HI! Thank you everyone who reviewed, these are so many awesome and funny and super-nice reviews all for one chapter! This here chapter should hopefully have a bit o' funniness for ya' to enjoy. Hopes ya like it as much as I like all yer wonderful reviews!

To Mayday200: Thank you so much! Aw, that's ok; yer reviews are always so nice! Quality rather than quantity... but quantity's always a good thing too, when it comes to quality reviews. Yeh, life makes people busy. Yahoo, I'm so glad!

To smoshaholic123: Heh heh, yup. T's a pretty neat day o' the year.

To Iceshadow911247: Yay! Ehhh... is he the one with floppy brown hair or spikier darker hair? I always forget, lemme check... (Sorry, I'm always forgetting who the actors are for everything I watch.) Oh, yes, Spiky Hair Doctor! Yeah, he's my favorite too. Hmm, no I don't think it'd be a good ending, 'cause then all the insanity that I have planned wouldn't happen! Hee hee, yeah, she's naturally good at being miffed at other persons. Ah, you SHALL know her name- t'is the first word of the beginning of this actual chapter (not this author's note.). Nope, it didn't end. Really? Here, take our Nerf guns, baseball bats, and my yet-to-be-completed bow that has no string or arrows yet! Or my dad, he'll annoy the zombies to death. Re-death. Whatever it is.

To zrexheartz: Yyyyeah, sorry! I have the annoying habit of trying to fit main events on chapters that are multiples of 5 or 10! I'm quite insane in this way, and I miff myself greatly. Heh, sorry again! Are you a dude, or dudette too? I guess a dude.

To Abyss Prime: Nope, it ain't ending any time soon! Oh, thank you so very much! I'll try; I've been looking forward to typing this chapter's hopeful hilarity for a while.

And finally, THE CHAPTER!

"Shard." The girl stated.

"Shard?" Caterwaul inquired.

"Shard," the girl repeated.

"Why Shard?" Caterwaul asked.

"Because," Shard answered.

"Ah," Caterwaul replied knowingly. (Why knowingly? 'Cause it makes it funnier. Least I hope it does.)

"Sooo..." Shard asked, nodding a bit, "What will I eat while I'm kept prisoner here?" She would've added 'on this ship of doom,' but didn't want to offend anyone at this moment.

"Why?" Caterwaul inquired, "Are you hungry?"

"Nope," Shard answered, "But I will get hungry. Mucho de hungry."

Caterwaul looked around, "Ummm... We don't really have any human food here..."

Shard nodded calmly, "Then I will die."

Caterwaul blinked at her blankly, "You don't seem worried by that."

"That's because I'm insane."

"You've been diagnosed with a severe mental condition?" Caterwaul questioned, cocking her head.

"No."

"Then why are you insane?"

"Because I am," Shard told her.

"This conversation is going in circles."

"I like circles."

Caterwaul sighed, "You are a very strange little human."

"Yep."

Caterwaul sighed more heavily, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. Robotic eyes.

"Can I ask you something?" Shard asked, to which Caterwaul replied, rather blandly, "You just did."

Shard made a deadpan expression, before shrugging and asking, "What are you? All of you, I mean. What're your eyes, words, everything?" She gestured to Knockout and Soundwave, who'd remained in the room observing the bizarre conversation.

"We are Decepticons," Knockout informed her haughtily and completely uninformatively. Shard blinked, uncomprehending.

"We're sentient robotic beings from the planet Cybertron," Caterwaul explained, "Females are femmes, males are mechs, our 'eyes' are optics, 'hearts' are sparks, and 'ears' are audio-receptors. Or just ears in my case." The feline grinned, twitching her furry ears a bit.

"We can transform into anything of the relative same mass as ourselves," she continued, "and we consume energon- which is refined from blue energon crystals of pure energy- as fuel. There are two main factions of Cybertronians: We, here, have the title of Decepticons. And our... enemies, the Autobots, are the same."

"Then why are you enemies?" Shard questioned, frowning as she remembered how many humans thought of other humans as enemies. Same species, same origin, same planet, but still killing one another. Why?

Caterwaul's eyes gleamed at the unspoken thoughts, clearly written on the girl's now innocent-looking-yet-sorrowful face, 'Why fight? Why kill one another? What's the point?'

Caterwaul's expression softened for a moment, before she smirked and turned to grin evilly at Knockout, "I believe you should be asking your guardian all these questions instead of me, Shard. I'm sure he'd love to try explaining...!"

Knockout looked visibly ill at this statement, and at the smug grin that Caterwaul sent his way. Shard looked up at him, expression juuusst hinting at a smug, fake impatience, "Wellll...?"

Her faint smile spoke volumes for what she was silently implying, 'You can't think of a reason, can you? I win.'

Knockout frowned at her, a scowl appearing on his face as the girl cocked her head all too innocently, still expecting an answer. The scarlet Decepticon looked back to Soundwave for help, but the quiet indigo Decepticon had silently vanished.

Knockout groaned in frustration, rolling his optics, raising his arms and baring his claws in an aggrieved 'why me' gesture. Shard let a smirk flicker at the corner of her mouth, then cocked her head and froze as she heard someone speaking.

Deep growling raspy voice... Megatron. Ordering-ish tone... Sneering and aggressive... Now contemptuous and... dismissive. Then a quick, nasty laugh about something.

No more speaking, but loud, clanking footsteps, going away. Nah, more like foot-clomps. CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP. CLOMP. Clomp. Clomp. Clomp... Clomp...

'Yeeeeeesss,' Shard thought, mentally leering at the colossal dictator, 'Away with you! You're mean to the others. You yell like my mom. Nasty you.' The girl smirked at how silly the wording of her thoughts sounded, even to herself.

"Um, Shard?"

The girl felt something poke her shoulder, and she snapped her attention back to reality see Caterwaul, looking at her and holding one paw cautiously extended toward Shard's shoulder.

"What? Staring into space?" Shard inquired, "I do that sometimes." Just as she finished speaking, Shard glimpsed Soundwave coming back into the room. Again, silent.

"Hi," she greeted him simply, and the Decepticon turned his head to face in Shard's direction. The girl twitched in surprise when, as earlier, Megatron's harsh voice came out of the quiet Decepticon.

"Obviously, Knockout does not plan on doing anything useful with the little pest he's brought here. Find out what you can from it; perhaps you will find something, some information that does not make it entirely worthless. Go now."

Shard scowled at the floor, then growled a sigh, "Whaddaya wanna know?"

Her own voice, or at least a recording of it, answered Shard, "What are you? All of you, I mean. What're your eyes, words, everything?"

"Uhhhhh-huh," Shard stated slowly, "That's gonna be a lot."

Megatron's voice was replayed again, "If it disobeys, have Caterwaul help. She knows how to cause humans pain, I believe." So that's what the nasty laughing part had been earlier.

Caterwaul pouted, "My claws are tired." Soundwave repeated Megatron's statement.

Caterwaul scrunched up her face, "Rrrh. Humans taste bad."

"Been wondering about that," Shard interjected, "And how would you know? Have you eaten humans before?"

(WARNING! If ya don't like anything remotely gory, skip the next two paragraphs! Skippity skip 'em!)

Caterwaul looked both surprised and disgusted, "Of course not! I bit- well, tore and shredded- a human's leg, and it tasted revolting. Dirt-coated fabric, stringy muscle tissue, utterly foul skin, disgustingly bitter meat-juice, and really sour blood, which kept squirting out onto my face and paws. All in all, a very bad taste."

Instead of looking appalled, Shard looked thoughtful, nodding her head and looking up slightly, "Try using salt or barbeque sauce to hide the flavor... But only after draining out all the blood with a deep cut through the major arteries... Preferably the throat, a quick death with less pain... Wash the meat out with water... Then add the salt or barbeque sauce... Annnnd, yeah, that should be good to go. Oh wait, cooking it on a fire afterwards would be a good idea too."

Shard nodded to herself, pleased, and noticed that Caterwaul was staring at her.

"What?" the girl asked, "It works great on rats. And unused dead fish from fancy restaurants. Well, only one restaurant; the town's smallish, only has one or two vaguely fancy restaurants. And the cats don't like barbeque sauce. Salt is ok though. They like it if it's fire-cooked a bit, too, nice and warm."

Caterwaul didn't respond, except to blink.

"What?" Shard asked curiously.

"You... are a strange little human."

"Just hungry and observant."

"Correction, you are a strange, scary little human."

"Yep."