A/N – Thanks for the comments! Hope you like the silliness. Next week, there is some drama.
Chapter 10
"You have two girlfriends?" Ronnie asked.
"Yup."
"And do they know about each other?"
"Yup."
Johnny's head tilted. "Are you with them at the same time?"
He grinned. "Sometimes…"
Jason's mouth drops open.
"You know he's talking about sex, right?" Ronnie said.
"Of course, fearless avenger of flames. Haven't you ever done that?"
"Once, but they were very drunk."
Jason cleared his throat. "How—uh—where did you meet them?"
"The beautiful Ellie I met at Mercy hospital. She works in the lab. Maxinista, I met at a bar."
"And they don't care that you're seeing both?" Jason asked.
"No, Stone Cold, because I treat them like goddesses and they like each other."
Johnny started laughing. The little geek has game.
"What's so funny Bodacious One?"
"Spinelli, you are my new hero."
Spin grinned. "Thanks!"
The dispatcher's voice filled the cab and directed them to a house. When they found out the nature of the call, they all looked at each other and then Francis took off.
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Elizabeth put away a file and then her attention went to the elevators. Monica and Alan strode towards her with a smile.
"Hello," Monica said cheerfully.
"Hi. You're not on the schedule, are you?"
"No, but I'm here for a consult and then we're going shopping."
She laughed at the terror stricken look on Alan's face.
Monica rolled her eyes. "You'll live."
"It might be touch and go."
"Can I have Mrs. Adamson's chart?"
"Sure."
Liz found it and handed it over.
"Thank you. Elizabeth, why don't you come over for dinner at 7:30?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. We'd love to get to know you more."
"Okay. I'll be there." She's curious too after Jason's stories about the family.
"See you later!"
She watched them walk away with a smile and then Epiphany cleared her throat.
"I see what you're doing."
Liz turned to face her. "What?"
"Kissing up to the parents is predictable."
Liz smirked. "Too bad you didn't think to try it."
"I don't need to kiss up to the Q's to keep Jason."
"Uh—Piph?"
"Yes?"
"You don't have Jason, I do."
Epiphany rolled her eyes. "I'm letting you borrow him, so don't be so smug."
Liz grinned. "Isn't that kiss wearing off again? Mine isn't…"
"Don't make me put you on bedpan duty."
Liz hurried to the hallway before Piph could say anything else.
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Johnny led the way into the house and then froze, making Jason almost run into the back of him.
A sniff is heard and their attention goes to a young woman.
"My parents are going to be home in an hour and we can't get his head out."
Sonny's head tilted as the little boy solemnly looked at him. His hair is beyond greasy and he looks miserable. "What did you try to use?"
"Crisco…"
Ronnie turned to hide his smile. The little boys head is wedged between the banisters of the staircase.
"She dared me."
"It's okay. We'll get you out."
Francis rubbed his hands together. "I'll go get the chainsaw."
Sonny glared at him when the little boy whimpered. "Uh, skip the chain."
When Francis almost pouted, Johnny grinned.
Spinelli moved forward. "Relax, little dude, you'll be out soon."
"You're a fireman?"
"Yup."
"But you're smaller than them."
Spin shrugged. "It's not always about size. Besides, my brain is bigger than theirs."
He smiled. "I'm smart too."
His sister rolled her eyes.
"Smarter than you…"
"And whose head is stuck?" she said sassily.
"And who dared me? Wait until mom finds out."
A woman rushes inside. "Oh my God!" she says before grabbing the little boy's cheeks. "Keifer, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, mom."
She eyed her daughter.
"Don't even say it. I'm grounded—going to my room."
She hurried upstairs leaving her mom aghast at how her son had even gotten stuck in the first place.
"Can you get him out?"
"Yes, Mrs. Bauer, but we'll have to use a saw," Sonny said.
"If you have no other choice, then do it."
Spinelli knelt. "So, how old are you?"
"I'm eleven."
"Cool."
"I'm just small for my age."
"You'll grow up and you can be whatever you want to be."
Keifer smiled. "Mom, I'm going to be like him when I grow up."
Her brow raised. "Really?"
"Yeah. I'm going to save people."
Spinelli chuckled. "Ask your mom and if you can come outside and see the truck when we're done."
His eyes lit up. "Really?" His attention went to his mother. "Please, mom! I won't stick my head in here again."
She fought a smile. "I guess it's okay—if it's not too much trouble."
"It's fine," Sonny said, glad that Spinelli had diffused the situation.
Francis moved into position and Spinelli got as close as he could. "Okay, little dude, focus on me."
"Okay."
Francis started. "This would be faster with my chainsaw."
The mom's gasp fills the room.
"You can get it, mister. All the kids at school would think it was cool."
"Keifer!"
Francis chuckled. "I'll try not to do too much damage, but it will take longer."
"Take your time." Explaining this to her husband is going to suck.
"Can I offer you some water or something?"
"No ma'am. We're fine," Jason said.
Once they had him free, his mom pulled him into a hug.
"Mom!" Keifer said as if he's being tortured.
The guys laughed.
"You scared me to death, so I get to love on you."
He cringed making her scowl.
"Come on, let's go to the truck," Spinelli said.
Keifer cheered and followed him outside talking a mile a minute.
"You have any slave labor for a fifteen-year-old?"
Sonny grinned. "There is always something that needs to be scrubbed at the station house."
"Good. I'll bring her down over the weekend, so, don't clean to well by then."
"You're my new favorite person," Johnny said.
She laughed as they headed to the truck.
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Elizabeth smoothed down her skirt and took a deep breath before knocking on the mansion door.
Alice quickly opened it. "Good Evening, please come in."
"Thanks!."
"I'm Alice and I'll announce you. Everyone is waiting in the dining room."
"Should I be scared?"
"I'll protect you."
Liz smiled. "Thanks."
Everyone seemed to be talking over each other before Alice clears her throat. "Miss Elizabeth Webber is here."
Monica stood and gave her a hug. "Welcome, Elizabeth. Come sit down."
Dillon patted the chair next to him. "You can sit with me." She is beautiful.
Tracy rolled her eyes. "You are in high school, so shut it."
"Mom! I'm not a child."
"That's debatable."
"I'm Dillon."
Liz smiled. "I've heard about you."
His eyes twinkled. "Do you like old films?"
"I do."
His grin widened.
Edward chuckled. "Don't mind him. How are you?"
"I'm fine, Mr. Quartermaine."
"Please, call me Edward."
"Elizabeth, it's lovely to see you again," Lila said.
"Thanks for having me."
"I think I'm going to gag," Tracy said.
Liz's eyes narrowed. "I'm off duty, so don't expect me to help you."
Monica choked on her water as Alan laughed.
Jason frowned when he spots Liz at the table.
"Well look who it is," Monica said.
Liz blushed. "Hey."
"Hi."
"Jason, I hope you don't mind that I invited Elizabeth."
He took a sit next to his girl. "It's fine." He was just not expecting it.
"How was work?" Edward asked.
"It was good."
"Anything interesting happen?" Dillon asked.
"A boy got his head stuck in between the banisters."
He laughed.
"His sister had tried to use Crisco to get him out, but it didn't work."
"I wish I could have filmed it."
"I swear, I'm stealing that camera," Tracy said.
"Mom…"
Tracy rolled her eyes.
Jason snuck his hand under the table and gripped Elizabeth's.
"She's always trying to stifle my creativity."
"Well if you wouldn't keep trying to catch us doing something inappropriate, I wouldn't have to stifle anything."
"I'm sure you'd find something wrong, Tracy," Monica said.
"Zip it, Monica, no one asked you."
The two women began to argue and Jason turned to Liz. "Welcome to hell."
She giggled. "Just let me know if I need to duck."
"I'll protect you."
"Thanks. Where is Lila?"
Edward overheard them. "My dear wife is probably doing something scandalous with your grandmother."
Liz's brow rose. "Really?"
"They call it a girl's night out."
Liz chuckled. "I like those too. And you have no idea where they go?"
Edward shook his head. "I've tried to have them followed more than once, but they always shake the tail. Elizabeth, your grandmother is quite the driver."
Jason almost choked on his drink.
Edward grinned. "Audrey and my Lila are hellions when they want to be."
"Maybe you just don't have the right people on your team," Liz said.
A slow smirked edged on to his face. "You think you're up to the challenge?"
"Leave it to me…"
Tracy rubbed her hands together. "I'm in."
Monica rolled her eyes. "Well, if she's in, then I am too."
Tracy caught a glimpse of Alice walking towards them. "And don't tell Alice, she's a traitor."
Jason chuckled as Alice stopped and her eyes narrowed.
"What?"
"Nothing, just do your job," Tracy said.
Alice muttered under her breath as she dropped a platter on the table and then walked away.
Jason started at Elizabeth. "You have no idea what you just got yourself into."
"It will be fine."
"Famous—last—words…"
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One Week Later
Epiphany shut the door of the SUV and slightly turned. "Okay, what's the plan?" They are all dressed in black.
"Audrey already left for Lila's house. They have to pass by here to go anywhere in town. This is the way it starts out every week," Elizabeth explained.
Sarah has joined them and is sitting between Tracy and Monica.
"Everyone have their seatbelts on?" Piph asked.
"Yes."
"What are they driving?"
"Well, Audrey has a black Buick. She has gotten two speeding tickets in the last year and I think she may have something going on under the hood."
Piph grinned. "Elizabeth, you have really done your homework."
"I will never underestimate Audrey Hardy."
Monica snickered. The more she thought about the situation, the more it made her giggle.
"Here comes a car," Tracy said before putting down her binoculars.
Sarah lets out a huff of air. Johnny's shift is almost over and the last thing she wants is to be in this car when she could be getting ready, but catching Audrey might end up with them getting a the secret ingredients to a recipe if they play their cards right, so is willing to make the sacrifice.
Liz grinned. "That's Gram's car. Let's go."
They slowly pulled out and traveled at a safe distance, but then the Buick took off and Piph floored it. Audrey made a sharp turn and Piph slid a bit as she took the corner fast and Sarah yelled when Tracy fell into her and then she accidentally bumped Monica.
"Hold onto your hats, ladies," Piph said.
For the next five minutes they went down alleys and dark streets until the other car finally slowed and turned down Courtland Street and Piph pulled over.
"What are you doing?" Tracy asked.
"Give me the binoculars," Piph said.
She handed them over.
"What's going on?" Monica asked as she leaned forward.
"Oh—my—God!" Piph said. "I don't believe this." She handed them to Elizabeth who promptly gasped as she watched two figures enter an adult book store.
"No freaking way!"
"What!" Sarah said.
Liz turned to look at them. "They just went into a porn store."
It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop and then Tracy's cackle filled the air.
"What is so funny, Tracy? I find the whole thing reprehensible! To think that Lila would risk the family reputation like this is just—it's scandalous," Monica said.
Tears are pouring out of Tracy's eyes.
"Have you lost your mind?" Epiphany asked.
Tracy gasped for air. "We have been played."
Monica frowned. "What?"
"That wasn't Lila and Audrey. I'd bet my life on it."
Monica's eyes narrowed. "We're going in."
Piph sighed. "Dear Lord, God, forgive me. I'm going to straight to hell." She pulled the car forward as Tracy burst into giggles again.
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Dillon struggled to walk in his mom's shoes which have a medium heel. Lila's shoes were too small, so they had to improvise. His eyes grew big as he spotted a sex toy.
"Holy—"
Alice leaned forward. "Eyes on the floor or I'll wash them out with soap later."
His face contorted. "That's disgusting. Do you know how much that would hurt?"
"You have lipstick on your teeth."
His face paled. "Words I never thought would be uttered to me."
Liz and Epiphany stepped in front of them and Sarah blocked another aisle and Monica the last one.
"Freeze!" Tracy said.
Dillon and Alice held their hands up as they looked down.
Tracy ripped off Alice's wig. "I knew it."
Liz frowned as she watched the Lila impersonator. "You're awful hairy," she said looking at his arms.
Sarah gasped as she stared at a shelf. "That is humongous. How does it even fit?"
Dillon groaned. "My ears!"
Tracy gasped. "Oh, my God! Dillon!"
Monica couldn't help it and busted up laughing. "The look on your face was priceless."
"Shut it, Monica! My baby is going to be traumatized."
Sarah gulped. "Forget him. I don't even want to know what that does."
Liz turned to look and frowned. "I have no idea."
"Freeze!" Robert Scorpio said moving towards them. When Lila and Audrey had told him their plans, he had gleefully agreed to play it to the hilt. Apparently, Cook had heard everything and sold the ladies out. The store manager was paid off by Lila and just the looks of the women standing before him made it all worthwhile.
Liz finally found her voice. "What did we do wrong?"
"Not only did you blow the stop sign, but the store manager thought you were holding up these—" He stopped when he gets a good look at Dillon. Lila had given him warning, but there were just no words to describe how bad he looked. The flowered wrap dress was ill fitting, the stocking had runs and the wig had become a bit dislodged-as well as the bra which is crooked. Red lipstick stained his teeth and he had blue eyes shadow on and eyeliner. "You make one, ugly woman."
"Don't talk about my son like that. You'll hurt his feelings."
Monica snorted.
"Padilla, Cruz, cuff them."
All the women started talking at once except for Alice who is barely keeping a straight face. She is so glad that Lila arranged to get a couple copies of the surveillance video. It will be a classic for years to come.
One by one, they are put in the back of a van and driven to the station.
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Jason's phone buzzes about ten minutes after they got off. They were still milling around the station shooting the breeze with the guys on the next shift.
"Hello?"
"Hey—um—I'm so sorry to ask this, but can you come bail me and Sarah out? Oh, and your mom, your aunt Tracy, Alice, Dillon, and Epiphany too…"
Everyone in the station is staring at his perplexed face.
"Jason?"
"Is this a joke?"
"Will you hang up the phone and get your ass down here!" Tracy yelled in the background.
"Don't bring money for her! We'll just leave her in here," Monica said.
Jason gulped. "I'll be right there." He shoved the phone in his pocket.
"What happened?" Sonny asked.
"I need to go to the police station and Johnny, you're coming with me."
They rushed to their cars.
"Can you at least tell me why?"
"Our girlfriends are criminals—that's why."
Johnny's head tilted. "Seriously? This makes her even hotter."
Jason shook his head. "Only you…"