there ponies last year?" Logan had missed the previous party because he and Rory weren't on speaking terms, he knew from photos that his parents had sent him that the party was princess themed, but he didn't quite remember any ponies. Ava shook her head in response to his question as she pulled on her Cinderella pajamas, "Alright, brush your teeth, and I will pick a couple of books to read, ok?"
"I don't want stories today" Riley told him as she went into her bathroom, "I'm just sleepy"
Logan let out a long sigh, he hated that treatment knocked her out like this, but on the flip side, they had received good news from the doctor. Sure he hadn't said remission, but it was progress, they were winning the battle, and if it left her a little bit exhausted at the end of the day, that was better than the opposite, "Alright" he called as he heard the water running, "I'm going to check on Christian, when I get back you better be in bed". He couldn't believe how quickly the kids were growing up, he couldn't believe how much he had missed, there was no need for work to have ever taken over his life the way it did.
"You in bed?" he asked as he cracked the door to Christian's room open.
"Yes" Christian told him as he saw Logan's head peak into the door, "I'm in bed, Dad"
"Alright, I love you buddy" Logan smiled as he thought back to when they had brought Christian back from the hospital, everything had been so different then. He and Rory had been so different.
"Alright, alright, be careful" Rory grinned as she looked down at her newborn baby boy, he was perfect.
"I am being careful" Logan told her, holding up the video camera to catch all of the moments that they were sharing.
"Alright Christian" Rory smiled as she brought him into the nursery, it was painted a soft blue, and had a sailing theme throughout, "This is your room Christian, it has lots of toys, and books, and a comfy crib, you're going to love it" she smiled as she set him in his crib. The infant took a moment to take in his surroundings, looking up at the ceiling, he was only 3 days old when he came home, but Rory could tell he was absorbing everything. He was a deep thinker, that much was clear.
"Ace, come here" Logan smiled from several paces behind her.
"He's home" Rory smiled as she embraced her husband.
"We have a son" Logan laughed as he kissed her gently, letting the camera drop to the floor.
"He's perfect" Rory told him.
"I know" Logan agreed. "Do you think the paint in here is too bright?"
"No" Rory shook her head, still leaning against Logan while she stared at her son, "This" she looked from Christian to Logan, "This is what I want life to be like forever"
Logan shook his head as he closed the door, he had ruined that promise of forever, even if it was only temporary, the perfect forever that Rory had so desperately wanted was out of the question, now all he could do was fix his mistakes.
"Alright Ri" Logan walked back into her room, surprised to find her already in bed and asleep, he walked to her bedside and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "Sweet dreams"