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Nikki sat on Lola's sofa flicking through the channels of the TV aimlessly while she waited for her to get ready. Not paying attention to any of them, just doing it for something to do. To take her mind off the evening ahead. Last time she'd been to Lorraine's was the morning of the break up. After they'd spent a perfect night together and she'd been on cloud nine, Lorraine had just dismissed them completely. Breaking Nikki's heart in the process. Nikki had always wondered if she'd done the right thing, stubbornly refusing to listen to Lorraine when she'd tried to explain about how fucked up she was emotionally. Maybe the break up had been a blip but it was one blip too many for Nikki. She'd been heartbroken in the past and hadn't wanted to go back down that route. Then there was the kiss today... She hated herself for allowing that to happen. Even more so for enjoying it so much... For not wanting to stop... for wanting to touch Lorraine, feel her hands on her, hear her scream her name and... No. Nikki stopped herself from fantasising. It should be Lola she wanted. Lola she was fantasising about. She hadn't even slept with Lola yet and it upset her that Lorraine assumed she had. Yet at the same time, she had enjoyed the jealousy flash in Lorraine's eyes when she'd said about her being in someone else's bed. Maybe she should have told her? But it was none of her business. They were finished. Lorraine did that. Nikki was convinced Lorraine just wanted her now because she couldn't have her. But was unsure why she couldn't get her out of her own head... Maybe it was time to take things further with Lola? Maybe.
"Babe... What about this one?" Lola made Nikki jump out of her thoughts as she entered in yet another dress. The eighth she'd tried.
"Lola, you'd look beautiful in a bin bag. I don't know why you're panicking so much." Nikki smiled. Lola really did look gorgeous. Effortlessly so. That's what had first attracted Nikki to her.
"But I need to look my best. She always looks so glam doesn't she?" Lola studied herself disappointedly in the mirror.
"Who does?" Nikki blinked innocently. She knew who.
"Lorraine. Obviously. I'm gonna go for the black one I tried earlier. This pink looks too cheap. She'll be in designer no doubt." Lola tutted.
"It's not a bloody competition. For gods sake Lola." Nikki snapped. Her patience wearing thin. She'd got ready in half an hour. Quick shower, jeans, tight tee and converse. Done. Her nerves were already at their peak about the evening and she just wanted to get it over with.
"Sorry... Just don't want to let you down." Lola shrugged. Sadness etched across her pretty face. Dimples vanished as her smile fell. Sending a pang of guilt through Nikki's heart like a dagger.
"No I'm sorry. Just a bit stressed that's all..." Nikki wrapped her arms around Lola's waist and as if by magic, the dimples Nikki loved so much were back. "That's better." Nikki kissed each cheek on each dimple making Lola giggle.
"You know... We could always give it a miss tonight?" Lola raised her eyebrows lowering her hands to rest on Nikkis hips, pulling her closer. "Stay here...?" She kissed Nikki's neck.
"We can't... She'll have gone out of her way. It's not fair is it?" Nikki pulled away. Her words even surprising herself. She'd wanted to get out of going to Lorraine's and Lola had just given her a get out of jail free card yet she refused.
"Suppose so..." Lola pouted. "Give me five minutes then." She ran to put the black dress on. Leaving Nikki kicking herself for not taking her up on the offer of staying there instead of going to her secret ex's. Silently chastising herself. What was she doing?
Meanwhile, back at Lorraine's, she was running around frantically trying to get everything ready for the accidental dinner party she'd arranged. The food had arrived and was already in the oven warming up and filling her immaculate home with the succulent scent of chicken and all the trimmings, creating the illusion that she'd been slaving away. She hasn't of course. She'd been digging out her most revealing dress. A simple LBD but she knew it was Nikki's favourite. She wanted her to know she'd worn it for her. Wanted to attract her attention away from Lola. Most of all, she wanted to get her alone and explain how wrong she'd been to accuse Lorraine of only wanting her because she was with someone else. If only Nikki knew exactly what Lorraine had been through since she left Waterloo Rd. She'd tell her. She silently promised herself. She'd be brave and tell her.
Lorraine looked at the table all laid out and smiled proudly. Then she felt a deep sadness realising that there were 5 places set. Not just two. It wasn't just her and Nikki. It was Nikki, her new girlfriend, Sonya and... Oh God knows who. Her latest fella. Then Lorraine. Alone. A gooseberry in her own home. Lorraine's heart started beating fast, her face felt hot and her chest icy cold. she held her hands tightly together.
"Not now. Not fucking now." She sat and bent over catching her breath. She quickly calmed down and stood up straightening the table cloth where it had crinkled slightly. As normal as you like.
DING DONG.
Lorraine swallowed hard, checked her reflection on the way passed the mirror and walked to let her first guest in... She closed her eyes for a second, plastered on her best smile, then opened the door.
"H.. Hi..." Nikki stuttered looking Lorraine up and down and clumsily handing her a bottle of wine.
"Hey Lorraine!" Lola over enthusiastically kissed each of Lorraine's cheeks. Lorraine resisted the urge to push her away and back through the front door, away from Nikki. Instead she kept her eyes fixed on Nikki's running all over her body. Mission accomplished. Lorraine smiled as Nikki's eyes reached her own. Nikki blushed slightly realising Lorraine had noticed her silently undressing her. Lorraine wished it was her hands, not her eyes and for a moment she was sure she could see the same wish in Nikki's regretful smile.
"Thanks." Lorraine held the bottle of wine up, prising herself away from Lola who was hugging her tightly. Lorraine wasn't a very tactile person as it was but especially not with strangers and she hated how overfamiliar Lola was with her. Lorraine moved towards Nikki not really sure how to greet her. Lola had invited herself in and could already be heard oooh'ing at aaaah'ing at Lorraine's decor in the other room. Lorraine leant up and kissed Nikki on the cheek. Leaving her lips against her soft cheek for a little longer than necessary. Then moved her mouth to whisper into Nikki's ear. "I'm sorry about this morning. Can we talk later. Please Nikki?" She was aware how desperate she must sound to Nikki but she didn't care. Nikki nodded and pulled her face away. Somewhat reluctantly.
"Of course we can... Nice dress." Nikki smiled knowingly. Jokingly. Trying to keep things safe between them.
"Alright Sis?" Sonya bounced down the drive. A guy following her. Hoody up. Trainers on. Attitude swagger. Sonya's usual type. "This is zeb."
"Alright? Fucking hell. This is a bit nice innit?" Zeb looked at Lorraine's house like a kid looking at Disney land.
"Erm... thanks. Sorry... Zeb? Your names Zeb?" Lorraine frowned. Nikki stifled a giggle.
"Short for Zebra innit." Zeb pulled up his hoody to reveal an arm covered with a zebra sleeve tattoo.
"Isn't it beautiful?" Sonya looked on admirably.
"Let's go in shall we?" Lorraine forced a smile and rolled her eyes. Playfully hitting Nikki to stop her laughing as they all made their way through to the lounge. This was going to be a looooong night.