It feels a little like every week Sanji finds something else that he misses about being alive. Right now that thing is alcohol. He'd tried some before in private of course, but it'd ended just as badly as him trying to drink more than the tiniest sip of water had. He'd drunk it and seen it again almost immediately.
The crew was having a beach party. It's a fair assessment of their crew to say that they have a party whenever they can, they love fun and drinking together, it's part of being on a crew and having a good time. When Sanji was a boy though Zeff used to tell him that pirates partied so much harder than regular people because they knew better than anyone that each time you raised a glass in celebration with a man could well be the last time that you did it. Knowing that any day could be their last, be it at the hands of their enemies, to the merciless Grand Line or, in Sanji's case, a vampire bite meant that parties were held often and in full force. If any party was going to be their last one then it was going to be a goddamn great one. Even Nami wouldn't complain about having to pay for restocking after a party, she knows all too well how quickly a life can be stolen.
Even so, watching his nakama drinking and laughing and having a good time is hard. Sure he's laughing along with them and hearing Usopp's outrageous stories, but not being able to eat or drink anything sucks. He always had a pretty decent alcohol tolerance, though nothing compared to the impossible levels of immunity that Nami and Zoro have. Even so he enjoyed getting drunk in the past, he Luffy and Usopp always had a great time. They'd drink and dance and sing and have a great time. Usually he'd break off from the group to pick a fight with Zoro just because he could, though his arguments whilst drunk weren't quite as on point as they were sober.
He laughs as Usopp drunkenly elaborates on a story about how he learnt to shoot with a bow and arrow but was too good that for the sake of the world he threw his bow in the ocean and gave it up. He grins at the other man whilst Usopp goes on a more than tipsy aside about why the bow was so special, something to do with wood from a tree blessed by faeries. Out of habit Sanji reaches down to the sand by his foot which is right where he'd usually put his glass if they were drinking together on the beach, but of course he doesn't have one there.
He leaves Usopp to his story and shambles over to Zoro to complain, if anyone will appreciate his pain at not being able to drink then it'll be the moss brain. The man drinks like it's going out of style. Not that he has a problem of course but Zoro doesn't have a lot of luxuries or frivolities in his life, drinking is one of the few, so Sanji doesn't really begrudge him it. Not unless it's fodder for an argument and the kind of thing that he can kick Zoro out of his kitchen for because Sanji will take any excuse for that.
"I can't drink." Sanji whines petulantly. Dropping down onto the sand by Zoro's feet and leaning his back against the large driftwood log that's functioning as Zoro's seat right now.
"More for me though." Zoro says with absolutely no compassion.
"I hate you." Sanji scowls up at him.
"Uh-huh." Zoro grins with a hint of lecherousness to it, an expression that Sanji isn't used to seeing on the other man and actually startles some laughter out of him to see it. Sanji looks up at the idiot, his idiot perhaps, and notices something. Zoro looks a little red on his cheeks and he looks more relaxed than usual.
"Holy shit are you actually drunk?" Sanji balks in shock.
"No, of course not." Zoro says, sounding almost offended.
"If you think I can't sober up like that if I needed to then-" Zoro says sharply, clearly taking offense.
"No, I'm not implying that you're wasted, of course you can fight. But you're not sober right now. You're actually letting yourself be not sober." Sanji points out, still in awe of the fact. Zoro has this freakish ability, one amongst many of Zoro's freakish skills, to not be drunk unless he actually chooses to be.
"Yeah, well… there's no one around for miles, so." Zoro shrugs, glaring off at the dark horizon just in case someone might be sneaking up on them. Not that anyone would be able to do. Zoro's got some of the keenest senses for trouble going and Sanji's are just as good. Robin has got a sixth sense for things going wrong and more than enough experience in sneaking up on people to know if someone's doing it to her. Between all of that and Sanji's newfound super hearing, well, they're safe as can be.
"You know, I ought to drink you seeing as I'm so cruelly deprived of drinking like the rest of you. I'm feeling left out, it's so sad." Sanji pouts, giving Zoro big sad eyes that make the swordsman laugh so loud that he snorts and Sanji briefly wonders why he's attracted to this lunk head in the slightest.
"Don't laugh at me asshole, you'd complain if you couldn't drink too." Sanji snipes back grumpily.
"How can you complain that you've got nothing to drink when you have so much… whine?" Zoro says, his grin so wide it's threatening to cut his head in half and Zoro is so pleased at his shitty pun that he looks like he could die from it. Zoro's not usually the quick witted one so being able to make a joke like that off of the cuff is apparently deeply satisfying to the moron. What's worse is that Zoro is laughing at his own joke like it's the funniest thing that he's ever heard.
Sanji scowls up at Zoro from the floor and when Zoro doesn't stop laughing he leans over and bites the space just above Zoro's knee, his right most fang sinking in just a few millimetres below the skin. It's just enough to cause a bead of blood to well up and out of spite Sanji licks it up.
He jolts in surprise at the taste of Zoro. It's so different to normal it's almost exactly like…
"Holy shit marimo, you taste of alcohol!" Sanji exclaims, jerking to his knees and staring wide eyed at the other man.
"Of course… when you get drunk it's because there's a high alcohol level in… your… blood.." Sanji says slowly, the realisation dawning on him like a sunrise.
Zoro grunts thoughtfully, or at least as thoughtful as a grunt can ever be. But Zoro has a wide range of grunts and Sanji has been forced to learn many of them. The marimo takes a long swig of his alcohol, it's neat rum because the man is inhuman and also Nami doesn't like rum so she's happier for him to drain their stock of that. Sanji is a little less so because there are a few dishes and marinades that he can make with rum but it's not vital.
"So, if I let myself get drunk…" Zoro says slowly and takes another sip, his dark eyes watching Sanji.
"It'd be deeply unfair, I'd kick you and you'd probably taste more like that bottle of rum than your normal Zoro taste." Sanji responds snippily. Like he needs Zoro to rub in Sanji's inability to drink anything that isn't, well, isn't Zoro.
"Would my blood make you sick?" the swordsman asks keenly, getting at something but Sanji isn't quite sure what.
"What? Drinking your blood when you've had a lot to drink? I don't think so. I mean the alcohol has been processed to be in your blood by that point I suppose, but it's not like this has a lot of logic to it. Why are you asking?" He frowns.
"I'm asking you if you want a drink." Zoro grins at him, leaning into Sanji's space and making the redness in his cheeks even more apparent.
"Yeah but I can't-" Sanji starts to say but then clocks the way that Zoro tilts his neck and Sanji cottons on. Zoro is offering to let him get drunk, or something close by drinking from him. But… would Zoro even be able to get enough alcohol into his blood to do that without dying of alcohol poisoning? For all that Sanji jokes that Zoro is inhuman he is in fact limited by at least some of his biology, humans can't have their blood alcohol be too high without dying. And the crew already has enough dead members to it, they don't need an ex-marimo too.
"I'm not sure that will work." Sanji says carefully.
"That sounds like a challenge to me. Give me fifteen minutes and three more bottles of rum!" Zoro declares loudly and walks over to the fire and plucks the bottles out of their resting place in a little soft sand pit that the crew had dug to keep their drink bottles upright and somewhat cool. Though lighting a fire right near them sort of defeated that purpose but it's too late now.
Nami watches as Zoro stalks past with a determined grin on his face and then to Sanji's somewhat concerned expression and then finally to the alcohol in his hands. She opens her mouth as if to say something but then closes it again, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. That's most likely a smart call, like everything Nami does.
Zoro drains the first bottle in one long mouthful without seeming to breathe or indeed swallow, it's as if he just pours it straight down his throat into his stomach and bypasses everything else on the way. The second and the third follow in much the same way and within one minute Zoro has drunk all three.
The swordsman wipes his mouth on the back of his arm and belches loudly in a way that makes Sanji wonder how the hell he finds the neandertal attractive. Zoro then leans back against the driftwood log and grins up at the stars like he's done something impressive. Impressively stupid is all the credit that Sanji will give him for that move.
"What do you think is even going to happen if I drink your blood now?" Sanji asks flatly.
"Well, either this gets you drunk which will be great for you and funny for me." Zoro says, checking one finger off in what is evidently going to be a list.
"Or it makes you throw up, and that's also pretty funny." Zoro continues checking of finger number two.
"I actually hate you." Sanji says with a glare that doesn't even register with Zoro.
"Or three nothing happens but you drink my blood and then I drink more booze and it's easier to be drunk which I don't really do, so it'll be fun too. Then I'll go dance with Usopp and Luffy." Zoro says smartly. Sanji raises an eyebrow at him, but he's not sure that Zoro can tell with Sanji's hair in his face like that, but he hopes that he knows.
"Sometimes you're pretty smart marimo." Sanji says slowly.
"Thank you." Zoro beams, the alcohol perhaps kicking in a little.
"Which kind of makes the moments when you're brain fryingly dumb somehow worse." Sanji continues.
"Keep that up and I won't let you bite me." the other man says tauntingly. Sanji rubs his hands on his face and groans in frustration.
"I hadn't been planning on biting you before you came up with this dumb plan. I actually wanted to just come over here and…" Sanji trails off, unsure as to what it was exactly that he came over for. Sure he wanted to commiserate his lack of booze with someone he who would sympathise but he'd intended on staying longer than that.
"Flirt with me?" Zoro asks with a devious smile and in a tone of voice that Sanji is pretty sure that before he died would have sent a bunch of his blood heading south. As it is it just makes Sanji… intrigued would be the best word.
Sanji tilts his head and feels Zoro out mentally. Everything feels kind of wobbly and fuzzy but even so Sanji can get the distinct feel of wanting, of almost childish impatience like grabby hands. Zoro's the one trying to flirt with him. Badly, but still.
Sanji smiles in a way that is probably far too fond for him to admit and he stands up. He holds a hand out and pulls a slightly confused looking Zoro to his feet.
"Come on." Sanji says quietly and tugs Zoro in the opposite direction from the crew on the beach. Zoro takes a moment or two before his face lights up with an excited expression and he stumbles along, nearly tripping up on the log as he does so. Sanji lets go of Zoro and the marimo follows him, swaying slightly, his path weaving a little too and fro. He is actually drunk.
Sanji doesn't think that he's ever seen Zoro drunk. He's seen the man tipsy a few times, usually at parties after a big battle but never actually drunk. Even though his heart hasn't beat for quite a long time Sanji feels a flutter of pride in him at the idea that Zoro trusts him that much. It's not that Zoro trusts Sanji not to turn on him, they all passed that mark of trust forever ago. Zoro probably doesn't have any expectation that Sanji will refrain from mocking him, and he'd be right to think that because Sanji absolutely will always mock Zoro. But Zoro never gets drunk because he wants to always be ready for a fight. He trusts that Sanji would sense danger coming if there was any and that he'd be able to handle it alone or with a very incapacitated Zoro. That's… actually touching.
"You are stupidly drunk, though most people would be dead from how much you just drank in one go so I'm not that surprised." Sanji remarks, looking at Zoro's uncoordinated walk. Zoro seems to notice and with a look of concentration he stops weaving.
"I'm not. You're stupid… your face is stupid and I want to fuck it." Zoro retorts. Sanji stops and stares at Zoro for a second or two and Zoro looks dumbly back at him.
"I… uh. I didn't say nothing." Zoro amends awkwardly.
"No, this is interesting. What happened to your not sticking things you don't want to risk losing into my mouth policy?" Sanji asks in amusement.
"Yeah but… you're hot." the swordsman says with a frown and stumbles on. Sanji mind reels and it takes him a moment or two to physically catch up with Zoro.
"You are a very weird drunk. You really just say anything that you think, don't you?" he asks.
"Not anything. Now c'mon and bite me already. I want it and you wanna be drunk too. Hah, drunk." Zoro snickers to himself in amusement and tugs Sanji backwards towards some palm trees.
In Zoro's drunken state Sanji half expects the other man to just grab him and smush Sanji's face right up against his neck until he bites him but instead Zoro's back thunks against the nearest tree and he pulls Sanji close to him for a kiss. It's not as sloppy and uncoordinated as Sanji might have expected given Zoro's state, but it seems that drunk or otherwise when Zoro wants to do something he does it well.
He doesn't complain, in fact he more than enjoys crowding Zoro against the trunk of the tree and kissing him senseless. He wonders if it bothers Zoro that he doesn't react the way that Zoro's reacting. With Zoro there's little breathy gasps and the way that he shudders happily when Sanji's teeth come too close to his lips or the little whines when he teases him just so. Before he can get too far down that train of thought enough to psych himself out Zoro tugs Sanji back a little and then tilts his head to the side. Sanji doesn't even need to ask if Zoro means it, he knows that the other man wants him to do this, in general he always seems to want that but Zoro had done this whole thing just for that end. Besides if Zoro changes his mind Sanji will feel it well before Zoro thinks to say anything.
When he does sink his teeth into Zoro the taste is obviously different. The little lick he'd got from Zoro's leg earlier was just the start. There's that usual Zoro taste underneath everything but it feels kind of warped somehow. The thing that hits him most is the alcoholic flavour. Instead of tasting like Zoro the other man tastes like some kind of odd Zoro cocktail. He takes a few leisurely swallows from Zoro before licking his wound closed for a second. He intends to go back but he wants to say something and he'd rather do that without Zoro's circulatory system deciding to redistribute his blood all over everything nearby.
"Oh yeah, you certainly taste drunk." Sanji comments with a grin.
"Ok, great, keep goin'." Zoro pants, his eyes open just a crack as he leans there with his head still tilted to the side.
"You're getting off on this aren't you?" Sanji asks wryly.
"Y'think?" Zoro snorts and rolls his hips against Sanji's. He's not completely hard, but he's certainly getting there.
"Well, okay then." Sanji remarks, raising his eyebrows and leaning in to bite Zoro again. He hears a low and pleased hiss of 'yesss' from Zoro as his teeth go right through where they were before. This time he really does feel Zoro's hips buck against him and Sanji can't help but let his hands drift. What can he say, the accusation against him of him being a pervert isn't all lies.
He runs one hand over Zoro's hip, feeling that really nice V of muscle that leads downwards. It's easier to do it on one side than the other because of Zoro's swords being in the way, but Sanji doesn't mind at all. The next time that he swallows the alcohol in Zoro's system really starts to hit him. Maybe it's because Sanji doesn't have a working circulatory system to distribute alcohol into or because it's not processed in the same way or perhaps he's just getting the feel of being drunk off of Zoro but he rapidly starts to feel less and less sober.
He rests more of his weight on Zoro, noting that the swordsman is a hell of a lot harder than he was before. The fact that Sanji has his hand on a nice smooth pectoral under Zoro's shirt probably doesn't hurt either. Maybe it's the effects of the alcohol or the fact that Sanji can both taste and mentally feel just how much Zoro wants this, both him biting Zoro and anything else Sanji will give him, but his vision of the world narrows down rapidly just to Zoro and what makes Zoro feel good. It's amazing, he gets instant feedback to whatever he does through both channels, as well as Zoro's own vocalisations.
Before too long Sanji hazily pulls himself free of Zoro's neck and laps at his skin, thinking gleefully about just how good he's going to make Zoro feel and just how hard he's going to kiss him in a moment. It takes him a few seconds to connect the moan that wrenches its way out of Zoro's throat when he does it and the thought he had when he licked the other man.
Zoro's hands are exploring just as much as Sanji's. There's a hand tightly gripping Sanji's butt and another trying to work its way up inside Sanji's shirt, for all that the slightly drunk multitasking Zoro is able to. Now that Zoro doesn't have to have his head tilted to the side to allow Sanji to drink he's able to move properly. He's taken advantage of that by taking a turn to bite Sanji's own neck. There's a small flutter of concern about that, if Zoro was to get his blood in his mouth then he would probably die but… it feels really good. For all that Zoro's got a strong jaw from his three sword style he's surprisingly gentle when he wants to be, which contrasts amazingly to when he wants to be rougher.
Sanji stops thinking quite so much and just enjoys the pleasant haze of him and Zoro making out and getting their hands all over each other. Zoro doesn't suddenly panic about Sanji being dead and he doesn't suddenly bite through Sanji's skin and die. Everything's just… nice. It's all good in a hazy sort of way. Sanji wouldn't say that he feels drunk, not really, he just… feels good and maybe a little fuzzy. He's not really thinking about what he does before he does it, he's going with wherever the mood takes him.
Right now the mood has taken his hand into Zoro's boxers.
"Uhn, yes, do that." Zoro groans, his head falling back against the trunk of the tree with a decidedly solid thunk.
Sanji doesn't want to refuse a request like that so he lets his fingers head south. He forgets sometimes just how much warmer than him Zoro is because right now with his hand around Zoro's dick the other man feels furnace hot. He wonders idly as he slowly moves his hand and watches Zoro if the temperature feels uncomfortable for the other man, but Zoro doesn't seem to be bothered by anything right now. Besides, some people like the contrast of hot and cold don't they? Either way, Zoro doesn't seem to be complaining. If anything the way that his head is tilted back exposing his long throat so much that Sanji can almost see the sounds coming from it shows that he's very much enjoying it. It's a mess of gasps and groans with speech littered through it that's more pleased sounding cursing than it is in any way instructional.
He leans in and just scratches Zoro's jaw with a fang, just enough to get a little bead of blood from him, less than the man might do from shaving. Sanji licks it up and everything crashes into Sanji with the weight of a warship. There's the desperate claw of yes, yes, yes, move- please- need, oh god, that hits him but also what must be a wave of hormones that all but punches Sanji in the face. Sanji's own hips jerk out of reflex and a needy shudder runs up and down Sanji's spine and lighting up his nervous system with an echo of everything Zoro feels.
He moves his hand faster and presses himself as close to Zoro's body as he can whilst still being able to jerk his hand in rhythm. It's not just that he can feel how much Zoro likes this, but he can smell the other man too. The salt from the sweat on his skin where Zoro is flushed and excited, but he can also sense what must be pheromones of some kind coming off of him. Whatever it is, it's good.
Sanji isn't sure if he physically feels the result of Zoro climaxing or if it's the way that Zoro shouts out or even the slam of emotional fireworks from the other man that hits Sanji first. Either way they all mix together in a beautiful mess that has Sanji unsteady on his own feet and fogged up in a happy haze.
When Zoro stops gasping so hard he leans in and starts kissing Sanji fervently, his own hands moving to Sanji's belt buckle. Sanji winces and stops him, that's not going to work for so many reasons. But actually, he almost okay with that.
"I'm good." He says a little breathlessly, his hand on Zoro's wrist.
"But I want to-" Zoro starts to protest, leaning back to look at him with pleading eyes. Zoro just wants to make sure that he feels good too. Sanji doesn't know what Zoro had planned because they both know that he doesn't get hard anymore, unless Zoro has forgotten that after all of the alcohol. But though Zoro definitely is drunk he's not by any means wasted. Then again Zoro had pointed out that Sanji's nerves still work, though goodness knows how, so perhaps he was planning on exploring just how well they work.
"No, really, I'm great." Sanji smiles a dazed and fanged smile at Zoro.
"Wait… you can feel what I feel, right? Did you come?" Zoro asks with wide eyes.
Sanji actually has to think about that for a second, his system runs differently now and it has been a while but…
"No, but really I'm good. That was pretty amazing." Sanji says happily. Interestingly enough he doesn't feel like Zoro's left him hanging or anything, it's not as if Zoro had been getting him off and then just stopped close to the end, it was simply pleasurable. Interesting.
"Come on, I want to see this promised drunken dancing." Sanji says before Zoro can start offering to try to get him off again. It was fun and he doesn't want to get either of them frustrated by trying for more.
Within ten minutes Zoro has his arms around Usopp and Luffy both with all three of them singing with outrageous enthusiasm and volume and dancing and kicking with zero coordination. Though his body remains the same room temperature it's been since he's died Sanji's pretty sure that his heart is warm with contentment right now.