He stayed all the way through her pregnancy, like he had promised.
They got to experience together a journey they were trying to hitch a ride for such a long time. He wasn't able to bring her ice cream in the middle of the night, or a piece of cheesecake every once in a while, though his mother had that one covered. He wasn't able to stop her from eating pickles at 3 am either.
He was able to tell her how beautiful she looks, though. He always thought that's one of the things you're supposed to say to pregnant women to make them feel better, but he never thought it might actually be true. During those nine months she was more beautiful than ever - he had a feeling like he's seeing her for the first time, like she's that girl from a club he convinced to have a piece of cheesecake with a complete stranger.
He got to give her a million little kisses, and few of the more serious ones. He got to lay his hands on her stomach and feel his son move for the first time. He was there when she was moody and unhappy to soothe her down, and he was there when she was happy and smiling and making jokes.
By the end of her pregnancy she got irritated, she just wanted the baby to come out, until she remembered that meant Stefan leaving. Then she was ready to keep it in for a little while longer. She always complained she looks like a freaking ship, to which he would reply, "Yeah, but you carry the most important passenger in the world inside."
The baby was born two days before her due date, a boy with dark eyes, which she read all the babies have when they're born, and fair hair. They named him Sam, without any special reason, they just both really liked the name. Everyone think a name has to have some sort of a meaning. It doesn't, he will give it a meaning through his life. He will define his name, not the other way around. If she named him Stefan to honor her husband, everyone would always remember her late husband, and both her and Stefan were afraid that's all he's going to be to people and neither of them wanted him to carry such weight on his shoulders.
Her parents flew in, as well as her brother, when they got the news. His parents were there, and in his last moments of sanity his father cried. "See you soon, old man," Stefan thought when he saw his father crying over his grandson in Elena's arms. His mother cried too, but then again, his mother always cried. Even Damon came which surprised him greatly, and so did his fiance, a woman he never got to meet. All of their friends were there as well. Caroline, Rebekah, Matt, Nik. Rebekah, his childhood friend, had a distant look in her eyes. Maybe because she had seen his baby pictures and now the same baby is sleeping in front of her. But then again, don't all the babies look the same?
As he watched his family and friends gather around his wife and his son, he felt life slipping away from him. He felt he doesn't belong there, among the living. They can't see him, or talk to him, or understand him. Life is for the living, and he no longer lives, at least not in the traditional sense of words. But he did not feel sadness or sharp pain in his chest. He felt at peace.
He was leaving behind so many people, so many things, but isn't that the point? He has something to leave behind, as a proof he existed. People will keep his pictures in their photo albums, and he will live in them. He will also live in Rebekah's childhood memories and in the bond every mother has with her child. He will live in the love Elena feels for him, and a part of him will live in his son.
He's dead, but before he died, he lived. And oh, how did he live.
It took few days for Elena to come back home from the hospital. She placed Sammy, how everyone started calling him already, in the rocking crib Stefan and her picked from the catalog. She placed the rocking crib in the living room, while his actual crib was in his bedroom, but she wasn't ready to leave him here alone just yet. She sat on the edge of the couch and slowly rocked her son.
"Elena," she hears a faint voice behind herself.
She turns her head around and notices Stefan walking towards her, weak and pale, and something clenches inside of her chest. Maybe her heart, ready to break into million pieces.
He crouches before her and takes her free hand, the one that's not rocking the crib, and places it in his. "It's time," his voice is already distant, faint, like it's hard for him to speak.
"Time for you to leave me," she whispers silently with a pang of pain in her voice. She's been preparing herself for this day for quite some time. How much can you prepare for the love of your life to leave you forever?
His look falls from hers, and his head sags on his neck, and the next time he raises his head she notices tears in the corners of his eyes.
"Listen to me," he says weekly, and she can feel them pulling him away from her already. She wants to kick and scream and curse, but she knows that will do no good. "It's okay to fall in love again," he says.
"No," she shakes her head stubbornly, not wanting to hear any of it.
"Yes," he corrects her, "I'm not saying you have to, or that you will, I'm saying you have to give yourself a chance. You have to live your life, for yourself, and if you can't do that live it for me, and live it for him," he looks at his son with the corner of his eye, and it hurts him, looking at what he's leaving behind. "I don't want you to push it or fake it or make yourself do it for the sake of doing it, you don't even have to search for it, but if it finds you, promise me you won't fight it."
"How am I supposed to be with anyone else after I was with you?" she asks painfully, "How am I supposed to love someone else after I loved you? After you, no one will ever be enough. You ruined me Stefan, and I don't regret being ruined," she brings their joined hands in the air and kisses the top of his. He sighs. "But I promise to live my life fully, as full as I can, simply because I'm not living it just for me anymore," she looks at their son and smiles weekly, so weekly that it seems like someone forcefully painted a smile on her face.
"I love you so much," he tells her, and she shifts her look back to him, "I never thought it's possible to love someone as much as I love you, but here I am, even in death, maybe more so now, realizing not even death without you is worth it, let alone life. I have no idea how I managed so many years without you, and I have no idea how I will do it now."
She leans her head down and their foreheads touch, and for few minutes they stay like that.
"I think they're waiting for me," he says after few moments of silence, "It's getting harder for me to be here, to hold on," he says like someone is taking his breath away.
"Not yet," she begs, breathing into his face, "Please not yet. Just a little more time," her fingers cling onto his shirt, not letting him go.
"We got a lot more time than we were supposed to. Think about it, how many people get to do this, to say goodbye? How many people get a chance for one more hug or a kiss or a simple word. We got a lot more."
She whimpers. "I love you infinitely."
He manages to smile as she gently presses her lips against his, "I love you infinitely more."
He shifts his attention from her to their son. "Hey Sammy," he touches the gentle skin of his son's hand, "It's your turn now, buddy. Take good care of mommy for me, okay?" he keeps silent for a while, but the baby doesn't even make a sound, "Right," he presses his lips against his forehead.
He sighs and gets up on his feet, and when he moves to leave, Elena calls out for him, "Stefan?" he turns around, "Will you wait for me?"
He smiles gently at her. "By the time you get there, I'll build you a castle out of clouds."
And as he says those words, he disappears. The room seems a lot more empty without him.
For the first time after almost a year tears fall down her face. One after another, they free themselves from her eyes and fall down her cheeks, and she feels relief.
She cries for hours, even though to her it seems like forever, and she finally gets to cry because she had let him go.
Because she said goodbye.
AN: So, I just wanted you to know that this is the last chapter, there's only epilogue left.