Love You Like a Sister:
Let Her Go:
Michelle PoV
I'd had to put on my best Irish accent when calling up the school to inform them that 'Michelle Connor won't be in today as she's coming down with a fever'. But it had paid off, which I was relieved about.
Carla didn't have to go to the extremes I did when skipping school; she just didn't show up and when they sent a letter home it was thrown straight in the bin by Sharon, along with several other bills and overdue payments.
I had dressed in my uniform and said goodbye to my parents, under the expectation that I was off to school. But I wasn't. Instead we were heading to the quarry, which is somewhere I really didn't want to risk going to when we didn't have the safety net of the boys. But I knew we wouldn't be found out there. Plus, Carla said she didn't want to drink, so I was hoping we'd just sit there talking all day.
"You don't mind doing this do you?" Carla asks me, linking her hand with mine and I shake my head, not that I had a choice anyway. We had waited behind the estate for a good half an hour before emerging, so that there wouldn't be any kids out to grass us up to the teachers.
"So, what are we going to do today?" I ask her, swinging our arms ever so slightly. She just grins at me and leads me behind the bushes towards the grassy cut through that leads towards the cliff edge. She breaks into a run, still grasping my hand and I am forced to run after her. "Slow down!" I yell, through laughter, my hair flying behind me. "Carla, I'm gonna trip up!"
"Live life on the edge will you?" She giggles. "Literally." She stops once we reach the bank and lets go of my hand to walk dangerously close to the edge. I let her go. I watch her as she stands looking out into the distance, breeze in her face. This was her safe spot, as unsafe as it was. It relaxed her, it made her feel normal.
I check my watch; ten o'clock. Although the clouds drifting past the icy blue sky could have told me that. The sun was low in the sky and I was glad I had brought my thick coat with me because the winter air was refreshing but freezing.
"You asked what we were gonna do." Carla snaps me back to reality when I realise she's walking back over to me. She picks up her bag and empties it out onto the floor. Out falls an old picnic blanket, a packet of biscuits, two sets of cheese sandwiches in plastic, a big bag of chocolate, popcorn, crisps and a bottle of lemonade.
"How did you..." I try to muster, my mouth opening a few times in confusion.
"You didn't think I really went to give Rob his keys did you?" She raises her eyebrows at me, clearly proud of herself.
"You stole all this?" I scold her, actually rather irritated that she stole items that weren't essential.
"No." She stops me. "I bought it."
"Yeah..." I nod, sarcastically.
"I did Chelle. I promise." She defends herself. "I took a tenner with me to your house, it was my book money that I was supposed to give to the school library a few months back."
"...And you spent it on this?" My face softens slightly. "How did you even fit all that in your bag."
"I have my ways." She spreads the blanket on the grass and a packet of fags falls out of it. "Ok, I stole them from Rob." She shrugs and I just smile at her, getting up off the rock I was sitting on to lie down next to her.
"Do you remember the last time we had a picnic?" I ask her, my eyes steady on her face, which was covered by her long dark hair. "It was a summer years back and we'd raided our cupboards for food, taking it down to the park."
"Yeah I remember." Carla nods, nibbling on a biscuit and turning to face me. "We weren't even teenagers yet. We took a half full bottle of ketchup from your cupboard thinking it would come in useful."
"Well I think most of it came from my cupboards." I remind her. "...That was a good day though."
"Yeah, aside from those out-of-date barbecue chicken skewers." She winces at the thought. "I don't think that hedge will ever forgive us for throwing up in it."
"Ah well... Can't please everyone." I giggle, knowing full well that we couldn't, not by a long shot. But it didn't matter to either of us, as long as we had each other.
Carla PoV
"Come on then, your turn." I grin and she holds her mouth open whilst I chuck a piece of popcorn straight into it. "Ey! That's a million, nil to me."
"Oh shut up." She bats me away. It was getting dark now, it was almost the end of November and so light faded at about four O'clock. "We should head back soon." She sighs, as if reading my mind.
"I don't want to." I shake my head and she looks at me sympathetically. I could stay here forever, in fact, I'm sure I'd be doing most people a favour by doing so. I wasn't even cold even though the air was chilly. We were sitting facing each other with the blanket draped over our crossed legs. I let out a reluctant sigh, picking a piece of popcorn up and throwing it off into the distance. I watch it, as it flies over the edge of the cliff, my eyes moving to the view to the side of us. Grassy banks, grey boulders, trees sticking out at odd angles. Further ahead you can see the very edge of Manchester; the glistening lights emitting from tall buildings. The quiet rush of cars can be heard vaguely in the silence of the quarry. I feel Michelle's hand as she reaches out to take mine, clearly aware that I was lost in thought. But she didn't interrupt me. Instead, I kick the blanket off and turn to lie down next to her, she follows me and we both gaze up at the stars that were beginning to form in the darkening sky.
We lie there in silence, not saying a word. Not because we didn't want to but because we didn't have to. I watch how they faintly twinkle, as if greeting me, greeting the night as it falls upon us. After what feels like forever, I turn my head to look at Michelle, who does the same, causing our noses to virtually touch. It didn't feel uncomfortable being this close to one another, in fact it was the complete opposite, both physically and emotionally. She gently brushes a lock of hair out of my face and I watch her eyes as she does so. She was so calm, so soft, so caring. She had never given up on me... That was something no one had ever done.
"Don't you wish we could never go back?" I whisper and she meets her eyes with mine.
"You know I do." She responds, searching my face for any traces of pain she could try and erase. I watch as her eyes dart from facial feature to facial feature, taking everything in as if it was the last time she would see me. I prayed it wouldn't be, because sometimes when I was with her I felt I had to cherish every moment. I worried as much as her that anything could happen to me in my current state of mind. I was broken, but she made me feel whole again. She knew every single scar, every single imperfection on my body, but she considered them as parts of me. She had put up with me throughout all the death wishes, suicidal thoughts, moments I would just completely break down in front of her. It scared the life out of her inside, but she still never walked away; for reasons beyond my imagination because Michelle Connor could have the world, but somehow she chose me. She chose me and now she was staring straight at me, as if she never wanted anything else.
We knew every part of one another. She knew I would flinch when she touched my thigh because I had scars there. But I would still let her. I knew she would panic when I touched her neck because she used to pull her necklace too tight when things would get tough. She knew that I had to sleep on the right side of the bed because my mam told me that I would be cursed if I slept on the left. I knew that when she woke up in the night with nightmares, that I shouldn't say anything, just hold her as she falls back to sleep. She knew that when I became really low, the only food I could eat was salt and vinegar crisps and I knew that when she became extremely anxious, she had to listen to the lullaby that her dad had sang to her when she was a baby. We both knew that we took these weaknesses as strengths. It made us who we were and we loved each other for it.
I was never going to give that up. Never. Never, ever, would I let her go.