Mark and I got back to the hospital just as Kate was waking up. He and I looked like we had bought everything possible for a new baby. He had about six bags and I had another four. When we walked in, Kate started laughing. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you two were married. Look at you!" She started laughing harder, as I turned to look at Mark who had started pulling things out of one of his bags.
He had a burp cloth on one shoulder, a few rompers carefully balanced on his knee, and a package of baby bottles trying to open the plastic around them. I had to laugh too. Even though he didn't have a child, he sure was acting like he was a proud papa.
The nurse interrupted our laughter as she walked in holding a tiny blue bundle. She placed Cameron in Kate's arms and walked back out of the room, not saying a word. Kate opened the blanket a bit, exposing a tiny nose, chubby cheeks, and the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.
I suddenly had baby envy. I couldn't wait until my little girl arrived. I couldn't help but feel a little guilt too. I mean, look at Mark, cooing over his baby nephew, and all I could see was Derek. How wonderful he would be as a father. How amazing he would be to me before I gave birth and while I was in labor. I felt my heart aching for his touch, to see his smiling face. I suddenly spoke up, surprising even myself, "Derek's the father."
Kate and Mark looked at me with disbelief. Suddenly, Marks face grew cold. "What did you say Meredith?" His tone pierced my heart. He had never spoken to me in such a tone, and I knew he was upset with me. He turned and walked out of the room. Hell, who could blame him? I had the chance, so many times, to tell him, to tell Kate, to tell Derek. But, I didn't.
"Meredith?" Kate asked me.
"Yea?"
"Why didn't you tell us? I thought you trusted us. You know we would have supported you either way right?"
I sighed. She was right. I think the only reason I hadn't told anyone is the fact that I'd never truly admitted it to myself.
"Kate, I'm sorry. I do trust you guys. I just really didn't know how to tell you. I had planned on telling you that night. You know, the night Derek showed up for dinner. It was just too much. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't live knowing he 'settled' for me because I was pregnant. If Derek and I are meant to be, we will be."
Mark nodded and walked over to me. "It's okay sweetheart. We just wish you would have told us sooner. It would make what I'm about to tell you a helluva lot easier."
Oh shit, what did he have to tell me? Obviously it involved Derek. I hesitated, "What Mark? What do I need to know?"
Mark POV:
I walked out into the hallway, still shocked by what Meredith had just told me. I didn't care about their history or our friendships, he was the father and damnit, he had a right to know.
I dialed his number and anxiously waited for him to pick up the phone.
Der POV:
I pulled the phone out of my pocket again, and flipped it open. I said hello, but my I knew my voice carried all the pain and confusion I was feeling at that moment.
Mark:
Derek, thank god you answered. Okay, so, I know things between us are rocky, but...
Derek:
"Rocky? Why the hell would things be rocky? Because you are having a baby with the woman I love? I'm so done trying to be your friend. I should have known better than to give such a jackass a second chance" I seethed. He had hurt me more deeply than I had ever been hurt. This time there would be no forgiving. I took a deep breath, this couldn't be happening. I felt my world crashing down around me.
Mark:
Wait! Derek what did you just say? You know about Meredith? How did you...
Derek:
"How the hell do you think I know? Eva saw you too shopping for baby clothes, and feeling the baby kick. Mark she is the love of MY life. I am supposed to be with her.. not..not.." but I could no longer take it. Tears began to fall again, and I couldn't speak.
Mark:
Derek, you've got it all wrong. I called to tell you that Kate had her baby. It's a boy. And regarding the Meredith issue, the baby's not mine. She's yours.
Derek POV:
I was stunned into silence Could Mark be telling me the truth? Could Meredith really be pregnant with my baby? I felt my whole world being turned upside down.
Mark POV: Hey Rico. You still with me?
Derek:
Yeah right. I am supposed to believe the man that screwed my wife behind my back. Not the best way to convince me of your morals Mark. You are a lying bastard and we both know it!"
Mark:
Why would I lie about this Derek? Seriously. You know me better than that. I may not be the best friend in the world, but I have morals. Shes right at 20 weeks Derek. How long ago was Prom?
Dereks Thoughts:
It had been twenty weeks since prom exactly. That would mean Mark was telling the truth. That would mean Meredith was pregnant with my baby. OH MY GOD! I was going to be a father. Holy hell, this was HUGE news. And suddenly I was elated. I had to see her.
Derek:
"Ummm yeah, just trying to process that I am going to be a father. Holy shit Mark! I am going to be a father! Me! Derek Shepherd, a dad! Ok, I'm on my way. I'll get there as soon as I can.
Mark:
See ya soon Derek. Oh and, I'm sorry about all this. I would have told you sooner, but well, she just informed me today about it. Actually about 10 minutes ago. So you know, I did the right thing for once in my life.
Der POV:
I hung up the phone, and I could feel adrenaline rushing through my veins. I was unbelievably excited and nervous all at the same time.
"Jamie, I have to go. It's an emergency." I explained. We got in my car to head home, and in my mind I was already with Meredith, not it was time to get my body there too.
"Well, I called and told Derek, Kate here had her baby. Kate and Derek have always been close and I figured he would want to know. What I didn't expect when I called, though, was for him to tell me he was on the next plane out to Boston."
I couldn't believe this. Derek was coming back to Boston? I was showing now, so there was no way to hide the fact that I was pregnant. I needed reinforcements, and fast.
"Uh, I'll be right back," I said to Mark and Kate who exchanged curious glances as I rushed out into the hallway. I quickly opened my cellphone and called the one person I knew would know the right things to say: Cristina.
Mer:
"Cris, hey it's me.
Cris:
"Hey Mer. It's about damn time you called me. Did you forget how to dial?"
Mer:
Yea, Yea, smartass. But seriously,I need your help.
Cris:
Oh, so now that you need me, you call. I see how it is.
Mer:
Derek's coming to Boston.
Cris:
"What? Mcdreamy is coming to boston? How did that happen?
Mer:
McSteamy. Who else.
Cris:
Oh jeez, McTooHotForMyScrubs strikes again
Mer: (laughing)
Yea. You know Mark. Although he does look hot in his scrubs... SO anyway, can you come?
Cris:
yeah, not as hot as he thinks he does though. Mer, of course I'll come. But you do know that I would only miss surgeries for my person right? I mean, I could be scrubbing in on a whipple, but I coming to help you. Just so you know.
Mer:
Thank you SO much Cris. You are TRULY My person! OH and by the way, Derek doesn't know...
Cris:
"What! you didn't tell him that you were having his baby! Meredith Grey, I am seriously going to kick your ass."
Mer (feeling guilty):
Well I did try. But it didn't work out so well. How's he been anyway?
Cris:
"Um, he's been good" Christina said quickly.
Mer Thoughts:
I knew something was up. She was my person and I knew when she was hiding something.
Mer: (growing worried)
Cristina? What are you not telling me?
Cris:
"Mer, Derek asked that scrub nurse Jamie out. They're on a date as we speak. In fact, well, I don't know if I should be saying this...
Mer Thoughts:
My world stopped. He had moved on. Without me. I sighed. I only had myself to blame. What was I thinking? That he would wait forever for me to finally make up my mind and come running back to him?
Mer: (crying)
Seriously? What else are you hiding Cris? Seriously!
Cris:
"Well...he seems happy. There's been an extra spring in his step or something. I'm sorry Meredith, I don't mean to upset you.
Mer Thoughts:
Yep. My world had officially crashed. He was definitely moving forward. I could feel the tears slide down my face when I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I yelled in pain and dropped my phone and the last thing I remember saying was "Help me Cris...there's something wrong with the baby..."
Cris:
"Mer...Meredith!" I yelled into the phone but there was no answer. Oh my god! Something was wrong with Meredith and the baby, and I was more scared than I would ever admit. I kept thinking that I should probably kick my own ass. How could I have told her that? I knew it would just upset her. I felt terrible. I needed to get to her. My person needed me, and I needed her. I hung up the phone and sprinted out of the room to my car, so I could get there as soon as humanly possible.