Part 10: Eyes Within The Storm.
Within his private meditation chamber, Master Yoda breathed deeply, submersing himself in the Force. The ancient power surrounded him, as it surrounded others, penetrating every fibre of life that existed, binding the universe together. As usual he could feel the darkness which, had been clouding the light since the re-emergence of the Sith, steadily increasing its intensity as night conquered day. He dove beneath it, searching for a pocket of light in which, to anchor himself. A single candle could hold back the dark, just as the end of the night brought another day.
He could sense the light of other Jedi, communing with their ancient ally, their brightness breaching the dark, like shards of broken transparisteel. Pockets of evil remained, greedily seeking out vulnerable servants, beckoning them to answer, seducing them with false promises of reward for their deception. If he focused on that serpent like energy, he would become aware of its voice, and the voice in turn would become aware of him. Hungrily it would latch on to his vast potential, for potential it was, nine hundred years old he may be, but learned everything there is to learn about the Force, he had not! Envious of such potential, the dark side would yearn for him to harness all his negative emotions, and channel them into becoming a Sith.
Turn he would not. Others before him, tempted they had been, even fallen prey had some to the dark side. Learn too late they would that the darkness was never satisfied, that always craved more than any could give, it would. Were such souls lost forever, he wondered, remembering the hope within Obi-Wan that redemption was possible for those once lost who still lived; such as the man who had trained his late master, Count Dooku. Such generosity was typical of Master Kenobi, though Yoda knew that others often wondered that the reason he possessed such compassion was not due to his Jedi training but rather the concerns he held for his own Padawan.
Anakin Skywalker. For a moment Yoda let his senses stretch out to the signature of the boy who had become the hope of the Order, the prophesied Chosen One, as Qui-Gon had once proclaimed to the Council. Saw through Qui-Gon's motives that session he did, misguided as they were. Wished to redeem himself the Master did, for the failure in training Xanatos to resist dark side. Failed to realise that redemption he already had, in the form of another apprentice he foolishly chose to discard. More than capable, Obi-Wan was, a master few could hope to emulate.
Recalled for a moment he did the voice of Master Jinn, when he heard him cry out during Anakin's painful outburst on Tatooine. The loss of his mother, a profound effect had it upon the boy. Determined his future, perhaps? If so, grave consequences there were, for the Jedi and for the Republic. Yet he could not help but wonder if foreseen, such an outburst could have been. Uncertain they all were once, of training the boy, his future master included. Swayed their decision had been, by the re-emergence of the Sith. Too dangerous to leave the boy untrained, his colleagues on the Council had argued, it was. But in training him, also a danger there had been. Forced their hand was by Qui-Gon's stubbornness, his insistence that the being of prophesy, Anakin may be.
But lately, he had pondered, if misread, that prophesy was. The Chosen One was meant to bring balance, it said. Conceived by the midi-chlorians, it said. Yet such truths could be said of all Jedi, as they strove to balance their potential, their emotions, to serve the ancient being that gave them life. Genetics, bloodlines, determine their ability such things did not, only the Force and their character did. Yet so certain they had become of Anakin, despite Zonama Sekot, despite Tatooine. When had their uncertainty given way to blind faith, he knew not. Doubts Obi-Wan spoke of, not just of Anakin, but of himself and his ability to live up to the promise Qui-Gon demanded of him.
Questioned those doubts when spoken of they did, when perhaps learn to take heed they should. Concerns Obi-Wan perceived about the boy from the beginning, whether due to the rejection of the Council, or his own perceptions within the Force, he had not said. Change his mind he did, but only after Qui-Gon asked of him a final obligation. Willing to go against the ruling of the Council he had been, so determined to honour his promise. Become so certain, when did he, that the boy must be trained, or to prevent him from becoming the warrior that he faced down in the melting pit of Theed Palace had he wished?
It is possible, his compassion knows no bounds.
Yoda stilled as the voice he had not expected to ever hear again, spoke to him for a second time. Spoken once before it had, a cry of despair uttered, as a boy made a gruesome discovery, leading him to expel the rage of a thousand lifetimes. Uncertain of what quenched that rage, he still was, despite many meditations upon the matter. Surprised he should not be, not when the Force was his ally, but that was the emotion which, was foremost in his mind all the same.
Greetings, Master Jinn. Learned the path to immortality, have you?
Suddenly he was no longer alone in his meditation chamber. Across from him a blue figure materialised into being, upon one of the seats reserved for guests. His features were surrounded by a shimmering haze, but it was clear to whom they belonged.
Qui-Gon Jinn.
The Force was generous enough to instruct me, Master. Learning which I must pass on, among other things I have been charged with.
Yoda smiled as he observed the spirit acquire a sheepish expression. Repentance is one, yes? My forgiveness you do not need to seek. To others you must make your amends.
I know, the spirit of Qui-Gon murmured, bowing his head in shame. Obi-Wan most of all. I did him so much wrong.
Fear his response, do you? Yoda asked.
A bitter smile graced the face of the blue figure. Yes and no. He will say he has already forgiven me, and yet will not accept that I did him wrong. I gave him too much humility.
The Grand Master idly wondered if spirits could feel a sharp rap from a certain gimer stick. Probably not, unfortunately. Words of wisdom he must make do with. Past injuries, change you cannot. Adhere to your own adage you must. Or deliver the warning which, the Force has told you to.
Qui-Gon bowed his head in acceptance of the rebuke. The Force adores Obi-Wan, as you and I both know. And yet we have never cared to ask why.
Mysteries certain things should remain, Yoda mused. If known, arrogance in one's abilities, such discoveries can cause.
Like proclaiming to a nine year old boy and the Council at large that he is the Chosen One? Qui-Gon countered ruefully. Don't worry, Master. I have learned my lesson. The strike of your gimer stick is nothing next to a lecture from the Force on misreading prophesies.
Yoda raised an eyebrow at that, mildly wondering once more if spirits could feel the poking or rapping of such instruments. However time for 'I told you so' this was not. Easy to make such a mistake perhaps, when clouded by the dark side as everything is.
For the Force that is no excuse. Qui-Gon informed him. Too narrow our focus has become, encased by years of unflinching rigidity and tradition.
Changes to the Order we are making now, Master Jinn, Yoda revealed. Hope we must that too late it is not.
Qui-Gon shrugged, an almost imperceptible movement from his spirit. Timely for some, too late for others. But then the future is always in motion.
What of Anakin, Yoda inquired. Other insights about him, have you learned?
His visitor sighed, the posture of his spirit form slipping, as though a great burden had been placed about his shoulders. I made so many mistakes about him, Master. About him and with him, ones for which, the galaxy will suffer.
So quick to forget your own words of wisdom are you, Yoda admonished with a wave of his gimer stick, noting with some satisfaction that his old pupil could still flinch. In motion the future always is. Immutable, mistakes are not.
Qui-Gon shook his head. Some are, Master. There are some mistakes I have made which, will forever dominate his destiny.
Powerful words you speak, Yoda warned him, condemning words. Yet forget you do, that Anakin's choice is his to make. Decide alone his own destiny he will.
What if he is not allowed to do so, Master? Qui-Gon asked. Outside forces manipulate him, compel him to live up to an impossible standard. A standard I wilfully bestowed on him in my impassioned desire to have him trained. He bowed his head in shame once more. I thought I had learned not to repeat the mistakes I made with Xanatos. But I have learned nothing, for I failed Obi-Wan and Anakin just as much.
Yoda raised his gimer stick and pointed it at the spirit in threatening rebuke. Too quick to despair are you. No faith in your Padawans have you? A great Jedi Obi-Wan has proved himself to be.
But you can't deny I made mistakes with him, Qui-Gon persisted. That I failed him during the times when he needed me the most.
Think you are the first to fail your Padawan? Yoda shook his head, waving the gimer stick at his wayward colleague. Perfect no master of a Padawan ever is. Many mistakes they make, the Padawan too. Traits they pass on, stubbornness, recklessness. Defiance in the face of Council rulings.
A smirk graced Qui-Gon's face as he caught the tone behind the thought, implying that Master Yoda's opinion of those traits was not as harsh as he claimed. Despite his self- recrimination, he knew the Grand Master was right. Every member of the Council had at least one failed Padawan behind them. He was not the first to have one turn to the dark side, not by a long shot. Yet the guilt stung him, even now when he was one with the Force. His mistakes haunted him, he who had focused so much on the here and now, frequently reflected over the past, and contemplated possible alternatives. After ten years without his apprentice, he had at last learned the importance of realising the big picture.
There is more to the prophecy than any of us have realised, Master, he warned, words to which, Yoda merely raised his eyes. My interpretation wrongly believed that it hinged on finding the Chosen One, when I should have concentrated my focus on what would be needed to achieve the balance they and the Force so desperately seek.
Something between a hum and a huff of breath escaped Master Yoda's lips, indicating that the Grand Master was not happy with his pupil. Qui-Gon had expected such to be the case. He freely acknowledged that he was stubborn, that despite his Padawan's fervent belief, there were concepts which, contradicted the code he refused to embrace absolutely. It would surprise Obi-Wan to learn that most of tenets were established after he lost Xanatos to the dark side. None of the covenants had been breached until recently, when he became one with the Force, and learned that certain things he once trusted as certainties were mere illusions within the eyes of that ancient being who bound the universe together.
Balance, Master Yoda echoed the word admonishingly. Goal of all Jedi to achieve such that is. Strive for harmony everyday they do. When found it is unattainable, some times, much suffering they endure in striving to achieve it. Yet always achieve it, they do. It is the way of things. The way of the Force.
There are two sides to everything, Master, Qui-Gon continued, ignoring the admonishment for the moment. Even to the Force. Light and dark, each striving for balance, unable to exist in harmony with each other, without control, except in nature, as shadows do by the sun. Living, Unifying, only the latter is not an illusion. How can one focus on the now when it is gone as soon as one notices it? You have always said that the future is in motion, Master. I did not realise the full truth of your words until I became one with the Force.
Stubborn, always you have been, Yoda reminded him, shaking his head, yet there was a certain pride within his expression, proud that one of his most obdurate Padawans had finally unlearned what they had learned.
Better late than never, Master, Qui-Gon replied, smiling as the Grand Master chuckled in reply.
One of his fingers parted from the others, raised itself and motioned towards the door, the usual silent command of dismissal, causing Qui-Gon to frown.
But I haven't told you everything you need to know, he protested.
Know already I do, that which you wished to tell me, Yoda revealed. Said have you all that needed to be. Found the answers that were sought, I have. Another awaits your apologies.
As always, Qui-Gon knew he was right. Silently he rose from the soft furnishing to bow before the Grand Master, then dissipated into the Force.
Mace Windu surveyed the wreck of the training arena, the sight before him bearing an uncanny resemblance to a junk store after a sandstorm had hit it, a wry grin threatening to break out from under his stern facial facade. He had to admire Skywalker's reasoning. The boy had protested that he only tore the room apart so he could put it back together again. Which, he was in the process of doing so now, seated in the middle, the so called eye of the sandstorm, a training sphere in one hand, a hydrospanner in the other.
It was at times like these when Mace most admired Obi-Wan Kenobi. How the Soresu Master put up with this daily chaos was a miracle which only the Force could begin to comprehend. A stray memory pierced his mind; of that same master as a young Padawan, using Katas to work through his once unruly temper. Perhaps his friend coped because he knew and understood the need to vent one's frustrations.
But the recollection did nothing to ease his concerns about the Padawan before him. From the first moment he met Anakin Skywalker he could sense the conflict within the boy. The large fear hidden deep inside, untamed and uncontrolled, threatening to grow until it overwhelmed not just the youngling who carried it, but all of those around him.
He had been one of those who refused to allow him to be trained, believing that the harnessing of the incredible Force ability inside the young man would do nothing to negate the fear that was also present. The majority of the Council had overruled him, arguing that the boy had to be trained, for the power inside him was too strong to leave undisciplined forever.
For a time he allowed those arguments to convince him, despite Anakin's antics within and without the Temple, his tinkering with every droid he happened to come across, the swoop racing that Garen Muln and Obi-Wan continually retrieved him from, hoping no one on the Council would find out. Even when the latter began to express his own concerns about his Padawan, questioning his ability to train him, Mace denied the possibility that there was some truth to his concerns, reminding him of what his former master believed. And now, when the Master was all but converted, the doubts silenced, swept aside in the wake of the need to focus on larger matters, he and the Grand Master of the Order found themselves questioning the boy's future.
Obi-Wan had asked him to handle Anakin's training while he was on Pais, he had even suggested that he teach the young man some forms of Vaapad, his reasoning being that it might help Anakin gain a greater control on his more darker emotions by learning how to channel the dark side through his unique lightsaber form. But Mace had been reluctant to do so, fearing that once Anakin was allowed to let loose the darkness inside him, he might not be able to rein it in again. The boy did have a tendency to let his passions get the best of him, which, was very dangerous when it came to using Vaapad.
The form required the strongest discipline, allowing one to focus only on the energy they were channelling, the quantity of it, the flow of it, a rather detached technique which, differed utterly from the usual style of duelling. At the same time the form was rather intense, self-involved, allowing little room for other cares, carrying dangerous consequences if there was a sudden loss of focus. At times it was almost a constant fight against the darkness within oneself. You had to recognise that there was dark side to everything, accept it, channel it, then let it go. It was, Mace mused, the ultimate test of balance, and suddenly he realised that perhaps it was exactly what Anakin needed.
Crossing the threshold of the training salle now known as a sand storm wrecked junk store, the Korun master announced his presence to the Chosen One. "Good morning, Padawan Skywalker."
Startled, Anakin shot a quick glance at his chrono, realising that it was indeed the early hours of the morning, before he returned the greeting. "Good morning, Master Windu."
"Master Kenobi suggested you might like to learn Vaapad," Mace remarked, noticing that the boy's eyes sparkled at the word. "Is this correct?"
The young lad hesitated, glancing around at the chaos of the training salle, wondering what he had done to deserve this. "You aren't going to reprimand me about this mess?"
"After witnessing you following through with your explanation that you tore this room apart so you can put it back together again, any reprimand would be rendered moot," Mace replied. "Besides, this is merely another example that you need something with which, to channel your negative emotions."
Realising the Council Master was serious, Anakin made one final adjustment on the training sphere he had been fixing, and then with great care lay the machine aside, before rising to his feet. "I am here to learn, Master Windu."
"Then we'll begin." Mace motioned with his fingers and the remnants of destroyed training spheres, sabres, droids and other equipment which, had once made this sand storm wrecked junk store a training salle were swept aside to rest against a far wall by the command of the Force. Then he ignited his lightsaber, raising the purple vertical in salute to his new apprentice.
Who returned the gesture with a smile that bordered on sithly eagerness.
Only later, would the Korun Master realise the significance of that expression.
To be continued...