Title: Banging
Summary: "Come back here you psycho glitter bitch."
Rating: Teen (Yes it is)
Archive: Yes (hahahaha)
Author's Note: HE WAS MY SON TOO, SHAW!! Is not the proper emotion for that line…(Footloose)
Chapter Ten
"You're slipping."
"I most certainly am not. I'm very firmly planted in my chair. I would think I would know if I were slipping."
"I meant writing. You haven't updated in ages."
"Pardon me for trying to get into college and then paying for it."
"Don't you have a full ride to your instate university?"
"Trivial. I need twenty-four thousand more for Ithaca."
"Still, you're slipping."
"Do you have a mute button somewhere?"
"I'm a person. I cannot be muted."
"Oh no, people can be muted. The manner in which it is done is just the problem."
"…Minerva, you're disturbing."
"But wonderfully so." Tap, tap, tapping of the keyboard and a click. "I need a subject."
"You being robbed of Vi Moore?"
"No-old news. Think Green Bean, think."
"Why must I always be a vegetable?"
"Think Honey Bunny, think."
"I almost prefer Artichoke."
"Think Artichoke, think."
"I said almost."
…
"Elphie, do you suppose that if I put arsen-BOQ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Slam, click, breath and pant.
"She's crazy."
"And…?'
"She…She's talking about…"
Glance, blink, breathe and gulp.
"About?"
"…About 'it'!"
"Doing 'it'?"
"Mmmhhhmmm…"
"Well, you don't have to do 'it'. None everyone does."
"Do I need to be here for this conversation?"
"Feel free to slip away, Honey Bunny Artichoke Bean."
"Minerva, what am I going to do?"
"Apparently, no 'it'."
"This is serious." He hissed. "She's serious."
Knock, roll, screech, and shriek.
"Boq!"
"Oh no!"
My giggle. "Oh yes!"
"Boq, I know you're there! Minerva, open the door!"
"You're Tin Man is blocking the way."
"Hit him if you have to!"
"Sorry, no can do."
"Then ask him why he won't take me dancing!"
"Why won't you take her dancing?"
"I told you I don't want to do it!"
"Ohhh…That 'it."
"What 'it' were you thinking of?"
"That other 'it'…"
"Aw, hell, any idiot can do that. I meant dancing. That wheelchair is heavy, and she likes dancing."
"I may be small and crippled, and have been raised to be polite, but I know bull shit when I hear it, Boq!"
"Minerva!"
"Boq, I will not be in the impact zone when this hits the fan. This is one of those battles you must face alone. Think of it as a passage into manhood."
"But I wanna dance!"
"Go with Fiyero!"
"Boq!"
"Nessa, I'd take Fiyero. He's just that kind of pretty."
"What kind of pretty? There's more than one kind." Boq looked up.
"Oh, Minerva, he is."
"What am I missing? Am I that kind of pretty?"
"Nessa, you know that kind of pretty you want to taxidermy and stare at in a museum? Oh god…"
"Mmmhhh…"
"What kind of pretty am I?
Elphaba wandered back in and smirked.
"I'll be captain of Yero's guard any time."
"What about me? Nessa?"
"Yes, Boq?"
"Am I that kind of pretty?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Boq, my dear, you are the other kind of pretty."
"There's more than one kind?"
"You're the kind of pretty I would drag into the back alley and bang."
"Nessa, that's…Explicit."
"Nessa wants to bang me?"
"Oh, Elphaba, give her a break. The closet she gets to action is NASCAR. All those wheels."
"I don't appreciate the wheelchair jokes."
"I do."
"Like, the horizontal version of 'it'?"
"You have no soul."
"I sold it to pay for college."
"You're psychotic."
"Yes, but I have the glitter from my acceptance letter to throw in your face."
Glance, tick, sigh and move.
"I have to go. My bed is calling me."
"Could be go back to the banging me in a dark alley?"
"G'night guys."
"Good night."
Nessa's squeaking wheels stop.
"You're just going to go to sleep after starting that?"
"I'm tired, and you're really just a figment of my imagination so…Yes, I am."
"We need to resolve this."
"I agree. Let's start with the part where Nessa is supposedly banging me."
"Boq, watch your mouth when you speak of my sister."
"Minerva, don't just walk away."
"Too late, sister, she's going out the other door."
"Wait! Come back here you psycho glitter bitch!"