Guest: If and when they meet Dany, it won't be for quite awhile, Right now Orin's journey is Westeros bound.

Dipsyy: Sorry to disappoint you hahaha, I'm sure Arianne feels the same way. Hopefully you aren't disappointed with the confrontation of Orin and Ashara.

Hail King Cerlon: Robb's will soon find his way into this story. And hopefully you liked Arianne's character, she'll be a recurring character in future chapters.

Chapter 9

The storm outside dampened the already somber mood Ashara was in as she sat by her window watching the rainfall. Thankfully they'd just gotten home before the storm and everyone in the party that accompanied her to Sunspear were safely back with their families.

She almost laughed at the prospect that the only think to be thankful for was that her people did not get wet from the long ride home. Her life truly was in shambles as she lowered her head in shame.

Orin had fled Sunspear and for three days she had not seen him. She didn't know where he'd gone or when he was coming back. The harder part was wondering if he was even still alive. Three days alone on the road without guards or help was dangerous, especially during war.

Once more she felt tears begin to form as she thought of her mistakes. Bound to this chamber, alone with no help, all she could do was drown in her sorrow and blame. It was no ones fault but her own, and now was the time she paid for it.

Her heart couldn't take much more pain, and the constant thought of her boy suffering because of her nearly shattered it beyond repair. She'd lost Arthur, she'd lost Brandon, she'd lost Ned, and now she was sure she'd lost the most important one of them all, her son.

A soft knock broke her trance as she raised her head and weakly addressed the person. She smiled sadly as Conin strode in quietly, and apologetic look on his face.

"Still no word?" Ashara asked.

Conin shook his head, hating the feeling of failure. "I'm so sorry My Lady."

"It's my fault," She answered truthfully. "I hid the truth from him. For so long I lied to him, that it almost began to feel like the truth. How wrong I was."

"He'll come back, I know he will."

Ashara tried her best to compose herself, but once more she started to cry. "I lost him Conin. I lost my only boy because I was afraid. What will I do now?"

Quickly hurrying to her side, Conin draped his arm around her, pressing a piece of cloth towards her to wipe away her tears. "You mustn't think like that. He'll forgive you, I know he will."

"I don't want his forgiveness," Ashara cried. "I just want to see him again."

Holding her close, Conin's face grew tight, swearing to every god he'd find Orin and return him to his mother. Whatever it took, he'd bring him home. He just needed a place to look.

Watching the countless men come and leave was an interesting thing to watch. Every so often a ship would dock, and on it men would disembark and go their separate ways. Soon after, some of the men would return, and newer one would replace the ones who stayed, and that ship would soon leave and never return.

Orin watched a dozen ships come and go, men alike, in the past day or so. All he kept doing was wondering what these faceless men would be doing. Where were they going? Were they pirates or merchants? Did they come to see their family or leave? Were they good men or bad?

I guess it didn't really matter Orin thought, as it was never that simple. The world wasn't so black and white anymore. Maybe these men had a secret that made it more complicated then just being a pirate or selling a spice.

It wasn't up to him to know, as all he could do was sit and wonder. Sit and wonder and find the courage to finally board the next ship and set himself on his way. The last ship had left an hour ago and he'd already booked passage and room on it, but decided against it at the last moment.

The captain probably didn't mind, seeing as how he kept the gold and the room was now empty. However the purse he carried his gold in was running low as he'd paid the last five captains and decided against going each time.

Perhaps the next time he'd just sneak onto the boat and deal with the problem afterwards. How hard could it be to fight off a pirate?

Sighing in defeat, Orin watched from a distance as the next ship approached.

"You didn't say goodbye," A voice called out from behind him. He didn't need to turn as he caught Conin ride by next to him. The two sat staring at the ship as it slowly approached. "Is that the one?"

"There all the same I imagine," Orin quietly said.

"I use to love sailing."

"I know."

Conin smiled, a memory passing through his head. "I remember you're first time on a boat…"

"I don't wish to hear anymore Conin," Orin quickly said, cutting the man off. He eyed the man he'd grown up respecting more then any other man and all he could feel was anger. "Why are you here?"

"You know why," Conin answered sternly.

"She lied to me," Orin's words felt foreign in his mouth. "You lied to me."

Not bothering to deny it, Conin nodded. "We did."

Orin smiled, turning back towards the ship that was now docking. "How'd you find me?"

"I must admit it wasn't easy," Conin remembered spending an entire day searching through each neighboring village and failing each time. "But then I realized that even in the hardest moments, you always try and do the right thing."

"You think running is the right thing?" He asked.

"You aren't running," Conin concluded, nodding at the ship. "These ships sail towards Oldtown. You're heading for the Kingsroad to travel north, aren't you?"

"Perhaps you should be the master of strategy," Orin said, a little impressed. He thought long and hard about his plan. "I don't know what my purpose is any longer, perhaps I never knew, but I can't stay in Starfall any longer. Not when my blood fights a war."

"One man won't change the outcome of a war Orin," Conin tried to reason with him.

Turning quickly, Orin eyed the knight with a dark look. "You'd have me sit away on the edge of the world while my family fights and dies in a war."

"Family?" Conin repeated. "Your family is in Starfall."

"I don't know who I am Conin," Orin admitted. "Sand, Dayne, Stark? I don't know which I belong too, maybe all of them, or maybe none. But I think I owe it to myself to figure it out. You're right, the Starks aren't my family, I didn't grow up with them and I never loved them. I never got to chance too."

"You expect Robb Stark to hand over his lands and titles to you on your word?" Orin felt the presence of the knight get closer before a hand rested on his shoulder. "The northerners won't follow you."

"I don't want them to follow me. I don't want their lands or to rule over their people, or any of it."

"Then what do you want?"

Sighing, Orin's features softened as he looked at Conin. "You know what's the most difficult thing Conin? Doing the right thing. Not just when it's easy, or when it's suits you best. It means doing it all the time, regardless of what it does to you. It sacrifices your strength, your comfort, your honor, and most of the time your life. But you do it because in the end, it's the right thing to do. I spent my life thinking if given the chance, I'd have it in me to do that. If I don't help them, what kind of person does that make me?"

Sitting in Starfall hoping for the war to end wasn't what Orin wanted. He knew Conin was right; he couldn't change the outcome of the war solely on him. Yet he hoped the knight could understand that avoiding it wasn't any better.

"And tell me Orin, this constant feeling of doing right by everyone, no matter the cost, is it telling you to abandon the only person who's truly ever been there for you?"

Smiling sadly, Orin turned to him. "Why do you think I've waited this whole time?"

Another day passed as Ashara say by her window watching the sunset. Once again the sun rose and fell and her son hadn't been home. If this constant pain was her punishment she didn't know how long she could hold out before she tossed herself into the sea.

Orin was the last thing she held dear and if he was gone, she didn't know why she'd bother staying. Perhaps in the next life she'd be with him and Arthur, maybe Brandon and Ned too. Her sins forgotten and she could just move on.

Her depression was starting to get the better of her and she hated that she was giving in so easily. She was stronger then this, she knew it.

Turning away from the window, Ashara glanced at her hands and the note rolled up neatly. She had hoped to find Orin home after he fled Sunspear and finally give it to him. She imagined it would help him cope better but she couldn't be certain. For almost two years she would re read the letter every night and each time would bring fresh tears to her eyes.

She slowly traced her finger along the broken Direwolf sigil, mesmerized by the sight. It seemed everyone important to her was a wolf.

"Mother."

Ashara's fingers stopped suddenly, her head lifting towards her door where he son stood. His face was dirty from the days away from home and he still wore the same clothes he had when she'd last seen him. She couldn't read his expression but the moment he took another step forward, Ashara ran towards him in happiness.

Reaching him in seconds, Ashara buried her face in his neck and held on for life. Her tears dripped all over him and her nails dug into his back but she didn't care, her boy was finally home.

"You're home," She cried, not having the courage to even look at him. "I'm so sorry."

She could feel his hands tentatively hug her back before he nudged her away slowly. Not wanting to be to far, Ashara hardly moved before she looked up to see her sons face. The disappointment and anger was obvious in his look and she remembered that it was her fault.

"You're angry," She whispered.

Brows furrowed, Orin nodded. "Of course I'm angry."

"I can explain…" She began before her son stormed past her towards the window.

Watching the light die in the sky, Orin turned on her in frustration. "How can you? You stole away my life. I have another family out there, who are bleeding in the dirt so that the people responsible for the murder of my uncle are brought to justice. I have an uncle…"

Ashara watched as her son collapsed into her chair in disbelief. So many things must have been going through his head and she couldn't help him.

"Ned Stark was my uncle," Orin whispered to himself, his hands shaking. Looking up with tears in his eyes, he looked at her. "Did he know?"

Ashara nodded, her words betraying her, as she couldn't speak.

"Of course he did," Orin mumbled, knowing it to be true. "Did he ever want…to know me?"

"He did," Ashara nodded. She took a delicate step closer to her son. "In this very room when you were only a year old. He wanted to take you away back to Winterfell and raise you. The north was yours by right, and he wanted you to have it."

"But he didn't," Orin summed up, looking around the bedroom chambers of his mother.

"I refused."

"Why?" Orin demanded.

Ashara's throat tightened. "Why? How can you possibly ask that? He would have taken you from me Orin. Forever. I lost everything in Robert's Rebellion do you honestly think I'd lose you too. You're my son, you belong with me."

"You had no right to keep that from me," Orin shouted. "Winterfell or not I deserved to know the truth. Do you really think it's the north I'm angry about? That I care who rules what? I grew up believing that you and I were the only family we had. It made me understand how important that was, and to now know that I have another. My grandfather murdered, uncle murdered, aunt murdered, 3 Stark children presumed dead, my…my father murdered."

Ashara cried as her son broke down in front of her. She wanted to take away all the pain but how? How could you possibly make someone feel better after their life is destroyed?

"You had no right to keep this from me," Orin said, his anger rising with each breath he took. "I deserved the truth and all this time you lied to me!"

Ashara nodded, feeling ashamed. "I wanted to protect you…"

"I've been here for years training to defend my family and all the while they've been losing their lives. How can I live with that?"

"What good is following them to the grave?" She argued.

"Better then ignoring them all together," Orin whispered, finally looking at her. "You lied to me, and I don't know how to get past it."

Ashara gripped the letter still in her hands, knowing it was the first step into Orin accepting the reality of the situation. "This is for you."

Orin eyed the letter from her before looking up. "What is it?"

Without a word, she passed it to him and watched as he slowly read it. She didn't need to bother and read along, she'd memorized it after so long.

Orin Stark,

If the time comes where this letter should come into your hands, then you now know the truth. It grieves me that these words aren't coming from me, and rightfully so you deserve them to be, but I cannot give you what you want. What I can give you is the notion of stopping any doubt as to if I ever cared. I never got the chance to know you, and by no means is that your mother's fault. She loves you, make no mistake, and any wrongdoing is my fault alone. I should have sought you out sooner and then maybe you wouldn't be reading this to know that I loved you, just like your father Brandon would have. Whatever you decide to do, please know that you are a Stark. You still have a family north if you ever need console, and a home that is rightfully yours. You won't find any joy in the truth, but you once asked me how I cope with it. Perhaps it's time you found out how you do to.

Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North

Ashara watched her son read the note once more before passing it to her. She could see tears in his eyes. "We could have saved him."

"He was gone before I got this," Ashara admitted.

"And you just decided to keep this from me?"

Ashara nodded, not bothering to fight him. Ned's death had changed things. Had he survived, she would have liked to think that she would have been strong enough to tell Orin the truth. With Ned being in the capital, Orin would be that much closer. Maybe they could have spent some time together in the coming years. That stupid dream of hers was shattered the day Ned lost his head.

"I didn't want to lose you."

Orin smiled through his tears. "I suppose there's nothing left to say then."

"I suppose not," Ashara agreed. Her curiosity got the best of her as she'd wondered something ever since he walked in. "How come you came back?"

"To say goodbye," Orin spoke truthfully. A pain in her heart rose as she thought of the notion. "Now I don't know what to do? I just feel lost."

Once more she was faced with a life altering decision. She knew what she had to do but like before all she could think of was what was best for her and her son. Could she really break him once more like she had? Thinking about Ned's words and the dark path she'd already chosen, Ashara knew what had to be done.

"I know," She whispered, softly grabbing his hand. His eyes met hers as she continued. "It's time you met the rest of your family. For too long I was afraid of losing you and in the process I did so anyways. I will not have you suffering any longer by my doing. You ride for Riverrun."

"Riverrun?" Orin repeated.

"The King in the North Robb Stark is garrisoned there," Ashara explained. "It's time you met your cousin."

She could see his eyes harden at the prospect. It was easy to say something, but harder to do. If and when Orin would have gone she did not know, but now he would, and with her help.

Orin nodded. "I'll leave tomorrow."

"We'll leave tomorrow," Ashara corrected. She saw her sons walls come up but stopped him short. "Stay angry at me if you chose, but I am your mother and I decide my own fate. Dorne will have a part to play. Besides, I have someone I need to talk to if we hope to have any chance at winning this war."