Chapter 10
Shizuru laid her head on my shoulder with her face nestled against my neck. Her warm breath contrasted with the chilly night air breezing past our bodies as we sat atop a grassy hill overlooking the carnival. Inhale and exhale - Shizuru's intoxicatingly hot breath warmed my icy body, sending another kind of chill through my bones. I closed my eyes and drew in the peaceful atmosphere as things around us started to quiet down. People were starting to go home as the carnival's loopy, yet addicting music, faded away. The blinding, colorful, lights were extinguished like candles in the winds as we sat together, staring dreamily down at the people which looked like ants from afar.
Shizuru intertwined her fingers between mine as we enjoyed the presence of one another in solace. Neither one of us felt the desire to head home, so we sat under the night sky to gaze at its grand darkness. Things were still and quiet as the last car departed from the carnival's parking lot, and we were finally completely alone. With the lights from the carnival now entirely gone, the stars came twinkling out by the thousands above our heads. Shizuru gazed up towards the sky and smiled widely, her eyes shining under the glow of the crescent moon hanging above us. Reminiscent of the night, we once shared under the same large sky, except we were different - changed for the better, with the help of each other. Shizuru turned her sights from the mysteriously vast sky towards me, with the same large smile on her face, and asked me in a whisper, "Are you happy, Natsuki?"
I hadn't responded right away - too surprised by the question, but deep in my heart I already knew the answer. I stared at her in calm silence and realized she was referring to how sad she'd seen me become when I shared the image of my mother to her. "Of course I am, Shizuru," I answered truthfully, thankful I had somebody as caring as Shizuru by my side. I gave her hand a squeeze and her hand trembled slightly from my affirmation.
She smiled, and laughed softly as she hugged my arm. I looked down at her happy face and wanted nothing more than to see her with the same expression forever. "I'm so glad," she whispered. "I had thought I lost you again when you became distant…," she paused. "So I thought a day out of the house would do us some good," Shizuru explained and lovingly squeezed her hand on my shoulder.
I thought back to when I hadn't talked to her after she questioned me about my mother, and felt guilty for subjecting my hurt onto her - the only person that truly cared about me. I took her chin into my hand to steady her, and kissed her gently. Our lips were cold from the night's dropping temperatures, but as our lips touched, they became warm. Shizuru closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, melting into the kiss. I held the small of her back and moved my lips to kiss her neck, tenderly and softly - massaging the soft flesh above her vein as it pulsated - alive and steady - in my mouth.
"Natsuki," Shizuru sighed and held onto me tighter. I felt her body shiver from my touch and I pressed her further into me - wanting to feel every inch of her body firmly placed against my own. Shizuru's breathing was becoming increasingly erratic and my body craved to touch, explore every inch of her lovely body.
I stopped grazing my teeth across her neck and pressed our foreheads together. Shizuru was panting softly, her eyes closed in yearning. I held her face in my hands and breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent that only Shizuru possessed - akin to flowers and soap. I felt dizzy and light-headed from her aroma, as if intoxicated from her very existence.
"I wish I could take your pain away," Shizuru whispered, and caressed my cheek as she looked at me with saddened eyes.
I knew what Shizuru meant. She felt it too - the pain I have always pushed deep down into me. The loneliness of being an orphan. How lost I've been before she came into my life. I smiled despite the sadness of self-pity starting to well up into my chest, and Shizuru appeared surprised at my expression. "What pain?" I asked her with a smile of pure joy on my lips. "With you by my side, there is no such thing as pain," I whispered in her ear, and then kissed her forehead. She whimpered like a child as she tried not to cry. Her arms curled tightly around my body in an embrace. "I truly love you, Shizuru. Thank you so much for being in my life."
"Natsuki," Shizuru's voice cracked. "Please, tell me this is not just a fantasy," Shizuru pleaded, to my surprise. I had never heard her sound like such a child.
"This is better," I answered her, and I felt her nails digging into my back, holding onto me so tightly as if I was just a figment of her imagination.
"I love you Natsuki," Shizuru said, "I love you and only you," she repeated earnestly as she placed kisses on my lips between words. "So there's no need to ever get jealous of anybody else," she added and I flinched.
"J-Jealous? Of who?" I asked, trying my best to hide my shame from how I acted earlier.
Shizuru nestled her body into my lap and said, "You know what I'm talking about, Natsuki. Reito, you saw how he looked at me, and that made you angry."
"I'm not jealous of him," I lied quickly, but Shizuru didn't seem the least bit convinced.
Shizuru leaned in closer to me with a glint of humor reflected in her eyes. "There's no need to lie Natsuki. I never said I didn't like that more aggressive and possessive Natsuki. It was such a turn-on," she forwardly said, as she kissed my jaw line. I felt her fingers trace along my collarbone and I tried not to moan from the teasing touches.
I sat completely still as Shizuru placed small kisses on my neck, not knowing what else to say. She was right, I had become jealous and acted out. I sighed, and hated how much of an emotional wreck I was when it came to love.
Shizuru started to slide her hand under my sweater and teased my stomach by scratching the skin lightly with her nails. I trembled and arched further into her.
"Did I touch upon a sensitive area?" Shizuru playfully teased, her voice dripping with desire. I shivered from sheer anticipation as I felt my legs quiver from the overwhelming emotion. Shizuru inched her hand further up just beneath my breasts and I felt her lips curl up into a smile as she continued to suck on my neck. I was becoming delirious with desire and I grabbed onto the back of Shizuru's head to tangle my hands through her thick hair.
My senses became increasingly muted as Shizuru continuously touched and kissed my skin - I was completely unaware of a shadow lurking in the bushes nearby. We were both lost in our own world and was unprepared for the blast directed at us, tearing us apart, and flinging us yards away from each other. The next thing I knew, I landed with a hard thud onto a patch of dirt. I laid motionless for a while, trying to process what just happened. A warm liquid started to drip down my face, and I pressed a hand to my head. There was a large cut above my eye - making it difficult for me to see properly. I struggled to open my eyes, but my vision blurred and whirred in a sickening vertigo.
"Sh-Shizuru," I groaned painfully, hoping to hear the sound of her voice, but there was no reply. Even if she had responded, it was next to impossible to hear anything over the loud ringing in my ears. I clasped a hand to my ears, and could barely feel with my fingers - they were numb from the blinding pain coursing through my arms. My limbs felt like jelly as I attempted to pick myself up, but it was useless. I panted in exhaustion and tried again. I had to find Shizuru - she might be seriously hurt… or worse. I tried not to think of such grim scenarios and dragged my body through the dirt with every effort I could muster. Shizuru, where was she? I repeated desperately over and over in my head.