Chapter 10: Didn't See That Coming

Pietro woke up the next morning in an empty bed. His head hurt a bit, but he was pretty sure that would clear up soon enough. As he sat up, rubbing his eyes, he noticed the smell of food wafting in through the bedroom door. He got out of bed and pulled on a jacket over his bare chest before shuffling out into the rest of the suite. Clint was in the kitchen, making pancakes, and looked over when Pietro came in.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," he said brightly. "How're you feeling?"

"I've been worse," said Pietro, sitting at the table. "Look, I'm sorry about last night..."

Clint piled the pancakes onto two plates and brought them over to the table, setting one in front of Pietro and then sitting down across from him with the other.

"You don't have to apologize," he said. "But I would still like to know why you decided it was a good idea to get drunk on the exact same night I found the bomb."

"You found the bomb?" said Pietro, pouring a little too much syrup onto his pancakes.

"Yeah, it's in the basement, but I couldn't report the damn thing to Cap 'cause you were off getting hammered and I had to save your ass. Luckily, it's not set to go off 'til tonight so we got time."

"Sorry..."

"Kid, I told you, don't don't have to apologize," said Clint through a mouthful of pancakes. "All I ask is that you explain yourself."

Pietro sighed, taking an unnecessarily large bite of food to stall just a little while longer.

"If I tell you the truth... well... I'm afraid of what you'll think of me," he said.

"Pietro, if it's because you've got some sort of issues... like, if you're an alcoholic or something... I'm not gonna think any less of you," said Clint. "You're my friend, I care about you. If that's the case, I just wanna help."

"I almost wish that was what it was, it would be much easier to explain..."

"Then what is the truth? I just wanna help you."

"This mission... it hasn't been easy for me," said Pietro slowly. "And not because it's my first undercover mission like I keep telling you. It's been difficult because... and this is gonna sound way worse than it is, but I don't know how else to say it... it's been difficult because of you."

Clint looked even more hurt and confused than Pietro expected.

"It's not because I don't like working with you, or that I don't like you," he continued. "It's completely the opposite. It's that I like you too much, and–"

"What, you're worried us pretending to be lovers will ruin our friendship?" Clint asked.

"No, I–"

Pietro groaned in frustration and buried his face in his hands.

"Pietro, I don't understand," said Clint.

"Pretending to be your boyfriend is hard for me because I wish it wasn't pretend," said Pietro. "Because I love you."

Clint stared at him.

"Really?" he said.

"Yes, really," said Pietro, tears in his eyes. "I wish I didn't, but I do. I love you, Clint."

"Pietro, I... I didn't think..."

"What, that all this meant so much more to me? That I actually wanted all of the things we've done this week, that I wanted it to be real?"

"No, that's not what I meant... I just... I didn't realize..."

"Oh God, I've ruined everything..." Pietro groaned.

"No, you didn't," said Clint. "You've made everything perfect. A lot more complicated, sure, but perfect."

"What are you talking about?"

"I love you too, Pietro."

Now it was Pietro's turn to stare. This had to be some cruel joke. Or a dream. Or... something.

"What?"

"I love you," said Clint.

"But..." Pietro protested.

"I love you, Pietro. I've wanted to say it so many times. I love you," said Clint.

"Well, it's about damn time."

Clint and Pietro stared at each other, then turned in the direction of the new voice. Tony Stark was smirking at them from the screen of the open laptop, surrounded by the rest of the Avengers.

"How long have you been watching?" Pietro asked tentatively.

"Long enough," said Tony.

"And what exactly did you mean, 'it's about time'?" said Clint.

"What he meant was that you two are the biggest pair of oblivious idiots to walk the earth," Sam said.

"Why do you think I assigned you two for this mission?" Steve asked.

"Because you needed someone to pose as a gay couple to catch a terrorist?" said Pietro.

"But I could've asked anyone on the team to do that. Hell, I could've done that," said Steve.

"Didn't it ever cross your minds that your covers seemed a little bit off, like maybe you'd have been more useful posing as hotel staff or something?" Natasha asked.

"It did once, but then I figured Steve knew what he was doing so I didn't question it," Clint admitted.

"Well, I did know what I was doing, but it wasn't trying to catch a terrorist," said Steve.

"What?" Pietro and Clint said in unison.

"This whole mission was a setup," said Tony. "Trying to get you two blockheads to stop pining hopelessly."

"I wasn't pining," Clint protested.

"Yes you were," said Natasha.

"You guys are a lot more blockheaded than we expected though," said Sam. "I mean, we assumed you'd at least wait 'til you worked things out before getting it on, but okay..."

Pietro and Clint exchanged an alarmed look.

"How did you know about that?" said Pietro.

"We're connected, remember?" Wanda said.

"Oh God..."

"Um... exactly how much of what he's doing can you actually see...?" Clint asked nervously.

"I give him his privacy," said Wanda. "Trust me, I don't want to see any of that."

"This is embarrassing..." said Pietro.

"So, why are you even calling?" Clint asked, steering the conversation back to less awkward waters. "Is something up?"

"Well, we were gonna make some shit up for you two to follow around, but looks like we don't need to do that anymore. Mission accomplished!" said Tony.

"Wait, so there was no mission?" said Clint.

"Nope."

"But what about the bomb?" Pietro said.

"There isn't one," Steve replied.

"Yes, there is," said Clint. "I was watching the cams last night, I found it."

The others looked at each other, genuinely surprised.

"Send over the info," said Natasha.

Clint opened up a message and sent it all over.

"Shit..." Sam muttered. "Looks like you guys have got some work to do after all."

"Time to suit up, lovebirds," said Steve.

"I'll be on the comms to talk you through defusing the bomb once you get to it," said Tony. "Better get a move on."

"Wait," said Pietro suddenly. "Natasha... what about you?"

"What about me?" Natasha said.

"You and Clint..."

"You guys were at a Pride event, would it kill you to pick up a brochure?" said Natasha. "I've thought a lot about this, I promise, but we're gonna have to talk about it later. You've got a bomber to stop, remember?"

"Right.."

"I love you, Nat," said Clint.

"I know. I love you too. Now go suit up," said Natasha.

"The comms are set up, I'll talk to you in a bit," said Tony.

"Good luck," Wanda said.

Then they hung up. Pietro and Clint looked at each other.

"Well, I guess we'd better get ready," said Pietro.

"Yeah... Jesus, I can't believe this whole thing was a setup," Clint said.

"And that the fake mission turned out to be a real one," said Pietro. "And another thing, how did they all know we were in love with each other and we didn't?"

"Because Sam was right. We're oblivious idiots."