Chapter 10: An Old Enemy... Again

They pattered down the stairs and came face to face with Bootstrap, who had let himself out of the cage with one of the keys that the Sues had dropped as they were crushed by the cannon. Will and Bootstrap grinned at each other.

"William! I thought I'd never see you again!" Bootstrap said. "This fanfiction... it's awful... and there's no way out... no way out at all!"

"There must be." Will reasoned.

"Tia'll know." Jack suddenly said. "Tia Dalma. If there's a way out, then she will know it. I know she'll know it."

"But... where could she be?" Bootstrap asked. "She could be anywhere, in every single pairing apart from TiaxDavy, probably, which is the only one that actually works, dammit!"

"Oh god... you're right, it's hopeless!" Jack cried, sliding to the floor.

"He got hit by an Angst Fairy." Will hissed to his father. Bootstrap pulled a sympathetic face. "But I think he's right, Tia Dalma, she'll know."

"But how will we...?" Before Bootstrap could continue, they all got a familiar feeling. Well... not all of them... Jack blinked, and then Bootstrap and Will were gone. He folded his arms and kicked over a nearby crate, frowning.

----------

Will and Bootstrap were sent spinning through the weird world of xXoCeaNRoMaNCeLoVeXx, flitting from scene to scene, some of which were disturbing, some of which were boring, but all of which had terrible description and no plot whatsoever. Then – smack! They landed somewhere dark. They squinted, trying to get used to the darkness.

"Hey, we're in that cave! You know, the one in COTBP, where the cursed crew take Elizabeth to put her blood on their Aztec gold." Will said.

"Oh... yeah." Bootstrap said. He stood up, only to be knocked down by someone running past in the opposite direction, and they were both sent sprawling across the rocky ground. Will looked through the darkness.

"Beckett?! Why did you leave me with an angsting Jack earlier?" Will demanded.

"Oh I'm fine thanks Will, yes I'm glad to see you too, I hope you're well, oh good, yes I know it's terrible being stuck in this fanfiction, but you're right, team work will get us through this." Beckett said, more then a tiny hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Are you... talking to yourself?" Will asked, cautiously.

"No, Will," Beckett sighed, "I'm just thinking of a conversation that should have been taking place right now, if only you were a little more courteous."

"Shut up." Will said. "What's happening?"

"There's a bloodbath going on in there," Beckett said, a little nervously, nodding towards the way he'd been running form – Will could see the glint of gold even from here. "Sues – hundreds of them! And they have... well, never mind, can we get out of here?" Beckett looked a little edgy as he finished his sentence.

"They have what?" Will insisted, glaring at Beckett.

"Um... well nothing really... just, you know... emfflffen..." He mumbled something at the end, and then snapped, "Now let's go!"

"They have what?" Will was getting a little annoyed now. Then he heard a voice screaming, a scream that he recognized. He turned towards the sound. "Elizabeth!"

"We've got to go save her." Bill said, who'd been quiet until now. He wasn't much of a talkative type, plus he may have still been in shock from all of those Sues cornering him in that cage.

"No we don't!" Beckett leapt to his feet, and dusted himself down. "I'm out of here! Let's go!"

"You weren't going to tell me!" Will glared at Beckett, for about the fifth time in the last few minutes. "You were going to let the Sues get her! You filthy, unfeeling, double-crossing, snotty-!"

"There are hundreds of Sues in there!" Beckett exclaimed. "And also – the pairings – the pairings! I can't stay here! We're so deep into the fiction now that hardly any flames can penetrate! Canon-Sue-bashing is one of the cores of all Suethor fiction! And anyway... I never really liked Elizabeth that much."

"Bastard. How can you not like her?" Will asked, waving his arms. "And... she isn't a Canon-Sue, okay?! Now shut up and tell me which way to go!"

"I can't shut up and tell you which way to go." Beckett said through gritted teeth. He did not like being shouted at. Will looked like he was about to either scream, or rip off Beckett's head, or possibly both, so he continued anyway. "Just go down there and take a left. It's your life." He muttered resentfully.

"Thank you." Will snapped, and then bounded off. Bootstrap looked from Beckett to Will, and then followed close behind. Beckett continued to brush dust from his coat, taking quite a while. He listened a bit. Then, his curiosity getting the better of him at last, he crept through the cave, popping his head around the corner.

Oops...

NB: Hooray! 20+ reviews! I'm famous... er... ish. I'm glad that people find my story funny... that's what it's here for! Don't you worry, Davy Jones isn't going to be left out of this, but he'll be coming in much later... Ho ho. Elizabashing; there's always one character in a fandom that's constantly getting bashed...