Disclaimer: Don't own 'em!
Another chappie up! THE 10TH CHAPTER!!! parade music plays and confetti and balloons fall from ceiling I'm so happy I could cry! But I won't! Ok I will! SOB!
Thank you, guys! You complete me! That was really corny....
drxd: Got that right! Good guess!
PottersGirl13: That was a long review! Well, I'm not really planning on any H/Hr romance, sorry! I just put the D/Hr (actually, I favor any kind of pairings, not only D/Hr. Except slash! Eeww!) because it would create more awkward situations with Harry. I'm more comfortable with writing humorous fics than romance, but I try y'know! But hell thanks! Glad you loved it! Sorry again about the no H/Hr romance!
diamond004: Oh yeah! He is! Well, if you took a look at my (random) autobiography, you'd see that I live in the Philippines. I was just born in LA. Thanks!
hp-0bsessed: Thanks! Glad you loved it! After reading my fic, obviously Dan! And maybe go somewhere more than just a date....OOPS! There goes my mind again. ;p
Granger-gurl-rox: Yay! New reviewer! Thanks!
Lauren Booth: Thank you! :p
DanFan: So sorry about your butt! Thanks!
The Prophetess: I like your name! I'll try next time or next chapter! Thanks!
Nymoue: Oh just a couple of words mentioned in the 4th chapter! ;)
freak-on-a-leash16: Thank you very much!
Destiny13: Oh yeah! Ron sure is clueless! Thank you!
UniMyth: Gee thanks! I thought I overdid a little on Hermione's character though! But thanks for confirming it!
KrAzYkEyZ: I'll try! I'll try! I'll try! ;p Hehe Thanks!
jenjenjenfur: Hey you again! Yeah thanks! Heard of the movie "Along Came Polly"? Now I think FERRETS are adorable. Imagine a a white ferret with a blonde wig and robes. Aaw, cute!br br Bwondergirl03:/B Okie-dokie wondergirlerini! ;p
dramione4ever: Haha, I see you did your research! Yup! And I'm proud to be a Filipino! )
Halo Friendlies: K, I will! Thanks!
Time for a little speech since this is my 10th chapter!br br Thank you to all my readers and especially the peeps who reviewed every single chapter! From the start, I never thought my fic would be so funny that I would make anyone lol! Really! It never crossed my mind that many would fall off their chairs, bang their fist on the computer table, and the sort. And I even made my best friend and another friend of mine laughed like hell! I think I busted her lungs though.... Anyways, THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND REVIEWS!!! COOKIES FOR ALL OF YOU!!! tosses cookies to everyone and confetti & balloons falls from the ceiling, again
Previously:
"Glad I'm not in my body right now!" He Harry sniggered.br br "Quit laughing or you'll find yourself in a very very horrible situation." She snarled.
Poor Harry, what he won't know what will happen the next morning, or rather the next chapter.
Chapter 10: HARRY'S BOXERS FINALLY REVEALED!!! And other stuff
Harry flourished his last sentence about the constellation angles with heavy eyelids. Hours ago, he was spared with Hermione's anger being diffused by Parvati. And in addition, word spread quickly throughout the entire school that Hermione Granger actually failed a test and concocted a potion wrongly! Though she did let out her anger on him somewhat by forcing him to change his eh, pad, with his eyes shut tight. You know what kind of pad, ok? wink, wink ;) He put away the Arithmancy assignment and was about to fall asleep on front of the fire when Ron poked him awake and helped him up the stairs so he won't have to fall down sleeping. With Hermione's help, or rather Harry's own body strength, they managed to lay him on the bed without waking him up, not that he won't be able to anyways.
"Well 'mione, he's not used to working really late at night." muttered Ron to Hermione as they exited the girl's dorm very very quietly.
"I know." Hermione whispered. "But at least he learned loads on Arithmancy!" A sweatdrop formed behind Ron's head as he rolled his eyes. As Ron climbed in to his respective bed and fell asleep immediately, Hermione crawled to Harry's trunk and pulled out something that'll probably be added to a "Hogwarts, A History" books....Jaws music plays on the background
Next morning, Harry awoke with the sun nearly blinding him. Or maybe he awoke due to the noise Parvati and Lavender were creating by looking for Parvati's eyeliner. Groaning, Harry got up, mumbling a reply to the cheerful good mornings the two girls were giving him. After his usual very awkward shower, changing of clothes, and dodging Lavender who wants to put makeup on him, he went to the common room to find it unusualy empty.
"That's odd" Harry thought. He went ahead to the Great Hall, thinking that Hermione and Ron were waiting for him there. But as he enetered the Great Hall, there were quite few people having breakfast. And all of the Slytherins were gone.
"Defenitely odd" he thought. He also saw the doors leading to the front lawn wide open and loud hearty laughs were being carried inside the Hall. Curious, he ran outside to see the commotion. A large crowd met him and seemed to be laughing and pointing up at something. Harry followed their fingers and became petrified.
The Enchantresses: Here it is! One of the moments we've been all waiting for! And I think I'll take this opportunity to thank the people who--
readers: AHEM!
The Enchantresses: erm, never mind.
A pair of boxer shorts hung on a flagpole with the famous Harry Potter's grinning face and cute little snitches fluttering every second (A/N: note, the pictures move!) printed on it and where the area the butt is supposed to be covered were the words in bold letters;
"I'M A GOOD SEEKER"
"Hermione!" Harry hissed angrily. Automaticaly, he scanned around for a bushy haired girl and a redheaded one. Though Draco Malfoy and Dumb an--urk, Crabbe and Goyle got to him first. Draco placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and laughed soundly.
"Mya! Shit, where IS Potter?" He gasped in between howls. Harry shook his head feverishly and ran away, in case Draco plans on snogging him again. He left his rival leaning on both Du--crap, Crabbe AND Goyle for support. Harry ran inside the empty Entrance Hall and leaned on the stone wall, breathing heavily and trying to flush all the redness in his face. While he slid down the wall, he heard more laughing. But this time, it sounded so familiar even though it was only one person. Harry followed the thunderous laugh and found himself on a balcony. There he found his, well, former body and Head (and laughing) Boy Ron and Hermione. They were watching the chaos and the boxers waving proudly on the flagpole below. He slowly crept behind the two and listened.
"Oh Harry is so busted!" Ron was saying, trying to keep his level on sniggering but failed. "He'll never live this down!"
"I was originally planning on pulling down these pants and flashing them to the whole school but I decided this was less painfull." stated Hermione casually.
"Oh do tell." Harry said grimly and sarcasticaly.
Hermione's grin slid off quickly and faced her body while Ron Istill/I snickered at Harry's red face.
"Harry! Well, good morning!" Hermione said.
"Mornin' mate! Lovely day isn't it?" Ron followed suit. Harry glared and blushed crimson at his well, supposed-to-be best friends.
"Spit it out. WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?" Harry yelled. Instead of being frightened, Hermione kept a cool demeanor.
"Well," Hermione crossed her arms. "Firstly, you didn't even tried to do well at Arithmancy." Harry was about to instinctively protest when she stopped him with her hand. "Second, you are so insensitive when it comes to studies! Well, not so insesitive like Ron," She looked over to Ron who was now joining singing the school song mockingly with the rest of the school. "And thirdly, its your fault that we switched bodies!" she said lastly. Harry blinked, is this the same Hermione Granger that he knew? Why is she more...rebellious?
"Um, Hermione, why?" Harry asked weakly. "This is not you! Why would you do something like this to your own very best friend?" He pouted his lips and puppy eyed Hermione as to show innocence. She rolled her eyes and grinned at Harry slyly.
"People change y'know. In my case, a little revenge would satisfy me after all these years. Though I did pick up a few pointers from Draco...." She said the last statement thoughtfuly.
"But she's still the study-addict bookworm she is!" Ron added sunnily, which was quite true by the way.
The trio said no more. They just watched the crowd, or rather Draco Malfoy and the Slytherins, booming out the lyrics, "Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts" for the 30th time. Few minutes later, Professor McGonagall came out to the grounds and dispersed all the people. Though the trio could've sworn that the corners of her mouth were twitching obviously every time her eye caught sight of the tip of the pole.
"Ron?" Harry broke the silence between the three. Ron faced him with that deeply annoying grin.
"Yeah mate?"
Harry faced Ron and said firmly, "Ron, please, Avada Kedavra me now. I don't think I can live it down!" Ron pulled out his wand pointed it, taking aim.
"Sure mate! Anything to spare you a life of shame and dishonor. Avada--"
"RON! NOOO!!! DON'T YOU DARE!"
At the exact moment of Hermione's, eh, protest, the bell rang signalling the beginning of classes.
"I'll deal with you guys later." Harry angrily muttered, stepping into the cool shade of the castle.
"Where did you even get those shorts? You wouldn't even look at a pair like THOSE!" Ron said as they stepped down the stairs.
"Fred and George gave it as an april fools day present, which seemed unusually nice of them since not many people give out presents on their birthdays." Harry replied grumpily. He looked sideways at Hermione who had a calm expression on her face among all the laughing and jeering crowd.
"This means war!" He said mentally.
"Hey Potter! Cool boxers!"
"A good seeker, huh? Malfoy's better!"
"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts...."
Harry couldn't help but turn red every time a group of Slytherins kept coming back just to throw a couple of insults at Hermione. Earlier, Harry tried to explain to Hermione that she should look embarassed but they were drowning in a sea of insults and mirthful laughter and couldn't even be heard by themselves. Ron though found this highly amusing. He had to admit one thing, thank goodness that he is not in his body. If anyone found out that he had those pair of shorts way before, he'd rather wash Snape's hair (A/N: EEWWW!!!). Or maybe showing his boxers is less gross....
Hermione kept her expression neutral. As they entered the Transfiguration classroom, the whole room snickered suddenly at the sight of Hermione. But she still kept her calm expression while it was Harry who closed his eyes in exasperation. Mind if I add Ron's thoughts here? Ok thanks! He was thinking;
"Ooh, this is going to the Hogwarts history books! Maybe I'll read that version to my kids one day... "
"Silence class." Professor McGonagall stated. Immediately the class turned off though many kept glancing back at Hermione which painfully included Parvati and Lavender who were emiting giggles every five seconds.
"Pure hell torture...."
The trio took their time in walking to Snape's dungeon for Potions. Harry didn't talk for the whole time, in case he might throw up any moment. There they lined up behind the rest of the Gryffindors. As for the Slytherins, their loud hollers and guffaws bounced off the stone walls. Then the moment came. Malfoy stepped foreward, running his hand through his hair and crossing his arms which made Lavender and Parvati sigh dreamily.
"Well, well, well Potter!" Malfoy drawled loudly, ceasing all mutters. "Been looking for you! Hahaha! Cool boxers? Good Seeker? How can a good seeker play a game if there are Dementors around? Hooooo!" In response, the Slytherins all laughed like idiots even though that was an extremely lame insult.
"Hey Malfoy!" Ron called out, defending Harry before he can even pounce on Malfoy and blow his cover. "Tell me, can FERRETS catch snitches? So how can they be good seekers?" The Gryffindors not only laughed in response to Ron's reverse but because it was damn funny.
"Look who's talking, Weasley! You can't even touch the Quaffle!" Malfoy sneered.
Slytherins laugh like idiots.
"Well, the only thing you can catch Malfoy are colds." said Ron dismissively.
Malfoy glared at Ron who was laughing triumphantly. Though Ron felt that he was not yet finish with his remarks and starting to feel a bit more entertained. As Malfoy turned away while he ran his hand up his hair frustratedly, having enough, Ron said loudly, "I am not finish with you, sir 'great lover'!"
"What makes you say that he deserves the title of a 'great lover'?" Hermione asked with her eyebrows raised. Knowing him, it wasn't anything related to her.
"Haven't you ever watched him in front of a mirror?"
Gryffindors snickered when Malfoy freezed and turned around swiftly.
"I resent that Weasley!" Malfoy snapped.
"He resents that Weasley!" Hermione mocked. Ron bounded forward and fingered Malfoy's face.
"Yeah, I know I'd resent having this reflected in my mirror!" Ron quirked. Hermione just had to snigger. Malfoy huffed and tried to smooth down Ron's insult.
"He's just jealous of my good looks!" Malfoy anounced with his head up high. "Can't say that I blame him. Let's face it. Some of us have it, some of us don't." He winked rougishly at Lavender, Parvati then at Harry, who nearly blanched. Ron held his hands up to his face as though Malfoy has some sort of disease.
"I don't know what he has, but I sure hope it isn't catching!" He said. Finally, Malfoy cracked and his hands are balled into fists. He stomped towards Ron but a Hermione held him back. She did not want to see her best friend and boyfriend get into a fight.
"Now Dra--Malfoy! No violence!" Hermione said, the corners of her mouth twitching as though she was actually enjoying this. She separated a pissed off Malfoy and a really cocky Ron. She then faced the redhead, shaking her finger on his face. "Shame on you! He's sensitive as well as handsome! You shouldn't tease that way!"
"It's the only way I know!" Ron piped, shrugging his shoulders. As for Malfoy, he didn't think nor cared why Potter was defending him. All he knew was that Potter was speaking the truth and was actually smirking.
"You know, when Malfoy marries coughcoughHermionecoughcough, a lot of girls are going to be miserable!" Hermione barked, wondering how Ron will reverse this.
"Yeah?" Ron said questioningly. "You mean he's going to marry a lot of girls?"
The Gryffindors roared with mirth while most of the Slytherins looked sulky, and Harry was leaning on the wall for support. Malfoy slapped his hands over his face, however Crabbe blundered over to the front.
"I'll handle this, Malfoy!" Crabbe grunted stupidly. "I'll think of a comeback! Uuhhhh....Hey you!" Every single of the Gryffindors stared at him with eyebrows raised, anticipating his "insult".
"Shut up!"
Now the Gryffindors were all over the floor, including Parvati and Lavender. Seamus was shouting (actually gasping...) something about "lamest insult of the millenium". Malfoy's face reddened with embarassment and anger. He pushed his useless-150-pounds-of-fat bodyguard out of the way.
"I really showed them, didn't I?" Crabbe grunted with a of what he thought was smart comeback. Malfoy ordered him to stay at the back, in lack of saying anything else smart.
"That's it Weasley! You've insulted a Malfoy for the last time!" He bellowed. He made a move to bring out his wand but at last Harry had some sense to stop him from hexing Ron. Fortunately, he dropped his arm at Harry's slightest touch.
"You--you've got the brains of an idiot!" Malfoy managed to splutter out the first thing that came to his mind. Now the Slytherins laughed lamely in order to cover for him. And at that moment, Hermione stopped laughing and looked at Ron angrily who also stopped.
"Now that's not fair, Ron!" She snarled with a hint of mockingness, corners of her mouth twitching. She jerked her head at Malfoy, "Give 'em back!" Probably by now, the poor Gryffindors', poor because their cheeks are hurting, laughs are heard throughout the entire castle.
"Aw what's the use?" Malfoy grumbled as he walked to the Slytherin line and sulked like a five year old. At that very second, The grease haired git, I-I mean Snape came out of his office and sneered at the very now disordered scarlet clad students.
"Fifty points from Gryffindor!" He announced icily but it seemed that the howls were louder. Sneering he entered in to the dungeons without bothering to tell the Gryffindors off, thinking that it would be less stressfull if Longbottom wasn't there. Then again, there would be no one for him to bully.
"Ron, that was brilliant!"
"You really showed 'em!"
"Nice on, Ron!"
Ron was getting pats and congratulations on his back after Potions class. Harry mentaly noted to thank Ron greatly now that most (A/N: only most, not all yet) of his fellow Gryffindors had forgotten about his boxers and instead spreaded to the whole school on how the Slytherins lost to an insult match by just one person. Then Harry was reminded on how he was going to get back on Hermione. Next class was Charms, then Care of Magical Creatures. It was during all those times Harry thought real hard for his revenge. It was History of Magic began when it hit him. He saw his idea and knew it was going to torture her more than her Boggart form. Now all he needed was the two persons seated on front of him...
"Oh this is going to be fun!"
After the bell rang, Harry dashed out of the classroom. His "evil" idea planted on his head. Ignoring the "wait!'s" he waved his hand to the two people a few feet away from him, calling out there names.
"Hey Lavender! Parvati! I need your help!"
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Author's note:
Damn finally it's finished! So sorry if it's not as long as the last chapter. I just wanted to get this one done before you guys come and point a wand in my throat. See you sometime soon!