S: DarkDancer07 – Yes, to Hell with the riots! MISTAKES? You know, Ames, we're not perfect! When I said only character with a British accent, I meant Lion! And you have to admit, his accent stood out amongst all the rest! As for the feather duster – yes, she might be another character with a French accent but it doesn't excuse only TWO characters having French accents in a film that's fucking SET IN France! But we're glad you enjoyed the chapter, thank you.
Me: Aleera-mistressofallevil – Thank you very much! Here is Ursula! We hope you enjoy it!
S: AngelOfDarkness1959 – Thank you, your concern means a lot to us both. Trust me, both Hol and I have been infuriated at how the "justice system" has been handling these rioters! It's partly thanks to their soft-handed approach that the police are so limited when it comes to dealing with them. Things seem to have cooled down, but there's still worry about what might happen. Our Prime Minister, David Cameron, seems to be taking it very seriously, but I think it's more to do with the fact that he wants to go back to his holiday. Thanks for your review, here is Ursula!
Me: Titanlvr4evr – We shall certainly get to Mother Gothel eventually, and we'll have fun with that one! We hope you enjoy Ursula!
S: Ursula, Ursula...what could we say about Ursula?
Me:...
S: HEY! I'm talking to you!
Me:...
S: OI! DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!
Me: The care bears are here! Let's give them a cheer!
S: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! That's an awful movie! It isn't even Disney!
Me: I know! That's your punishment for making me watch that fucking Nostalgia Critic review last night! Wait, not last night! At two o'clock this fucking morning! It was fine until they brought that bloody rapping dog into it!
S: Rapping dog...in an animated musical of the Titanic. Two things you should never see together. And we haven't even got to the OTHER Titanic animated movie. (We're not kidding; these actually DO exist!)
Me: Might we add they have happy endings? Namely a Cinderella happy-ever-after, Mexican mice and the first one rips Disney off BIG time!
S: And let's not forget the Octopus who saves the day in the second animated Titanic movie! I don't know which one was more offensive; the first one where the ship sinks, people die but the main characters have a happy ending, get married and forget about it all. Or the second one where the titanic sinking is a plot between a HUMAN villain and evil talking sharks, no less! Everyone comes back to life in the end!
Me: What kind of moron made those?
S: That's the equivalent of making a movie set in the holocaust of the Second World War where only instead of it being a horrible, tragic event where millions of people suffered, we get talking cats and dogs getting involved and at the end, all those who died are just brushed away so the main characters can be happy! Screw you Poles, Jews, and all the others persecuted! We only care about the main characters and happy endings!
Me: BULLSHIT!
S: Anyway...answer my question, bitch! What do you say about URSULA?
Me: Oh right! Fat, ugly sea witch who looks like a drag queen, dresses like a stripper, a voice that goes right through your head, spotty, sadistic, power hungry, manipulative, selfish, reminds me somewhat of Medusa...
S: We GET IT! She's a despicable human being! I never thought there was a day I had to shut YOU up!
Me: Did you just say HUMAN being?
S: Hey, for a moment in the film, she WAS a human being!
Me: I think you'll find her true form, though, was that of an OCTOPUS SEA WITCH!
S:...FUCK YOU!
Here lies Ursula. (Vanessa)
Born... we don't know, but by the look of her, centuries ago!
Died...Very painfully! (Seriously, she gets impaled and electrocuted)
.Was it really worth it?
.You were always second best, deal with it!
.The whole time, you could turn into a beautiful woman and you never did?
.You're with your babies now!
S: So... should we consider it cannon that she's actually King Trion's banished sister?
Me: Well it wouldn't be the first time that a royal tried to kill a relative out of jealousy and a desire for power. Evil Queen from Snow White, much?
S: Then there's Hades and, of course, poor, Hell bound Scar. Although, to be fair, I think Hades and Ursula must have some sympathy.
Me: Do they?
S: Yes! Look at King Triton and Zeus! King Triton is a bossy, controlling killjoy who has anger issues. Maybe if he'd raised Ariel right, instead of banning music or stifling his daughter's fun, she wouldn't have become so bored with life as a mermaid and put all her hopes on a human she just met! As for Zeus, well do I even need to explain this one? He jokes around all the time, is insensitive to the fact that his brother, Hades, is stuck in a crappy, dead end job for eternity while he lives the good life as the top dog. I won't even get into how he really is in Greek Mythology! Hades, of all the Greek Gods, is the only one who was a faithful husband and didn't abuse his power!
Me: Well yes, Disney has a tendency to make everything rather one sided. And, S, I doubt they could have paid attention to the myths in Hercules case. Wasn't Zeus a shameless, cheat who screwed any mortal woman that walked while Hera, his wife, was also his sister and a psychotic bunny boiler? Not exactly what you'd call ideal parents.
S: True. Of course I just find it hard to hate Hades. Ursula on the other hand... Well let's just say her only redeeming trait was that she loved her two pet eels, Flotsam and Jetsam!
Me: True. Anyway, time for the song!
S: Right!
It has to be said, she was a vile creature.
They all meant it when they called her a fat slag.
Humongous in body weight,
And filled with poisonous hate,
This evil cow looked like a man in drag.
No shit!
But good news, she did die at the end of the film.
She tried to kill Eric and was impaled.
And now, everyone, laugh and cheer,
for she's now filled with fear,
Her soul trapped in Hell, because she failed.
Tough shit, bitch.
What a disgusting tramp!
So cruel, so sly.
She wasted her entire life,
Just planning to get revenge,
And all for nothing?
Yes, bull's eye!
That, evil, disgusting tramp!
Have fun,
Down there!
And when she snaps and starts screaming,
Begging, "have mercy on me!"
I will just sneer,
"I don't care!"
S: ARGH! That music from The Shining is creeping me the fuck out! Hollie, remind me why we're watching it in the afternoon?
Me: Because it's a fucking good film, that's why!
S: Oh yeah! Yeah! A psychotic Jack Nicholson trying to kill his family in an old and fucking creepy hotel is really GREAT!
Me: It is, isn't it? In fact, I remember you saying so yourself!
S: Look I like the film as much as you do! I like everything by Stephen King! But the music is creepy and you keep trying to scare me at random moments!
Me: HA HA HA HA! You should talk with Amy, she get the very same treatment!
S: You're an evil person and I HATE YOU!
Me: Aww, thanks my little bon-bon! I hate you too!
S: Quote Sarousch to me one more time and I will stab you in the face!
Me: OK, my little trinket. ;)
S:... Excuse me. I need to just get something.
Me: Well that's all for today folks! Next is either Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty or the Evil Queen from Snow White. Get voting!
S: Hey, Hollie! I have an axe here with your name on it! Heeeeeeere's S! :D