He'd turned the lights off because they made him feel exposed in a way he wasn't used to. Not even being almost naked in front of flashing cameras could make him self-conscious. In all his years, he'd never felt so uncomfortable, so unsure about what he was supposed to do next. Even during his early years as an incubus, he'd had his creator there to guide him and teach him how to live in his new form. But Alfred was on his own now, and was sitting in the darkened hotel suite while he waited for Feliks and Toris to get back so he could talk to them.

Fingers impatiently tapped on the arm of the couch he was sitting on, blue eyes locked on the door. Any minute now. They'd texted him to let him know when they were on their way back—he knew they would be there soon.

The sound of familiar laughter reached him several moments before the door opened, letting light into the room as Feliks and Toris walked in. Both males paused to see that all the lights were off, though their eyes easily found Alfred's form on the couch.

"What's with the creepy set up?" Feliks asked, making his way into the suite as Toris shut the door and turned the lights back on. Alfred almost flinched at the brightness, not because it hurt his eyes but because he felt like he was laid out for the world to see and pick him apart.

"I…need to talk to you guys," the incubus said slowly, gaze lowered uncharacteristically. Usually, he was all about making eye contact. It showed confidence and focus and helped to read other people's emotions and thoughts. The fact that he couldn't even look his two best friends in the eye was proof that something was wrong.

"Alfred, what's the matter?" Feliks asked in hushed tones, sitting beside the taller blond and touching his arm in concern. Silent, Toris sat on his other side and patiently waited for his response.

Nervous about what he had to say, Alfred chewed his lip for several moments. "I called him today."

"Who?"

Blue eyes glanced to meet green before Alfred hid his face in his hands. "My father."

That earned a surprised intake of breath from both of his companions, and Alfred let out a shuddering sigh.

"I had to. It's…this thing with Arthur, I don't know what it is. He's human but he didn't fall for me in the pub, and kissing him is like…he's so perfect, you know? But I have no fucking idea what the hell I'm doing and he sent me a really sexy picture and it made me horny but incubi aren't supposed to get horny we just get hungry so I don't know what to do and hell I masturbated for the first time in over two hundred years so what am I supposed to do? He's human and I'm not but damn it I really like him!" He pushed all the words out in a rush, afraid that if he tried to speak any slower he would get stuck somewhere and wouldn't be able to get it all out. The other two males were staring at him, probably in shock, but he couldn't bring himself to look at them. All of this was so messed up. An incubus, tearing himself up over a human? It wasn't supposed to work like that, and so he'd called his father, one of the two mythicals who had turned him into what he was, in order to ask for advice. What he'd been told had only made this harder.

"So what did he say?" Toris asked after several moments had passed, his tone much calmer than Alfred's had been. The incubus sighed again.

"He congratulated me, the bastard. It's like he thinks me being hung up on Arthur is something to celebrate. How is this in any way a good thing? I want to be with him but I can't. Unless he's got the sex-drive of a pubescent teenager, he's not going to want me as often as I need to feed and I don't want to have to cheat on him. I don't want him to be just a source of food, either."

Upset, he finally managed to sit up again and looked between the nymph and fairie sitting beside him. "You know I haven't been genuinely attracted to someone like this in two and a half centuries? It was always for food, never because I actually wanted to be with them or liked them. I was just hungry. Now I found Arthur and nothing makes sense any more, and my so-called dad was completely useless when I called him to get some advice."

"Well," Feliks somewhat timidly spoke up, "maybe he thinks Arthur's your mate and that's why he congratulated you. It'd explain why he's, like, immune to your incubus powers, wouldn't it?"

Shrugging, Alfred ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. Does it work like that? No one ever told me, the few other incubi and succubi I've met don't have mates and they didn't seem to want one. Can I even have a mate? I mean…you guys are bonded mates. What does that mean for you?"

It was quiet as Feliks and Toris looked at each other, both smiling.

"It means we're never alone," the nymph began, a light blush appearing on his cheeks, "that, no matter what, we have each other."

"We always know where the other is, what they're doing." Toris reached past Alfred and took Feliks' hand into his own, lacing their fingers. "It's a mental connection, and a physical one. Being away from each other for too long can be physically painful…but being together…nothing compares to that. It's bliss." His voice lowered to little more than a whisper as he spoke, gaze locked with the green-eyed blond on the other end of the couch. Feliks' face had turned a pleased shade of red and he looked about ready to crawl right over Alfred to put himself on the faerie's lap and reaffirm their bond right then and there. Seeing it put that familiar bitter taste of jealousy in the back of Alfred's throat.

Damn it, he wanted to have a connection like that with someone. He was tired of partner after partner being in love with him for a night or two then fading back into the human world he'd been stolen from so many years ago. Sex for food was fine and all but being around two people so obviously in love like Toris and Feliks were made him want something more than just food. He wanted to make love for once. He wanted to make love with Arthur.

"So let's say Arthur is supposed to be my mate," he began slowly, blue eyes locked on the carpet once more, "what am I supposed to do about it?"

"You mate with him, of course," Feliks said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that?" Frustrated, Alfred rose from the couch and paced for a moment, hands clasped behind his back. "I like him. That's easy. He's funny and smart and he's definitely sexy. I like his laugh and his voice and his smile, his eyes and his hair…he's fucking perfect, okay? Even this weird game we're playing is more fun than I would've thought it'd be. I just saw him on Saturday and talked to him yesterday but I miss him like crazy anyway and I don't think I can wait until Thursday to see him again. I'd sleep with him in an instant but only if he really wanted to, and I wouldn't use any of my powers to do it because that wouldn't be fair to him even though he's practically immune to me. I want to see him smile every single day, spend the rest of my life with him." He rounded on his companions, desperate for some sort of advice or reassurance. "Is this what it's supposed to feel like?"

Feliks had the biggest smile Alfred had ever seen on the nymph's face. "You're totally in love with him."

Love. The word brought him up short. He'd never been in love before. There hadn't been time. Could he really be in love with Arthur? Even though he'd only known him for a few days, he'd never felt like this about anyone before…

"Shit." Moving slowly, the incubus lowered himself into one of the plush chairs in their living room and put a hand over his eyes. Not good. This was not good. Falling in love with a human was the wrong thing to do.

Confused and worried about their friend, Feliks and Toris exchanged glances before they got up and went to the larger male.

"What's wrong, Alfred?" Toris asked, kneeling beside the chair so that he could look up into the blond's face.

"I can't be in love with Arthur," came the muttered response, slightly muffled. It put a disappointed frown on Feliks' face.

"Why not? I think he's good for you," the nymph insisted. "What's wrong with being in love with him?"

Silence filled the apartment as brunet and blond waited for Alfred to give his reasoning, but the American couldn't manage to get the words out. It was wrong because it couldn't work. It would never work.

"It's…he's human, Fe. Human. Even if I did manage to mate with him, he'll grow old and die and I won't. If he doesn't want to have sex and I need to feed, I'll have to cheat on him. And how am I supposed to tell him what I am? Who in their right mind would believe me, especially in this day and age? He'd think I'm insane, accuse me of lying or being a sex addict and refuse to ever speak to me or see me again. I could try to keep it a secret, but then he wouldn't really know me and I don't want that." He was starting to think all of this was completely pointless, that he never should have gone up to Arthur in the pub that night. Things would be easier if he hadn't, but no, he'd been smitten and just had to talk to the Brit, had to be scolded and trip over himself to apologize, take the man on a date and try his hardest to win him over. Not seduce him, win him over.

I really am in love with him…fuck me. No wonder dad was so excited.

Timid, Feliks leaned his weight on the side of the chair and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "You could turn him."

Two pairs of blue eyes looked up at the nymph. "What?" Alfred asked, sure he'd heard wrong.

"Well, if the main problem is that he's human, then turn him into a mythical," the green-eyed blond explained. "Then he'd be immortal, too, and you could, like teach him how to be part of our world and stuff."

It was a legitimate idea but the more Alfred thought about it, the less he liked it. "But what sort of mythical would I turn him into?" There weren't exactly many to choose from. Most mythicals were born that way and only certain ones had the ability to turn humans, though it wasn't easy to do so even for powerful mythicals. Choosing one to turn Arthur wouldn't be easy, and actually turning him would be ten times harder.

His expression now thoughtful, Feliks considered the question, though it was Toris who spoke first.

"An incubus, so that you can feed from each other," the brunet suggested, and Feliks nodded his agreement. But Alfred's mind went to the process of becoming an incubus, his memories of that night still so clear despite the passing of time. No. No way in hell was he going to let anyone do that to Arthur.

"Fuck no. You think he'd be okay with having that done to him? I wasn't okay with it in 1781 when I was turned and I seriously doubt I could stand by and let it happen to Arthur. Besides, I'd get really, really fucking jealous," he added, and his friends nodded because they knew what it took to be turned into an incubus and it wasn't something done lightly. Alfred was practically a fluke, a joke, even. It wasn't supposed to work on him. "Besides, if I'm really in love with him, then I love him just the way he is and wouldn't change him for the world."

This was all so complicated and it was starting to give him a headache. He didn't want to talk about it anymore, didn't want to think about it, so he stood again and straightened his clothes. "I need some time to think. I'll be back later." Grabbing his coat, the bespectacled blond left the hotel without a backwards glance and headed straight for the front door. The sun was starting to go down as he walked along the streets, not really paying attention to where he was going.

This isn't fair. I didn't do anything to deserve this. All I did was accept a drink from a kind stranger and the next thing I know, I'm not a human anymore. Bastards made me into an incubus by fucking accident and didn't even apologize. They barely stuck around long enough to keep me from dying and I've heard from them, what, four times since? Assholes. I should have gotten married and grown old and died centuries ago but I'm fucking stuck here and now there's Arthur…

In all honesty, he did consider the Brit someone worth waiting a few hundred years to meet. It was easy to imagine he'd become a mythical and lived so long because he was meant to meet the golden blond, meant to fall in love with him. But if all of this was destined to be, then why was it so hard to understand?

"Sucks to be a sex demon," he muttered, lifting his head to survey his surroundings. To his surprise, he found he'd wandered to that same street as his first night out exploring in search of a meal. The pub where he'd met Arthur was only a few buildings away and hope filled him to think the smaller man might be there now. Quick steps carried him down the sidewalk to the front door and he entered the building as casually as he could, blue-eyed gaze sweeping over the people there. Disappointment replaced the hope—no Arthur.

Dejected, he approached the bar and slid onto one of the stools. Might as well have a drink while he was there before heading back to the hotel. "Whiskey, straight," he told the bartender, and the stern-faced man turned to get him his drink.

"Vhiskey, huh?" an unfamiliar voice asked, and Alfred turned to find himself looking at one of the strangest humans he'd ever seen. Red eyes and white hair, a cocky grin on a pale face that was still handsome. Disconcerting but intriguing, that's what this human was. An albino. His grin grew and the stranger stuck his hand out for Alfred to shake. "I'm Gilbert."

"Alfred," he replied, curious about this man. People came up to him often enough, but he hadn't even been looking to be talked to.

"Nice to meet you," Gilbert replied, occupying the chair beside Alfred's and resting his forearm on the bar top. "American, ja?"

The blond nodded, not at all surprised that his accent had been recognized by this man. "I'm on vacation."

"Hm." Thoughtful, Gilbert tapped the wood under his fingers for a moment and Alfred was tempted to ask what he was so focused on. He didn't, though, since it wasn't any of his business, and took another drink from his glass. "Und vhat do you do for a living, Alfred?"

How many people was he going to meet in this bar?

"I'm a model."

Interest sparked in those red eyes, and the way Gilbert set his mouth was distinctly smug though Alfred wasn't sure why that would be. "Impressive. Vhy did you decide to vacation in here London? Surely Las Vegas or L.A. or Paris vould be more suited to a model."

Shrugging, Alfred swirled his drink in his glass. "I'm here courtesy of my boss. He picks the destinations and I just enjoy the ride."

"But vhere vould you go if you got to pick?" the albino pressed, leaning closer to Alfred as he spoke. His posture was inviting, tone and expression clearly stating that he found the American attractive and was looking to keep this conversation going.

A week ago, Alfred would have considered this an effort-free meal. Now, though, he ignored the signs and turned his gaze upward as he considered the question. Where would he want to go? He'd never had to choose before since Feliks always knew exactly what he wanted and where he wanted to be and when he wanted to be there. The nymph was a notorious travel bug and Alfred and Toris always went along with his plans without complaint. It wasn't as if the trips he planned ever went awry. Feliks was too good at getting what he wanted for that.

"You know, I don't actually know." He chuckled, a little embarrassed to admit that. "I guess I don't care where I'm going as long as I don't have to go by myself. It's the company I care about more than the destination."

That was truer than it would have been a week ago, too. Alfred had no problem with travelling on his own. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself and had travelled too much get himself lost or in trouble. But when he thought about this trip to London, how neutral he'd been towards the whole idea, and then considered how he'd met Arthur, well…had he known the Brit was waiting for him, he would have boarded the plane a great deal more enthusiastically than he had. And this faculty party thing on Thursday? It sounded painfully boring, but he was going to get to spend time with Arthur so he was looking forward to it almost impatiently.

"Good looks und a heart of gold, huh? You're a catch, Alfred."

The compliment put a grin on the blond's face and he chuckled, looking at Gilbert out of the corner of his eye as he took another drink of his whiskey. "I hope so, or I'm in a load of trouble."

"Vhat makes you say zhat?" Gilbert asked with polite curiosity, and Alfred turned his glass on the bar top, watching the way the light reflected in the colored liquid.

"Cause I met a guy the other night and I'm doing my best to make him fall for me but I'm not sure it's working." Normally, he wouldn't tell a stranger like this albino that sort of information, but Gilbert was being mildly flirtatious so Alfred figured mentioning that he was interested in someone would discourage that. He wasn't hungry and he had no intentions of hooking up with anyone but the Brit who had so effortlessly captured his affections.

"Ah, I see. Vell, Alfred, I'm sure he's falling just as hard as you seem to be." There was almost a teasing edge on the words but Alfred was encouraged nonetheless. He certainly hoped Arthur was falling for him, even if it wouldn't be good for either of them in the long run. But sitting there talking to Gilbert, it was easy to forget that things were so much more complicated than Arthur would ever know. For tonight, he was going to pretend to be human again and not worry about what his mythical world would bring tomorrow.

"Thanks." Another drink had him feeling light-hearted and happy. He was on vacation, for fuck's sake. It was about time he finally relaxed.