Okay, so I'm really bad at updating, but it was less than a month this time!! Truth is I was a few chapters ahead, then decided I didn't like where it was going so I trashed it, and did something new. I'm on an easier rotation so I should be able to update more regularly. I changed the format a bit by adding a song, so if you have "I Wish I Wasn't" by Heather Headley, I highly recommend playing it. If not, check it out on youtube.

Thank you to crazy-chica6, McWriterx3, KittyLikesToScratch, Cowboys-and-Coffee, addie4ever, TeamAddek, Addekluvrrr, esnad, and elevatorGod for the great reviews!!

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing. I'm simply a poor student.

"Derek Matthew Shepherd!! Get down here this instant!" Addison yelled up the stairs.

"What? I'm right here." Derek came up behind her.

"Oh, sorry not you. I was calling D.J."

"What happened?"

"You'll see," she took a deep breath to give another yell, when her son appeared at the top of the stairs. At five years old he was already a heartbreaker. He had her fire-red hair, but everything else was pure Derek, from his eyes to his smile.

"Yes, Mommy?" he said innocently.

She crooked her finger at him. "Could you come down here for a second, please?" He walked slowly down the stairs and stood next to Addison looking up at her expectantly. Addison extended her hand to him, "I'd like to show you something." They walked around the corner to the dining room and stood in front of a wall, which while white that morning had mysteriously sprouted colors. They stood before the wall silently. "So, what do you think?" D.J. shrugged. "Any ideas how it got there?" He shook his head. "Well, that's very interesting, because those handprints look very familiar." He looked down at his feet, suddenly finding his shoes quite fascinating. "And they look too small to be mine or Daddy's."

"Do you have anything to say?" Derek asked.

D.J. looked up at both of his parents and gave a long sigh. "It was me."

"Why did you do this?" Derek inquired.

D.J. shrugged again. "I ran out of paper," he said, as if it were the most obvious explanation in the world.

"When you run out of paper, you don't use the walls, you wait until we get you some more paper. Do you understand?" Addison asked.

"Yes, Mommy. I'm sorry" he said, giving his best puppy-dog face, which looked exactly like Derek's.

He looked so cute when he said it that Addison had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. "Well, since you like painting so much, you can help me repaint it," Derek stated.

"Okay, Daddy."

"Alright, upstairs."

D.J. gave a long-suffering sigh, and turned to go back to his room.

Once he was out of earshot Addison let out the laugh she had been holding in. "Oh, what are we going to do with him," she said, shaking her head. "I can only hope that this one won't be such a handful," she rubbed her five-month pregnant belly.

"If she's anything like you, she'll be worse," Derek cracked, earning himself a slap to the chest.

"Watch it, buddy," she smirked, walking away.

Derek came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her growing waist. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too."

Addison smiled in her sleep, completely lost in her dream, and snuggled further into the blankets. She shifted backwards to slip nearer to Derek's warmth. She scooted back a little a farther, then a little more, little more, and…BAM!!! She fell to the floor in a heap of sprawled limbs and bed linens. Her hands immediately went to her abdomen, but all she found was her flat stomach. She sighed and sat up, still slightly disoriented. She looked over at her suspiciously empty bed. Where…? A quick look around the room confirmed that she was alone. Maybe he's in the shower. She stood and wrapped the sheet around herself as she went into the bathroom. Empty. She felt her pulse start to quicken. She stepped out of her bedroom and onto the landing, straining to hear some sort of noise in the house. "Derek?" Silence. No, no, this is not happening. Addison performed a thorough search of the house, ending in her bedroom. All of his stuff was gone; there was no trace of him in the house. There was also no note, voicemail, text, or message of any kind. If it wasn't for his scent on the sheets and the tingling between her thighs she would question whether he had ever been there at all.

Addison stood in the doorway of her room staring at the bed, images of the night before flashing through her head. Everything had been perfect; she thought she might finally get her happily ever after. She could feel the tell-tale burning at the back of her eyes as she moved toward the bed. The memories were so fresh she could still feel his hands, his lips, hear him whispering in her ear.

I'll never leave you.

The tears began to fall freely.

I'll never hurt you again.

She snatched all the blankets and sheets from the bed flinging them around the room, screaming out her frustration.

I love you.

She crumpled next to the bed as the tears starting coming faster. She curled into a ball and wrapped the sheet around herself, inhaling his cologne, and cried her heart out.

Derek walked through the halls of Seattle Grace with a smile on his face and a spring in his step. Things were finally beginning to right themselves. Addison had given him another chance and they were back together as they should be. I'm not going to mess this up this time. Now that I have her back, I'm never going to let her go, especially not after the mind-blowing sex from last night. His smile widened as memories from last night flooded him. He could still practically feel her hands and hear her moaning softly in his ear.

"Where the hell have you been and why are you grinning like the Cheshire cat?"

He turned to see The Nazi giving him one of her patented glares, standing with a hand on her hip. "Did you miss me Dr. Bailey?"

"Actually, it's amazing what we get done around here without you and all your foolishness."

Derek chuckled as he accepted the chart she handed him, but quickly sobered as he read through the notes. This would definitely be a challenge. "How's he doing?"

"He's trying to hold it together. Adele's in there with him. She hasn't left his side since he was admitted. I don't even know if she's eaten."

Derek nodded and sighed. "Who's the resident," he asked while flipped through the chart. He came to the resident's note and stopped when he read the name. He looked back up at Bailey.

She shrugged. "He asked for her."

There on the resident's note was the name Meredith Grey.

Addison took deep breaths to calm herself as her tears finally started to slow. She reached up and grabbed the phone off of her nightstand and dialed a number.

"Hello."

"Ro."

"Hey, Addie. What's up?"

"I slept with Derek."

A beat. "Yeah, right. Nice try, Addie, but you already got me with that one, remember?"

"Ro," Addison repeated, her voice cracking.

Robin's tone changed instantly. "I'm on my way."

Fifteen minutes later, Robin pulled up in front of her house equipped with a box of Krispy Kremes and two venti hot chocolates with extra whipped cream.

A disheveled Addison opened the door.

"You look like shit." Addison pulled her robe tighter around her. "I come bearing juju. Now let's go sit down and you can tell me what happened. In excruciating detail."

Addison accepted the cocoa and led the way to the den, where she promptly plopped down on the couch. Robin sat in the overstuffed chair opposite her. "Alright, spill."

Addison took a deep breath and relayed the events of the past few days, all the while staring at anything other than her friend. Robin quietly listened, nodding in the appropriate places.

"So, Gwen left and you two just jumped each other?"

"No, we…we talked and he said all the right things and asked me to give him another chance, and I agreed. Then we kissed and he proceeded to give me mind-altering orgasms."

"Orgasms? As in plural?"

"Yes."

"Wow. So, then what?"

"I fell asleep in his arms."

"And?"

"And I woke up alone on my bedroom floor."

"And?"

"And…that's it."

"Okay, but he at least left a note or something, right?" Addison just stared at her. "Not even a post-it?"

"You watch too much Sex and the City," Addison smirked.

"Well it at least got you to crack a smile. So, what's the game plan? Want me to put a hit out on him? I know people, I can make it happen."

"Tempting, but no." Addison sighed. "I just…I feel like an idiot. All he does is hurt me, but I let him in every time. I know his track record, I know what he does, how he operates, but I keep doing the same thing thinking that it'll have a different outcome."

"Isn't that the definition of delusional?"

"Thanks, Ro."

"Or is it psychosis?" she said thoughtfully.

"Robin seriously, you're great at this pep talk thing." Addison stated, sarcastic as hell.

"Oh, sorry Addie," she said sheepishly.

Addison sighed and put her head in her hands. "I hate him."

Derek was currently examining Richard, who was certainly not at his best. Derek was doing his best to keep his emotions in check, but seeing his mentor in such a weakened state was hard to accept. Just a few days ago, he was at his near-wedding laughing and joking and now he was barely able to lift his head from his bed. Derek looked up and locked eyes with Adele. She nodded in understanding. Derek looked back down at the bed, "Chief," he began.

"I already know what you're going to say, Shep," he said, sighing heavily.

"Why didn't you come to me sooner?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought I could work through it."

Derek studied the older man carefully, "How long have you been having symptoms?"

The chief avoided eye contact, "Not that long."

"Richard."

"Fine, six months."

"SIX MONT-" Adele interrupted, but stopped when Derek held up his hand. He rubbed his hand across his face and through his hair. "Okay, this is the plan. I'm going to order a repeat MRI and see where we are now. Once we know the status, I will give you free reign, Adele." He patted Richard's hand, as his pager went off. "Hang in there, I'll be back soon."

Derek walked from the room checking his pager, and ran straight into another body, knocking them to the ground. He looked up to see Meredith sprawled on the floor before him. He reached down to help her up, "Sorry, Mer. I didn't see you. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, fine," she said brushing herself off. They stood in awkward silence for a moment. It was the first time they'd seen each other since he broke it off, neither was really sure how to act. "Um, how are you?"

"I'm good. You, uh, you look like you got some sun." Actually she looked more like a boiled lobster.

"Yeah, I decided to go to Aruba anyway, and I kind of fell asleep in the sun."

"Oh." Another uncomfortable silence. "Well, I need to answer this page so…" he turned to leave.

"I didn't go alone, you know."

Derek stopped and dropped his head, "Oh?" he said turning back around.

"Yea," she smirked, placing a hand on her hip. "I had good company, the kind that makes my back arch and my toes curl," she said stepping closer to him.

"Well," he said side-stepping her with a smile, "It's good to know that you've moved on too. That'll make us working together a lot easier. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really have to answer this page." With that he walked off down the hall.

Meredith stood watching his retreating figure. "Shit," she muttered, before turning on her heel and storming away.

Addison and Robin sat in silence, having already finished their juju. "You know, by now I should be used to putting myself back together after Derek breaks me. But now, I don't even have my manwhore to fall back on."

"Mmm, how is Mark? Ooh, he was always up for a good time." Robin asked, reclining on the couch.

"Oh, eww. He's good. He and Callie are expecting their second."

"Damn, when did he get married?"

"Two years ago. How ironic is it that my dirty mistress is married with kids and I'm alone?" She stood and walked over to the bar, "I need a drink," she said pouring herself a scotch. She felt the liquid burn down her throat, and the tears run down her face.

"Oh, Addie," Robin said, getting up to pull her friend into a hug. "Maybe-maybe there's a mistake. Or something could have happened. There could have been an accident. Hey, he could be lying unconscious in a ditch somewhere."

Addison laughed through her tears, "Rarely have I heard that used as a positive." She wiped away her tears. "Argh, I hate him for making me feel like this! Hate him! Hate. HATE!!" She slammed her fist against the bar.

Robin poured herself a martini, "I'll drink to that."

Derek stood and stretched. He had been going non-stop since he arrived at the hospital. He hadn't even had a chance to call Addie yet. As he pulled out his phone, it struck him as odd that she hadn't called him. He knew she had the day off, because they were planning to spend it in bed together. It's really not like her to not call. She would have at least got in touch with Adele since she knows that Richard is sick. Actually, being who she is, Addison would have been here by now. Derek began to get a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something's wrong. He started to have chest pain. Oh, something's wrong. He quickly flipped open the phone to dial Addison's number. Right as he hit send, Meredith came rushing into the room. "Derek, you have to come now. The chief started seizing and he's blown his left pupil. He's now unresponsive!"

Derek slapped the phone closed and ran from the room, "Get an OR, now! I don't care who you have to bump, get one now!" He pulled up short as he spotted the Nazi, "Dr. Bailey, I need you to do me a favor."

Addison sat in a drunken stupor, looking back and forth between the Tiffany's box and her wedding album. Robin had long since passed out from the alcohol. So Addison was left alone with her rebellious thoughts and her cds. But out of her diverse collection she had had the same song on repeat for the past two hours.

I'm home alone again
And you're out hangin' with your friends
So you say
Somehow I know it's not quite that way
It's getting pretty late
And you haven't checked on me all day
When I called, you didn't answer
Now I'm feelin' like your ignorin' me
I wish that you were home
holdin' me tight in your arms and I wish
I could go back
To the day before we met
And skip my regret

She had been staring at the phone all day, willing it to ring. The longer it stayed silent the more upset she became.

(CHORUS)
I wish I wasn't
In love with you
So you couldn't hurt me
It just ain't fair
The way you treat me
No you don't deserve me
Wasted my time
Thinkin' bout you
And you ain't never gon change
I wish I wasn't
In love with you
So I wouldn't feel this way

My life would be so much easier if I could just let him go. I never have this kind of pain with Jake. I didn't even have this with Mark. I had extreme guilt, yes, but not this.

When you touch me my heart melts
Anything you did wrong I forgave, yeah
So you play me
And take advantage
Of the love
That I feel for you
Why you wanna hurt me so bad
I believed in you
That's why I'm so mad
Now I'm drownin' in disappointment
And its hard for me to even look at you
I wish that you were home(oh yes I do)
holdin' me tight in your arms(ooh baby)
and I wish I could go back
To the day before we met
And skip my regret

She leaned her head back against the leather, and continued to nurse her drink. It's funny how a song can match your situation perfectly. Why is it that with everything he's done to me my body still craves him? Why do I want him to walk through that door?

Simple.

Because you love him.

She drained the glass.

You said you cared about me
But from what I see
I ain't feelin' that
So I disagree
Gave you all my love
And understanding
And you treated me
Like your enemy
So leave me alone
don't want nothin from ya
Just go back where you came from
This house is no longer your home
You're not welcome no no no more
No (oo oo oo) more

Her cell began to ring and Addison stared at the device blankly. Seattle Grace flashed across the called id. She slowly reached over and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Addison?"

::sigh:: "Hey, Miranda. What's up?"

"I, uh, Addison you need to get to Seattle as soon as possible."

Bailey is hesitating, why-why is she hesitating? "What?! What's wrong?" Please, don't let it be Derek; please don't let it be Derek.

"It's the Chief, he, um…You-you should get here soon."

"I'll be on the next flight."

So, there we are. As usual, please review!!!