"Incoming transmission." Gob adjusted the knobs on the radio. Grob Gob Glob Grod were alone in their home, next to the Ultimate Machine of Communication, a radio that received and sent messages anywhere in the galaxy.

"Who's contacting us?" asked Glob.

"I'm looking up the coordinates now..." Gob checked the star chart tacked up on the wall. "It's coming from Ooo... in the candy kingdom."

"Decoding the transmission now." Grob got straight to work turning the signal back into the words which were sent. "It's a request for information. Apparently Magic Man is to be punished for his crimes on Earth. They are requesting information about his crimes here on Mars and offering an extradition."

"Should we?" asked Gob.

Glob closed his eyes. "Magic Man has gotten himself in enough trouble on Earth without our additions. It's for the best, if they carry out their own justice for crimes in their own land. As we have chosen to leave him, we will not interfere."

"I'll send back our response," said Gob.

"No," said Glob. "Don't send a response. Just ignore it. Act as if we never got it."

"Perhaps this is for the best," Grob mused. "He can't escape the penalty for his behavior forever, but at least this way it does not have to come by our hand."

Grob Gob Glob Grod went silent.

Magic Man's trial started not too long after that. Finn the Human threw himself wholeheartedly into preparing for it, even tracking down the former residents of Freak City to speak out against Magic Man. Not only that, but they knew the names and towns of other people who had crossed paths with Magic Man and were worse off because of it. Many of them seized the chance to weigh in on his crimes. Indeed, looked like it was going to be very easy to have Magic Man locked away in the darkest dungeon in the deepest part of the Candy Kingdom for the rest of his life.

Not surprisingly, Magic Man had a cavalier attitude about the whole thing. He seemed to be treating the it like a game or a joke, the same way he treated everything else that happened to him. From the outside, he seemed to be the same Magic Man he'd always been. Inside, though, he was thinking hard.

Ephermelda hadn't come back since she told him she didn't exist and called him a fish. When he thought objectively about it, he realized it was unlikely that Ephermelda was telling the truth when she explained how it was possible for her to be a figment of his imagination. But then, it wasn't like he had a hypothetical measuring stick to go up against. Anyway, whether she was real or not, she wasn't going to be of any help to him now.

Neither was Margles. She only came to him in his dream, and it was only so his subconscious could get him to realize something he already knew. He was totally alone in this. Not that this was different than everything else in his life. He'd been alone in everything for a long time, with only himself for company. It wasn't really a big deal to him.

He hadn't been locked away for too long before the trial proper began. One morning, when he wasn't expecting it, two banana guards came to his cell. He'd been up a lot that night, as there was a storm brewing outside, the wind and rain beating down just outside the dungeon window. He was awake to greet the guards, thought he didn't.

Both of them were wearing a belt that held a magic neutralizing device like the one Princess Bubblegum had used. Magic Man was actually surprised he hadn't been able to crack through it. It was possible, though very unlikely, that Princess Bubblegum was a better technician than he was a magician. After all, it was his brother Grob Gob Glob Grod who was the deity; he was just a Magic Man. Still, as the banana guards led him up into the castle (one guard to each arm, holding tight) Magic Man wasn't sure whether or not he couldn't free himself or if he just didn't want to. On top of that, he was too far removed to know whether, if he was staying by choice, was it just for fun or some kind of penitence for his misdeeds?

At this point, Magic Man did not know his own self.

Princess Bubblegum herself would play judge for this small trial, as she was the fairest and most just in all the Candy Kingdom. Several members of the Candy Council would also weigh in. Gingerbread Judge, Candied Cain, and Berry Bar sat off to the side where they would quietly listen. Finn stood, arms folded, on the other side of the room near Bubblegum's stand.

Magic Man took all this in in an instant when he was lead through the doors. They sat him in a wooden chair in the middle of everything, his wrists stuck together in front of him with taffy.

"The Trial of Magic Man will now begin!" Manfried the Talking Piñata announced, which called the events officially to order.

"Thank you, Manfried," said Princess Bubblegum. "Today we are here to listen to the crimes of the Magic Man, to weigh their severity, and to decide his ultimate fate."

"Lock 'im up!" Finn shouted.

"Finn," Pricness Bubblegum warned firmly.

"Sorry, Princess."

"I would like to start with some of your friends who have come here today," said Princess Bubblegum.

Then they brought in someone Magic Man only vaguely recognized: Kim. She was looking well in her humanoid form. Her long black hair was tied back, and she wore a clean white dress/lab coat and red boots. Her syringe hand had been capped to avoid accidental needle sticks, and her eyepatch looked new.

"Hello," said Kim.

Everyone else in the room murmured a hello.

"Please," said Princess Bubblegum, "would you tell us about your encounter with this Magic Man?"

"Yes." Kim began her story, her voice firm, her thick latina accent adding a strange edge to her emotion. "I was working in a science lab many years ago. I stay very late many nights when work is hard. One night I went outside for air when I heard a pathetic voice cry out for food. I took pity on him and shared the leftovers from my dinner.

"'Oh, thank you kind one,' he said to me. 'You know, I'm not really a beggar but a Magic Man! Since you gave me such a good meal I will repay you with a magical favor. You may ask for anything.'

"I thought about it, and then I knew what I wanted. I said, 'Please, could you fix it so I can see out of my both eyes?' You see, I lost mine in an accident many years ago, and my job is hard without depth perception.

"'Not a problem,' he said, and he hit me with his bright magic confetti. And when the light subsided I could see again like I used to! But when I went to feel if the socket was full, I found I couldn't. I had no arms, I had no legs- I was a leg! 'What have you done to me?' I cried!

"'I've gifted you what you asked for, along with a super special magical life lesson!'

"'Change me back!' I yelled.

"He only laughed and disappeared, but first he yelled back: 'Not until you appreciate what a jerk I am!'"

Kim finished her story. The courtroom was silent as the information was processed by all in attendance.

"Were those his exact words?" Princess Bubblegum asked. "Not until you appreciate what a jerk I am?"

"Yes, I'm sure," said Kim.

"I see. Thank you."

Kim nodded, and then she went to the back of the room.

Person after person came forward, each one with their own story of an encounter with Magic Man. Princess Bubblegum listened to each one, and as she listened she watched Magic Man. She wanted to see some twinge of guilt or remorse, maybe embarrassment or discomfort. But his face was a complete blank. Once or twice, when the story being told reached it's climax, where Magic Man got the better of someone, his mouth would turn up in a tiny smile.

Soon it was Jake's turn to tell his story. "I'd only met the defendant once," Jake said to the visiting judges, "but I knew he was a suspicious character. Sure, he tried to show how awesome he was by turning Finn into a giant foot, but I still had reservations.

"So one day, I'm walking along with my buddy Finn, and we were enjoying the silence, when out of nowhere this crazy guy plows right into us! Next thing I know I'm on Mars and Abe Lincoln is offering to send me on an eternal journey of cosmic discovery. Then I'm dead, but then I'm not, and Finn takes me home. Anyway, it's all Magic Man's fault."

The candy judges looked at each other with varying degrees of bemusement on their faces.

"All right," said Princess Bubblegum. "I have one more story I want to hear. Finn, could you tell us about how you were finally transformed back into a boy after becoming a foot? I'd like to hear how you came to learn his magical life lesson."

"Yeah," said Finn. "It was after I found Freak City."

Finn couldn't believe none of them had seen it before: they had all been turned into body parts. He only saw it himself after he kicked the other freaks out into the daylight, and saw Gork, Trudy, Zap, Kim, Wee Wee, and Gorflax all piled up against each other.

"Wait, Finn!" Gork protested as Finn angrily kicked them. "Stop it, man! We don't like touching each other!"

Finn squinted, staring hard at the lump of twisted bodies of body parts. "Hmm..."

"Please, man," Gork said.

"Wait a second." Finn pointed. "Kim. Get underneath Trudy."

Kim and Trudy looked at each other. "No, man, please," Kim protested. "I frikkin' hate Trudy!"

"KIM! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

"Okay!" Kim yelped and quickly wriggled herself under Trudy the waist.

Jake grinned. "Heh heh... yeah, do it, Kim!"

Kim put her flat foot part down on the ground, her skinny leg body sticking straight up in the air with half of Trudy resting on top. Gork and Zap were still sitting on top of Trudy, watching Finn with confusion.

"Yes... now for me!" Finn hopped forward and wriggled himself under the other side of Trudy, supporting her fully. "Look at us now!"

Jake gasped with glee.

The mass of bodies walked over to a large puddle of water in the dry river bed. Cautiously optimistic, Gork the head peered down at their reflection and saw: "We're... we're like a big, normal guy."

The others- the arm, the legs, and the tonsils sitting as ears, saw it too. Each tiny face was smiling.

"We're perfect together," said Zap.

"Grawsh, Finn..." Trudy breathed.

Kim closed her eyes as she started to blush a little. "Oh, thank you, Finn."

Finn pumped his arms in excitement. "Word! Now let's go wreck up that Magic Man! Y'all with me?"

The other freaks cheered along with him.

"Absolutely!"

"Woo!"

"Hell yeah!"

"We're not afraid anymore!"

Jake ran over to the Super Freak. "Wait! Let me get in on this!" He wasn't a body part, but he could be something that the Super Freak needed if it was going to move without falling apart. Jake stretched around the legs and waist, holding them together. "I'll form the pants!"

"Wow." Trudy couldn't believe it. "All these years as a-"

Her amazement was cut off by a loud but weary cry, "Food! Food for a beggar!"

There, wrapped in his tattered blanket, was the very man they were about to look for! He walked up to them, asking, "Y'all got any food?"

"We've got a little orange juice left over from-" Gork suddenly recognized him and narrowed his eye. "Wait a second!"

"Ha ha! That's right! It is I, the Magic Man!" He laughed as he floated, spun around, and shed his beggar disguise to reveal the green humanoid underneath. "Ha ha! Zap!" He flung some of his magic at the Super Freak.

Working together as a body, Zap shielded Gork's giant eye from damage.

"Come on, applegrease!" Magic Man twiddled his fingers in anticipation. "What are you gonna do?"

Zap socked Magic Man right in the pit of his stomach. "We're not afraid!" he shouted as he sent Magic Man flying.

Magic Man twisted his body in the air and landed on his hands and feet, skidding along the ground relatively unharmed. "Are you suuuure about that?" he taunted.

"You're darn right we are!" Finn shouted. "Together we are huge! We'll give it our all! Also, Gork has lava breath." Finn looked up at Gork. "Do your thing!"

Gork scrunched up his face, and the hurled lava like vomit out of his mouth and onto Magic Man.

"Whoop!" Magic Man laughed and opened up two circles of magic, one with each hand on either side of him. They were portals, funneling the lava in one and out the other so they never touched him. "Is that the only 'all' you've got?"

"We got more!" Finn shrieked. "We got tons more 'all'!"

"Get his eyes!" Kim's intensity matched Finn's. "Cut him in the eyes!"

"You can't fool us anymore with your stupid tricks, Magic Man!"

Magic Man sent a stream of light out from one of his fingertips. "My tricks are precisely as stupid as your whack innocence requires." As he spoke, the light danced around his head and then went into his other finger, a silly little illusion and nothing more.

"No more riddles, Magic Man!" Finn clenched his fists. "Give us our bodies back!"

Finn kicked Magic Man as hard as he could. Magic Man went sailing through the air and landed on the brush of a tree downed in the riverbed. Still, Magic Man didn't appear hurt at all. "Why should I?" he asked playfully. "You still act like a hero only to get what you want."

Suddenly, Finn's face changed with the realization that suddenly overcame him. "Oh," he said in awe, as if being let in on some great cosmic secret. "That it. You were trying to teach us to be kind without expecting something in return. I should have given you that sugar cube without even thinking about a reward." He smiled proudly. "Just like a foot supports a body without asking to be paid."

The other freaks murmured in agreement.

"Oh..."

"Right on."

"We were so self-absorbed."

"We did the same bad thing."

Finn was expecting to be granted his body back. So he was quite surprised when, instead, steaming blobs of water came flying at his face instead. It hit his face, both soaking and burning him at the same time.

"WRONG!" Magic Man cried.

"Aah! Ow!" Finn rubbed his face. "You've gifted us nothing but heartache, Magic Man! What's the life lesson in that?"

"Hee hee hee... yes, my children, you're so close to the answer!" Magic Man kicked his feet in delight as he giggled.

"Answer this!" Finn and Kim crouched down, and the Super Freak leaped into the air. Magic Man didn't have a chance to move before they came down on him, Finn pressing all the weight he could pinning Magic Man under his foot body.

"Magic Man, you're the worst." Finn spoke for all of the freaks he was a part of. "I wish I'd never taken pity on you."

It infuriated him to see Magic Man still smile when he heard that. "Oh, yes! You're so very close now!"

"Shut up!" Finn grinded him into the ground. "I wish I'd never been nice to you, 'cause you're a big jerk! And you don't act like I want you to when I do good things for you!"

The other freaks chorused their agreement.

Magic Man's smile was bigger than ever. "Yes! That's it! You've finally learned your lesson!"

Finn was so surprised that he stopped applying pressure to Magic Man's squishy body. Magic Man easily slid out from under the freaks and landed with both feet on the ground. He clapped his hands together and, in a puff of blue smoke, Finn, Trudy, Kim, Gork, Wee Wee, Gorflax, and Zap were all returned to their normal bodies. All of them sat on the ground, dazed and confused at the sudden change.

Still smiling, Magic Man opened a portal. "I'm off to spread my teachings to more sissy do-gooders." Just before he jumped through the portal, he called back, "You're welcome!" Then he was gone, and the portal closed behind him.